A/N: A huge thank you to the-lady-of-mishaven, o-u-a-timer, and zengoalie for editing. Only one more part to go. In this one things start looking up. I hope you all enjoy it. Thanks you all so much for the support. I truly appreciate every comment, favorite, or follow!

Day 70

It was harder now. Dealing with the pain. Killian knew he had to be strong. Knew he needed to hold it together, to put on a brave face - for Henry. But sometimes, sometimes he just wanted to go back to his ship and drown himself in rum again. Like now. At this moment, He could really use the blackness the rum created. Right now, he really wanted to be numb.

He was walking down main street. Hands shoved in his pockets, shoulders slumped. His eyes trained on the sidewalk below him. He couldn't look up. If he did he would see it all over again, see that night as it replayed in his mind.

He was trying. Bloody hell, he really, really was trying.

I love you, Killian.

The thought slammed into him, like it had done so many times before. His breath hitched as his heart sped up. Chest tightening, Killian moved his feet faster. He needed to get off of the street. Away from the place that it all happened- where he had ...

Turning the corner tightly, Killian slammed his back into the brick wall of the alley. His shaking hand combed through his hair. His hook dug into his thigh to the point of almost drawing blood. He couldn't catch his breath, his vision blurred from tears. He needed a moment. Squeezing his eyes shut, he slowly- very slowly- counted to ten.

As he finished, Killian's head came up to rest on the wall. The bricks dug into his scalp, but hedidn't even feel the pain. It was getting better. Really, it was. He had Henry to take care of. He made sure the lad made it to school on time. Made sure he was doing his homework. They were taking care of each other. So much so, that Henry spent more nights sleeping in the crew's quarters of the Jolly than at the loft.

The lad was his saving grace. Much like his mother had been. No, like she was.

Killian took a deep breath to settle his thoughts. Henry was waiting. They were getting dinner together at Granny's, then Killian wanted to sail into the bay and teach him more about the stars. His hand rubbed his eyes as he pushed himself off of the wall.

He could do this. He had to do it. Henry needed him.

Henry yanked the door open after the first knock, shocking Killian. He looked better. His cheeks had more color, eyes less dull. A smile broke out on his face when he noticed Killian.

"Killian! You came!" Henry straightened his back as the word bubbled out.

It was another change Killian had noticed in Henry. He was happier, lighter almost. The corners of his eyes crinkled in excitement. He walked with his head up, proud once again. He was so unlike the boy Killian had encountered in the loft a week ago. It made Killian's heart swell knowing he had a hand in Henry's transformation.

"Aye, lad. I did. You ready to go?" Killian held out his hook to grab the bag in Henry's hand.

"Yeah! Let me go tell mom bye." Henry turned quickly back into the house, leaving the door open.

A moment later, Henry returned followed by Regina and Robin. Killian shifted back and forth on his feet. He hadn't seen Robin since the incident at The Rabbit Hole and Regina since before that. Since the night Emma had…

"Captain." Regina interrupted his thoughts.

Killian's eyes snapped to hers and he saw something there that he hadn't expected - compassion. Swallowing hard, Killian gave Regina a small smile. He knew she was also struggling, also blaming herself. They were all barely keeping it together.

"You take care of my son." She smiled a tight smile before patting Henry on the head.

"Aye. With my life if necessary." And he would. He would not lose another person he loved.

Regina gave Henry one last hug before closing the door. As Killian fell in step beside Henry, he noticed a bounce in the lad's steps. The smile still gracing his face.

Henry was so confident that they were going to find Emma. Find her and bring her home. He truly believed it was possible. We always find each other he told Killian time and time again. Killian only hoped he was right.

Day 79

Killian pinched the bridge of his nose as he let out a sigh. What the bloody hell were they doing? He had been through all of these books and not just one time, either. There was nothing here. If there were, then he would have found it by now.

He looked at the book in front of him. He was pretty sure… bloody hell, he already looked at this one today. He flipped the book over quickly to look at the title. Closing his eyes and taking a calming breath, Killian shoved the book away before grabbing a new one.

Henry was sitting across from him, a pile of books on each side. His nose was buried deep into one. He looked focused, like all of their answers may lie on that single page. Belle was at the desk working on that magic box she called the 'internet.' The prince was in the stacks of the library, charged with bringing them new books as he found them. It was a bloody family affair.

It was a waste of time.

Killian knew this. He had already wasted the first few days after Emma… he knew there were no answers here.

But Henry had insisted. Practically begged Killian to have a research party. He could deny the lad nothing, so he agreed. Then, David joined in and Belle was always here.

Killian sighed and leaned back in his chair. Taking a moment, he observed Henry again. There was so much Bae in the boy. He really looked just like his father, but Henry also had so much of Emma in him. Like his ability to never give up- that was Emma.

Killian's legs bounced in his seat. He needed… He needed to move, before his thoughts took a turn toward the…

I love you, Killian.

He stood up so fast that the chair knocked over causing a loud bang in the otherwise quiet library. Henry's head jerked up at the sound. When their eyes met, Killian saw a hint of worry flicker though the boy's features.

"Killian, is everything - are you okay?" Killian looked at the books and then back to Henry, shaking his head sadly.

"No, lad. I need a moment. Too quiet in here. I'll just… join the prince looking for new books." Henry's eyes softened at his words.

"It's okay, Killian. Sometimes, I hate the quiet, too."

Henry was still looking at him as Killian gave him a small tight smile. It was a simple statement, but Killian understood the message. They both missed her and wanted her back more than anything.

"Aye, lad. I know." Henry nodded his head and returned to the book in front of him as Killian turned away.

Once out of Henry's sight, Killian leaned against the nearest wall. He slid to the ground slowly. Leaning his head back, he looked up to blink back the tears. His hand and hook rested on his knees, shaking. His heart was beating rapidly. Ten seconds. Then, he would get up and help David.

He did this often. Sometimes several times a day. He would give himself 10 seconds to deal with his pain. To remember Emma and everything he had lost. For that small amount of time, he would let himself feel every emotion he was trying to deal with for Henry. After, he would pick himself up and continue with whatever he was doing. It helped. Most of the time.

Killian clenched his eyes shut as he stood back up. His hand traced a path down his face. Out of the corner of his eyes, Killian saw David standing there. Frowning. Killian's hand came up to scratch behind his ear.

"Are you okay, Hook?" The prince had moved to stand next to him.

He was… better. He wasn't okay, but he wasn't drowning any longer. He was holding on. Right now, that would have to be enough.

"Mate, I appreciate the concern, but …" Killian stopped himself. David's face reflected nothing but annoyance. He knew Killian was going to lie. It was almost as if he was preparing himself for it. Killian's heart fell in his chest. Why did he keep pushing away? "I apologize, mate. I'm… what does the lad say… hanging in there? Yes, hanging in there."

David's irritated frown disappeared and understanding filled his eyes. He nodded his head to Killian and shoved him forward slightly.

"Come on, pirate. Let's find some more books for my grandson to look at." David said as he walked in front of Killian, back toward the stacks.

Killian looked back toward where Henry was before he followed the prince. He was beginning to believe that lad. Maybe, just maybe they would be able to bring her home.

Day 88

He was laughing. The sound was almost foreign to him. He hadn't laughed in so long. Henry was sitting next to him. Mary Margaret and David sat across the table, the wee prince at Snow's side. It was nice. A family dinner. Something he thought he would never have again.

They were sharing stories as they ate. Stories about anything really. He shared stories from his days as a lieutenant in the Royal Navy. How the first time he had held a sword he had actually thought he was meant to throw the blade over his back with the handle at his shoulder as a way to defend. David had tears coming out of his eyes on that one.

Mary Margaret and David shared stories about the curse. Well, mostly Mary Margaret. Apparently, she had engaged in some more enjoyable activities with the good Dr. Whale.

(They had to brush over a lot of the details for the sake of Henry)

It was nice to be included. To forget, even for just a moment, that they were missing a piece of the puzzle. That their family was still incomplete.

Killian looked to Henry. He was doing that a lot these days. Checking to make sure he was okay. The boy met his eyes and smiled. His hands making wild motions in the air as he told them about something that had happened in school.

Killian's eyes moved from Henry to observe his grandparents. Even they looked happy. Both were smiling. Mary Margaret's head was leaning on David's shoulder. David's arm was around her back. Every once in awhile, Killian noticed David's eyes drift to the empty chair at the end of the table. His eyes would drop, smile vanishing. A frown would appear on the prince's face. But only for a moment, then he would look back to Henry as if nothing had happened.

Killian looked at the clock on the wall and noticed the hour was getting late. Best if he got back to his ship and turned in for the night. Henry wanted to meet in the morning to research some more after breakfast with Mary Margaret and David. Standing, all of the eyes in the room where suddenly on him.

"I should be returning to me ship if I am expected to help the lad with research tomorrow." He moved to pick up his plates and place them in the kitchen.

"Are you sure, Killian? You can always stay here in… well, in Emma's room." Mary Margaret looked slightly embarrassed at her words.

Killian took a moment to think it over. He hadn't been in that room since he had recovered from his injury. Could he sleep there? Surrounded, once again, by Emma and everything she was? His heart clenched at the thought.

"I appreciate the offer m'lady, alas I'm… well, I'm just not ready." He nervously bit his lip at his own honestly.

Mary Margaret's eyes went softer - if that was even possible. She rushed forward and pulled the pirate captain into a hug.

"We understand, Killian. We really do." Then, she stepped back into her husband's arms.

"I'll see you tomorrow right, Killian?" Henry's voice wavered as if he was unsure.

Killian's hand came up to toss the hair on his head affectionately.

"Of course, lad. I wouldn't miss it."

He waved goodbye to them one last time before walking out the door.

The walk home was quick. Before Killian knew it, he had arrived at his ship. Once in his quarters, Killian took a moment to look around. Everything was in it's place. Just as it should be. His eyes passed over the dagger for a moment and Killian struggled to breathe.

He had taken it the moment Emma had vanished. For so many years, he had searched for the damned thing and now it was here on his ship. Only this time it was tied to someone he cared about. Someone he wanted back.

Walking over to it, Killian ran his hand over the name Emma Swan. His heart skipped a beat as his hand began to shake. Why did she have to do it? Where the bloody hell was she? These were questions he still wanted answers for.

He wrenched his hand away and walked to his bed. He did have a better day, but he still missed her. With every fiber of his being he missed her.

Quickly, Killian fell into a fitful sleep. He may be dealing with the pain during the day, but at night. At night, the nightmares plagued him.

Day 89

The sound of footsteps slamming on the deck woke Killian from his sleep. What the bloody hell was going on? Seconds later, pounding started at the hatch above his quarters. Who in the blazes could that be?

"Bloody hell, give a man a moment!" Killian yelled.

Throwing on his discarded jeans and shirt, Killian climbed the ladder to open the hatch. Once above deck, Killian was met with a very exhausted looking Henry.

"Lad? What's the matter? Is there a crisis?" He was panicking. What was Henry so out of breath?

"I… ran… from… the… library." Henry barely got the words out.

The library? They were not meant to meet there for at least an hour. Why would Henry be there now?

"Take a breath, Henry. Then tell me." Killian walked the boy to sit on the stairs leading to the main deck.

Henry was starting to worry him. It wasn't like the boy to get so worked up. His cheeks were red. Eyes bright and alarmed. After a moment, Henry continued.

"I woke up early and decided to get a head start. I left a note for grandpa to tell him to call me when they wanted me to meet them at Granny's, then I went to the library." Henry met Killian's eyes and beamed at him.

"I found it, Killian. I found a way to bring her home. I know where she is and I know how to bring her back."

Killian felt light headed at his words. His heart began to race. He had been waiting months for this day. Months. And now that it was here, Killian was scared.

"Are you sure Henry? I don't want you to get your hopes up." He placed his hand on the boy's shoulder and gave a light squeeze.

"I'm positive. Killian, I found it."

He believed him. Henry had found a way. Killian pulled the boy into a hug as tears rolled down his cheeks. It had hugged the lad several times over the last couple weeks. But this hug? This was different. It was full of something Killian had thought he has lost. Something he never thought he would be able to find again.

Hope.

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