LTP: So sorry about the delay everyone, like I said, my internet router crashed on me and I had to reconfigure it. So without further ado, here's the episode you've all been waiting for!

NiGHTS: LTP doesn't own NiGHTS into Dreams, NiGHTS Journey of Dreams, Smosh, or Bear Grylls.

Drink Your Piss

(opens in a forest in some random Nightopia when Jackle's car pulls into an open area)

Jackle: Ugh, hold on. I gotta drain my five dollar foot long.

*Reala rolls his eyes as Jackle stops the car*

Jackle: That means I gotta take a tinkle!

Reala: Yeah, I know.

*Jackle gets out of the car runs across the clearing to the trees*

Reala: *sticks head out window* Hey! Why the hell are you going so far!?

Jackle: I can't go if somebody can see me going!

Reala: You're not five years old anymore!

Jackle: I can't go if somebody's even thinking about me going! So just- GAH! *continues running into the shrubbery*

Reala: *face palm*

*with Jackle, who's standing in front of a tree*

Jackle: *struggling to undo the pants he decided to wear today* RGH! Stupid button-fly! Who's the idiot that chose this over a zipper!? *grunts* Reala!

*Jackle looks around but sees nothing but trees*

Jackle: Hey Reala! Where are you!? If you can hear me, say 'dingleberry'! Or really anything at all! I just really like the word 'dingleberry'! Heh, dingleberry. *snickers a bit before getting serious again* COME ON MAN, I'M LOST!

*'I'm lost!' echoes throughout the forest for a few seconds*

Jackle: Alright, if I can't find my way back, it looks like I'll have to survive out here by myself! *throws arms up and raises head to the sky* SURVIVE! Alright, let's do th-

*Jackle turns around walks face first into the tree he was gonna pee on*

Jackle: OW! *blacks out*

*a few minutes later*

Jackle: *groans* What would Bear Grylls do right now?

?: *echoey voice* Drink your own piss!

Jackle: Who the hell said that!?

*Jackle looks around and sees Bear Grylls standing before him*

Jackle: Bear Grylls!?

Bear Grylls: I sensed that someone was in trouble, and came as soon as I could!

Jackle: Well then, what should I do? Tell me your secrets!

Bear Grylls: Right. First, you need to take care of three basic things! Food, shelter, and hydration. Take care of these three things, and you'll be able to survive out here, forever!

Jackle: Whoa...

*later*

Bear Grylls: Alright, first thing you need to do is drink your own piss!

Jackle: What? No!

Bear Grylls: *scoffs* Alright, then I guess you can find some food. First, if you just look down-

Jackle: Oh, I know! If I eat this moss, it should sustain me all winter! *grabs some moss from a tree and eats it*

Bear Grylls: NO NO! That moss is extremely poisonous!

Jackle: BLEGH! *spits out the moss and starts gagging and coughing a bit*

Bear Grylls: I was just trying to get you to look down there where someone left us a roasted Nightopian!

*camera pans to the base of the tree and sure enough, there's a roasted Nightopian in a tin pan*

Jackle: Oh, right. *sheepish laugh* I knew that. *coughs*

*later, again*

Bear Grylls: This next step will be a lot easier if you drink your own piss!

Jackle: I'd really rather not.

Bear Grylls: Whatever man! It's your life at stake here. I guess we'll have to get you some shelter. *points in some random direction* I would actually-

Jackle: Oh! *starts picking up sticks from the ground* I'll use these sticks to make a hut! I'll make two bedrooms so you can stay the night for a sleepover!

Bear Grylls: STOP YOU IDIOT! YOU'RE TEARING DOWN THE LAST DEN OF THE ENDANGERED WEST AFRICAN KILLER OTTER!

Jackle: *drops the sticks and sees the otters* Oh hi little guys! Aren't you so cute! Nenenene-

*one of the otters attacks Jackle and latches onto his finger*

Jackle: AAAH! OH! GET IT OFF BEAR!

*Jackle continues getting mauled by the otter, and soon enough a second one joins in*

Jackle: OH WHY TWO!? DIE YOU STUPID OTTERS!

*Jackle eventually manages to kill the otters and even shakes one around in his mouth like a dog, and is now standing on what's left of the otters den*

Jackle: *panting*

Bear GRylls: Good job d***! You just forced the species into extinction!

Jackle: Well they started it! Anyway, what's next?

Bear Grylls: Right. This is your last and final step, hydration. All you have to do is drink your own-

Jackle: NO.

Bear Grylls: What? You scared of a little piss or something?

Jackle: I don't know, it just seems a little extreme doesn't it?

Bear Grylls: Come on man! Just drink your piss! Everyone's doing it!

Jackle: Okay great, but that doesn't change the fact that I'M NOT GONNA DRINK MY OWN PISS!

Bear Grylls: Fine!

Jackle: Fine!

*Both cross their arms and turn away from each other*

*later the third*

Jackle: *falls to his knees with an empty water bottle* I'm so thirsty!

Bear Grylls: Just drink your own piss man! Look I got a bottle of my piss right here! *pulls a bottle from his jacket and takes a sip* See? Not that hard! Just drink your own piss!

Jackle: DAMN IT! I'M NOT DRINKING MY OWN PISS BEAR GRYLLS!

Bear Grylls: Suit yourself. *starts guzzling his piss*

*Jackle stare intently at Bear until he makes his decision*

Jackle: Aw screw it! *pulls down his pants, pees into the bottle and start chugging it*

Bear Grylls: CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! YEAH!

Reala: ARE YOU DRINKING YOUR OWN PISS!?

Jackle: *spit take* What!? No! And besides even if I was, I had to! I've been stuck out here for days man!

Reala: Uh, you've only been out here for like 20 minutes. And you're not lost, your car is right there.

Jackle: ... What?

*cuts to a flash back depicting Reala's side of the story*

Reala: Yeah, I saw you hit your head on that tree and I was gonna help, but then you started talking your yourself and building things out of sticks. So, I just sat back and watched.

*flash back ends with Reala recording everything on his phone*

Jackle: Wow, congratulations. You're the greatest friend ever, D***!

*Jackle and Reala get back in the car*

Reala: So you really just drank your own piss huh?

Jackle: I don't wanna talk about it! I just wanna go home and- *tries to start the engine, but the battery dies* Crap, car's dead!

Reala: Great, now we're probably gonna be stuck out here for a couple of days! and we definitely don't have enough food or water!

*Bear Grylls comes out from the back seat and shakes around his piss bottle in suggestion*

Jackle: NO!

LTP: And we're done!

Jackle: PISS PARTY!

LTP: HELL NO!

Reala: Jackle didn't really drink his own piss did he?

LTP: Nah, it was just apple juice.

NiGHTS: Uh LTP? The apple juice is right here... *holds up a bottle of apple juice*

LTP and Reala: O.O

LTP: So... Jackle really did...

Reala: *eye twitch*

Jackle: Oh so that's why it smelled funny!

NiGHTS: ... Yeah, why don't we just stop here for now? I think we've disturbed the audience enough for one day.

LTP: Agreed.

Le Review~