LTP: Well, time for another episode of drunken comedy!

Disclaimer: LTP does not own NiGHTS into Dreams, NiGHTS Journey of Dreams, SCP -087 or any of the 11 drunk guys. LTP also does not approve of drinking irresponsibly.

8 Drunk Nightmaren Play SCP-087

(once again we open in Reala's room where NiGHTS, Reala, Jackle, Bomamba, Puffy, Queen Bella, Donbalon and Chamelon are gathered around Reala's laptop. NiGHTS is playing SCP-087 with Reala and Jackle sitting next to her. Donbalon is chugging a bottle of Jack Daniels with Chamelon while Bomamba, Queen Bella, and Puffy are having a discussion about politics. And everyone is drunk out of their minds, again.)

Chamelon: Okay, let's play count the stairs.

Jackle: Look there's a number on the stairs there. Behind you.

NiGHTS: So you know which floor?

Jackle: Yeah, it'll indicate which floor- nonono, behind you on the wall opposite.

Bomamba: OH GOD!

Reala: THERE!

Donbalon: We're already s***ty at this...

Puffy: There's a one.

Queen Bella: No ZERO! That's a zero!

NiGHTS: Oh there it is!

Chamelon: It's the zero-eth floor!

Reala: Shut up...

Jackle: Okay, DON'T get too excited and go down too fast! There are, there are THINGS IN THE DEPTHS!

NiGHTS: Okay, what are the controls? What if I click, what happens? *clicks*

Reala: Nothing.

*NiGHTS goes down the steps quickly*

Jackle: AAH! DON'T!

Puffy: Is there a sprint button?

NiGHTS: Why is going fast bad? I'm so confused...

Jackle: 'Kay fine, just go fast! Have fun! Have f***in' fun with your fast ascension!

Queen Bella: Stop being fascist!

Reala: Everyone shut up!

NiGHTS: What happens like, what kind of monsters are there in this thing?

Bomamba: We don't f***in' know anything!

Donbalon: BATS 'N S***!

Chamelon: Bats and vampires.

Jackle: Stair monsters!

Reala: F*** stair monsters, man.

Puffy: Edward Cullen is gonna cut.

Donbalon: NONONONONONONO!

Jackle: F*** J****!

Queen Bella: F*** J****?

Reala: HEY! NO F***ING J****!

Donbalon: That's offensive man!

NiGHTS: We're only on four guys! We've been down like fifty times!

Chamelon: Four down, ninety-six to go!

*NiGHTS jumps*

NiGHTS: I CAN JUMP!

Reala: YOU CAN JUMP?! YOU CAN JUMP?! That makes everything, all of a sudden you're frolicking!

Jackle: Stop!

Donbalon: Jump the gap!

*NiGHTS tries to jump the gap but fails*

Reala: Okay, the ability to jump makes it less scary because now you're f***ing frolicking!

NiGHTS: *jumping down the stairs* LALALALALA!

Jackle: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH! NO, GEEZ LOOK AHEAD OF YOU!

NiGHTS: *fist pump* I CAN FROLIC MOTHER F***ER!

Chamelon: Turn around, turn around and walk backwards down the stairs!

Jackle: NO!

Puffy: That sounds sketchy. That sounds sketchy.

NiGHTS: Wahaha! *walks down the stair backwards*

Reala: NO YOU F***ING F***OT!

Everyone but NiGHTS: *various screaming and cursing*

Reala: *gets in NiGHTS face*I AM GONNA FIST YOU!

NiGHTS: *laughs*

Jackle: 'Kay, we'll take bets on what floor we die at!

Puffy: What floor do you think it'll be at? 10?

Reala: 20!

Donbalon: 7!

Jackle: And if you win you get to take like, seven shots.

NiGHTS: I'm gonna guess 15! 15 is my guess!

Queen Bella: Hahaha!

Reala: We're at 11.

Chamelon: What's behind you?

NiGHTS: Frolicking!

Jackle: WHAT'S BEHIND YOU?! GO BACK UP!

NiGHTS: That was 15.

Bomamba: I said 27-

*random boom is heard*

NiGHTS: *jumps* WHAA! F*** my ass!

Reala: 'KAY! *grabs onto NiGHTS*

Jackle: You should slow doowwwnn!

Everyone: *drunken babbling*

Jackle: AAAHH! NOOO! AAAH! NOOO! I thought I saw a thing!

Donbalon: Oh s*** there's darkness!

NiGHTS: HAHA THERE'S STAIRS!

Puffy: Wait, what!?

Queen Bella: *sarcastically* Are you sure? I don't think so.

Reala: Well we're freaking the f*** out over nothing!

Jackle: OH S***! OH S***! OH S***! OH S***!

Chamelon: Seven's coming up.

Jackle: NONONONO! HE'S GONNA BE THERE! OMG!

*shadows move*

Everyone: WOOAAAH! *more screaming and cursing*

Jackle: THERE WAS MOVING SHADOWS!

Reala: THAT WAS WEIRD AS S***!

NiGHTS: WHAT THE HELL!?

Puffy: What the hell was that?!

Donbalon: DON'T LOOK BEHIND YOU!

Jackle: AAAHH!

Bomamba: I bet it's behind you.

Chamelon: Don't slow down!

Jackle: OOHH!

Reala: DON'T SLOW DOWN! F*** YOU!

Queen Bella: Don't look behind you!

Donbalon: Walk backwards down the stairs!

NiGHTS: I am gonna f*** this bag of juiced nipples up!

Jackle: NONONONONONONO!

Puffy: The staircases are getting shorter!

Chamelon: They are?

Reala: They're totally getting shorter!

Jackle: They're getting shorter!

Everyone: Count the stairs!

*counts the stairs*

Everyone but Donbalon: 1234567891011!

Donbalon: N***** S*** B**** F*** MY ASS!

Jackle: *jumps onto Reala's head* Oh God, oh God, oh God!

Reala: Get your feet off my face!

Jackle: AAAhhh!

NiGHTS: 41!

Jackle: NO! 'KAY, YOU'RE STILL GOING AT THE SAME SPEED!

Reala: This is the worst game in the world!

Puffy: *screams like a whale*

Jackle: PLEASE SLOW DOWN! OOHH! F***!

NiGHTS: Ninety-nine bottles of beer on the wall-

*shadows move*

Everyone: *screaming, cursing, general freaking out*

Reala: F***ING ASS D***S!

Jackle: F***! F***IN' D*** F***IN' OMELLETTE!

NiGHTS: Guysguysguys! Hold on, hang on!

Donbalon: *starts singing* ~Eye of the tiger, it's the thrill of the fight~

*everyone else joins in*

Everyone: ~RISING UP TO THE CHALLENGE OF OUR RIVALS! AND THE LAST KNOWN SURVIVOR STALKS HIS PREY IN THE NIGHT, AND HE'S WATCHING US ALL WITH THE EYYYYYEEEEEE, OF THE TIGER!~

Chamelon: DERP! DERP DERP DERP!

Jackle: S*** S*** S***! AAAHH!

NiGHTS: *screams randomly, possibly to mock Jackle*

Jackle: LOOK DOWN! Nononono down the stairs I mean! You need to look ahead of yourself.

*shadows move, again*

Everyone: WAAAAAHHH!

Jackle: AAAAHH! S***TY F***IN'!

Bomamba: Look above you, look above you!

Jackle: AAAAAAHHHHH!

Queen Bella: *random scream*

NiGHTS: We're almost at 69 guys!

Chamelon: *drunken singing*

NiGHTS: Guys, wait, wait, wait! Best floor ever! 69!

Everyone: *cheers of victory*

Jackle: I was son of a-

*shadows move*

Everyone: *freaks out*

Jackle: AAAAHH!

Reala: OH F***ING B****ES!

Jackle: Okay, no more f***ing Peter Gabriel!

*NiGHTS jumps down steps

Everyone: *screams in fake terror*

*shadows move*

Everyone: *screams in REAL terror*

Reala: OH F***ING ASS!

Puffy: How can we alleviate the stress and horror of this?

*shadows move again*

Everyone: *screams again*

Donbalon: S***!

Reala: STOP F***ING FLIPPING OUT! YOU'RE MESSING UP!

Chamelon: AAAAHHH!

Bomamba: Wait, wait, wait, I got a theory

Reala: Everybody shush!

NiGHTS: Can we cuddle?

* 2 seconds of silence*

Jackle: YES!

Reala: YES!

Jackle: *shoves his butt in NiGHTS' face* F***ING CUDDLE MY ASS!

*Jackle freaks out several times throughout the game*

*shadows move*

Everyone: *freaks out along with Jackle*

Puffy: OMG!

NiGHTS: I'd rather put six urethras in a blender than do this again.

Donbalon: *belches*

Jackle: *grabs Bomamba's legs* YOUR LEGS ARE HAIRY BUT THEY PROVIDE ME WITH COMFORT!

NiGHTS: 94! Guys 94!

Reala: 90 mother f***ing 4!

NiGHTS: 98!

Jackle: 98!

Queen Bella: Whoo hoo!

Jackle: AAAHH!

Reala: Oh s***! Something's gonna happen!

*Shadows move again*

Everyone: WAAAAHH!

NiGHTS: God damn it!

*Jackle freaks out several more times*

NiGHTS: OK guys I'm gonna turn around! In one...

Jackle: NO!

Reala: Don't you f*** me! Don't you f*** me!

NiGHTS: Two... I lied.

Donbalon: HA HA, HA HA HA HA!

Puffy: Walk backwards.

Jackle: Pick a number, If nothing happens before that number-

*NiGHTS walks down the stairs backwards*

Everyone but NiGHTS: *tons 'o screaming and cursing*

Reala: B****!

NiGHTS: Alright, let's do it, let's do it, let's do it!

Jackle: NO! BAD IDEA! NONONONONONONONONO!

*NiGHTS jumps down the stairs backwards*

NiGHTS: Frolicking mother f***ing backwards!

Jackle: IT'S GETTING DARKEEER! *freaks out some more*

Reala: There better be some s*** that happens-

*shadows move*

Reala: WHOA! OH F***!

Jackle: WHAT THE F*** HAPPENED!?

Chamelon: What the f*** man?

Puffy: WHAT WAS THAT!?

NiGHTS: It was that God damned shadow, like every other one.

Jackle: AAAAAAHH! NO! NOOO!

Donbalon: OH S***!

Bomamba: Dude it's like a f***ing bear! It's the pedo-bear!

Queen Bella: It looks like Bambi!

Jackle: AAAAHH!

*Jackle freaks out even more every time NiGHTS goes down the steps too fast*

Jackle: 'KAY, F***IN LOOK FORWARD!

NiGHTS: You know what? F*** this! I'M WALKING UP THE STAIRS!

Everyone but NiGHTS: NNNOOOOOOOOOOOO!

*NiGHTS tries to walk up the stairs but the game won't let her*

Puffy: Turn around you dumbass!

Reala: I will fist you!

Chamelon: OH YOU CAN'T! YOU CAN'T!

NiGHTS: That is bulls***!

Jackle: AH AH! AAAHH! NOOO!

Donbalon: This game sucks d***! Like it sucks more d*** than I do, and that's saying alot!

Reala: *hits a cymbal*

Everyone but Reala: *minor freak out*

NiGHTS: You're an ass****, that's MY move!

Bomamba: GUYS GUYS! There's something about 144, it's the stairwell!

Puffy: Is there anything on the roof? Look at the roof!

Queen Bella: You can't look at the roof.

*a face appears in the darkness*

Jackle: AAAAHH!

NiGHTS: OH GOD!

Everyone: *SCREAMS LOUDLY*

NiGHTS and Reala: *hugging each other while screaming*

Jackle: *running around the room screaming*

Donbalon: *tries to dive under the table, but is too big to fit*

Chamelon: *passed out drunk*

Queen Bella, Puffy, and Bomamba: *trying to hide behind some random pillows*

Jackle: WAAAAAHHH!

Puffy: Oh my jeez!

Donbalon: It was Slenderman!

Reala: Why did he flick your nipple?

Jackle: *still running around* OOOOOOHHHH!

NiGHTS: THAT WAS THE GAYEST ENDING I'VE EVER EXPERIENCED!

LTP: DAMN JACKLE, you were freaking out like crazy! Eh, oh well. SEE YA'LL NEXT TIME!

~Review for sweet dreams tonight~