LTP: And we're back!
Reala: Where the hell is Jackle?
LTP: I gave him the day off for being such a good sport last chapter. anyway, NiGHTS say the disclaimer.
NiGHTS: Lady Twilight Prime does not own NiGHTS into Dreams, NiGHTS Journey of Dreams, Two Best Friends, or Portal2.
LTP: SHOWTIME!
NiGHTS & Reala Play Portal 2
*opens in Reala's room. NiGHTS and Reala are sitting in front of a large TV and NiGHTS has a controller in her hands*
Reala: *Sounds exasperated* Okay, let's do this. Let's get this over with.
NiGHTS: This is gonna be fun, right?
Reala: Okay, yeah, the game is awesome, but...You're an idiot.
{~~~}
NiGHTS: So, you use, you use portals, right?
Reala: You're f***in' with me right?
{~~~}
NiGHTS: Kay, what do I do? Where's my guns?
Reala: There are no guns.
NiGHTS: What? Why am I playing this?
{~~~}
*classical music is playing, then a buzzer is heard*
NiGHTS: Yeeh!
Reala: Really?
NiGHTS: I'm not prepared for like, loud buzzing noises.
Reala: What are you prepared for?
NiGHTS: Not this, whateve-
Reala: Sleeping.
NiGHTS: Finally.
Reala: Go to sleep
NiGHTS: After all my hard work, I've earned it.
{~~~}
Wheatley: And it's not out of the question that you might have a very minor case of serious brain damage.
Reala: That's amazing, the game knows you have f***ing brain damage.
{~~~}
Wheatly: That's the spirit!
Reala: You idiot.
NiGHTS: Yay!
*NiGHTS jumps down*
NiGHTS: JUMP!
Reala: Just, just f***in' kill me now.
{~~~}
*Portal opens*
Reala: Look, a portal. There you go.
NiGHTS: Aah, what the f***! Who's that?
Reala: Do you not understand the concept of portals?
NiGHTS: What the f***?
Reala: This is like the whole game! This is the whole thing right here!
NiGHTS: This is like looking at one of those infinite mirror elevators.
Reala: Yes it is, but you can walk through it!
NiGHTS: But I don't like that! When I'm in those elevators I start freaking out! This is not good.
Reala: You really start freaking out in those elevators?
NiGHTS: ...Yeah.
{~~~}
NiGHTS: Where is this coming from? Which portal is that? Are there three portals or four?
Reala: There's two.
NiGHTS: What? Look, there's one... two... three.
Reala: You're looking at a portal through another portal, just from a different direction.
NiGHTS: What? Hold on. Hold on a sec *tries to look through the portal*
Reala: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!
NiGHTS: I don't get it.
{~~~}
NiGHTS: What does this thing do?
Reala: That's a material Emancipation Grid.
NiGHTS: Wait, what? I don't listen to rap dude.
{~~~}
Announcer: Relax, lie on your back, and apply immediate pressure to your temples.
NiGHTS: Okay.
Announcer: You are simply experiencing a rare reaction, in which the material Emancipation Grill may have emancipated the ear tubes inside your head.
NiGHTS: My ear tubes?!
Reala: You don't need those, man.
NiGHTS: They're my favorite tubes.
Reala: No they're not!
{~~~}
Reala: This is not hard!
NiGHTS: No one told me anything...
Reala: No one tells you anything! To my knowledge, I'm the only person who talks to you! Ever since those visitors stopped coming, you're like the Ralph Wiggum of real life. I turn around for two seconds and catch you eating glue and crayons.
NiGHTS: *Eating an unwrapped crayon with a guilty look on her face* This is getting a little too personal.
{~~~}
NiGHTS: When do I get my shotgun? This is getting a little ridiculous, it's been like... 5 minutes.
Reala: You'll get your shotgun when Episode 3 comes out.
NiGHTS: That was my least favorite Star Wars, I'll tell you that much.
Reala: What the f*** are you... Oh, f*** you.
{~~~}
Wheatley: Hey! You made it!
NiGHTS: Hey, it's Nigel!
Reala: His name isn't Nigel. They're not all named Nigel, that's horrible.
{~~~}
*NiGHTS falls into a trapdoor*
NiGHTS: S***! Oh, no no no!
Reala: See? See? Progression.
Wheately: Do you see the portal gun?
NiGHTS: No.
Wheatley: Also, are you alive?
NiGHTS: Yes!
Reala: Why are you physically answering to a character in a game?
NiGHTS: Because...
Reala: The- the TV can't hear you!
NiGHTS: Look, there's no shotgun so far, so I have to find some way to make it entertaining!
Reala: THE TV CAN'T HEAR YOU!
{~~~}
NiGHTS: Alright.
*NiGHTS tries to jump across, but misses*
NiGHTS: WHAT?!
Reala: Really? Really?
NiGHTS: That's where it leads to, so...
Reala: You just, you literally just picked up the portal gun, and instead of trying to shoot it, you're thinking 'I'm gonna jump over there!'
NiGHTS: The path is right here!
Reala: Shoot the gun!
{~~~}
Announcer: Smooth jazz will be deployed.
NiGHTS: Smooth jazz?
Reala: You ready for some smooth jazz?
*Jazz starts playing*
NiGHTS: Aww s***!
Reala: IT'S SO SMOOTH I CAN'T TAKE IT!
NiGHTS: I'm slipping all over the place!
Reala: I'M JUST SLIDING OUT OF THIS CHAIR!
*Music shorts out.*
Reala: Well, that's depressing.
{~~~}
NiGHTS: Hey, there's an Octopaw.
Reala: Yes there- Octopaw? Now you just have to get THAT cube. Can YOU figure out a way?
{~~~}
Reala: Holy s***, good job. I think I have some dog treats around here I can give you.
NiGHTS: Well good-HEY!
{~~~}
NiGHTS: TO INFINITY! *jumps through portal and lands* Yay! I did it! *steps on switch and opens door*
Reala: you weren't into infinity though... Now quick, run through that door real fast.
*door closes*
Reala: AAAAWWW.
NiGHTS: Hold on, hold on. *steps on switch again* I didn't really nail my landing.
Reala: Really?
*door closes again*
NiGHTS: Oh, that's some bulls***.
{~~~}
Reala: I swear to Wizeman, every time that you ask me 'where?' and I point at it and you go 'where? and move the camera away, it makes me want to choke you like a puppy.
{~~~}
NiGHTS: Hey, look it's Nigel again!
Reala: HIS NAME IS NOT NIGEL! Will you just f***ing throw the portal behind f***ing Nigel- *Exasperated sigh* NOW YOU GOT ME SAYING THAT S*** AND- F*** YOU! YOU ARE LIKE BRAIN CANCER! MIND CANCER! YOU'RE NOT A BRAIN TUMOR... YOU'RE HURTING MY IDEAS!
{~~~}
NiGHTS: Okay, so where are we here?
Reala: You have to find an escape route. But don't worry. It's f***ing harmless.
NiGHTS: He's saying that bad things are going to happen.
Reala: Yeah, but he's a little b****. Don't worry about him.
NiGHTS: So nothing bad's gonna happen?
Reala: Nothing bad is gonna happen.
{~~~}
GLaDOS: Oh, it's YOU. *Throws Wheately into an incinerator*
NiGHTS and Reala: OH!
Reala: S***!
NiGHTS: F***! You said nothing bad would happen!
Reala: TO YOU!
NiGHTS: NIGEL!
{~~~}
NiGHTS: Hey, I'm a robot.
Reala: I am also a robot.
NiGHTS: I'm a better robot than you.
Reala: You don't even know which robot you are yet.
NiGHTS: I'm probably the one that's the best one.
Reala: Which one's the best one? What's it look like
NiGHTS: It's the one with blue in it... That one! You're the orange one!
Reala: Cool. I get to be the tall robot.
NiGHTS: ...Aww f***.
{~~~}
NiGHTS: What's the most American animal here?
Reala: The chicken.
NiGHTS: No way! I'm like Three Wolf Moon here!
{~~~}
Reala: Hey, get back! I've got something cool to show you.
NiGHTS: Yeah, right. You fooled me before...
Reala: Look down, and shoot a portal at your feet.
NiGHTS: You know what? I'm gonna say no to this.
Reala: Just do it.
NiGHTS: Okay...
Reala: Just do it you wimp.
*Shoots portal*
Reala: Yeah. Traveling through space-time!
NiGHTS: Yeah, I stopped your little trap. *Falls back in* *****!
{~~~}
Reala: Step on that button. *Door closes on him* Why would you do that?
NiGHTS: Oh, sorry.
Reala: JUST F***ING STEP ON THE BUTTON! *Door closes on him again* WHY WOULD YOU F***ING DO THAT?!
{~~~}
Reala: I swear to Wizeman, If I f***in' walk over there, and that s*** closes on me, I'm going to go outside, find a homeless guy, pay him money, to come here, and take a dump in your sink.
NiGHTS: … *Gets off button*
Reala: WHAT THE F-
{~~~}
Reala: Here, take the stupid cube. I don't even want it.
NiGHTS: SLAM DUNK! *Glass breaks*
Reala: NO! You have to use it to solve the s***!
NiGHTS: YEAH!
Reala: STOP IT! F***ING... AMERICA! WHY WOULD YOU DO THA- AAAH!
*Cube knocks Reala backwards into water. NiGHTS laughs hysterically*
{~~~}
Reala: Are you even jumping? What are you doing?
*Camera zooms out to show NiGHTS in a two ground portal trap.*
Reala: Stop it. We need to solve these f***ing puzzles.
NiGHTS: I can't... stop! There are too many sciences!
{~~~}
*Now Reala is caught in a gravity trap*
NiGHTS: This is like an abstract painting of our stupidity.
Reala: Mostly yours, though. Mostly yours.
NiGHTS: I think it's around 50-50, because you're in the same f***ing problem I am!
Reala: I hate your face.
NiGHTS: We need to play something that won't stress us out because this is madness right now and nothing's being solved. So what- is there anything we can play?
{~~~}
*NiGHTS and Reala are now playing New Super Mario Bros*
Reala: Oh man! This is great! Why the hell didn't we play this before?!
NiGHTS: EVERYTHING IS FUN!
LTP: See Reala? A sketch can be funny without being humiliating.
Reala: Whatever.
NiGHTS: I actually thought the game was pretty fun, especially when tormenting Ree with the door!
Reala: *grumbles*
LTP: 'Kay everyone, see ya next time!
Click the review button and NiGHTS might visit you in your dreams tonight.