Rifiuto: Non Mirena

"She's so close, Gibbs... two weeks left, and then our son will... will be here."

The Team Leader chuckled softly at the look of terror on the younger agent's face; his green eyes were filled to the brims with worry, fear and complete panic. Without a word, he reached up, caressing Tim's cheek. He gently stroked the young father's cheek, recognizing the fear that had once been in his own eyes when his daughter had been born. It was the type of look every father wore- whether their first or their last child.

The look of a man about to face the lion's den with only his hands for weapons. The type of look that would only get worse as she got closer and finally went into labor- the look that would morph into sheer terror at the realization of what their partner would become- the terror they would face once those delivery room doors shut behind him.

But unlike most men, Tim wouldn't run.

He'd be right by Ziva's side, the entire time.

"Tim, I'm gonna tell you something I learned when Kelly was born. And I'm only gonna say it once- so you damn well better listen." Slowly, the younger man nodded. Once satisfied that his agent was listening, Gibbs spoke, his voice soft, to calm the younger man down. "You know me, I've always put more stock in my gut than in science, like you or Abby- but on this, I'm gonna have't agree with you."

Tim waited, taking a sip of his beer. Gibbs sighed, "It's not gonna be pretty, Tim, what Ziva's gonna go through in the next couple weeks. It's gonna be worse than the worst crime scenes we've worked- no one, and I mean no one- prepares you- either of you- for the true ghastliness of birth, trust me. I went in like all other men when Kelly was born, expecting it to be a cake walk, that we'd go in, Shannon would have the baby in a matter of minutes and she'd be cute and pink and everything would be fine. I was dead wrong, on all accounts. Every single one. Most fathers go in- and I admit, I was one of them- go in thinking it's gonna be lovely and whimsical and easy. There's no such thing as easy in childbirth."

He stopped, noticing Tim's leg shaking, and after a moment, he reached out, resting a hand on the younger man's knee to calm him down. "When Shannon got pregnant, our doctor told me that the girl I'd hitched up with was gone from the moment of conception– he told me she was fragile, and vulnerable, and would remain that way all the way through pregnancy, labor and the first few weeks after our daughter was born. 'Course I didn't believe him."

Tim took another sip of his beer, forcing it down his throat. "Birth is messy, and bloody and painful, and frightening and amazing and traumatizing and disgusting all at the same time. It's long and hard and tiring for her, and she needs all the support she can get." He sighed, scooting closer and reaching up to wrap an arm around the younger man's shoulders. "Look, Tim, you're a problem solver, all men are, but this... it's gonna be frustrating, because you're gonna have'ta watch Ziva go through countless hours of pain, and there won't be anything you can do to take the pain away from her. You can help relax her, but you can't take it away; all you're gonna be able to do is comfort her best you can."

The younger man didn't respond, if anything, he paled. "Look at it this way, what that baby's gonna do for you once he comes out is give you a chance to come into your own."

"I don't understand." Blue eyes met green, and Gibbs sighed.

"That baby is going to knock down every wall, every fortress, every cage you have around your heart, from the moment he's born, and he's gonna look up at you and you're gonna fall so hard and so fast into love with that little boy that you won't be able to see straight. And Ziver's gonna lay him in your arms and all you're gonna do is hold him, and you'll realize that he's all your heart desired, that he's all your heart ever desired."

"But... but what if I'm not cut out to be a dad, Gibbs?"

The Team Leader set his beer down, reaching up and taking the younger man's face in his hands. He gently stroked Tim's cheeks, seeing the terror in his eyes, realizing that this had been spinning around in his head for a while- ever since he woke up from the coma and learned his wife was pregnant. "You can't think that way, Tim. Because it'll do nothing but destroy you."

"But-"

"What were you taught, from the time you were a child?" The younger man thought a moment, before whispering,

"To... to win?" Gibbs nodded.

"And achieve, right?" He nodded. "Then look at these next two weeks as reaching an achievement. One that's life changing in so many ways. That little boy Ziver's carrying is going to change how you look at everything- from a cup of coffee to the crosswalk. He's gonna open your eyes to a whole new world you never existed before he came along. He's gonna change how you look at your home, and work and your friends and coworkers... and how you look at your wife. This is gonna make you see Ziva in a whole new light, Tim. One you need to embrace." He pressed a kiss to the young father's forehead, whispering,

"And you know what, you've already started."