Hehe... :D
Jackson sat on his bed staring at his phone. He was recording himself for his alter ego. But nothing Jackson wanted to say came out…no anger…no…nothing. He just sat there crying, there was nothing he could do to change this. What happened, happened and it was his fault. Jackson just wished he had a little bit more of a warning before he had to fight for his life! Finally giving up on trying to say anything he saved the video and switched out. Holt felt Jackson's sadness as he came out. It was an over whelming feeling…it didn't help he could hear his sobbing in the very back of his mind. Holding himself Holt looked at the saved message from Jackson. He excepted this much…but not what he saw. It was just Jackson sitting there, a slight bruise forming on his cheek and a busted lip showed that he knew what happened. His eyes were far from what he normally saw when he was mad. His blue eyes would shine, but now they held none of that shine. He opened his mouth a couple of times and Holt leaned in to hear him…but he just closed his mouth again as tears started to flow from his eyes. Jackson just shook his head and turned off the video. Holt stared in shock at what he did to his other half.
This is why he didn't want Jackson to know! He started a recording trying his best to explain everything! Everything he did and why he went there. When he was finished he saved and switched out. Jackson saw the message from Holt and glared at it. This was all the proof he needed to know he had an alter ego. The simple fact that he ruined everything! Jackson couldn't handle him, like he thought he could. This was strike one, two, and three, promise broken. Jackson rubbed his arms feeling the need to go back, but this urge was a lot stronger…he wanted to die. He never thought he would ever want to end his life. But at the time he never shot anyone…or was almost killed or raped or whatever those snake people had in mind for him. Jackson held his head and screamed…Why couldn't Holt just listen to him! He let the tears flow as he curled into a ball, he wasn't going to end his life…he would kill his alter ego as well. As much as Holt desired it…he could bring himself to do it. He was scared of these new found emotions he quickly switched out.
Holt swayed as Jackson's emotions flew over him hitting him like a gun shot. He never felt so guilty in his life. He checked his phone expecting something, but Jackson didn't even listen to his explanation. This was bad…Holt walked to the bathroom to go study the busted lip when he didn't see himself. He saw Jackson sitting down with his back turned to him, his knees to his chest as he cried in tune with the crying in Holt's head. This…what is this? Holt touched the mirror confused that he could see him…but even madder at himself for what he did. He sunk back to the wall. "Jackson…come on man…" Holt moaned out seeing Jackson's head come up a little then tighten his hold on his legs and ignored him.
"I know you can hear me man…" Holt said leaning to the mirror again, "please just let me explain."
Jackson made no notion that he heard Holt's pleas for him to listen. Holt placed his hand on the mirror finally letting Jackson's emotions reach him. He cried for the third time in his life, first when he found out his dad died, second finding out he was an alter ego, and now. A Hyde never cried…unless you were Holt…then when you screwed up so bad that you made the only person who really matters check out from life. It hurt…hurt more than anything. "I didn't mean for this to happen…" He said letting his tears fall in the sink, "I just wanted to be free…I didn't see any other way, but to threaten them." He waited for someone to answer him back when nothing came. He sighed finally getting mad. "Damnit Jackson! Just listen to me!" He punched the mirror when he heard Jackson's and his named be called from down stairs. Holt cringed as he thought about talking to his aunt and uncle. He failed to think about the consequences of what he was going to do. Wrapping up his bloody knuckles looking back in the broken mirror to still see Jackson, he walked down stairs. His aunt and uncle were sitting at the table waiting for one of them.
"Sit down please," his uncle said taking in that Holt stood in the door way.
Holt sat down making sure he didn't meet anyone's eyes when he saw Heath peek around the door to listen. Great…Heath will be mad too.
"Care to explain why you were at the club we clearly told you not to go to?" His uncle asked in a tone that made Holt know it was best not to avoid him.
"I just wanted to make it clear to them that I wanted out." Holt said trying to focus on them.
"You should have told us," He said gently as his wife agreed placing a hand on Holt's shoulder. Holt moved away from her touch earning a look of concern. "We could have gone with you or helped you in any other way then what you did."
Holt sunk in his seat at his uncles words; as much as he hated to admit it he was right. "So why didn't you tell us the truth?"
"Cuz…" Holt answered, "I wanted to deal with it by myself."
His aunt spoke up, "You aren't alone…you don't have deal with these things by yourself anymore."
"And turning to drugs isn't going to solve anything either." His uncle stated getting a surprise look from Holt.
"I didn't do any there…" He said remembering Addey attacking him, "Addey drugged me and then switched me out."
His aunt and uncle sighed in relief to know they didn't have to deal with the wilder part of Holt's personality. "So you can honestly tell me that you didn't do anything there but tell them you just wanted them to leave you alone?" He asked Holt watching him closely.
"Yes…I have to look after Jackie after all." Holt said looking at the table feeling Jackson more than ever in his mind.
His uncle smiled at Holt, it was good to know he was thinking about more than himself, "Jackson was worried about you going back. It's good to know you are past that."
Holt forced a smile out; he knew they would want to talk to Jackson soon. "It feels better to have them out of my life." At least that was true.
"Did Jackson have a chance to talk to you?" His aunt asked when Holt cringed.
"He tried…" He answered showing them the video Jackson took. "But nothing came out."
"He did have a hard time handling the fact he shot someone." His uncle said watching Jackson again.
"What?" Holt shouted getting up, "Why didn't anyone tell me Jackson shot someone?" Holt threw the chair feeling even more guilty, knowing that Jackson did something like that. "He should have never!" Holt fell to his knees knowing full well why Jackson was so mad at him.
"Why did he do that?" Holt moaned out holding his head, "Jackson…I am so sorry."
His aunt and uncle just sat there watching Holt. They didn't know what to do to help him. "Holt…its okay," His uncle said softly.
"No it won't," He shouted turning his attention to his uncle. "He could have been a murder and it would have been my fault!"
"People make mistakes…" His aunt tried to reason with him. "Life happens…but now you know why you really need to think things through more."
Holt just glared at her, "It doesn't matter what I do he won't listen!"
"Then let us talk to him," His uncle said, "Maybe we can get him to see why you did what you did."
Holt sat down trying to calm down before letting Jackson out, "Let's hope he listens."
Jackson blinked a couple of times taking in where he was. Breathing in really deep he tried not to let the emotions he was feeling surface.
"Jackson?" His aunt said softly placing a hand on his shoulder when he gave her a wide eye expression sinking away from her touch. Jackson felt the emotions coming he couldn't stop them. Letting out a scream he held his head crying, finding his headphones around his neck he switched back to Holt.
Holt swayed in his seat; it was like the wind was knocked out of him. Their changes were always smooth and didn't hurt anymore, but now…it was draining what energy Holt had to just stay awake. "He doesn't want to be out," Holt said to no one, "he can't handle it."
His aunt and uncle exchanged looks of concern, "Maybe we should honor that wish for now." His uncle said when his wife nodded, "Give him some time to recharge, we will try to reach him tomorrow."
Holt nodded as he got up and walked to their bed room when Heath grabbed Holt's arm.
"You better hope Jackson recovers from this," He said in a threatening tone making Holt stare in surprise. "I know you are my cousin as well, but Jackson has always been there for me." Heath folded his arms and when Holt tried to explain Heath cut him off, "I don't care what happened…or why…I just want Jackson back."
He turned and walked away leaving Holt feeling even worst, he didn't even know he could feel worst. As much as he liked Heath…he knew he could never replace Jackson. Heath was right…Jackson was always there with him…not Holt. It was a stab to the heart to see Heath so mad at him. Like he was betraying a brother…which in the long run, he did.
Holt and Jackson missed school the next day as their aunt and uncle tried again to reach Jackson without change, so they decided to give Jackson the weekend as well. But there was so still no change. So now Holt was out all the time. Not that he minded, but it was hard when he could feel all of Jackson emotions and hear him crying. It was like a never ending static from a broken T.V. set. Between the guilt that he knew was his emotion to the never ending glares from his cousin who took to ignoring Holt to the fullest. Made Holt want to let Jackson out and have someone hide the headphones and make him snap out of it. No matter what anyone said….Frankie….Heath…Deuce…aunt or uncle, nothing worked. Now it was Monday…school, Holt feared going to school with Jackson like he was. He dreaded sitting through the classes even more. Holt was exhausted, and he didn't know why. Well…maybe he did know why…Jackson still being upset and staying up most of the night trying to figure out what he needed for school when he found their school bag with a note from Jackson from Thursday. Holt smiled at the overly fancy handwriting; it didn't really say anything, just reminding him not to forget the bag. How Holt missed his nerd…as much as he hated to admit it, it made life harder than what it should be with him gone.
Hearing his named be called from down stairs made Holt bite his lip. They didn't even call Jackson's. Grabbing the bag and pocketing the note he left on the night stand, one of the last notes Jackson wrote to Holt. It made him feel better knowing at one point in time Jackson was trying to make their life at least livable. Heath was sitting at the kitchen table laughing with his mother when Holt walked in. His aunt smiled at Holt handing him something to eat while Heath looked away biting his lip. After they ate…they were on their way to school in silence as his uncle drove. Getting out the car Heath walked up to the building leaving Holt standing by the car with a hurt look on his face. Heath never acted like this at school…Holt hoped he would be able to over look everything at school. Getting his bag he walked into the school to find some place away from people, when Frankie yelled to him.
"Hey Holt!" She said happily grabbing his hand, "How are you?"
Holt sighed and moved his hand out of her, "I have been better Miss Fine."
"Jackson still hasn't snapped out of it?" She asked in a hurt tone.
Holt shook his head earning a sad look from Frankie, "I am sure he will come back to us."
He smiled sadly at her, "I sure hope so…I am exhausted from him always in my head."
Frankie gave Holt a confused look, "He is always in your head?"
"Not like this," He said sitting down at the long seats that lined the walls, "I can hear him, so I know he can hear me as well as everythin' that is goin' on."
Frankie sat next to him, "So…you normally can't hear him?"
"No…that's why we didn't know about each other for so long."
"I guess that makes sense." She said, "So are you hoping school will help him?"
"My uncle said that doin' our normal life things might help him…" He answered pulling his ghoulfriend close, "I really hope it does work."
"Me too…" She whispered, "I want you both to be happy."
"What makes it worst is Heath is mad at me." Holt said miserably.
"Heath is mad?" She said surprised, "He was ecstatic to know you were his cousin."
"That was before I fucked everythin' up." Holt said getting up as the bell rung, "Well we best be goin' before we get in trouble."
Holt kissed Frankie on the cheek before heading to his first period. It was boring like Holt knew it would be, but what made it somewhat better was the teacher didn't seem to care if Holt was out silently writing out lyrics on his paper while trying to tone out Jackson. But the next hour Holt knew he would have a slight problem…Home Ick. Madam Sis didn't like Holt at all…so he guessed it was now or never on letting Jackson try school. So walking to his next hour he wrote a little note begging Jackson to at least try to make it through this class. Holt really needed him to make it through. Walking into the class to see Frankie smiling at him, taking his seat Madam Sis stood up in front of the class. The bell rung and she looked back to see if Jackson was out.
"Mr. Hyde….the bell." She said glaring at him.
"Well…ma'am…there is a slight-"
"Let out Mr. Jekyll now or you will be on your way to the Head Mistress," She growled at him.
Rolling his eyes he placed his hand on Frankie's setting the note on the desk. Jackson rubbed his eyes looking around. Frankie grabbed Jackson's hand when he pulled it from her. He shook his head as he looked down at the desk. Seeing Holt's note he grabbed it and crumbled it up.
"Mr. Jekyll class is starting."
He felt anger and sadness creep up on him…those short lived minutes he felt nothing. The nothing was good…this…these emotions worthless! He yelled going to his headphones again letting Holt feel the worthless emotions. After Holt gathered himself from the switched he glared at Madam Sis, "Now are you wantin' me to stay or leave?"
Madam Sis pointed to the door and when Holt got up to leave she handed him a note telling him to give it to the Head Mistress. So instead of going to the office he went to the bathroom. Looking at the mirror to see Jackson again in the same position, "Come on Jackie…why can't you just try school…all your friends are here…Heath misses you man." Holt pleaded, "Man I miss you…just talk to them."
Jackson just sat there…Making Holt sigh again and sit on the ground with his back against the full length mirror. "I know you hate me…trust me I hate myself more than you do. I can't do this without you…I really can't. You know this life better than me. I can't even focus on good days but now it is ridiculous." Holt pulled his knees to his chest. "I just wanted to keep us safe. I was wrong in doin' it the way I did." He sat there listening to the silence only hearing the sobbing, "Please Jackie…please…I am dyin' here."
"Good," Was all he heard making him jump up turning around to see Jackson glaring at him.
"Good? What is that suppose to mean?" He said mirroring Jackson's glare.
Jackson chuckled, "I want you to die!" He shouted in Holt's head making him flinch.
"You don't mean that man." Holt said sadly watching his other half shake his head insanely.
"You wanted to kill people, so what does it matter if we die?"
"I didn't want to kill em!" Holt shouted back offended Jackson would even think that.
"Bull shit!" Jackson yelled back, "You are the worst kind of person!"
"Yes I am," Holt admitted making Jackson snort, "but that doesn't mean I want to kill people!"
"It doesn't matter…" Jackson said turning back around.
"Jackson we are not done!" Holt yelled smacking the mirror when Jackson went back to crying. "I didn't mean for you to do what you did! Please Jackie." He got up breaking the mirror screaming at it, "Fine be that way! If you don't care if we die then why should I?"
"Holt?"
Holt jumped turning around to see Heath standing in the door way to the bathroom. He had tears in his eyes, "Jackson wants to die?"
Holt walked up to his cousin to have him step back away from him, "Answer me Holt! Does Jackson want to die or not?"
Holt didn't know what to say so he held himself making Heath push him, "ANSWER ME!" He screamed pushing Holt again.
"Heath…" Holt said not fighting his cousin who punched him on the chest. Holt took it without even flinching.
"Tell me!" Heath said again crying harder this time, "I just want to know…" He fell to his knees. This was the first time Heath talked to Holt since the day they found out Jackson didn't want to be out anymore. Holt sat down next to him letting him cry. Holt didn't have to do anything or give any words of comfort. Heath knew what Holt's answer was just by his lack of words…so no lie would help him now. Holt looked at the broken mirror hoping Jackson was at least listening to his cousin's cries…knowing how much he is hurting him. But like always he sat in his ball form ignoring the world around him. "I hate you…" Heath whispered out making Holt lean in.
"What did you say?" Holt asked making Heath flare up in rage, "I. hate. You!" He ran from the bathroom leaving a startled Holt. Closing his eyes he knew Heath was just upset…But his words still felt like daggers slowly pushing themselves into Holt's heart. He had to get Jackson back…But he didn't know how. Not for his own sanity, but Jackson's as well. He could feel his mental ties breaking with ever second. He couldn't snap…he couldn't go back to his life he tried so hard to get away from! Even with Jackson the way he was now…he had to be strong. He never broke the promise to him…and even with Jackson feeling the way he was now. He still hasn't broken his. So Holt knew he had to keep it under control. Getting up and walking from the bathroom as the bell rung. He thought about chasing down Heath, but choosing it wasn't the best idea right now.
Not really feeling getting yelled at by another teacher for Jackson not being out for the class he walked to the only place no one ever ventured, the catacombs. Walking to the abandoned theater looking around, seeing the organ to the side a little bit above the stage, he goes up to it and sits down. Playing a sad tone he didn't notice how much time has pasted when a voice sounded behind him.
"You play beautifully."
Holt jumped and turned around to see the Phantom smiling at him, "Do you mind if I join you?"
Holt shook his head and scooted over so the Phantom had room to sit next to him. He placed his hands over the organ. Holt put his hands over his headphones as the Phantom played for a few minutes. "I didn't see you in class today." He said calmly after he finished playing.
Holt just looked at the keys of the organ, "I am sorry sir."
"No need to be sorry I was just worried about you."
"Why would you be worried about me?" He asked not mean just confused.
"Well…you are a very talented student, and it isn't like you to skip my class." The Phantom said smiling at Holt, "I saw you earlier today as well…you looked a little stressed out. Care to talk about it?"
Holt didn't know if he could trust this man. He may be a teacher but looks can be deceiving. Taking in Holt's silence, "You don't have too…I am not forcing you too."
Breathing in deeply, "Jackson shut down on me…and he said a few things that bothered me."
"And how are you going to fix it?" The Phantom asked making Holt sink down.
"I tried everythin'…our aunt, uncle, friends…Heath," He said throwing his hands up in defeat, "That kid can seriously be stubborn!"
The Phantom just chuckled at Holt's explanation of Jackson, "Have you tried your mother?"
Holt shook his head, "She is in a mental hospital…I am pretty sure she can't help us."
The Phantom shrugged getting up, "Well all I can say is sometimes the person you least expect to help might just be the tough love you need." He disappeared, showing up high on the rafters on the stage to walk to the back. Holt bit his lip thinking over what the Phantom said. Maybe he was right…or maybe Holt would make it worst…for both Jackson and his mother. Holt's phone went off making him jump. It was Deuce.
Hey Holt….where r u? We been looking for you
Getting up Holt walked back to the school which was mostly empty, he missed most of the day. His uncle will not be happy to hear that. He saw Deuce leaning by the door tapping his foot looking around. Seeing Holt he let out a breath walking up to him, "It's good to see you dude."
Holt forced a smile, "Can you give me a ride?"
Deuce looked at him confused, but nodded anyway, "your uncle is waiting for you."
"I don't want to see them right now…just please can you take me somewhere?" Holt fixed his headphones to make sure they were snuggly on moving to Deuce's car who followed in step. Getting into the car Deuce looked at Holt. "Can I at least know where I am taking you?"
Holt took a deep breath looking out the window, "You will see."