"W-wow, you did a good job…"
Atosaki marveled in awe at the near flawlessly reconstructed kitchen. Her gaze shifted to Lancer, who stood nearby wearing a white short-sleeve shirt and leather pants, a proud look on his face.
"What'd you expect?" he asked smugly.
"Not this much," she admitted as she pulled out a chair and sat at the dining table. "Th… thank you."
Lancer gave an almost audible shrug; Atosaki didn't even need to look up to know that his shoulders had risen and fallen.
"The hole in the hallway is still there, though," she noted.
"Err, yeah. I was gonna get to that, but I got caught up trying to replace this 'sertraline' stuff… What was it for, anyway?"
Raising an eyebrow, Atosaki looked up and saw Lancer wiggling an orange medicine bottle held between his thumb and forefinger. Apparently her antidepressants had become a casualty of Caster's attack.
"Uhm… just some supplements…"
"Smells toxic, whatever it is. Don't take 'em anymore."
"I can't quit cold turkey," Atosaki retorted, though she got the feeling he was right.
"Cold…?"
"I… I need to go to the pharmacy then. Can't miss too many days…"
He watched her stand and collect herself, her actions a little erratic. She seemed embarrassed for some reason, but he wasn't about to pry.
"Lemme tag along."
"E-eh?" Atosaki smiled nervously, a purse thrown limply over her shoulder. "You sure you should be walking around in broad daylight?"
"Don't think anyone's gonna recognize me," Lancer replied, stepping past her toward the door.
"Oh, like you don't stick out like a sore thumb."
Everything about him screamed noticeability. She'd never forget that blue hair of his, and she was confident that no one else would either. Unless anyone who saw him never had a chance to tell the tale.
"Whatcha thinking about?"
Lancer's voice drew her back to the present. She glanced over at him, thinking while she walked.
"Your hair," she said, not telling a total lie. "I like it."
"Definitely got me the ladies back in Ireland," he boasted. One hand slid down the back of his neck, almost self-conscious, or maybe Atosaki simply perceived it that way.
"Ah, you're Irish? I never would've guessed."
"It's 'cause you're not supposed to know."
"Right, right."
Atosaki nodded firmly, her lips caught between a grin and a grimace. He smiled so easily, could make a joke out of almost anything, yet behind all of that there seemed to be something else, a hidden sadness. She wasn't so surprised though. After what he almost did to her during their first meeting, she couldn't know for sure what he was really like.
It was scary to think that she was probably walking next to a killer.
"…Do I make you uncomfortable?"
Atosaki didn't know how to answer Lancer's question, and so she hesitated. To say no wouldn't be completely sincere, but saying yes just sounded rude.
"I… well…"
She clasped her hands together, staring down at the sidewalk.
"I won't fault you for it," Lancer said with a sigh. "I've probably got the suckiest job in the universe right now and of course it's not gonna get me any kudos… Ah, damn, what am I tryin' to say here…"
Being revered as a hero throughout history, the dirty work Kirei Kotomine had Lancer do was an absolute insult to his name. He could imagine his teacher's disappointment over his role in the Holy Grail War—it should have been a noble exploit, not something to be ashamed of.
The girl he tried to kill didn't have anything to do with the War, she wasn't even a warrior. And the boy who summoned Saber was wrong: Lancer didn't kill like it was nothing. He wasn't that kind of person, yet all the signs pointed to it. If anyone, he wanted to kill Kotomine, for what he did to his former Master and what he was making him do now, but to stay in this world Lancer had no choice but to follow orders.
Did that still make a blameless crime?
"Th-that doesn't mean I don't like being with you!"
Lancer saw Atosaki blushing a bit after her outburst, searching for words.
"I mean… yeah," she stammered. "You're… a pretty cool guy, I think. I haven't known you long, but… you're probably keeping me sane in this craziness… and you're not unkind."
So she didn't judge harshly. His expression softened as he looked at her, this girl he hardly knew who understood him more than anyone else. When she returned his gaze he looked away, not sure of what to say in return.
He felt her hand pull gently at his ponytail.
"Don't look so down," she said. "I want to see you with a smile."
"Heh… you're right. Thanks, kid. You keep that in mind too."
"Huh?" She pretended not to get what he was alluding to, tried to uphold a brave front.
"I can tell you've lost a lot," he said. "That picture, the flowers, even your eyes… They tell me all I need to know."
"W-wait, what flowers…?"
By now Atosaki was blushing bright red, partially because he learned so much, and also because he saw the entire picture, the portrait of a hypocrite. She would always cheer on others, just not herself. He saw right through her.
She tried to change the subject. "Have you been stalking me…?"
When he only grinned and turned away, she jostled him playfully. Never in a million years did Atosaki ever think she could act so naturally with Lancer. If only they had met under different circumstances, and it didn't feel like every moment would be their last.
Like every moment might get both of them killed.
The pharmacist inside the supercenter kept giving Atosaki curious glances, a silent request for an explanation, and when she found herself empty-handed she made the first move.
"So, Miss Kurokawa," she said, filling up the prescription bottle, "who's the guy you walked in with?"
Atosaki watched the pharmacist give a nod toward Lancer as he browsed a selection of Hawaiian shirts in an aisle near the pharmacy counter, an inquisitive look plastered on his face.
"He's a friend."
"Ooh, that's nice! So how did you two meet?"
When he almost murdered me, Atosaki was tempted to say. "Random encounter. It was a bit rocky at first, but he's growing on me."
"Quite an improvement there. I do hope he'll be the change you need in your life."
"Um, change?" Atosaki asked.
The pharmacist handed over the medication, nodding.
"You've been so sad lately, but you seem brighter now. I'm glad to see your smile again." The real one, she thought, not saying that to Atosaki. "Well, if you can just sign here…"
"Yes, of course…"
"Hey, what do you think?"
Atosaki watched Lancer walk over wearing a stoplight-colored shirt, the reds and greens and yellows fully lit under the halogen lights. She suppressed a snort.
"Glorious."
He smirked, moving to unbutton the front and put it back.
"Do you want me to buy it for you?" Atosaki asked suddenly.
Lancer looked surprised. "Oh, nah, you should save your money…"
"But I'd like to…" she said, retrieving her wallet again.
"I'll do it!" the pharmacist piped in. Both Lancer and Atosaki were taken aback. "…What? I don't mind helping you two out."
Atosaki still kept her money in hand. "Is that really alright?"
"Of course! How can you say no to those colors?"
"Wow, thank you so much!"
Lancer laughed. "Yeah, thanks. I totally agree…"
So the two of them departed for home with some antidepressants and a Hawaiian shirt on the house.
Later in the afternoon, Atosaki began rooting through her parents' things, seeking answers to the questions they left behind. She felt rude doing so, but she needed to know why she could do what she did, and why they never told her. Unfortunately, it appeared they had taken most of their papers with them to America, leaving little which Atosaki could actually use. She would probably end up getting most of her answers out of Lancer.
Sighing, Atosaki exited the study, noticing Lancer crouched down near the hole in the hallway, his eyebrows furrowed.
"What's wrong?"
"…Y'know, I mighta stabbed this area 'cause I felt energy residue around it. Lemme just…" He materialized his spear and prodded at the rock below. "Huh. I knew it."
"Knew what?"
Before she could say anything else, Lancer thrust his spear directly into the wall, eliciting a surprised yelp from Atosaki.
"Sorry," he said as he pulled it out.
The floorboards shifted abruptly, parting to fully reveal the foundation beneath the hole. Atosaki backed up, amazed, when the ground rumbled and sank, forming a stone staircase leading somewhere underground.
"Holy crap," she muttered. "How could I have lived in this house and never known that was there? What the heck is it for, anyway?"
Lancer stepped down into the stairs, offering a hand to Atosaki.
"You ready to find out?" he asked.
Atosaki gulped, honestly unsure. Was she ready? As hard as she searched for the truth, did she really want to know? Recalling the raw power which surged through her veins, the crystals as they erupted from the ground, those feelings of confusion and betrayal—there had to be a reason behind them. Only, somehow it felt safer knowing nothing at all.
She looked to Lancer and saw how his eyes shone with reassurance and the confidence that everything was going to be alright. She wasn't alone. And if he was the one by her side, then yes, she was ready. Readier than she'd ever be.
Atosaki's fingers found his, and he remembered the night she fell ill and took him by the hand. Now she did so with eyes open, fully conscious, fully willing. She dropped herself into the stairwell, struggling to balance on the first landing, her body leaned against him.
"I think I can stand or fall on my own."
Lancer hesitated before he pulled the girl in and wrapped his free hand around her shoulders.
"L-Lancer, what're you…?"
"Atosaki Kurokawa, are you afraid?"
"…Afraid of what?" she asked, peering up at his face.
When he said nothing, only waited, she put her head momentarily against his shoulder and spoke.
"No, I'm not." The girl turned to the darkness and then back to Lancer, a gentle smile playing on her lips.
"So let's go."
A/N: Hi everyone, thanks so much for your reviews and favorites and follows, it makes me crazy happy. Hopefully my updates get a little faster; I've been traveling abroad for a while now. Please tell me what you think, offer your opinions and/or give suggestions! See you all soon, and thank you again for your continuing support of Shots in the Dark.