LTP: I'm not feeling very random today, so let's just jump right into this.
Disclaimer: LTP does not own NiGHTS into Dreams, NiGHTS Journey of Dreams, or Dick Figures. Enjoy.
Trouble Date
(At a Nightmare French restaurant, Le Food, Reala and NiGHTS are seated at a table)
NiGHTS: This is such a nice restaurant. French cuisine? You're so cultural, Reala.
Reala: ¡Gracias!
NiGHTS: What's your favorite dish?
Reala: *picks up the menu* Oh, you know! All the hits like, Beef "Borgnonion" (Bourguignon) and, uh, French Onion "Sop" (Soup).
NiGHTS: I didn't know you spoke French!
Reala: Konichiwa.
*camera pans to Clawz, who is seated near them*
Clawz: Wwwhaaat?!
*camera pans back to Reala and NiGHTS*
Reala: When I was in Paris, I had the most delicious bowl of- S***!
*Jackle kicks down the door and trots in carrying a hot pink female Nightmaren while making out with her*
NiGHTS: *referring to what Reala was saying* Oh, is that a French dish?
Reala: Uh... it- it means salmon...
NiGHTS: *suspicious* You had a bowl of salmon?
Jackle: *off-screen* Hey, Reala!
Reala: Oh, no...
Jackle: ~I just got a new girlfriend!~
*Jackle points at the hot pink Nightmaren, who leans on him, then points at the NiGHTS*
Jackle: ~Who's that? That's your new girlfriend!~
*points at Puffy, who is seated right behind them*
Jackle: I told you to go home.
*sad music plays as Puffy walks away*
Reala: *music stops* Oh, uh, this is NiGHTS.
Jackle: And this is... what's your name?
Hot pink Nightmaren: *ditsy voice* My name's Stacy!
*Stacy leans on the table while Jackle leans back a little, looking at her butt*
Jackle: Really?!
*Jackle sits next to Reala*
Jackle: Hi.
Reala: Dude! You're ruining our first date, get the f*** out of here!
Jackle: Yeah, right! Someone's getting laid tonight. *In whisper* It's me! Up top!
French Nightmaren waiter: *sets a plate of food on the table* Bon appétit.
Stacy: You kiss your mouth with that motheeer?!
Reala: *to NiGHTS* I'm so sorry.
NiGHTS: *glares at Reala*
French Nightmaren waiter: *sets a plate of oysters on the table* Your oysters, monsieur.
*Jackle picks up an oyster.*
Reala: Uh, buddy, that's my dinner...
*Jackle and Stacy look at each other seductively. Jackle opens the oyster shell and sticks his tongue out.*
Reala: Jackle, what are you doing?!
*Jackle rubs the oyster all over his face*
Reala: Oh, Wizeman, that's gross! Aah...
Stacy: *pulls out a baguette*
Reala: No!
Stacy: *starts putting the baguette in her mouth*
NiGHTS: *staring with shock* Ew...
Jackle: *pupils shrink* The whole loaf!
Stacy: *swallows it whole*
NiGHTS: Ugh!
*Jackle devours Reala and NiGHTS' ice cream, which resembles two breasts*
Reala: Aaand there goes our romantic dessert.
*Jackle chuckles with his mouth full*
Stacy: Oh, baby. *grabs the table's candle*
Reala: Oh, what are you doing?
*Stacy starts licking the candle upward*
Reala: Oh, no! Oh, No! OH NO! Aaaah!
*Stacy blows the flame onto the floral centerpiece*
Reala: All right, THAT'S IT-!
*Jackle and Stacy grab each other and make out on the table, which is now on fire*
NiGHTS: *sighs* Take me home.
Stacy: Oh, take me home! *continues making out with Jackle*
Jackle: Oh, yeah! Let's go have sex in Reala's bed!
*Jackle and Stacy get catch fire*
Reala: Check please.
LTP: *uses a fire extinguisher on Jackle* Thank God for fireproof gel.
~Reviews please!