-emily-

Everything was perfect. Id never been so happy.

Everything was perfect, that is, until it ended.

I was covered in a cold sweat and goosebumps. My heart wouldnt slow down and i couldnt stop smiling. Then it hit me. I finally got back into a state of thinking straight. What just happened? Why did it feel so good? I love Hanna. What had happened last night?

-NO POV-

Aria and Hanna got up and asked if she for sure wanted to stay, it was getting late.

"Yeah...i gotta make sure shes ok. Ill see you at school tomorrow ok?" She replied. they both nodded and went out the door. For several minutes Emily paced around Spencers living room, nervous to actually see her when she got home. 'I dont think i like her,' she thought, 'i think i just like being liked by someone else. She probably doesnt even like me. Lots of straight girls use their gay friends to experiment. I just hope shes ok.'

She sat down on the couch, her leg bouncing in nerve. Unable to sit still she went into the kitcken to get a glass of water, Spencer not leaving her thoughts of worry. Thirty minutes and several obscene words later, Emily found herself in spencers room laying on her bed crying. 'Its my fault. I let it happen. I encouraged it by kissing back,and now i cant deal with the reprocussions.' Emily let herself cry until she fell asleep not even bothering to call and say she was staying over.

-emily-

All those thoughts hit me like lightning when i was shaken to concioisness. Tear stains were on my face, and my body ached. Spencer was standing over me looking as if she had also been crying a fair deal.

"Youre still here.." She mused sounding meloncholy.

"Yeah i mean...of course. I didnt know where you were. I didnt know if you were ya know...like ok?"

She sat down next to me on the bed. "Im fine. I didnt think id ever get a chance to just kiss you if you and Hanna were together so...i took the opportunity. But then i realized id probably just lost you and Hanna both so i needed a break." She shrugged. I reached over and touched her thy lovingly and reassured her.

"You cant get rid of me that easy," i smiled, "we never have to tell Hanna, i wouldnt want to lose her either. I love her you know? And youre my bestfriend." I could almost see the weight come off of her.

-spencer-

I kissed her. I finally kissed her. And to make it even better she kissed back, for just a second, before she pushed back and i knew it. Maybe she wanted me too...but she said stop, and the look in her eyes screamed regret, and i couldnt sit there one second longer. I ran like A was personally trying to kill me. I lept off the porch and skidded on the concrete as i rounded the corner. Our keys were always on hooks by the door in our garage, so it took no time to disembark my house.

I drove to nowhere and took a left and just kept going. I couldnt get far enough away. It was like home was a storm, and i had to see the sun. I couldnt live with the fact that I had made a situation that would ruin something beautiful for other people, and destroied friendships for myself. So consumed in my thoughts, i was surprised when i realized i had driven all the way to Philly. Coming back to myself i got off on an exit to turn around and be a grown up and face what i did.

I pulled off at an exit id only been on once, and it was for a special dinner for Melissa when she won student body president. All the seniors in the state who won were to go to a dinner at a resturaunt called The Ballroom. Everyone was just like her, needless to say it was a terrible night.

I pulled into a gas station just off the exit, and saw two girls walk out of a diner across the street. They were laughing and wearing matching sunglasses. As they approached was i assumed to be their car, they both leaned in and kissed a boy. Those girls were best friends who had spent the day with their boyfriends having a great time together. I let my mind wander on the possibilities of what they had done that day. Thing Emily and I no doubt had done; them feeling what I had felt a million times before and taken for granted.

Watching those girls...it made me wonder if i was currently emotionally stable enough to lose someone like Em or Hanna over a little girl crush. I had Toby after all, i really loved Toby. I started bawling. The gas station was empty and the lights were off giving my hysterical breakdown some privacy. I started driving home so fast im surprised i didnt get pulled over. I needed to be home now. I needed to be safe in bed. I needed to figure out how to make ammends.

I pulled into my garage finally feeling comforted by firmiliar surroundings. I slowly got out of the car, and into my home. I shed a few tears, knowing i did truely have it good, and that i had amazing friends. I was scared, though, that i may be about to lose a few. I dried my face and kicked off my shoes by the door. I walked up the stairs absorbing every moment like it was the last time id see it all.

I walked into my room and the first thing i noticed was a dark figure on my bed. Automatically i thought i was A come to finally just kill me, but the figure uttered a moan and i knew i recognized it. I would have recognized it anywhere; Emily was laying asleep in my bed. 'She stayed for you Spence, maybe you should let her sleep' she thought, 'no you need to deal with this. Fight for your friend.' I took a few strides across the room and knelt beside her gazing at her like she was an angel.

"Em...Em come its really late." I shook her shoulder and her eyes fluttered open. She had been crying, and she looked like something had genuinely scared her, "Youre still here..." I said, letting all emotion of being deeply touched at the gesture show, but also the sadness I had just overcome.

"yeah I mean...of course." And with those words I knew I hadn't lost anything.