LTP: HEY EVERYBODY! Today's episode will be featuring *takes a out a black book* THE DEATH NOTE! And it's "owner" shall be none other than our beloved psychopath, Jackle!
Reala: Jackle? With the Death Note!? Wizeman help us all...
LTP: Relax Reala, it's not a real Death Note. I might be a demented psycho b**** at times, but I'm not crazy enough to do that!
Reala: And yet you smashed your head through a wall made of solid concrete at least twice.
LTP: Hehe that was fun!
Reala: ...
NiGHTS: LTP, Didn't you say there was going to be a guest star today?
LTP: Oh yeah! That's right! Our guest star today is none other than Ryuk the Shinigami from the anime series 'Death Note'!
*Ryuk flies in looking completely bad ass*
Ryuk: Hello mortals.
LTP: Hell yeah! Bad assery at it's finest. Alright, let's get to the disclaimer and start the show!
Ryuk: As you wish. LTP doesn't own NiGHTS into Dreams, NiGHTS Journey of Dreams, Death Note or Smosh.
Blah = talking
Blah = thinking
Real Death Note
(opens in Downtown Nightmare, where Jackle is wandering around bored out of his mind)
Jackle: I'm so bored! I just wish something supernatural would happen right now.
*A Death Note falls from the sky and lands at Jackle's feet*
Jackle: What the hell? *picks up Death Note and opens it* If you write the full name of a person in this book, That person will die in five seconds. The cause of death will always be suffocation? Heh, right.
Female Nightmaren: Let go! Help!
*Jackle looks over and sees a evilly laughing Nightmaren riding on a Rascal, wearing old timey villain outfit, as he tries to steal the Female Nightmaren's purse*
Female Nightmaren: This 'Maren's trying to steal my purse! LET GO!
*the Nightmaren on the Rascal yanks the purse out of the Female 'Maren's hand and takes off on his Rascal*
Cecil Adams: The name's Cecil Adams! The most notorious handicapped bandit of Nightmare! *continues laughing diabolically*
Jackle: Huh. Let's see. *takes out a pen and starts writing the Nightmaren's name* Cecil Adams.
Cecil Adams: *laughs so hard he starts coughing*
Jackle: *looking at his Spongebob wristwatch as five seconds pass* Man, I knew it was fake.
Cecil Adams: *suddenly gasps and starts to choke himself*
Jackle: *gasps* No way!
*Cecil continues to choke himself until he leans forward, dead. The Rascal keeps on going until it hits a tree, where it explodes a little and catches fire*
Jackle: *gasps*
*two random 'Maren pass by Cecil Adams' body*
Random 'Maren 1: Did that guy just choke himself to death?
Random 'Maren 2: Cool, didn't think that was possible.
Jackle: *looks at the Death Note* Sweet mother of Wizeman!
(later, back at Nightmare Castle, Jackle tells Reala and another Nightmaren named Peter what happened)
Reala: So, you write any person's name in that thing, and they die?
Jackle: Of suffocation.
Peter: Like they suffocate themselves?
Jackle: Yeah, in any way possible, I guess.
Reala: I thought it was impossible to suffocate yourself.
Peter: Yeah! Why don't you prove it? Write my name in there!
Jackle: Um, okay. *takes out his pen* Alright Peter, what's your last name?
Peter: Peter.
Jackle: ... No, your last name.
Peter: Peter.
Reala: So... your full name is Peter Peter?
Peter: Wizeman was drunk when he created me.
Reala and Jackle: Ooohh.
Jackle: Okay, Peter Peter. *writes Peter's full name in the Death Note* There we go. *closes the Death Note*
*sound of a clock ticking is heard as five seconds pass. Reala looks bored, Jackle stares intensely at his watch, and Peter looks nervous. Then awkward silence as nothing happens*
Peter: I knew you guys were full of sh- *suddenly starts to choke himself*
*Reala and Jackle start freaking out*
Reala: OH MY WIZEMAN!
Peter: *choking* Make it stop!
Jackle: Uh... *frantically flips through the Death Note* I don't-I don't know if I can!
*Peter makes a few more choking sounds before leaning back against the couch, dead*
Reala: *still freaking out* Oh my Wizeman! Dude, you gotta get rid of that thing!
Jackle: No! Don't you get it Reala? With this book, I can change the Night Dimension! I can rid this world of all the filth! Serial killers!
*cuts to a Nightmaren dressed like Ghost Face and brandishing a knife as he chases down a female Nightmaren. He suddenly starts choking himself to death*
Jackle: Robbers!
*cuts to a 'Maren wearing a black ski mask as he tries to suffocate himself with his loot bag*
Jackle: The cast of 'The Jersey Shore'!
*cuts to Snookie trying to choke herself by stuffing pickles down her throat*
Jackle: I am going to purify this world! And nobody is gonna get in my way!
*briefly cuts to Reala, who still looks freaked out*
Jackle: I. AM. JUSTICE! *eyes glow red*
*Jackle starts laughing manically as NiGHTS walks in, looking annoyed*
NiGHTS: Quiet down out here!
*Jackle stops laughing as he and Reala look over at NiGHTS*
NiGHTS: I can't hear 'Wheel of Fortune' over your stupid laugh!
Jackle: You can't tell me what to do anymore NiGHTS! *writes NiGHTS' name in the Death Note then stares intently at his watch* You're gonna die NiGHTS! *laughs evilly*
*five seconds pass, and Jackle becomes confused because NiGHTS isn't trying to suffocate herself*
Jackle: But that doesn't make any sense! I wrote your whole name on here! Look! *turns the Death Note around, revealing that he wrote 'Knightz' instead of 'NiGHTS'*
NiGHTS: That's not how my name is spelled or capitalized dumb ass.
Jackle: I've called you 'NiGHTS' all these years, and I don't even know how it's spelled!?
NiGHTS: And you never will! *laughs diabolically then throws down a smoke bomb and disappears, like a ninja*
Jackle: *turns to Reala* Never mind that! *creepy voice* I have work to do!
(2 months later, Reala and Jackle hang out at a coffee shop in Nightmare as the News comes on)
News 'Maren: According to sources, every criminal in the Night Dimension is now dead.
Reala: Whoa. Congrats man, that's great!
Jackle: It's not enough.
Reala: But you killed every criminal in the entire Night Dimension!
Jackle: That guy is looking at me funny.
*cuts to a Nightmaren wearing a name tag that reads 'Hansel Thepedo'*
Reala: *glances at Hansel* looks pretty normal to me.
Jackle: I don't like it. I don't like it one bit! *opens the Death Note writes Hansel Thepedo's name in it*
*Reala looks back at the 'Maren just in time to see him choke himself to death*
Jackle: That's better.
Reala: Dude he didn't even do anything!
Jackle: Come on, he had a pedo 'stache! I'm sure he's guilty of something!
Reala: You have to stop this! You can't play Wizeman anymore!
*A white book labled 'Life Note' lands in front of Reala, Reala opens it and reads the text out loud*
Reala: Write the name of a person who is dead, and they will be brought back to life?
*Reala takes out a pen and writes Hansel Thepedo's name in it, Hansel's body glows for a moment, then Hansel comes back to life*
Jackle: Oh I see how it is!
*Reala turns back to Jackle with a challenging smirk*
Jackle: YOU THINK YOU DECIDE WHO LIVES AND DIES!?
*for the next ten minutes, Reala and Jackle write Hansel's name in their respective books, effectively killing him and bringing him back to life multiple times, as Jackle laughs manically in the background*
Jackle: You'll never defeat me!
Reala: Yes! I! Will!
Jackle: Fine!
*Jackle writes something in the Death Note and then shows Reala, revealing that he wrote Reala's name in it*
Jackle: *evil chuckling*
Reala: You son of a b****.
*Reala writes something in the Life Note and then shows Jackle, revealing that he wrote Jackle's name in the book*
Jackle: Pfft! What's that gonna do?
Reala: You'll see...
*Jackle then looks at the Death Note and sees something off about it*
Jackle: Wait. *pulls the paper covering off his book, revealing it to be the Life Note* NO!
*Reala pulls the covering off his book, revealing it to be the real Death Note*
Reala: The old switcher-roo! *chuckle darkly*
*Jackle suddenly starts to choke himself to death as Reala laughs diabolically*
LTP: Books are dangerous. Play more video games.
LTP: Aaaaaaand clear!
NiGHTS: So, how did you manage to get Ryuk to come on the show anyway?
LTP: How do you think? *casually takes an apple out of a nearby crate and tosses it to Ryuk, who catches it in his mouth and proceeds to devour it* I agreed to pay him with apples.
Reala: Hey, where's Jackle?
LTP: *points at Ryuk* Thar he be!
*camera pans over to Jackle as he glomps Ryuk's back while Ryuk just continues devouring his apples like he doesn't give a crap*
Reala: I never thought I would ever say this, but Jackle's actually hugging a Death God... why is he hugging a Death God?!
NiGHTS: I guess he's a big Death Note fan.
LTP: Are you kidding? You should have seen his reaction when I told him we would be doing a Death Note parody. He literally started bouncing off the walls in excitement! His face actually left an imprint in the wall!
Ryuk: Applesapplesapplesapplesapplesapplesapplesapplesapplesapplesapplesapples-
Review if you like Death Note!