NiGHTS: ... What's with LTP?

*camera pans over to show LTP repeatedly banging her head against the wall. Jackle's trying to pry her away from the wall while Reala watches with a bag of popcorn*

Reala: Oh her? She's just aggravated because apparently there's only been one review in the last six weeks.

LTP: *chucks a shoe at Reala* Shut up Reala, I know you're enjoying watching me inflict harm to myself!

Reala: You know it!

Jackle: She's been in a bad mood about it all week, too. The other day she threw some raw onions at Wizeman for bumping into her.

NiGHTS: So I wasn't seeing things when I saw Wizeman crying that day.

LTP: *stops banging her head* You know I can hear you all, but quite frankly, I just don't give a s***. *sighs* Let's just get on with this already. Reala, you do the disclaimer, and just f***ing do it this time. I'm in no mood for your bulls***.

Reala: Fine. LTP doesn't own NiGHTS into Dreams, NiGHTS Journey of Dreams, or any of the following references.

Random Drabbles 3

(opens in Jackle's room)

Jackle: What about the ability to know if a movie's crappy, just by looking at its cover?

LTP: *dramatic narrator voice* The ability to know if a movie's crappy just by looking at its cover!

*Reala walks up to Jackle with a movie in hand*

Reala: Hey, I just got that new 'Speed Racer' movie.

Jackle: NNOOOOOO WIZEMAN!

*Jackle slaps movie out of Reala's hand*

Jackle: NO WIZEMAN, PLEASE NO! NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-

{~~~}

(opens at the Dream Gate where NiGHTS is chasing down a low level 'Maren*

NiGHTS: DON'T F***ING RUN AWAY FROM ME! I'LL END YOU!

*Nightmaren somehow manages to get away from NiGHTS and is currently hiding from her*

NiGHTS: WHERE'D YOU F***ING GO!? YOU SON OF A B****!

*NiGHTS looks around the Dream Gate but can't find the Nightmaren*

NiGHTS: F***!

Owl: *nearly crapping himself* Oh dear, it's that time of the month again...

{~~~}

(Marmite finds the pony)

Helen: Marmite, have you seen my pony?

Marmite: Yes.

Helen: :D

Marmite: I ate him.

Helen: *cries*

(Marmite makes a new friend)

Chamelon: Marmite, why does no one like you?

*Marmite sets Chamelon on fire*

Chamelon: Oh yeah.

(Marmite gives directions)

*Donbalon drives a car*

Donbalon: *on the phone* Hey! Uh, how do I get to your place again?

*silence*

Donbalon: Okay, thanks. *hangs up*

*Donbalon drives his car into the side of a building*

(Marmite gives moral support)

Wizeman: Jackle, I'm giving you a promotion!

Jackle: :D

LTP: Marmite.

Wizeman: Yep, now you're fired!

Jackle: :(

(Marmite saves the day)

Reala: Honey I'm ho- *opens door, eyes bug out* MARMITE! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?

*camera shows Marmite in bed with a scared and confused NiGHTS*

Marmite: I'm sleeping with your wife, Reala.

Reala: Uh... Yeah... You are...

(Marmite is terrible)

{~~~}

(opens on the stage in Memory Forest, Jackle sings 'Literal Pants')

Jackle: ~And now he burns! Fire, fire, fire! He's highly flammable!~

Reala: Hello Jackle, I'm right behind you.

Jackle: AND NOW I'M YELLING AT YOU!

{~~~}

(opens in NiGHTS' home)

NiGHTS: *exhales* Boy, that escalated quickly. I mean that really got out of hand fast.

Reala: He jumped up a notch.

NiGHTS: It did, didn't it?

Jackle: Yeah, I stabbed a 'Maren in the heart!

NiGHTS: I saw that. Jackle killed a guy! Did you throw a trident?

Jackle: Yeah, there were horses, and a 'Maren on fire, and I killed a guy with a trident!

NiGHTS: Jackle I've been meaning to talk to you about that. You should find yourself a safe house or a relative close by. Lay low for a while because you're probably wanted for murder.

{~~~}

(opens in the kitchen mentioned earlier where Reala is cleaning the counter when Jackle walks up)

Jackle: Check it out dude!

*Jackle pulls out a DVD*

Jackle: I just got this sweet episode of Pokemon that apparently gave a bunch of kids seizures!

Reala: I don't know.

Jackle: Come on man, let's watch it! It'll be hilarious!

(20 minutes later)

Jackle: *on the floor having a seizure*

{~~~}

(Opens in Reala's room, Where NiGHTS is looking for Reala)

NiGHTS: Hello? Reala?

Reala:*from the bathroom* ~I'm a buff Ree-Ree, that can dance like a man!~

*NIGHTS peeks in through the crack in the door and sees Reala singing and dancing in front of a mirror. Reala's only wearing his black shirt*

Reala: ~ I can shake'a my fanny, I can shake'a my can! I'm a tough tootin' Ree-Ree, I can punch'a yo buns! Punch'a yo buns! I can punch all your buns! If you're a Visitor I will punch you for fun!~

NiGHTS: Pffht! *steps away from the door giggling*

{~~~}

(opens on one of LTP's sets)

LTP: Hey Jackle, Is it me or does NiGHTS seem really angry for some reason?

Jackle: What makes you say that?

*camera pans over to NiGHTS yelling at a surprisingly scared Wizeman*

NiGHTS: YOU ARE A F***ING PIECE OF S***!

Jackle: *face pales* Oh crap, it's THAT time again...

LTP: What'cha talkin' about? *eyes widen in realization* Wait, you don't mean-

NiGHTS: *notices LTP and Jackle staring at her* WHAT THE F*** ARE YOU LOOKING AT!?

LTP: Oh s***!

Jackle: *whimpers*

NiGHTS: *flies up to LTP and Jackle* DON'T F***ING STARE AT ME!

LTP: Okay NiGHTS, just calm down...

NiGHTS: *gets in LTP's and Jackle's faces* F*** YOU! *flies away*

LTP: ... Jackle?

Jackle: ... Yeah?

LTP: Remind me to never piss off NiGHTS when she's PMSing.

Jackle: Dually noted.

{~~~}

(opens in a room with Jackle, Reala, and one of the Goodle riding Nightmaren)

Jackle: What do ya say we interview you?

Reala: All right, that's a sometimes useful exercise. Go ahead.

Jackle: Okay, here's a shot out of a cannon! Oprah!

Goodle Rider: *holds up a picture of Oprah Winfrey*

Jackle: Barbra Walters!

Goodle Rider: *holds up a picture of Barbra Walters*

Jackle: Your wife!

Goodle Rider: *holds up a picture of NiGHTS*

Jackle: You gotta f*** one, marry one, kill one! GO!

Reala: *annoyed glare*

{~~~}

(opens in Delight City)

Jackle: It says here we should work in teams. Who wants to be my spotter?

NiGHTS: I don't think you should be doing too much gambling tonight Jackle.

Jackle: Gambling? Who said anything about gambling? It's not gambling when you know you're gonna win! Counting cards is a foolproof system!

Reala: It's also illegal.

Jackle: It's not illegal, it's frowned upon like... masturbating on an airplane.

Reala: I'm pretty sure that's illegal too.

Jackle: Yeah, maybe after 911, where everybody gets insensitive. Thanks a lot Bin Laden.

NiGHTS: Either way, you gotta be super smart to count cards buddy. Okay?

Jackle: Oh really?

NiGHTS: It's not easy.

Jackle: Ok, well maybe we should tell that to Rain Man 'cause he practically bankrupted a casino, and he was a re-tard.

Reala: What?

Jackle: He was a re-tard.

{~~~}

(opens in a hall way where NiGHTS knocks on the door to Reala's room)

Reala: *opens door* Oh, hello NiGHTS. How are you today?

NiGHTS: I'M GOING TO RAPE YOU!

Reala: Wait, what!?

*NiGHTS tackles Reala into his room, sound of the door locking is heard*

LTP: ... Yeah, let's just end it off here. BTW, the parts where NiGHTS was yelling a lot was from the video with the angry cat guy. Now if you'll excuse me, I'll be going back to my self-inflicted harm. *goes back to banging her head against the wall*

Jackle: *tries to pull LTP away from the wall* LTP, come on. I'm sure someone will review the show this week.

LTP: *skeptically* Yeah right. Just leave me to my self-inflicted harm Jackle. *continues banging head against wall*

NiGHTS: *sighs* Someone, please send a review before LTP gives herself a concussion.

*LTP smashes her head through the wall*

NiGHTS: *sweatdrop* Okay scratch that, someone send a review before LTP puts herself in the hospital!

LTP: FINLAND!