The next morning Castiel was woken up next to Gabriel. "Castiel?" he asked quietly.

Castiel groaned in disapproval, this was the first night in a long time that he slept without a single nightmare. Castiel slowly opened his eyes to see Gabriel "What?" he asked.

Gabriel smiled, "Your mom says you need to get up."

Castiel sat up slowly, and rubbed his eyes, "Why?"

"She said you have to go see your therapist," he said with a frown.

Castiel groaned. "I don't wanna," he whined standing up and stretching. Castiel looked at Gabe, "You didn't have to stay all night."

"I think I did," Gabriel smiled sadly as he left the room.

Castiel was puzzled by what Gabriel said. He stood, grabbed his clothes and walked into his bathroom.

Jimmy sat at the breakfast table with his head resting against the cool wood.

He jump when his mother tapped his shoulder. "Are you alright, honey?" she asked.

Jimmy nodded then hissed. He cradled his pounding head and whispered, "I'll be fine."

"He isn't happy," Gabriel said entering the kitchen.

Balthazar sighed, "I can't believe he's still like this," he said shaking his head. "After three years!"

Gabriel leaned against the counter and poured a cup of coffee. "Well, he was Alistair's favorite," he said in disgust. "God knows what happened to him."

Jimmy, again forgetting that movement increased the pounding, shook his head. "I fucking hate this," he said before again grabbing his head.

His mother gasped in disbelief, "Jimmy!" she exclaimed.

He glared at her. "Well I am!" he yelled, his head hating him for it. "I hate seeing him like this! I don't have one good memory of him!" He said trying to hold back his tears. He looked between the people in the room before looking at his mom. "You know what I remember?" he asked "I remember playing tag in the park. He was it, and as I ran ahead of him, teasing him about how slow he was he stopped to catch his breath, but I didn't stop. I just kept running..."

"Jimmy," he mother whispered brokenly.

"I kept running, and the only reason I stopped was because I saw him get pulled into that car," he said as his tears fell. "It was my fault he got taken."

Balthazar stood from the table and walked over to the boy and pulled him into a hug. He quietly hushed him. "This wasn't your fault," he said. "Don't blame yourself."

"I should have stayed close to him," he sobbed into Balthazar's chest.

"You could not have done anything. You were just a kid."

Gabriel heard Castiel coming down the stairs; he turned to Guinevere who was now in tears. Without speaking he nodded to her and quickly walked to the stairs to catch Castiel. "Hey kiddo," he said with a smile, "Let's go to therapy."

Castiel frowned and asked, "Mom's not taking me?"

Gabriel shook his head, "She has a headache, so she's going to rest a little longer."

"Oh," Castiel said following Gabriel out to his car. The car ride was mostly silent until Gabriel's curiosity got the best of him.

"How've you been Castiel?" he asked.

Castiel looked at him and tilted his head, "Fine."

Gabriel sighed, "Bullshit Castiel. I pulled up yesterday to find you screaming bloody murder with some kid trying to calm you down!" He looked at Castiel for a second before looking back to the road.

Castiel shook his head and gave a small laugh, "Why don't you leave that to my therapist."

Gabriel gripped the steering wheel tighter. "Dammit Castiel, you know I know you better then anyone! Now tell me why this keeps happening!" he shouted.

"I don't know!" Castiel screamed back. He didn't want to remember, but the harder he tried to forget the more he remembered. He looked down at his lap. "I don't know, and I don't want to. I. Just. Want. It. To. Stop."

Gabriel sighed and loosened his grip on the steering wheel. He understood what Castiel was going through, which wasn't the greatest thing in the world. He sighed as he stopped the car, opening his mouth he looked at the young teenager and closing it again. He wanted to say something, but didn't know what, so without a word he got out of the car and started to walk towards the clinic.

Castiel looked up and watched with wide eyes. He couldn't walk to the door by himself, he thought. What if it happens again? What if he got taken again? Castiel swallowed his nerves and slowly got out of the car. As he stepped onto the sidewalk he looked around to make sure no one was around, and then he quickly made his way over to Gabriel.

The clinic wasn't large, and the room they were in now was mostly taken up by the front desk. As they walked up to the front desk Castiel thought to himself, 'I hate therapy.'

~That night at Dean's~

Sam waited until John left his study to crawl out from underneath the table, and quickly make his way to Dean's room. Once he was there he saw how Dean was making everyone leave.

"Dean. We have a right to know," Jo protested. "We're part of the team!"

Dean sighed, "And you will know." Pausing to think, he looked at his friends before saying, "After you get to know Cas, then I'll tell you what I've learned. Now go!"

Jo huffed, "Fine."

Once they were all gone Sam took Dean's hand and pulled him back into the room. He pushed Dean down onto his bed, and threw the files down next to him. He was angry, but not at Dean; He looked at Dean "I-I" Sam tried to speak but he didn't know what to say.

Dean understood, "I know," he said quietly.

Sam shook his head as tears formed in his eyes, "Who could do that to little kids?" he asked with a broken voice.

Dean grabbed Sam's arm and pulled him into a hug. "I don't know Sammy," he whispered.

"I mean, how's Jimmy taking this?" he looked up at Dean. "Losing your brother at such a young age... and then when he comes home he has the memory of being..."

Dean hushed his baby brother. "It'll be okay," he said shaking his head, angry at himself. "I shouldn't have sent you to get the files. You shouldn't have to know about this," he said.

Shaking his head Sam pulled away and said, "I'm fine."

"Sam you're twelve," he said, "You shouldn't have to know about this."

Sam stiffed. "But what if it were you who got taken, Dean?" he said "What if it was me?"

"Then I would have kicked some serious ass until I found you," he said. "Dad wouldn't sleep until you were home, and the guy that hurt you," he said standing, "would get his lungs ripped out."

Sam looked up at him and nodded. "It's just..." he paused as he felt a strange pain in his heart. "Is that why he reacted the way he did when you touched him?"

Dean's jaw clench as he looked out his widow to the house next door. "I don't know Sam," he said looking back to his brother. He gave him a warm smile, "Now get to bed."

Sam smiled up at him before walking towards the door, "Alright. Jerk."

"Night, bitch" he said, laughing as he closed his door. Dean walked over to his bed and sat down with a frown as he picked up the files and started reading.

~o~

Castiel shifted uncomfortably on the couch as he glanced cautiously at the therapist.

She smiled at him and quietly asked, "How are you Castiel?"

Castiel snorted "Well besides being up at six to talk to you? Crap-tastic," he half joked.

She laughed quietly.

"Okay," he said.

"Now how about we get to know each other a little." she said, "Or we can get straight to what's bothering you, if you'd like."

Castiel thought for a moment. He knew he wanted the dreams to stop, but he didn't want to talk about it right then. "Do you have a first name, Dr. Singer?" he asked.

She smiled and took her glasses off, "Ellen. How do you like it here so far? Have you made any new friends?"

Castiel looked down and shrugged, "I guess this place is alright, and..." he paused and shook his head.

Ellen smiled, "And what, Castiel?" she said.

"Nothing," he said leaning back against the couch. "It's just…there's this kid that I think I have a crush on."

Ellen nodded, "Does this crush have a name?" she asked.

Castiel smiled and looked down at his hands. "Dean," he said softly, "But I've only known him for three days so…I don't know."

Ellen smiled softly, "Sometimes it doesn't take long for the heart to know what it wants," she said.

Castiel looked at her. "But I don't even know if he's the same way," he said frowning as Ellen looked at him confused. He sighed, "Ya' know…gay?

Ellen frowned, "Castiel, why do you say that as if it was an illness, as if you may have a disease?"

Castiel looked down. "My father," he said, "he's religious, and when he heard what happened to me after I was found? He…couldn't handle it." he said.

Ellen nodded, "How did that affected you?"

Castiel shook his head. "Once I got home he made me read the bible," he said "and then when I stopped talking, and wouldn't pray…" he said his voice becoming more broken. "He locked me in the basement. That pushed me back into that nightmare I had been living in for so long. Being in the dark for what felt like a life time, the beatings we'd get when we disobeyed, the screams of the others." He started to sob, "Everything…"

Ellen, knowing of his condition laid a comforting hand on the couch next to Castiel, "It's okay; that's all over; you're safe now." she said.

"NO!" Castiel shouted. "I'll never be safe; not until he's caught!" he yelled through angry sobs. He wrapped his arms around himself.

Ellen, a little surprised they had spoken so long before an outburst, didn't flinch. "Okay," she said "Why don't you tell me more about Dean."

Castiel looked up at her and saw she was holding a tissue for him. He nodded taking the tissue and sat back down. "He's sweet," he said with a shaky smile. "He bakes a lot, and doesn't look at me like I'm Elphaba or something" he said.

Ellen smiled "Elphaba?" she asked.

Castiel looked at her and nodded. "When I was good fath…Alistair would take me out sometimes," he said. "One time he took me to see 'Wicked'. I loved it, and I was obsessed with Elphaba because she was feared just because she was born green." He grinned sheepishly, "I guess I still compare myself to her because people are afraid to come near me too."

"But not Dean," she said.

Castiel shook his head, seemingly a bit confused, "No, I don't know how but he just seems to know my limits, which is strange since I've known him only a short time. He doesn't push me, or try to touch me," he said. "He doesn't ask questions, but he still talks to me, sits with me."

Ellen smiled, and thinking out loud let slip, "Sounds like Dean."

Castiel's eyes widened, "You know Dean?"

Ellen sighed and nodded, "Yes I do."

"Is he one of your patients?"

"You know, I really can't talk about that with you Castiel."

Castiel frowned, "Why?"

"Well, it's against the rules. Besides, we are here to talk about you." she said.

"Please I won't tell him you told me," he begged.

"Castiel I could loose my job," she said, "and don't try those puppy dog eyes on me, because they won't work." Ellen sighed, "I'm sorry Castiel, but you will have to speak with Dean," she looked at her watch. "We're out of time for today. We will speak again soon. I have enjoyed getting to know you a little Castiel."

Castiel stood up. "You too, Ellen. Thank you," he said as he left.

~o~

Jimmy was sitting on the couch flipping through a book when Gabriel and Castiel got home. As soon as Jimmy saw Castiel he ran over and wrapped him in a hug. "I'm sorry," he said "I'm not mad, or angry, or anything, okay?" he said.

Castiel nodded as he hugged his brother, "I know. And I'm sorry about your head. Is mom feeling better?"

Jimmy tilted his head, "Yeah, she's fine, and don't worry about it; you know I have the hardest head around," he said with a grin.

Castiel smiled and walked into the kitchen where he found his mother talking with Balthazar. He ran over to her and wrapped his arms around her. "I love you," he said.

"I love you too" she said with a smile, surprise at Castiel's sudden show of affection.

Balthazar gave a small fake sobbing noise, "I feel the love," he joked.

Gabriel walked in and pulled Balthazar into a hug. "I love you, too, Balty," he jokingly sobbed.

Castiel laughed as he turned around to look at them. Then his vision started to blur; Balthazar and Gabriel weren't in their late teens anymore. They were little again; the kitchen was dark and Castiel felt reality start to fade.

Castiel closed his eyes, and shook his head. "No," he whispered as he tried to keep the memories at bay.

Jimmy saw this and walked over to him, "Stay with me Castiel," he said.

Castiel opened his eyes, and saw Jimmy. "I'm fine," he said with a force smile, "Fine." He walked away heading towards his room. Once he was inside he closed the door, walked over to his bed, and slowly sat down. "Why won't this stop?" he asked himself as he laid down covering his face with his pillow.

~o~

Dean was awakened by a knock at his door. "Yeah?" he asked groggily as he stretched. Dean looked down at his chest and realized he'd fallen asleep reading Castiel's file.

"You gonna wake up sometime today?"

Dean quickly covered the files with a blanket as his dad walked in "Yeah…Yeah, I'm up" he said with a smile.

John studied Dean for a moment before crossing his arms, "What did you do?" he asked.

Dean laughed, "I didn't do anything."

John gave him a look, "mhmm" he hummed. "Well just know that if you did do something I'll find out, and trust me…you don't want me to find out." John and Dean stared at each other for a while. John sighed, "Now get you ass ready, and get down stairs."

"Yes sir," Dean said in a mocking voice.

"Smartass," John said as he left the room.

John walked into the kitchen where Mary was standing looking out the window, "Is he up?" she asked.

John sighed standing next to her, "Yeah he's awake."

"Are you sure it's the same boy?" she asked.

John nodded. "It has to be," he said. "I'll never forget the night I found him in the middle of the road screaming about how if his father found him he'd lock him in the bad room." he said. He body shook with a disgusted shiver.

"Does Dean remember?" she asked.

John shook his head, "I don't think so; Castiel doesn't look anything like he use to," he said. "He looks good. Healthy; strong"

Mary nodded before sighing, "But why'd they move here?" she asked, pain in her voice. "Why bring him back to where it all happened?"

John shrugged wrapping an arm around her. "Maybe they think it's safer for him," he said. "We never caught the guy, so they know he'd never be stupid enough to come back here." he laughed.

Mary's frowned deepened, "Or maybe he was smart enough to know to come back."

John's smile slowly faded as he thought of what his wife said. He opened his mouth to say something when Dean walked into the kitchen.

"How's it hanging mom?" he asked picking up an apple.

Mary looked at her son with a smile. "Just fine dear," she said "Glad to see you're finally awake," she said walking over and kissing his forehead.

Dean blushed and said, "Yeah I was up all night working. On my homework" he quickly added so it didn't sound like he was up to no good.

Mary laughed, "Good." She patted his shoulder. "Now, go clean you room" she ordered.

"But mom!" Dean whined.

John smiled, "Listen to your mother, Dean."

Dean groaned, "But it's not dirty." He watched his parents both cross their arms. He rolled his eyes, "Fine, I'll clean my room," he said storming up stairs.

"Thank you!" his mother called after him.

~o~

Castiel's body was trembling as a thirteen year old Gabriel slowly moved closer to him.

Gabriel reached for Castiel's shirt with shaky hands, "I'm sorry," he whispered.

Castiel lifted his arms as Gabriel took his shirt off. "Why is there a camera?" he asked quietly glancing out of the corner of his eye.

Gabriel pulled his own shirt off. "That's how father makes money," he said leaning down and kissing Castiel slowly and gently.

Castiel was shocked by the action and tried to move away, but Gabriel stopped him by grabbing the back of his neck. When he pulled away Castiel looked at him with fear. "Why am I here? Why are you doing this?" he asked quietly.

Gabriel sighed, "Just be quiet, I'll tell you in the morning."

Castiel startled awake, his body covered in a cold sweat and his heart pounding in his chest. He looked around his room and notice that he'd fallen asleep, and it was just a dream. He grabbed the stuffed dog that he's had since he got out of that hellhole, but he couldn't remember how he got it.

Knowing he should, he tried to remember the night he was found. He remembered running out of the house he had been trapped in, and the neighborhood looked empty because it was night time. Then he ran away from the house as fast as could, but he was weak because father was angry at him and had stopped feeding him. After what felt like hours of running he was stopped by an officer.

Castiel closed his eyes to try and remember his name tag. He could see the man's uniform, and the small rectangle had the first letter of his first name. J. J what?

Castiel groaned in frustration, "Why can't I remember?" he said throwing the dog across the room. He stood up and paced back and forth "J something," he said closing his eyes again.

"Hey kid!' the officer yelled walking closer to him.

"Dad! What's going on?"

Castiel opened his eyes there had been someone else with the officer; it was a kid. Castiel walked over to the dog. He smiled as he picked it up, "You remember don't you?" he said to the toy. Then he sighed, "Of course, the only one who remembers is a damn stuffed dog."

"Castiel?" Balthazar asked walking into his room.

Castiel looked up at him, "Hey Balty," he said.

Balthazar smiled. "I heard a thud. I thought I might come up and make sure you didn't fall out of bed," he joked.

Castiel gave a small smile, "No I'm awake," he said walking over to his bed.

Balthazar frowned and sat down next to him, "Everything okay?"

Castiel was silent for a moment before saying, "I guess."

"What's the face all about?" Balthazar asked with a smile.

"I don't know," he said.

Balthazar inched closer, "Oh, but I think you do know."

Castiel's smile faded, "It doesn't matter anymore; he probably hates me…or is afraid of me."

Balthazar put a hand on his back, "I see," he said "You have a crush."

Castiel nodded, "But I freaked him out yesterday."

"Well you never know," he said. "This kid may like you too, and if he really cares about you and wants to know you, he won't be scared away by what happened yesterday."

Castiel smiled and nodded, "But what if he doesn't like me?"

Balthazar thought for a moment, "Well, I guess you'll find out tomorrow." he said standing "Now come on, you should eat something." he said.

Castiel nodded, and followed him down stairs.

~o~