THIS CHAPTER IS BOOK 4 EPISODE 2 SPOILERS:

A/N: Alright, I messed up the previous chapter because Korra can't enter the Avatar State and apparently she wasn't a regular fighter in the arena and she was fighting a vision (or a spirit, who knows). So my story will vary a bit from the original in a few details and stray away where I feel like (but not too far). This fic has become a dumping ground for all my ideas and feelings as the season progresses, just felt I needed to explain that.

Enjoy!

"You seem to know your place in the world," the woman in the reception said with a wicked grin. "Getting beaten down until you can't stand up anymore."

That was funny. Seriously. There was nothing remotely humorous about the situation yet Korra felt like laughing at herself and everything that had happened. But on the outside she kept her stiff expression like an airship struggling to keep afloat, fighting to keep up.

"I wish."

Upon leaving the woman who owned the small arena, Korra went in search for a water source. She needed to relieve the pain. Though unable to feel the full hurt due to her impaired senses, she figured it must be bad when it felt the way it did. The crane whistled on and let a weak stream of water out. It flowed strangely out of the deformed tap, like a slow river ending in a huge waterfall. She looked up. Once again she felt like laughing in her own face. What she saw perfectly resembled how everyone, including herself, felt about her. The cracks in the mirror formed so impeccably over her features, you'd think it was intentional.

Gazing down once again, Korra focused on healing.

Just like old times. Korra loved to fight. And now finally she could, and she couldn't wait to show Tenzin the progress she'd made. This time she wasn't fighting for her firebending test though, she was only fighting for herself. Korra felt happy and smiled like it was nothing. This was as close as she could get to the time before she ever left for Republic City. Before she became afraid, before she met... Zaheer. The grin on her face vanished as quickly as it had appeared. Her steps became sluggish and she faltered, striking blindly at whatever was attacking her, knocking her down so she couldn't get back up. She punched wildly around at whatever was pushing her down and not leaving her alone until it was sure she would never rise again.

"Alright! The sparring match is over!" Tenzin hollered at her assailants.

Shameful. Pitiful. Korra couldn't bear to look at anyone as she got back up with the help of her former Master. "I thought I was ready."

"There is no shame in taking the time you need to make a full recovery," Tenzin stated. "Being the Avatar can wait."

Tenzin watched as Korra lifted her head and stared at him with full blue eyes. He almost feared she would lash out like she usually did so many months ago. Instead she responded; "What about the Earth Kingdom?" Maybe time alone was good for her, she certainly had learned restraint. Or was he mistaken? Was there some other reason she didn't fully become angered? Either way he was in awe like always when the first concern Korra had was of other people. "I hear it's still a mess out there."

"The situation has been stabilizing since Kuvira took charge."

"But that should be me out there fixing things, not her."

"I know you want to help," Tenzin said. Please let me help you. "But trust me, everyone has this under control. I just think you need to-" the old airbending master trailed off.

"If you say be patient I swear I'm gonna watersmack you in the mouth," Korra spat.

"No... I was- going to say you need to... not worry about the future. Be grateful for where you are now and the progress you've made." Tenzin said as he saw the signature pout grow on his former student's mouth. He couldn't help but feel disappointed. Not at her, but at himself. She left all of them in such good places. Her friends, her family, the airnation. And here she was. Their Avatar who had sacrificed so much and let the lives she touched move on with greatness, was left in the dust, alone and hurt and lost and broken.

"I wanna go back to Republic City."

Tonraq and Senna looked at each other with baffled faces. But they were waiting for this and couldn't contain themselves almost.

"Are you sure?" Korra's mother asked.

"I know I'm not a hundred percent yet," she replied. "But I feel like I've hit a wall. I need to be where the action is; where my friends are."

As their daughter said this, they could swear they saw a glint of familiar hope in her azure eyes. The two of them shared a confirming gaze before Tonraq turned to his expectant child. "I'll have the White Lotus prepare a boat. And they can take you back to Republic City as soon as you're ready."

"No. I wanna go alone. And have some time to clear my head, it'll be good for me."

Blinded by their daughters brilliant initiative for recovery, as they waved her off they had no second thoughts about whether Korra really would be better off alone.

Because this was too similar like before. Where Korra had been content fighting, being isolated was not. Afraid that she'd make no more progress from here, she ran away.

Stepping out of the poorly maintained bathroom, Korra took in her surroundings. The banners strewn about the Metal Clan colony flapped synchronized in the air. Its images periodically untangled and revealed themselves like a fireferret playing dead and then re-animating. Between the wrinkled fabric one could see the icon of the Metal Clan and on one of them was a magnificent picture of Kuvira. The girl who saved her father. That girl who was now doing her job alongside the airbenders. Korra quickly diverted her eyes into the ground, something irked in the back of her mind like a leach. She could almost imagine Amon's face on the banner. As she did so her eye beat heavily in the middle of her face. She saw something else too. The Phoenix King.

She was so deep in thought that the green-clad woman nearly missed the emergency honking of a panicked man in his Satomobile heading straight for impact. Korra dropped and rolled out of the way just in time, but the sudden exertion left her nauseous and disoriented. Out of nowhere, a tingling cold spread on her bare arms like snowfall and she looked up. What she saw made her want to flee to safety, wherever that was. How much longer could she keep this up? It would be so easy to just disappear for a hundred years she thought.

Throwing only one punch before violently crashing to the ground, Korra was met with the icy-cold stare of emotionless glowing eyes.

"Leave me alone!" she shouted and thrust all her remaining energy into the strike.

"Young lady, are you alright?" an elderly woman asked. "Can I take you to a doctor?"

"No. I-I don't need any help."

Korra ran as hard as her still-fragile legs allowed her to. Anywhere but the alleyway was better. Bugs and spirits alike crowded around street lights as Korra passed them by, and she did so without risking a glance. If she did she might trip and not be able to get up again, or she might lose focus and get run over for real. Not long after sprinting all out was Korra winded. Already?

As if on cue, she showed up again.

But Korra wasn't running anymore. "I'm ending this."

For the third time that day did Korra feel like laughing out loud like a crazy. She was about to die, yet something about everything that happened to her was ironic. Because now she was living the last moments of her foe before he crashed to the ground for the last time. Her grip was slipping and she prepared to be swallowed up by the cold poison.

And the last thing that left Korra's mouth, for the first time in 3 years, as panicked and desperate as the Avatar could possibly sound, she shouted with all her might. "Help me!"

"Good to see you again twinkletoes."

There were no words for the feeling that completely eradicated Korra's heart. She stood before one of the few people in the world who knew Aang, and it was her fault he was gone. Her knees trembled and succumbed to the overpowering weight. Yet there were no tears. Korra didn't feel worthy of crying, or to stand in front of the greatest earthbender in the world.

"Korra right?" Toph inquired. "Look, I don't blame you."

The brown girl looked up from her low position.

Toph continued, "They didn't disappear for nothing."

What is that supposed to mean?

"You're still here aren't you? The Avatar cycle isn't over, even though you lost all your previous lives," Toph reassured, but the words stung deeply into Korra. "When you opened the portals you changed the world. It isn't your fault the world reacted the way it did to these changes. That is why you are here in the first place, to bring balance. A new age requires a new Avatar. Everything that the Avatar used to mean is no longer completely true. It doesn't matter what you were told as a child. You aren't Aang, you aren't Roku, and you aren't Kyoshi. You are Korra, and you will never fall irrelevant to the world. Only the world can become irrelevant to you. That is the most dangerous thing that can happen; if the Avatar chooses to ignore the world then all will be lost. You can't know why things occur the way they do. All you can do is to accept them, and move on. Some find comfort in thinking that everything happens for a reason. Whatever you do, know that you are not alone."

A/N #2: Sorry if this chapter was so jumpy, I just needed to get this out. My theory is that Toph will guide Korra through unlocking her chakras to be able to enter the Avatar State once again. Starting with the earth chakra ;)

Thanks for reading!