Owl: Hoo hoot! Where is everyone?
LTP: Owl, everyone's on the set preparing for their scenes, I'm surprised you didn't realize this. Speaking of which, I need to get to the set too, I've got a few parts in this episode. *walks away*
Owl: *sighs* guess I'll go back to the Dream Gate then, hoot!
*Owl flies past the door to The Hall of Universes, then backtracks*
Owl: Hmm, how long has that door been there? *goes through the door*
Disclaimer: LTP doesn't own NiGHTS into Dreams, NiGHTS Journey of Dreams, or any of the following snippets below.
Random Drabbles 4
(opens in the kitchen from chapter 5, Reala is sitting at the table reading a newspaper, The Nightmaren Times, then NiGHTS walks up to Reala with a tower of waffles)
NiGHT: GUESS WHO MADE WAFFLES!?
Reala: I'm not going to eat tha-
NiGHTS: *goes cross eyed* AAAAHH! AAAAAAAHHH! AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!
Reala: ENOUGH! I will try some already! *takes a bite* Hey, these aren't bad, what's in them?
NiGHTS: There's waffle in 'em!
Reala: *gets in NiGHTS' face* YOU'RE LYING!
{~~~}
Jackle: Hello, I'd like to order french fries, a burger and a milkshake!
Librarian 'Maren: This is a library.
Jackle: *looks around then whispers* I'd like to order french fries, a burger and a milkshake.
{~~~}
(opens on one of LTP's sets, after the Paranormal Easy Bake Oven episode)
Easy Bake Oven: This is ridiculous guys! I work my ass off on this set, and I can't even get a glass of water!? THIS IS BS! I KNOW I CAN'T DRINK WATER 'CAUSE I'M A FRIGGIN' OVEN, I UNDERSTAND THAT, BUT I STILL DEMAND IT! RIGHT! NOW! SO YOU BETTER GIVE ME A WATER!
*NiGHTS walks away*
Easy Bake Oven: YOU! OVER THERE! NO, DON'T YOU JUST WALK AWAY! DON'T YOU WALK AWAY! I AM A STAR HERE! I- JUS- I GAH! Okay guys, I'll give you one more chance before I'm calling my lawyer! And I'm gonna get him, and he's gonna sue all your asses for being little douche knockers to me! I'M GONNA PUT YOU IN MY OVEN AND I'M GONNA FRY YOUR ASS LITERALLY AND FIGURATIVELY! WHERE'S THE DIRECTOR!? I NEED TO SPEAK WITH HER RIGHT NOW AND IF I DON'T SPEAK WITH HER, I'M GONNA COOK SOME REALLY DISGUSTING COOKIES FOR HER! IT'S GONNA TASTE LIKE HITLER'S ASS! GEEZ YOU GUYS ARE AMETUERS! I'M SICK OF WORKING WITH YOU STUPID AMETUERS! I AM A PROFESSIONAL, THAT'S WHY I'M GETTING THE EIGHT DOLLARS AN HOUR!
*Reala runs up to the Easy Bake Oven*
Reala: YOU SHUT UP! I AM SICK OF YOUR CONSTANT B****ING!
Easy Bake Oven: WHAT!?
Reala: Alright, let's go have a little talk!
Easy Bake Oven: HEY WAIT, WHAT'RE YOU DOING!?
*Reala grabs the Easy Bake Oven and carries it outside, then he throws it in the garbage can*
Easy Bake Oven: YOU'RE GONNA BE SPEAKING TO MY LAWYER YOU LITTLE PUNK!
*Reala takes out a gun and shoots the Easy Bake Oven seven times, then proceeds to go back inside*
Easy Bake Oven: ... I'M STILL ALIVE YOU LITTLE P****!
*Reala pops up from behind the fence and shoots the Easy Bake Oven eight more times over the fence*
LTP: *claps hands* Thank you Reala, that guy was annoying the piss outta me and everyone else.
{~~~}
(opens in a random room in Nightmare castle)
Selph: *points at Reala* I'm challenging you Reala.
Reala: To what game?
Selph: Dance Dance Revolution.
Reala: That's great Selph, but we don't have Dance Dance Revolution, so... you're dumb.
{~~~}
(opens in the rec. room where Reala and Jackle play Halo)
*Jackle's in-game avatar walks up to Reala's*
Jackle: Hey Reala?
Reala: Yeah?
Jackle: Do you notice something different in this game?
Reala: What, you mean the little kid who probably doesn't know what sex is yet he's firing off the word 'f*****' like a homophobic machine gun?
*cuts to a random player*
Kid Player: F*****! F*****! F*****! F*****! F*****! F*****!F***-
*cuts back to Reala and Jackle*
Jackle: No, that's normal.
Reala: The MLG idiot who hordes all the power weapons and yet still manages to suck?
*cuts to another random player*
MLG Player: *breathing heavily, then gets blown up* Doh, LAG!
*cuts back to Reala and Jackle*
Jackle: Nah, that too.
Reala: Then what is it?
Jackle: There's a girl on X-box Live!
*cuts to NiGHTS' in-game avatar, Kid Player, MLG Player and Wimpy Player run up to her*
Kid Player: *runs in circles while still screaming 'F*****' over and over*
MLG Player: HEY BABY, YOU WANT A REAL MAN WHO'S GOOD AT MLG!? *gets in Wimpy Player's face* HEY BACK OFF S*** POWDER, I SAW HER FIRST!
Wimpy Player: No, I'm sensitive, that means I own her!
MLG Player: THAT'S IT! YOU WANT AN ASS KICKING!?
*Wimpy Player kills MLG Player*
MLG Player: F***ING LAG!
Wimpy Player: Dude, you suck at this game!
*cuts to Reala and Jackle on the couch as they try to stifle their laughter as NiGHTS, who decided to join in, deals with the stupidity of the immature losers*
NiGHTS: ... You guys are ass****s.
{~~~}
(opens in some bar where NiGHTS finds Reala, who is slumped over the counter, drunk and is wearing a woman's hat with a flower on it for some reason*
NiGHTS: *walks up to Reala* Reala, hey Reala are you okay?
Reala: *bolts upright* GONE! *sniffles* It's all gone. All of its gone, bye-bye, whoo hoo, see ya!
NiGHTS: What happened to you?
Reala: One minute you're Wizeman's right hand 'Maren, *slams hand on counter* and suddenly your suckin' down alcohol with *whispers while pointing at nothing* Marie Antoinette and her little sister. *drunken chuckling*
NiGHTS: ... I think you've had enough booze for today. *takes glass from Reala* Let's get you outta here Ree. *tries to walk Reala away from the bar*
Reala: *gets in NiGHTS' face* DON'T YOU GET IT!? YOU SEE THE HAT?! *points at the hat* I AM MS. NESBIT! *drunken cackling*
NiGHTS: SNAP OUT OF IT REE! *slaps Reala across the face*
{~~~}
(opens in some random decrepit house somewhere in Nightmare, Reala and Jackle have hardhats on)
Jackle: Alright Reala, I'm gonna go up to the upper level and run this wire down through the wall. Grab your walkie, I'll call you when I get up there.
Reala: Okay.
*Jackle makes it to the second floor and calls Reala*
Jackle: *over the walkie* Reala pick up, over.
Reala: What?
Jackle: Reala, please say 'over' when you're finished talking, over.
Reala: *sighs* What? Over.
Jackle: Do you see the wire yet? Over.
Reala: No.
Jackle: Noo what? Over.
Reala: No, over.
Jackle: Okay, I'm gonna start feeding it through, over.
Reala: Wait, if you haven't started feeding it, why'd you ask me if I could see it?
Jackle: Didn't copy that, over.
Reala: I said why'd you ask me if I could see it if you haven't started feeding it, over.
Jackle: Oh that's better, I can hear you now, over. Do you see it yet? Over.
Reala: You know, you're a jackass. For the record, I don't wanna hang out with you anymore when this is over.
Jackle: When this is what, Reala? Over.
Reala: I said I don't wanna hang out with you anymore when this is over.
Jackle: When this is what? You gotta finish your sentence, over.
Reala: That's it, my sentence is over!
Jackle: Your sentence is what Reala? Over.
Reala: MY SENTENCE IS- wait a minute, I have to say over even if the sentence ends with the word over?
Jackle: Ends with the word what, Reala? Over.
*wire comes down*
Reala: Oh, I see the wire.
Jackle: You see the wire what? Over.
Reala: OVER! *yanks the wire down and pulls Jackle down from the second floor*
Jackle: GAAH! *lands face first on the ground*
{~~~}
(opens in the Nightmare castle cafeteria)
Chamelon: *sniffles* I love them so much!
Reala: You love who?
Chamelon: The girls at Madame Puffy's Nightmaren Palace!
Reala: ...You've been spending our rent money on Nightmaren hookers?
Chamelon: They're not hookers! They're massage therapists.
Jackle: They'll massage your c*** for money.
Selph: There's a word for that, I think it's hooker.
Chamleon: YOU'RE A HOOKER!
Selph: O.O
{~~~}
(opens in the living room, where Jackle runs around really fast. Then Reala walks in)
Reala: Whoa, nice! So you finally used that speed hack I told you about, huh?
Jackle: *eyes wide* Nope! I just smoked a s*** ton of meth!
LTP: ~Meth, way better than hack-
*cuts to Jackle wearing a suit and tie, and is actually serious for once*
Jackle: Hi. You just saw a sketch where we made the use of Methamphetamine seem funny. It is not. Methamphetamine will ruin your life. And you should never take-
LTP: *dramatic voice* BIG HEAD HACK!
*suddenly, Jackle's head becomes larger than the rest of his body*
Jackle: Damn it Reala! This is supposed to be a serious frickin' segment!
*Reala laughs in the background*
LTP: HACKED!
LTP: And that's a wrap!
*Kaepora Gaebora flies in*
Kae Gae: Hoo Hoot!
LTP: ...
NiGHTS, Reala, and Jackle: Oh s***!
LTP: *eye twitches then screams in demonic voice* WHO THE F*** LET YOU IN HERE!?
Owl: *oblivious* Oh LTP, I see you've met my cousin!
NiGHTS: *whispers* Owl!
*Owl looks over to see NiGHTS, Reala and Jackle hiding behind an overturned table*
NIGHTS: *still whispering* Owl, you're in the danger zone! Get out of there now!
*LTP pulls a machine gun from out of nowhere and aims it at a terrified Kae Gae as NiGHTS quickly grabs Owl and dives back behind the table*
LTP: DIE MOTHER F***ER! *laughs like a madman as she unleashes a barrage of bullets upon Kae Gae*
Reala: Alright, who's the moron that let that damn owl in here?!
NiGHTS: Owl, you said Kaepora was your cousin right? Please tell me you didn't let him in here.
Owl: I did, but I didn't think LTP would react like this...
NiGHTS: Owl! Kae Gae is hated by most of the people in the gamer's community, including LTP!
Reala: Mostly due his constant blathering in 'Ocarina of Time'! *grabs Owl from NiGHTS and shakes him* You've doomed us all!
Jackle: *peeking over the table* Is anyone else turned on by this?
*Reala, NiGHTS and Owl all stare at Jackle in awkward silence, save for LTP's mad laughter and machine gun in the background*
Jackle: ... What?
LTP: WHO WANTS FRIED OWL!?