NiGHTS: And we're back!
Jackle: Hey, Where's LTP?
NiGHTS: She got a really bad sunburn at the Dolphins game yesterday and couldn't come in.
Reala: Then why are we here?
NiGHTS: LTP put me in charge until her burn lets up.
Reala: WHAT!? IT WAS ONE THING WHEN I WAS DOING WHAT SHE SAID, BUT I'LL BE DAMNED IF I HAVE TO LISTEN TO YOU!
NiGHTS: LTP thought you might say that, so she had Jackle spray your clothes with this when you weren't looking, *holds up a small bottle* and told me to unleash Cerberus if you didn't comply.
Reala: NiGHTS, what is in that bottle?
NiGHTS: I think she said it was female dog in heat urine...
Reala: ... F***!
Jackle: LTP does not own NiGHTS into Dreams, NiGHTS Journey of Dreams, or Charlie the Unicorn. NOW LET"S START THE SHOW ALREADY!
Reala: WHY ME!?
Reala the Nightmaren 3
(Reala is walking alone in a random hallway of Nightmare Castle)
Echoy voice resembling NiGHTS/Jackle's: Realaaaaa.
Reala: Hello? Is someone there?
Echoey voice: Realaaaaaa.
Reala: What? What do you want?
(silence)
Reala: *grunts*
Jackle and NiGHTS: *materialize in a flash of light, wearing sunglasses and futuristic-looking gear* Reala!
Reala: Gah! Ah! Give me a heart attack, that's fine!
NiGHTS: We're from the future, Reala!
Reala: Oh, I bet.
Jackle: The world is in perillll.
NiGHTS: All that is good has been consumed by evil!
Jackle: *Jackle's eye begins to glow* The end is nigh! Nighhh!
(Jackle and NiGHTS disappear into a smoky grey cloud, where several copies of NiGHTS and Jackle in various sizes emerge then disappear back into the cloud)
Reala: Yep, so that was the scariest thing I've ever seen.
NiGHTS: Come with us to the future!
Jackle: We need your help to finish our snowman!
Reala: Snowman? What are you going on about?
NiGHTS: There's no time to explain!
Jackle: Grab onto our tongues!
Reala: How do I-
NiGHTS and Jackle: Blehhh!
(NiGHTS and Jackle's tongues shoot out of their mouths and drape themselves on Reala)
Reala: Ohhhh that is so gross!
(the three disappear in a flash of white light, then reappear in a similar flash in Pure Valley)
(NiGHTS and Jackle's Future Costumes have disappeared)
NiGHTS: Reala, we're here!
Jackle: In the futureee! *blows party horn*
Reala: This is Pure Valley and everything looks the same!
NiGHTS: Shhhh, you'll wake the Umu.
Reala: *blinks* Umu?
Jackle: We need to get to the river
NiGHTS: And we gotta be sneaky.
(NiGHTS and Jackle start floating in the air, and bending their legs like they're made of rubber)
Jackle: We gotta be sneaky, Reala, sssneaky.
Reala: Yeah, there's no way I can do that with my legs.
Jackle: Oh no! Listen!
NiGHTS: The Umu has awoken! Run!
Reala: What are you- I don't hear anything!
NiGHTS: Hurry! Look out for the Yomyoms!
Jackle: They're everywherrrrrrre!
Reala: What am I missing here?
NiGHTS: Narshlogs! Coming in from above!
Jackle: Evasive maneuvers! *Starts to float away* Neh! Nyehhh!
NiGHTS: Reala! Look out for the Bleh-bleh-bleh!
Reala: *groans* Can I go home yet?
(Cuts to a river with a large duck-shaped boat which Jackle and NiGHTS are already on)
Jackle: Reala, get on the duck!
NiGHTS: The Bleh-bleh-bleh are right behind us!
Reala: I think I'll take my chances with the Oompoos and the Wawas.
Jackle: Oh no! A Narshlog has got Reala!
NiGHTS: Quickly! Grab onto our tongues!
NiGHTS and Jackle: Bleh!
(NiGHTS and Jackle's tongues shoot out of their mouths and drape over Reala)
Reala: Oh! Aw, really? Again with the tongues?
(Cuts to Reala, Jackle and NiGHTS on the duck-boat, riding down the river.)
NiGHTS: Ring, ring.
Jackle: Hellooo?
NiGHTS: Ring, ring.
Jackle: H-he-hellooo?
NiGHTS: Ring, ring.
Jackle: Helloooooo?
NiGHTS: Ring, ring.
Jackle: H-hello?
NiGHTS: ...Ring, ring.
Reala: You have a bad connection!
NiGHTS: Time to go down below!
Jackle: Into the liquid abyss!
(The duck-boat begins to sink into the river)
Reala: Oh my Wizeman, hey, hey! I can't swim! Or breathe underwater!
NiGHTS: Ring, ring.
Jackle: Hello?
Reala: I'm serious, I'm going to drown!
(NiGHTS and Jackle are talking over Reala)
NiGHTS: Ring, ring.
Jackle: Hellooo?
NiGHTS: Ring, ring.
Jackle: Hellooo?
Reala: What does this have to do with snowmen!?
NiGHTS: Ring, ring.
Jackle: Helloooblubblubblub
(duckboat sinks into the river with Reala, Jackle and NiGHTS on it)
(the duckboat is floating to the floor of what looks to be ruins of a castle somewhere in the Aqua Garden)
NiGHTS: See, Reala? Look!
Jackle: This is where we've hidden the snowman!
Reala: Yeah, to save the world, right? I'm not even gonna ask how I'm still alive. 'Cause you know what I think? I think I died long ago and you two are my eternal punishment.
NiGHTS: You're like a constant downer, huh?
(Reala, Jackle, and NiGHTS are walking through the ruins)
Jackle: To get to the snowman we need to first pass-*camera zooms out to reveal a door standing alone in front of the trio* the Dooooor!
NiGHTS: The Dooooor!
Reala: The Door?
Jackle: Th-the Door!
Reala: What is the Door?
NiGHTS: The Door is everything!
Jackle: All that once was and all that will be!
(The door begins to float and multicolored light begin to flash)
NiGHTS: The Door controls Time and Space!
Jackle: Life and Death!
NiGHTS: The Door can see into your mind!
Jackle: *pupils contracts* The Door can see into your SOUL!
Reala: Really, th-the Door can do all that?
Jackle: Heh, no.
(Reala, NiGHTS and Jackle are walking through the ruins again.)
NiGHTS: We're almost there, Reala. It's right at the end of this-Oh my God it's a whale!
Jackle: Nooooo! Whaaaale!
(Shadow of a whale passes over the trio)
(silence)
(Shadow moves on)
NiGHTS: Just a few more steps and-Oh my God it's a Narwhal!
Jackle: Noooo! Narwhaaaaal! Narwhal of deathhhhh! It's gonna kill us!
(Shadow of a Narwhal passes over the trio)
(Silence)
(Shadow moves on)
NiGHTS: It's right up ahead now! You can see the-Oh my God it's a-
Reala: Stop it! Stop it! I don't care about each and every sea creature you see!
Jackle: But, Reala! They care about you!
(Music begins as a beam of light covers Reala and he begins to float upwards)
Reala: Oh, no. No! No! Noo!
(Reala lands on the top of a pillar, and Gulpo floats on screen with a bunch of balloons then lets them go.)
Gulpo: *singing* ~When, you're feeling all alone, the world's a drone, and nobody's shown any love to you,~
Reala: *speaking* I can't tell if you're adorable or creepy.
Gulpo: *singing* ~When, you're heart is cold as stone, just change your tone, get rid of that groan, and the world will too!~
Reala: Probably gonna go with creepy.
Gulpo: ~Cause Swordfishes-~
Swordfish: Love you.
Gulpo: ~Jellyfishes-~
Jellyfish: Love you.
Gulpo: ~Starfishes-~
Starfish: I LOVE YOU!
Gulpo: ~You know it's true. Catfishes-~
Catfish: Love you.
Gulpo: ~Cuttlefishes-~
Cuttlefish: Love you.
Gulpo: ~Blowfishes-~
(Starfish cuts in front of blowfish)
Starfish: STARFISH REALLY LOVES YOU!
Gulpo: ~In the ocean blue!~
(Seapo wearing a golden chain around its neck and sunglasses appears with a bright orange background and begins to rap):
~Lungfish, Blackfish, Alligator, Icefish. Armourhead, Hammerhead, Anaconda, Flathead, Manta Ray, Sting Ray, Fangtooth Moray, Goblin shark, Grass Carp, Round River Bat Ray., Noodlefish, Hagfish, Man O' War, Ladyfish, Black Eel, Baby seal, Sprat, Koi, Electric Eel, Lamprey, Pejerey, Yellow-edged Moray, Salmon Shark, Sleeper Shark, Featherback and Eagle Ray!~
(Reala and Gulpo)
Gulpo: ~Well, you can ignore this plea. That's fine with me, But one day you'll see, That my words are true!~
Reala: Please stop singing to me.
Gulpo: ~What if, You find that you agree? I garauntee, That you will soon be Feeling the love too!~
Reala: I can't wait.
Gulpo: ~Cause Swordfishes-~
Swordfish: Love you.
Gulpo: ~Jellyfishes-~
Jellyfish: Love you.
Gulpo: ~Starfishes-~
Starfish: I WANT TO BE WITH YOU FOREVER!
Gulpo: ~You know it's true! Catfishes-~
Catfish: Love you.
Gulpo: ~Cuttlefishes-~
Cuttlefish: Love you.
Gulpo: ~Blowfishes-~
(Starfish cuts in front of blowfish)
Starfish: STARFISH! LOVE ME! LOVE ME!
Gulpo: ~In the ocean BLUEEE!~
(Gulpo floats off a bit and explodes)
(music ends)
Reala: *floats back down to the ground* Oh, there goes everyone exploding.
(camera zooms out to reveal a snowman standing on a pillar)
Reala: Oh, hey, look at that. Hey guys! I found the snowman! What did you want me to do? Guys?
(green tendrils of smoke start rising from the ground.)
Reala: What the-Oh, sleeping gas! Of course. Why did I expect any different?
(Reala collapses, the camera fades to black)
(later, somewhere in Frozen Bell, Reala is laying on the ground. it's snowing and his persona is gone.)
Reala: *wakes up* Uh, oh, oh! Where am I? Hey! What happened to my persona?!
(camera zooms out to reveal the snowman wearing Reala's persona)
Reala: Oh! Come on, really! What did that accomplish?! Why would-
(camera zooms out to reveal a red glob in the snowman's side)
Reala: Oh, look it's my kidney.
Reala: *exasperated sigh* Glad that's over.
NiGHTS: I just got a call from LTP, she said she'll be in tomorrow.
Jackle: YAAAAY!
Reala: *sarcastically* Yippee.
NiGHTS: *faces camera* Okay everyone, see you all next time!
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