So many feels for me in this chapter...this was one of the hardest, but easiest chapters for me to write. Ahhh... D: But I hope you do enjoy it! Like always I love reviews and your thoughts on my chapters! Thanks again.
Jackson stood in front of the mirror…he sighed as he looked at his wrapped wrists…Why was he still here?
'Cuz you know you need to be,' Holt said as Jackson grabbed his white button up shirt.
"I don't want to be…" He whispered out as Holt sighed in his head. He was grateful that Holt didn't appear in the mirror to talk to him again. Slowly buttoning his shirt he tried not to think of why he was getting ready. Grabbing his black bow tie he tied it, slowly grabbing his jacket he placed it on feeling the emptiness again. It didn't last long as he felt Holt's worry take over. 'No…we are not going back to empty,' he whispered forcing Jackson to stay aware of his real emotions. It was nice to know Holt wasn't going to let him fall…but he wasn't making it easy. All he had to do was to feel…To let the anger…sadness…fears…all stay presence in his mind.
'Happiness makes life easier,' Holt whispered out as Jackson groaned sitting in his new room…he would be staying at his uncle's house until he was old enough to move out. Heath, Deuce and his uncle all went to get his things while he was at the hospital. They didn't want him to have to go back. Holt did…he wanted to see, Jackson didn't understand why he would want to see where their mother died, but he didn't want to question.
Placing his head in his hands he fought the urges to cut again…Holt remained silent as he fought them, but the knock at the door shook him from his inner battle.
"Jackson are you ready?" His aunt asked walking in slowly seeing Jackson in the bed. Moving over to him she placed her arm around him and hugged him.
"It will get easier…" She promised as he didn't say anything. She sighed as she led him to the car, "But we really need to be going."
Jackson sat in silence as Heath tried to get him to talk. He only spoke when he needed to. People…there was no point in keeping them close, not anymore at least. Who would love a person who couldn't feel anymore?
Getting to the funeral home Jackson started to shake. He felt like getting sick…why did he have to be here? Why couldn't this be his?
'No…let's not think those thoughts,' Holt said getting Jackson's attention. Holding himself he started gasp for air as Heath noticed grabbing on to Jackson trying to calm him down. "Dad!" He yelled as David opened Jackson's car door.
"Breath Jackson…Deep slow breaths,"
He closed his eyes trying to do what his uncle said, "Why…" Jackson cried as the tears started to flow.
"Easy…it will be over soon…" His uncle soothed holding Jackson close as he slowly calmed down. Jackson didn't understand why he couldn't just get over this. He wanted nothing more to move on…but every time he closed his eyes…every waking or sleeping moment was hunted by her face…her smile…her anger…he loved his mother more than anything and now she was gone. He couldn't wake up every morning to her cooking breakfast…he would never see her smile as she read her favorite book. He couldn't sneak into her lab while she was working to try to copy what she did. There was nothing! Nothing! That could take these memories away! He slowly stopped shaking as he felt his uncle help him out of the car. He stared at the ground as Heath and his uncle led him into to the home. Clair was standing over the closed casket as she heard them walk in. She rushed up to Jackson pulling him into a hug.
"I am so sorry," she whispered to him as he slowly placed his arms around her. Clair smiled despite the situation…he reacted to her. That is all she needed. He felt her warmth…her sweet smell of her favorite vanilla perfume. How it invaded his mind…gritting his teeth he felt something. The agony was slowly leaving him as he held her…she didn't move but tightened her hug as he tightened his. He let her go slowly as her soft green eyes had tears in them, he felt her wipe something off his face. "It is good to see you…" She told him as he smiled sadly at her. The agony was returning the moment her hands left him. He wanted to reach for her…to hold her and never let go. But who would love a broken person like him? He looked at the casket that had his mother's picture smiling at him. He held his heart feeling it beat…so it was physically there…he walked over in a dreamlike state…he didn't want to believe she was gone. Wishing this was all a dream he placed his hand over the cold metal casket. He didn't know what to do…why he was even standing here….he looked up and saw her smiling at him. He closed his eyes before he flashed back to her last moments. He screamed out and fell to his knees leaving that one hand on the casket he cried. He couldn't breathe as he just let all the emotions he was hiding flow. Why did she leave him? Why did she not wait? Why didn't she just kill him too? Why did she think he would be able to survive without her? Why….why…. "Why…" He moaned out, "Why…"
There was a soft hand that reached for him, but he shook them off. "No…She could have waited…we could have worked it out."
No one answered him…no one was there…he didn't want them to help him…he didn't want to be bothered. But he knew they were there. He could feel their eyes…hear the worry in their voices as they kept a distance. Letting him say his good byes…but it wasn't a good bye. It was wanting nothing more than to have his mother back and there was nothing he could do.
'Remember all the good times.' Holt whispered out as Jackson didn't move.
'What is the point?' He asked mentally back as Holt sighed.
'Remember the happy…learn from the pain…forgive mistakes….cherish the love.'
Jackson smiled a little as Holt said that… 'Like when she took us to the amusement park?' He asked as Holt chuckled.
'That would be a good start…'
'Too bad you had to fall off the railing as you waited in line for a ride.'
He felt Holt's amusement and little fear come to him as he laughed a little, 'not my fault the damn kid pushed me.'
Jackson laughed a little as Clair looked a little concerned. She sat back after he pushed her away. So she waited for him to gather himself enough to take a seat or let Holt say his good bye. She jumped as he moved a little…his blue eyes red. She got up as he just gave her a pained look… He moved to the seats to sit down as he stared at her picture…he tried to remember that face. Not the…Jackson shook his head as he held his face in his hands.
"Jackson Jekyll?" A voice asked he slowly looked up to see a man in his sixties smiling sadly at him. "Are you Jackson Jekyll?" He asked again as Jackson nodded.
"Oh good…because I am your grandfather, Dr. Benjamin Jekyll," He extended his hand as Jackson just looked at it. Benjamin just he his hand drop as he cleared his throat, "And this is my lovely wife, Betty Jekyll and my other grandson Dylan Jekyll." He motioned to the small looking women with dirty blonde hair who had red rims around her gentle looking brown eyes. Then to the young boy about eighteen years old…he had messy black hair cut short like Jackson's but his eyes were different…one was hazel…and the other was blue. He looked embarrassed to look at Jackson, but he smiled at the mention of his name. Jackson just looked at the trio in front of him, "I have no grandfather…and my cousin's name is Heath." He stated plainly as the man in front of him chuckled.
"The elementals?" He said loudly getting Jackson's uncle's attention. "They don't understand your condition like we do!"
Jackson held on to his knees as he looked at the floor, "I don't have a condition." He whispered as Benjamin laughed, "So she never told you, typical of your mother to forget to let you know something important."
"Do not…" Jackson whispered darkly standing up, "Talk about her like she was worthless!"
The man just laughed, "She is my daughter boy…I can say what I want about her."
Jackson just glared at the man in front of him, "Now I know why she never told me about her piece of shit father!" He yelled out making his uncle appear next to him.
Dylan rushed to Jackson pushing him back down in his chair, "You dumbass! How dare you insult him! He wants nothing more to help you!"
Jackson got up seeing red, "Don't…ever…touch me!" He yelled as his uncle grabbed Jackson's arm before he could attack the boy who was laughing.
"He isn't worth it," he told him as Heath came running, but he was stopped by his mother. "I will hurt you for that!" He yelled as his father glared at Heath, "Heath stay out of it!"
"Let's see that Hyde side!" Dylan taunted as Benjamin just stood back with his arms folded thoughtfully.
"Yes…I always wondered about Jackson's alter ego." He told his wife as she gave him a scared nod.
"Screw you!" Jackson screamed feeling a headache form…this hasn't happened since the first day of school…the anger…the red….boiling anger.
"Jackson…" His uncle said standing in front of him trying to block the view of Dylan as Jackson held his head.
"Oh come on elemental let the boy switch!" Benjamin called over getting an evil glare from David as he tried to keep Jackson from switching like this.
"Music…" Jackson moaned out as Holt appeared in his mind fueling Jackson's anger. He reached for his headphones as Holt appeared in a ball of flames. His uncle jumped back in shock as Holt took that moment to tackle Dylan. Dylan was taken by surprise as Benjamin yelled out laughing. "About time!"
Dylan recovered quickly grabbing Holt by the throat. Growling Holt lit his hand on fire grabbing onto Dylan's wrist burning him…he let go shouting trying to back out of Holt's tight grip, "You should have never pushed Jackson…Now you get to really see anger," He growled out as he went to punch him as his uncle pulled Holt's hand off Dylan. Dylan fell to the ground holding his burnt wrist. Holt fought a little with his uncle, "Holt Hyde you will stop right now!" He scolded forcing him into the chair. "Calm down!" He yelled making Holt glare at him. "Take a breath!"
Benjamin was laughing not even caring that Dylan got hurt as he watched Holt be controlled by his uncle…his wife was looking over him as he pushed her away going to attack Holt again. Benjamin stopped him by grabbing his other wrist holding it up to see the Hyde birthmark on his ring finger, "Dylan switch!" He demanded as Dylan tried to pull away, "Fuck you! And Fuck him!" he yelled as his grandfather held tighter, "Switch…" he growled out as Dylan stumbled a little as the Hyde mark disappeared, the boy yelled out in pain as he looked at his brunt wrist. Betty rushed over pulling out a small travelling first aid kit from her purse. Benjamin shook his head as she pulled him into a chair, "You baby that boy too much."
She looked a little ashamed as Dylan was holding back tears. Holt was smiling evilly at the boy as Benjamin started talking towards him. "I never seen a blue Hyde…I wonder if that is because of the elemental in you." He moved closer to study him, "Anger and loud voices control you…interesting." Holt glared at him, but didn't say anything. His uncle stood in between them, "You will leave Holt alone." He growled as his hair lit on fire.
Benjamin let out a booming laugh, "Oh he has a name!" Dylan looked over a little confused as Betty fixed up his wrist.
"Well of course he does." David said confused, "He is still a person."
Benjamin raised an eyebrow, "Oh…dear me…you poor souls really think he is a person? A Hyde is always a mental switch, never physical."
He pushed past David as he glared his hair still on fire. "But this one…" He looked over Holt studying him as Dylan watched, "He has the mark on his face, red hair…orange eyes," He mumbled off to himself as Holt just listened glaring at him. "Is able to be controlled by other people…interesting…I wish I was able to study you're up bring, it might make more sense on why you think you are a person."
Holt punched Benjamin in the nose making him fall down. Holt got up and walked over to his mother's casket and placed his hand on it, "Now I know why you never let me meet your side of the family." He whispered out as Benjamin held his bleeding nose.
"That boy defiantly has the strength," He said as Holt glared back at him.
"You really need to shut the hell up."
David walked over to Holt placing a hand on him, "I agree, Benjamin I will nicely ask you to leave both Jackson and Holt alone."
He just laughed again, "The boy is my grandson…I believe I have a right to the orphan."
It was David's turn to punch the man as Holt watched in awe as his uncle lost his temper. "You will leave them alone!" He screamed making his wife rush over pulling David away from Benjamin. Holt grabbed his uncle as well afraid of what he could do…he has never seen his uncle even close to being mad. It scared him a little.
Benjamin laughed now holding onto his broken nose, "Not surprising you lost your temper…Elementals especially fire ones are hot headed…that makes sense now for the boy…not only does he have the hot-headedness from his father…but from the Hyde side. I won't be surprised if he gets into a little trouble after all this."
Holt wanted to attack him again as his aunt yelled at him, "Have you no heart?"
He chuckled, "Jekyll's do not need a heart…they are logical beings with the Hyde's to show our emotions…just like my daughter Sydney she was the perfect example of that, but she wanted love…to bad she didn't let me study her son as she tried to make him a person. She was mad when I called her 'love' an experiment."
"I would be too!" His aunt said keeping her husband and Holt from attacking the man again…Heath was holding on to Holt as Deuce who just showed up half way through all this helped as well hold Holt. "Let both Jackson and Holt say their final good byes to their mother…then we all can go a separate ways…no need to let this continue. Both of them have been through a lot in their lives no need to add on more." She said in the verge of tears as David's hair went out as Holt went back to looking at his mother's picture on top of the casket.
Benjamin was watching Holt with interest, as if he was trying to memorize his every movement and reaction to all of this. Dylan was watching closely as well…why was he so attached to his mother? No Hyde ever cared enough to know about their family. Heath stood next to Holt as he whispered something to the casket as Deuce stood back a little more.
Benjamin nodded, "Fine…I will leave the Hyde alone for now…Knowing I already have a broken nose, but Jackson…I might talk to again."
"No you won't!" Holt said not looking away from the casket, "You will leave him alone…or I will take great pride in breaking your bones."
Dylan glared at Holt as his grandfather smiled proudly, "I knew you would bring me pride…Jackson getting straight A's in school just like a true Jekyll and you…you are just like a Hyde should be."
Holt flinched, "I am nothing like you…" He whispered as he switched Jackson back out. He didn't even look around as he sat back down the way he was before they came. Heath backed away as Clair retook his spot.
"Are they gone?" He asked as she shook her head no to him, "Tell them to go die."
She looked at them with hatred as Dylan smiled smugly at her and Benjamin smiled with pride mouthing to her 'we will fix him right'. The preacher came up calling everyone to take a seat so they could start the ceremony. He waited as Clair tried to move Jackson, but he didn't, so she just looked at the aging man as he smiled with understanding, "We are gathered here tonight to mourn the loss of a loving mother of Sydney Jekyll." He started as Jackson closed his eyes trying to do what Holt said… Remember the happy…learn from the pain…forgive mistakes….cherish the love.