LTP: OH MY GOD! YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW LONG I'VE BEEN PUTTING THIS ONE OFF! *sighs* Damn it. Anyway, I don't own NiGHTS into Dreams, NiGHTS Journey of Dreams, Two Best Friends, or Grand Theft Auto 5.
NiGHTS and Reala Play Grand Theft Auto 5
(opens in a random game store in Nightmare where NiGHTS is looking for a certain game)
NiGHTS: Do you have- Grand Theft Auto 5, do you have it?
Employee: Sorry, we're all sold out.
NiGHTS: You've gotta be kidding, gaah!
{~~~}
*at another game store*
NiGHTS: *runs up to an employee* Do you have Grand Theft Auto 5?
Employee: No, we don't have it. Now get out.
NiGHT: AGGH!
{~~~}
*at another game store*
NiGHTS: Yo, do you have Grand Theft Auto 5?
Employee: Sorry, we're all sold out.
NiGHTS: Ah, God damn it!
{~~~}
*at yet another store*
NiGHTS: Do you have Grand Theft Auto 5? I really need a copy.
Employee: No, unfortunately. We don't have video games, we just have comics. Do you want some comics?
{~~~}
NiGHTS: What am I gonna do? The sketch is due today... this is f***in' awful.
*opens a Wolverine comic book she got from the last store*
NiGHTS: Oh s***.
{~~~}
*back in NiGHTS' room, where NiGHTS is playing Crime Life*
NiGHTS: This isn't as good as Grand Theft Auto 5 I bet. F*** you Crime Life Gang Wars! Ugh... *slams face on table*
*Reala's theme starts playing from NiGHTS' phone*
NiGHTS: Who the f*** is that? *looks at phone* Reala?! *answers* Hello?
Reala: *over the phone* Yo NiGHTS, guess what I got!~
NiGHTS: *annoyed* What do ya got?
Reala: The last copy of GTA5! HA! In your face! I'm coming over right now!
NiGHTS: Agh, No! GOD DAMN IT!
{~~~}
Reala: I GOT IT!
NiGHTS: *annoyed* You got it, you did it. Good job.
Reala: It's like The Wire, Breaking Bad, and The Sopranos all combined into one!
NiGHTS: Uh, ok.
Reala: Just do it!
NiGHTS: I'll do it.
Reala: Install it for better load times!
NiGHTS: Sure, I'll look at this girl- wait. Seven?
Reala: Ten megabytes.
NiGHTS: Thirty. Here comes fifty!
NiGHTS and Reala: YEA!
Reala: FIFTY! Whoo!
NiGHTS: Wait, 7876?
Reala: That's like, what, six megabytes a second?
NiGHTS and Reala: *disapointed* Ooohh.
{~~~}
NiGHTS: You know, Rock Star should really give you some type of paper craft to make while you wait for this to load.
Reala: You know what? ... You're totally right.
NiGHTS: I'm totally right!?
Reala: Like a paper craft of a dead hooker!
NiGHTS: No, paper craft of that Choping dog! Or that guy!
Reala: That dog's name is Chop, I think!
{~~~}
NiGHTS: All right.
Reala: Alright! 7800!
NiGHTS: It's been a long road!
Reala: Elapsed time like, 18 f***ing minutes
NiGHTS: You'll do it Chop! Your image will take us into the Grand Theft Auto world!
Reala: That dog is awesome!
NiGHTS: He's pretty cool.
Game installation screen: ALERT PLEASE INSERT DISC 2.
NiGHTS and Reala: NOOOOOOOO!
Reala: Come ooonn!
NiGHTS: *cries a little* I wanna play the video game!
{~~~}
*game installation is complete*
Reala: *throws up arms* YEAAAH! WHOOOOOO!
{~~~}
*game starts off with a bank robbery*
Reala: It's a good ol' fashioned Christmas robbery.
NiGHTS: It'd be great if I get to play as the teller and not these guys at all!
Reala: *shakes head* No man. Shoot all the civis!
NiGHTS: I'm not gonna do that! I'm not Joel!
Reala: Shoot all the people!
NiGHTS: I can't, the game has not decid-
*NiGHTS starts shooting the hostages by accident*
Reala: *laughs*
NiGHTS: Whoops!
Game screen: MISSION FAILED
NiGHTS: AAH! WHAT HAPPENED!?
Reala: WHAT?!
Game screen: A hostage died.
NiGHTS: OH S*** THAT WAS- WHAT?!
Reala: That's not how you do a professional bank robbery.
NiGHTS: I guess not.
{~~~}
NiGHTS: Oh my God, I'm getting a headache!
Reala: What are they trying to do?! They make me sit here for twenty minutes with my c*** in my hand and I can't even murder someone the second I play the game?!
{~~~}
NiGHTS: Why can't you play Scrouge McDuck in a GTA game?
Reala: Aw yeah, you're just s***in' gold!
NiGHTS: And your posse is Huey, Dewy, and Louie! It's f***in' sick!
{~~~}
*NiGHTS pulls the mask off*
Reala: Don't pull your f***ing mask off you f***ing chode!
NiGHTS: We all have our masks off now, almost!
Reala: Dumbest idea ever!
NiGHTS: Hey you guys said we weren't gonna wear masks so I didn't wear a mask!
Reala: Why do you guys all have Nixon masks on?
NiGHTS: I'M CLINTON! I THOUGHT WE WERE GONNA BE 80s PRESIDENTS!
Reala: I wanna be Barry O the bank robber!
NiGHTS: I'm gonna be Winston!
{~~~}
Reala: I used to live out in the boonies, I had money... no I didn't...
NiGHTS: You did not, I know for a FACT you didn't!
Reala: Before I moved to the big city, I was BROKE!
NiGHTS: You were just a young star, and people promised you things.
Reala: And then they made me get into the van...
{~~~}
Robber: Come on! Let's get to the chopper!
NiGHTS: Gah! There's a chopper too!?
Reala: You gotta get to the chopper man!
NiGHTS: Oh geez...
Robber: We move quick, we can beat the train!
NiGHTS: THERE'S A TRAIN TOO!?
Reala: You can never beat the train! Ever!
NiGHTS: Anytime someone's ever said, 'Let's beat the train' guess what didn't happe-
*NiGHTS hits another car*
NiGHTS: Oh s***!
{~~~}
NiGHTS: DID I MAKE IT?!
*just barely avoids being hit by the train*
NiGHTS: I DID IT!
{~~~}
Reala: Just kill all the police. This games for kids, eh?
NiGHTS: It's for babies.
Reala: When I bought this game, there were tons of kids there.
NiGHTS: There were babies in the line!
Reala: There was this stroller, and in the stroller was just a copy of GTA5!
NiGHTS: *laughs* I thought you were gonna say in the stroller was Chop!
Reala: No, no, no.
NiGHTS: And he's buying GTA5!
Reala: People trading their babies in for this game!
NiGHTS: S***!
Reala: It's Best Buy's new promotion!
NiGHTS: Trade your baby, get GTA5 25% off!
Reala: You're playing GTA5? You're clearly unfit as a parent! So why don't we just take that baby, you'll get double trade in value!
NiGHTS: Would you like to spend 3$ to protect your baby from-
Reala: NO!
*NiGHTS laughs*
Reala: NO!
NiGHTS: *high voice* Mah baby!
{~~~}
NiGHTS: I don't need this hostage I just took!
Reala: What's up with the civilian flail? In everything which a hostage gets away, they put their arms straight up and go *Zoidberg noise*.
NiGHTS: I'm gonna ask you a question, what would you do if you got-
Reala: S*** my pants.
NiGHTS: Well ok. But then you'd be like 'AH I S*** MY PANTS' and start flailing you're arms! *laughs*
{~~~}
*in game funeral*
Reala: No one's gettin' a Dreamcast now.
NiGHTS: *laughs* What?
{~~~}
NiGHTS: Oh I thought you were gonna say they're gonna bury a bunch of Dreamcasts on top of that body.
Reala: Yah man.
{~~~}
NiGHTS: Wow, that's a f***in' shrink if I've ever seen one! *laughs*
Reala: Yep.
{~~~}
Michael: Oh, I'm living the dream baby and that dream is f***ed! It is f***ing f***ed!
NiGHTS: Oh man, he's got some pent up anger issues.
Reala: Look at this guy chew up the scenery!
NiGHTS: Chewing it up! I want this to cut and he's gnawing on the furniture!
Reala: *mocking gnawing sounds*
NiGHTS: *laughs*
{~~~}
Reala: WOW! You know what I just realized?
NiGHTS: What?
Reala: You're gonna fail the f***in' mission in like two seconds if you don't get in that f***ing car!
NiGHTS: Let's see.
*NiGHTS starts driving then the mission failed animation comes up, NiGHTS and Reala laugh*
Reala: *laughing loudly*
NiGHTS: I GOT A HEART ATTACK!
{~~~}
Reala: Drive the car!
NiGHTS: We sleep 18 hours, but we always party 24.
Reala: I sleep a lot lately.
NiGHTS: *laughing*
Reala: I'm pretty tired.
{~~~}
Reala: We never got to talk about that, L.A. IS BULLS***!
NiGHTS: Eh, there were some girls there.
*NiGHTS starts fishtailing*
NiGHTS: Oh look at that! Yeah!
Reala: Fishtailing down the road, who's cool now?
{~~~}
NiGHTS: What was that?
Reala: Go through the Arc de Triumph.
NiGHTS: Right. *laughs*
Reala: Go through it!
NiGHTS: OH GOD, I JUST KILLED HALO!
Reala: Prometheus was overrated.
NiGHTS: Oh geez.
{~~~}
Reala: NiGHTS can you drive?!
NiGHTS: NO, I don't have my license!
Reala: I also don't have my license!
NiGHTS: This is a bad game.
Reala: WHY CAN'T ANY OF US DRIVE!?
NiGHTS: *laughs*
{~~~}
NiGHTS: Ah, my favorite place to chillax, the Vanilla Unicorn.
{~~~}
*NiGHTS is being chased by the cops*
Reala: Come on, Get outta here!
NiGHTS: Am I even going the right way?
Reala: You went on to the f***in' freeway. You'll never run away from the cops-
NiGHTS: They'll never catch me!
Reala: S***!
*NiGHTS drives the car off of an overpass*
NiGHTS: YEAAAAH! *laughs*
Reala: Dude, I'm pretty sure you NEED this car!
NiGHTS: No, I'm gonna use after touch.
Reala: No you're not!
NiGHTS: Yeah, I'm gonna land right on my wheels!
Reala: Come on, be careful!
NiGHTS: RIGHT ON MY WHEELS!
*car lands on its side*
NiGHTS: NOOO!
Reala: *laughs* YOU STUPID IDIOT!
NiGHTS: No, it's fine, it's fine! I failed the stunt jump, but it's good!
Reala: GET THE F*** OUTTA HERE!
{~~~}
NiGHTS: I really need this.
*jacks a motorcycle and runs over the motorist*
Reala: Just die! Just go kill yourself!
NiGHTS: LOOK HOW MUCH BETTER I AM ON THIS BIKE THAN YOU!
Reala: *laughs*
NiGHTS: YOU STUPID IDIOT!
Reala: Run over that guy a couple more times! Make sure it takes!
NiGHTS: Right? So he learns his lesson.
{~~~}
*NiGHTS rolls the bike over the motorist*
Reala: ... This is terrible. Have you noticed that as GTA has gone on, the crime level has escalated to the point where you can just brutally murder someone in the street and it's not even one star?!
{~~~}
Reala: Oh man.
*jumps onto a moving car*
NiGHTS: OH!
Reala: *laughs*
{~~~}
*Reala jumps on some random people on a bus bench, knocks them out*
Reala: BAHAHA! What's up bud! I THINK THESE DUDES ARE DEAD! AND I JUST GOT MONEY FROM THAT!
NiGHTS: Yeah I heard that! Take the money, gotta get the cash, gotta get the dough!
{~~~}
*Reala runs through a construction zone*
Reala: I GOTTA GET OUTTA HERE!
NiGHTS: Remember, the cops can't stop you if you hide under coats.
Reala: *wheezy laugh*
NiGHTS: No, like when you go to a party, and you go to the one bedroom where there's tons of coats?
Reala: There's a girl in there?
NiGHTS: Yeah, you just hide under there, and someone just peels the coats back and they see your face like Kajiro!
{~~~}
*Reala climbs a ladder*
Reala: OH I'M JUMP THE F*** OFF THIS!
NiGHTS: NO, WHY!? You have so much to live for though.
Reala: Nah man, you know what's hood as s***!? Jumping off construction s***! How f***ing tall is this?!
NiGHTS: If Tupac could've, he would've!
Reala: Tupac was like 'Biggie can't do this s***!'
{~~~}
*on top of the crane*
Reala: I'M THE KING OF TH- oh you can see pretty far.
NiGTS: Alright.
*Reala jumps off*
Reala: YEAAAAAAAHHHH!
NiGHTS: *laughs*
Reala: AW YEAH!
*Franklin hits the ground and dies*
NiGHTS and Reala: *laughing*
{~~~}
Reala: Dude you did super s***ty on that mission.
NiGHTS: You didn't do too great yourself.
Reala: Yeah we both worked together to get nowhere!
NiGHTS: *laughs* That's what it takes sometime kids.
{~~~}
Reala: I'm gonna get to that Hummer. Come on Hummer!
NiGHTS: Reala's quest for a Hummer.
Reala: IT'S MINE!
{~~~}
Reala: F*** my life. Recycling isn't even as good as-
NiGHTS: This car's so cool, it's like Knightrider!
Reala: It's the Decepticon car!
NiGHTS: OH IMAGINE IF KNIGHTRIDER WAS A DECEPTICON!
{~~~}
Reala: AH S*** I'M AT TWO STARS!
NiGHTS: Not great.
*Reala crashes the car*
NiGJTS and Reala: S***!
{~~~}
NiGHTS: You're saying a lot of words but I don't think you know what they mean.
Reala: No, I watched 'The Wire', that's all you need right?
NiGHTS: You're gonna base your entire perception of a culture based on 'The Wire'?
Reala: Hey, it's a pretty good show!
NiGHTS: Obama says it's good.
Reala: Obama's like 'I love The Wire, I want Baltimore to never change.'
NiGHTS: *laughs* I will make it my mission that Baltimore never changes!
Reala: And people in Baltimore are like, 'Come on Obama, please.'
{~~~}
*in an ammunition store*
Reala: Just look at all this s***!
NiGHTS: *mimicking the clerk* Ya got yer silencer, yer loudener, yer bandalers, and this is for shooting down police helicopters! *as herself* Well, I don't need anything like that...
NiGHTS and Reala: Yet.
{~~~}
NiGHTS: You're too scared, get the bus!
Reala: No, I can't get the bus.
NiGHTS: Oh s***!
*Reala gets run over*
NiGHTS: OH HO HO HO!
Reala: I just wanna jump into s*** Lamar!
Driver: Wake up! You're in the road!
*Reala tries to jump into the car and fails. Then the mission failed message comes up*
Reala: WHAT!?
NiGHTS: NICE! YOU ARE THE TRUEST GANGSTER!
Reala: The neighborhood was alerted to my antics!
NiGHTS: Your dumb bulls***!
{~~~}
NiGHTS: Wait for Tonya~ TONYA!
Reala: Get that ass in the f***ing truck!
NiGHTS: TONYA!
{~~~}
NiGHTS: These thing happen.
Reala: Life is hard.
NiGHTS: It's not easy.
Reala: Sometimes you gotta put d***s in your mouth to make ends meet. Sometimes you got to make ends meet to make ends meet! Ya know what I'm sayin'?
NiGHTS: NO!
Reala: Ah f*** this!
NiGHTS: Yeah, I'm not putting that in...
Reala: *laughing* That's what she said!
NiGHTS: No, she didn't say that!
Both: *laughing hard*
{~~~}
NiGHTS: There's an alley, I need an alley.
*NiGHTS turns onto some train tracks*
Reala: NO THAT'S THE TRAIN TRACKS! YOU'RE GONNA ALERT THE POLICE!
NiGHTS: OH, OH GOD!
Reala: YOU IDIOT!
NiGHTS: Oh, it's fine.
*NiGHTS hits the train, gets thrown back a bit*
NiGHTS: S***!
Reala: OH THAT COP CAR'S GETTING OWNED!
NiGHTS: OH MY GOD!
*cop car explodes killing Franklin. Then the mission failed message appears*
NiGHTS and Reala: *laughing hysterically*
NiGHTS: SORRY TONYA!
LTP: AND THAT IS A WRAP!
Wheatley: That was pretty funny!
LTP: WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE!?
Wheatley: This whole thing you've got going on looks quite interesting, so I thought I'd stick around for a bit.
*LTP pushes Wheatley towards the 'Hall of Universes' door*
LTP: No, you are going back to your universe weather you like it or not. Besides, we've already got a blue eyed antagonist with a British accent and he's a thousand times more awesome than you.
*LTP shoves Wheatley into the Hall of Universes and locks the door*
NiGHTS: Aren't you going to return the portal gun too?
LTP: Nah, I figured we could get into some crazy shenanigans with this thing. *turns to the camera* Anyway, see ya'll next time!
~on the first day of Christmas, my readers sent to me, a nice review for the story~