Dear Wanker

by Where're Teh Twinkies

When England loses his temper, he does what anyone else would - writes an insulting letter to someone whether he likes them or not, because it's not his fault there are so many bloody wankers in the world to day, and you are one of them.

5. French Wanker

Dear French Wanker,

Francis, would you stop biking in circles around my house, you stupid wanker? That's right, I saw you! You've just made your tenth round—I'm not coming outside to say hi. Last time I did that you tried to kiss me. I won't fall for the same trick twice!

I would have expected Fluffy to scare you off by now. That's right, I've got a man eating lion sitting in my house right now, and he's blood thirsty. You'd best run before I release him out the front door! And don't you even think about flirting with him—he has a score to settle with you, you obnoxious wanker! Remember last year's conference? I told him all about that, and now he's after you!

And don't you even try sneaking into my house, you idiot! Fluffy will rip you apart!

Cheerio, you pretentious wanker,

Arthur Kirkland

PS: Fluffy says you shave a mullet!