Author's Note: Yes. It's been a while. Please insert your favorite excuse her _. It will probably be better than mine.
Never the less here's a new chapter.
Paige pads sleepily down the stairs at three in the morning. A nightmare woke her up, and she isn't quite ready to go back to sleep. Her hair is mussed, and she's wearing her sweats and Mike's old T-shirt. She's not expecting anyone up at this hour, not even Mike would wake up this early, so she's surprised to find the kitchen already occupied by Charlie.
"Hey you." Charlie smiles up at her as Paige enters the kitchen and perches herself on a stool across from her.
"Hey. You're up late." Paige says with a yawn.
"You're up early." Charlie retorts.
"Couldn't sleep. You?" Paige mumbles, taking a sip of the glass of water Charlie hands her.
"Baby was hungry. It's not even born yet and I can't deny it anything. This is gonna be the most spoiled kid in the history of the planet."
"Ahhh…" Paige nods in understanding, "And what is the craving dejure tonight?"
"Popcorn with M&M's and hotsauce." Charlie admits as she finishes tossing the bowl in front of her to spread the ingredients. "Want some?"
"Sounds disgusting… Sure, I'll give it a try." Paige reaches out and grabs a fistful, popping the odd concoction in her mouth piece by piece. She nods to Charlie's bump, "Not bad, Peanut."
Charlie smiles to herself with her hand over her stomach as she too pops some food in her mouth. "You know you look kind of like a pirate with that bandage get up."
"I know. It looks ridiculous, but trust me, it looks better than what's underneath." Paige laughs as she touches the bandaging that covers most of her upper forehead and a small gash with stitches she has across her brow. "It's already starting to turn all sorts of lovely colors."
"Well I'm glad it's not worse. We were pretty worried when you didn't come home the other night."
"Hey, save your lecture for your offspring. You're not my mother." Paige teases, reaching out for another handful of popcorn.
"Yeah, I know. I just can't stop worrying these days. I think Mikey's death shook us all-" Charlie quickly stops talking when she realizes this is the first time she's mentioned Mike in front of Paige, "I'm sorry. Obviously it's not the same as for you."
"What do you mean?" Paige asks defensively, and Charlie smiles softly, relieved that Paige hasn't stormed out of the room yet, the way she would for the past few weeks whenever Mike was mentioned.
"I know you two were close." Charlie says tactfully.
"You met him first. You were-"
"Paige, cut the crap. You know what I mean. We all cared for Mikey, but what you two had was special."
"Yeah… Well..." Paige looks down at the counter, suddenly feeling incredibly guilty.
"Hey, look. I don't know what was going on with the two of you at the end there, but you shouldn't doubt that the kid was crazy about you. Anyone could see that. From the moment he met you. I was there. I have never seen anyone fall so hard. He never got over that." Charlie says with a sad smile.
Charlie is trying to be comforting, but it just makes Paige feel even worse. Charlie's talking about Mike like he's dead, and Paige knows he's so alive. She'd spent the whole previous night proving that to herself.
She closes her eyes tight as the memories come rushing back. His scent in the club. The sight of him sleeping in the chair. The feeling of his pulse under her lips as she kissed his neck. All of it had made her light headed with a happiness she didn't know she could feel. Now, even with him gone, she knows he's back in her life, but Charlie is still grieving his loss. Suddenly the secret necklace hanging around her neck seems to weigh more with each passing second. She wants to tell Charlie everything, but she knows it's not her secret to tell. She needs to change the subject.
"Enough about me. How are you doing? You know, with Briggs gone?" Paige blurts out.
She is trying to sound compassionate, but Paige winces as she realizes she's brought up the one thing she feels guiltier for than Mike. Because it is Paige's fault that Briggs was in prison. Maybe not totally, but she definitely knew what she was doing when she told Briggs about Sid and Mike.
She almost hadn't. She had almost kept it to herself. She'd almost allowed Briggs to stay out of the setup, but then Briggs had given that damn bullshit speech about them needing to look after each other, when she knew he had killed Juan and been posing as Odin Rossey all this time. It was too much hypocrisy. So Paige had sent him down to witness Mike's death as part of the set up.
At the time she hadn't known how well her plan would work. She thought he'd just be held for questioning to keep up the cover. Briggs had been in the room when the nurses had rushed in to try to revive him. They'd arrested him immediately and taken him in for questioning. Of course what no one saw coming was Amber.
At the same time Briggs was being questioned, Amber was also being questioned a room over in the station. She'd been stitched up from where Paul had shot her rescuing Charlie, and arrested the second she'd been cleared from the hospital. She'd said Paul and Charlie had set her up, which obviously they had, but she then let information slip about how Paul had tried to get her to kill Mike. That testimony along with Mike's death certificate and Paul's recent suspicions, were all the prosecutor felt he needed to convict Briggs.
Paige thought of the tape that was hidden up in her room. The last nail in Briggs's coffin. She didn't know why she hadn't turned it into the police yet. She wasn't sure what was holding her back. Maybe it was Charlie. Maybe it was the guilt she felt over Mike's death. Maybe she just didn't want to be responsible for Peanut growing up without a father. Maybe she still cared for the man who had been her mentor.
Charlie has been talking, but Paige has been so caught up in her own guilt she hasn't heard a word. She does hear when Charlie's voice breaks with emotion as she holds back a choked sob. Paige doesn't know what to say to comfort her, so she does the only thing she can think of and brings the woman in for a comforting hug.
"What's this?" Charlie asks as she pulls away, pressing her fingers to the mark on Paige's shoulder.
Paige's hand comes up to her shoulder instinctively. She'd forgotten about the love bite Mike had left on her when they were dancing. She quickly tries to remember any other signs Charlie might observe. How the skin on her chin was raw and pink from hours of his stubble rubbing against her as they kissed. Her lips still felt bruised and swollen, was that noticeable? If her T-shirt rides up, Charlie may notice bruises on her hips from where his fingertips dug into her skin as he tried to hold back his climax. She suddenly feels like her body is covered in signs of Mike's possession. Her fingers slide over to the chain which is still hidden under the folds of the T-shirt. If Charlie saw it, she'd know immediately.
"Paige!" Charlie shakes her a little, giving her a concerned look. "You zoned out for a minute there. Is everything alright?"
"Yeah. Yeah, everything's fine. I guess I'm more tired than I thought. I'm going to head back to bed. Thanks for the snack, Peanut." Paige addresses Charlie's stomach. "I'll see you in the morning. Try to get some rest, Charlie. For both of you."
"You sure everything's ok? I'm here if you ever need to talk. About anything." Charlie says, still not convinced everything is fine. "I mean it, Paige. You don't have to deal with this alone. We're a family. We've gotta look out for each other. It's ok to miss him, Paige. We all do. Sometimes I forget and in the morning I expect him to burst through the door fresh from his run and start lecturing me on the virtues of being a morning person."
"He is not a morning person. That's just what he wants people to believe. It's just by the time he gets back from his jog he's been awake for an hour. Trust me, before that run, he is a zombie with morning breath and the bed head…" Paige catches herself as she babbles on about Mike in the morning, affectionately complaining. Charlie gives her an understanding smile.
"I know what you mean. Briggs snores so loudly that it's like sleeping next to a monster truck rally, and yet now that he's gone it's too quiet and I can't sleep." Charlie confides. "It's strange how the things that drove you crazy are the things you miss most."
"Briggs hasn't had his trial yet. He can still come home." Paige says, feeling even more guilty about the damning tape of Briggs she has up in her room.
"Yeah, I know. The thing is, I don't even know if I want him here. Maybe I just want the idea of him. He keeps so many secrets from me. How can I be with him after everything he's done?" Charlie asks, crossing her arms across her chest in a self administered hug.
"You don't really believe he killed Mike do you?" Paige asks, wanting to at least keep Charlie from that worry, even if she couldn't ease her mind about anything else.
"I don't know. Paige, what Amber said was true. He tried to have him killed." Charlie says, knowing the whole time about Briggs messing with the heist for Amber. "How can I love a man like that?"
"You don't choose who you love." Paige says softly, looking down at her feet. She was the last person who should be giving love advice. After all Mike had done at Sylmar… and yet she still somehow forgave him, and that terrified her. Because she shouldn't forgive him. Not after all that had happened, but somehow she did. She worries she would forgive him anything. "Sometimes the people you love do horrible things, and you just need to find a way to move on."
"Is this what you're doing? Moving on?" Charlie asks.
"What do you mean?" Paige asks, looking at her nervously.
"That's Mike's shirt." Charlie brings her fingers to pull on the shirt Paige is wearing, and Paige's hand instinctively comes up to keep the collar in place.
"I miss him." Paige shrugs, saying the only truthful thing she can. "Don't worry about me. I'll be fine. You just take care of yourself and that little Peanut in there. Everything is going to be fine."
"You really believe that?" Charlie asks. Paige had been moping around this house every since she'd been taken by Sulla.
"Yes. Absolutely." Paige says, putting on a brave smile, and for just a second Charlie can see a flash of the optimistic ray of sunshine that Paige used to be. "Now I'm going to bed before I eat anymore of this crap and end up with a stomach as big as yours."
"Doubtful unless you've got a secret boyfriend somewhere!" Charlie laughs as Paige grabs a handful of popcorn and shoves it in her mouth as she turns and flees up the stairs.