Jennifer: Ha...wassup guys...haha...
Ikuto: You are going to die
Amu: I agree with you Ikuto
Ikuto: *brightens up* REALLY?
Amu: No, now go away jackass
Jennifer: -_- anyway, I'm really sorry I haven't updated in so long. Things got complicated and I couldn't think of anything to write but I wrote it...and it's really short but DEAL WITH IT. Jokes I love you guys. Haha but thanks for everyone who has read this fanfic and actually liked it enough to favourite or story alert it. I'll try to update soon but thanks for everyone for being so patient.
Ikuto: Ha they probably all left you cause you took to long to write
Jennifer: I will transform you into a girl if you don't shuddup
Ikuto:...Okay I'll be quiet
Jennifer: Thought so. Anyway hope you enjoy this chapter. I do not own shugo chara or any of its characters.
~Ikuto's POV~
"Ikuto can I ask you something?"
I turned around.
"Yeah sure Nagihiko, what is it?" I asked curiously. He looked down, making his bangs cover his eyes.
"Do you think you could...lend me some money?" he said quietly. I raised an eyebrow.
"Why?"
"Because...I have to go to my grandmothers funeral and I want to buy some flowers for the memorial ceremony," he whispered hoarsely. Oh crap. Why am I so noisy? I should of just given him the money without hesitation.
"Er... yeah sure, sorry man," I quickly said reaching for my wallet. He nodded meekly, the back of his hand coming up to rub his eyes. My eyes widened. Shit I made him cry. It's really awkward when guys cry, boys don't really dwell well when talking about their...feelings. I shuddered at the thought. I started to open my wallet.
"How much?"
"$50,"
I twitched my eyes.
What kind of flowers did he want?
I started to give him the money before someone pounced onto his back making him lurch forward. He stumbled a bit before regaining his balance.
"Don't do it Ikuto," Rima said calmly, latching her arms around Nagihiko's neck.
"Why not?"
"Because he's faking it," she replied bluntly. Nagihiko looked up and glared at her, only just to receive a grin right back at him.
"And why on earth would he be faking it?" I asked curiously.
"Because he just wants to use your money to buy manga," she said shrugging her shoulders. I snatched my money back and threw a cold glare at Nagihiko.
"You retarded bastard," I muttered walking away. I heard Nagihiko groan in irritation at Rima.
~Nagihiko's POV~
"How did you know I was lying?" I asked. Usually everyone fell for that. I was so close too...
"I just did... oh and those fake tears? Nice touch," she added with a big grin. I groaned. She was absolutely annoying, irritating, frustrating, cute, nice, polit- LALALA. I did not just think that.
"OH and I know a way to make you laugh," she said proudly. I gave her a questioning glance.
'Okay, go," I said somewhat amused. She did a little cough as if preparing a big speech.
"What's a frogs favourite drink?" she asked.
"What?" I sighed. She gave me a huge smile.
"Croaka cola," she said cracking up laughing at the end. I stared at her. What the hell?
"That was horribly dry, I mean where did you even get that joke from. It wasn't even funny at all-"
"I get it!" she screamed trying to look angry but failing at it. I smirked.
"Is that all you got?"
She shook her head.
"Okay, shoot," I said, a little curious of what her other joke would be.
"What bone will a dog never eat?"
"What?"
"A trombone," she said before going into a hysterical laugh and slapping her leg. I sighed and started to walk away, shaking my head.
"Woah, where are you going? I've got more to show you," she yelled after me.
"Nah its cool...please don't follow me," I muttered before starting to run away from her. I have to get away from her as far as possible. Those jokes are so bad that I'm in physical pain...I am so scarred for life.
~Yaya's POV~
I knocked on Kairi's dorm door and waited patiently, book in my hand.
"Come in," I heard a muffled voice call out. I entered and shut the door quietly behind me...only to see Kairi flat out on the floor, head down too. I cautiously walked over. What absurd thing was he doing now?
"May I inquire for you to explain what your actions mean?" I asked peering closer but still keeping a safe distance.
"Dumb it down for me, enough for Utau's level of intelligence," Kairi muttered. I gave a small smile.
"What are you doing," I asked again, making sure not to say anything to scientific.
"Planking," he said back as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
I raised an eyebrow. What on earth was planking?
"What's that?"
He got up and dusted his palms on his pants.
"What I just did," he said shrugging.
"O-oh...okay?" I said in a curious tone.
"You really need to get out more," he said shaking his head and giving a cute little chuckle. I blushed and looked away.
~Normal POV~
Nagihiko burst into his room covering his ears while he was at it, Rima following close behind with a big grin on her face. The sudden action caused Kairi to jump and Yaya's eyes to go alert.
"For the last time, I do not, I repeat do not want to hear anymore of your awful jokes-" Nagihiko yelled before stopping glancing at what he was seeing in front of him.
Yaya was lying on the ground, like she was trying to plank...but was for some unknown reason, being unsuccessful at it.
"What are you guys doing?" Nagihiko asked bluntly.
Yaya quickly jumped up, her face flushed.
"N-n-nothing, nothing at a-all," she stuttered. Kairi grinned and shook his head.
"What are you talking about Yaya, I was teaching you to plank, don't you remember?" Kairi explained. Yaya quickly covered his mouth before he could explain any further. Rima who stood behind Nagi, suppressed a smile. There was an awkward silence...a really awkward silence...for quite a while.
"Anyway as I was saying, Nagi, you listening?" Rima asked. Nagihiko grunted and sat on his bed.
"No," he muttered.
"Two fish are in a tank, one says to the other 'now how do you drive this thing?'," Rima said ignoring him and started to laugh again at her joke. Nagi groaned and dived under his pillow. Kairi started to giggle uncontrollably along with Rima while Yaya shook her head and went to sit next to Nagihiko.
"Oh Kairi has one!" Kairi said while clapping his hands and then shooting his hand up and waving it wildly in the air. Rima beamed at him and nodded, encouraging him to go on. Kairi took a deep breath. Nagihiko cringed, not wanted to hear another unpleasant joke.
"What's brown and sticky?" he asked.
"Let me guess, a stick," Yaya answered not looking up from her book. Kairi stared at her flabbergasted.
"How the fudge cookie did you know?" he wondered. Rima laughed.
"Kairi's got another one if you want to hear it," Kairi said to Rima. Rima nodded eagerly.
"Whats red and bad for your teeth?" he asked and giggled to himself. Rima thought hard for a moment and shrugged her shoulders with a big grin on her face. Kairi glanced at the others, Nagi was just staring out the window ignoring him and Yaya had her nose in her book.
"A brick!" he exclaimed loud enough to make Yaya jump and Nagi snap his undivided attention towards him. Rima giggled and Kairi burst out laughing. They both laughed so hard that they fell onto the carpeted floor while Yaya and Nagi sighed and just looked sympathetically at their two 'friends'.
"W-We should stop, my stomach hurts," Kairi said and Rima nodded in agreement while wiping a tear from her eye. They gave a deep sigh and stared at each other...before bursting into a fit of laughs again. Nagihiko rolled his eyes while Yaya took no notice of them since she was reading her book once again. Suddenly Utau and Kukai burst into the room both looking annoyed at each other.
"For the last time, I finished my ramen first!" Kukai snapped, glaring at Utau. Utau gave him an irritated glance yet her eyes were dancing with enthusiasm.
"No, it was obvious that I won that round," she argued. Kukai narrowed his eyes at her.
"No way,"
"H-hey g-guys? How about you call it a tie?" Rima called out nervously, trying to prevent the fight from getting any worse.
"No!" they both yelled back at the same time causing them to glare at each other with a more intensified, icy look.
"Eep!" Rima squeaked before running to Nagihiko and hiding. Nagihiko raised an eyebrow at her while she reddened and looked away. Utau sighed and stared at Kukai.
"We'll call it a tie...for now. Deal?" she asked. Kukai made a humph-ing sound before turning away...meaning in his terms, a yes. Utau made a small smile before hopping onto the nearest desk and dangling her legs from it while Kukai jumped up onto his bed.
"So what were you guys doing before we rudely barged in?" Utau asked casually with a big, goofy grin on her face.
"Jokes!" Rima and Kairi screamed at the same time causing them to crack up again. Kukai looked at Nagihiko, tilting his head in a questioning glance while Nagihiko just shook his head and sighed. Utau grinned.
"I've got one if you want to hear it," she announced making Kairi's eyes light up and Rima to clap her hands in delight.
"Why did the boy bring the ladder to school?" she questioned to Kairi and Rima.
"Heard it already and its really gay," Kukai muttered.
"No one was asking you," Utau replied sweetly.
"Why did the boy bring the ladder to school? Please tell us the answer" Kairi asked, curious of the response.
"Because he wanted to go to highschool!" Utau said making all three of them crack up into a hysteria fit of laughs.
"I have one for you Kukai since you've heard of the hilarious joke I just told," Utau said while smiling. Kukai raised an eyebrow, obviously interested.
"Why was number one afraid of number two?" Utau questioned. Kukai sighed and ran his hand through his hair.
"What?"
Utau paused for a moment then scratched her head.
"Actually I don't know, I was asking you. I mean, seriously, why was number one afraid of number two? We may never know the answer," Utau said before exhaling loudly and shaking her head which resulted in Kukai slapping his forehead with his hand. Suddenly Kukai's eyes lit up, a glint of mischief in them.
"I have one too," he announced loudly making all eyes avert towards him. Utau raised an eyebrow while grinning, glad that he was joining in which just made him smirk.
~Kukai's POV~
Oh she's not going to be grinning for long...
"Oi you guys listening?" I asked. They all nodded excluding Yaya and Nagihiko.
"There was a blonde at an atm and the blonde behind her yelled 'HAHA, I KNOW YOU'RE PIN NUMBER, IT'S 4 STARS!' then the blonde who was getting her cash yelled back, 'NO IT ISN'T, IT'S 4546!'" I said to them waiting for a response. Kairi immediately started cracking up while Rima gave a slight smile...Utau not so happy. Mission accomplished. I rested my hands behind my back waiting for Utau's insults.
"Blonde jokes...nice. I'm not sure whether to be mad or not," Rima said smiling and scratching her head.
"Funny. Not," Utau soffed, her eyes narrowing. I tried not to gulp so I put on a confident grin.
"Oh but I disagree Utau, I on the other hand think it's hilarious," I sneered back.
"Blondes aren't dumb!" she said defensively, instinctively touching her hair while she was at it. Yaya did a small cough which made Kairi chuckle.
"You say something?" Utau said staring at Yaya looking furious yet still you could hear a subtle hint of playfulness. I watched them with an amused smirk.
Yaya looked up at her and said, "No but I would like to inform you that from my observations from the last few years, it has come to my attention that some blondes ar-"
"It was a rhetorical question," Utau interrupted. Utau sighed which just made me put on a cocky grin. Yaya gave a small smile.
"I know," she stated before reading her book again.
"I have more if you want," I offered. I watched Utau flinch.
"Nah...its perfectly fine," she replied. Pfft...as if I'm actually going to listen to her.
"Did you hear about the blonde who almost killed her toy poodle? She tried to insert batteries," I yelled causing Kairi and Rima to giggle. I watched Utau recoil at the joke and I laughed. From the corner of my eye I even saw Nagihiko glance at me, the tiniest smirk on his face.
"Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet? Because she didn't want to wake the sleeping pills," I said watching Utau start to boil with anger.
"Why do blondes always smile during lightning storms?" I asked everyone.
"Because they think their picture is being taken," Nagihiko answered for me his face looking extremely bored, making each person laugh excluding Utau who just glared at him and crossed her arms.
"Dude I just love your enthusiasm, your eagerness just blows my mind," I said chuckling while giving him a pat on the back. He glared at me and I immediately lifted my hand off. Not a smart move.
"Oh, I see how it is. You guys are all ganging up on me, its ok. I get it," she said which made everyone crack up even more. Utau smiled since she was having fun and was enjoying the bubbly environment, also to the fact that everyone was having a good time. I knew that for her, it was all that mattered. She would be happy as long as everyone else was too. I felt my stomach do a flip. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I do not like her.
"I don't," I whispered to myself trying to assure that I didn't.
"Sorry did you say something?" Utau asked looking at me. I shook my head and she raised her eyebrows.
"I said, how do you keep a blonde busy for hours? Write 'please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper," I said smiling. 'Good cover up Kukai,' I thought to myself. She glared at me.
"If you don't stop I'll have to chase you," she declared, her face determined as if she wasn't joking. But obviously she wouldn't do something so childish...would she?
"Why can't blondes make icecubes? Because they always forget the recipe," I yelled at the top of my lungs.
"I'm warning you, Kukai Souma. If you don't stop, I'll have no choice," she stated firmly.
"Ooh you're using my full name. How scary. Why does it take longer to make a blonde snowman opposed to a regular one? You have to hollow out their head,"
"That's it," Utau proclaimed before jumping off the desk and tackling me to the floor.
"It was just a joke and your doing something silly that Kairi would do," I defended trying to get her arms away from my neck since she was trying to strangle me. Kairi glared at me pretending to look hurt.
"You told seven jokes," she accused.
"Guy's...help?" I said desperately only to see them all look at us amused as if we were the entertainment for the day. Suddenly I heard the door swing open to reveal Amu and a very aggravated looking Ikuto.
"For crying out loud, I swear if you keep stalking me, I will tie you to my bed," Ikuto threatened while throwing his arms angrily in the air. Amu smirked and looped her arm through his.
"First of all, it's not stalking...its following. And referring to the tying to your bed thing? All I have to say is...you kinky cow," Amu said winking and smacking him lightly on the arm she was clinging onto. Ikuto glared at her.
"You are such a freaking pervert!"
Amu shrugged her shoulders.
"You're the one who said it,"
Ikuto just frowned knowing she was right while the rest of the group were sharing amused glances...except for Utau who was still trying to kill Kukai. Amu smirked, knowing she had won.
"Anyway, what are you guys up to?" Amu asked.
"Well, Kairi was teaching Yaya how to plank since she didn't know how and she really sucks at it but then Nagihiko and Rima came in and Rima was telling Nagihiko jokes but he didn't seem very happy about them but Kairi found it hilarious and so then Kairi started joining in and Kairi and Rima were having loads of fun...Yaya was reading a boring book but ANYWAY then Utau and Kukai came in arguing about who had won the ramen eating contest but then Utau said to call it a tie for now and Kukai silently agreed and then Utau asked what we were up to and Rima and Kairi yelled jokes which made Utau lighten up and then she started telling some really funny jokes which cracked Rima and Kairi up but then Kukai told us some blonde jokes which were equally as funny but Utau wasn't as happy and then she got tired of it and attacked him which was cool to watch and then you and Ikuto barged in and Ikuto started saying you were stalking him and he got tired of it and that he would tie you to a bed if you didn't stop and you called him a kinky cow but then you asked us what we were doing so that's what Kairi is explaining to you now," Kairi said really fast, all in one breath. The whole gang stared at him amazed except for Yaya who just frowned.
"Tch...such simple language," Yaya muttered to herself. Kairi glared at her.
"I did not hear that," Kairi said back.
"Also you referred yourself to Kairi instead of I or me," Yaya continued and started to list all the wrong vocabulary he used. Kairi blushed as red as a tomato.
"Be quiet," he yelled pouting which just caused Yaya to smile.
"Well I wasn't listening half of the time, you lost me at the planking thing," Utau said carelessly.
"I wasn't listening at all," Nagihiko said bluntly. Rima smacked him lightly on the head.
"Well aren't you just a ray of sunshine," she murmured which just caused Nagihiko to smirk.
"I've got some jokes," Amu offered which caused Kairi to lighten up.
"What bee's produce milk?" she inquired. Kairi tilted his head to the side and thought hard, a concentrated look on his face. Rima shook her head, wanting to know the answer.
"Boobies!" Amu yelled which cause Ikuto to hit her on the head.
"Ouch!"
"Dude, do you spend all your time being a pervert?" Ikuto asked.
"Well now you mention it...yeah," Amu confessed. Ikuto sighed and shook his head.
"Aah, that's too much mature content in that joke," Kairi screamed blocking his ears.
"Kid," Amu snickered which caused her to get another whack in the head from Ikuto.
"Want to hear a dirty joke? John fell in the mud. Want to hear a clean joke? John took a bath with bubbles. Want to hear another dirty joke? Bubbles was the girl next door," Amu said loud enough for Kairi to hear.
"I'm going to become infected by her dirty jokes, someone stop her!" Kairi pleaded which cause Amu to smirk.
"Okay, okay I'll stop. Well since we're all here together...why not do something? Amu asked which got a mumble of agreement from everyone including Ikuto.
"For once, you thought of something smart and definitely not perverted," Ikuto commented which cause Amu's smirk to grow wider.
"And when I mean something, I meant something dirty like porn," she continued while winking which resulted in a groan from everyone.
"You'll never change," Ikuto sighed which made Amu chuckle.
"Damn straight I won't,"
Jennifer: Well, thats the end...i don't even know what I'm going to do for the next chapter
Ikuto: Cause you suck
Amu: Dont make me come over there~
Ikuto: Crap
Jennifer: ANYWAY so if I take a while, I'm really sorry but really thankyou for everyone who has put up with my slow updating. If i have made any mistakes, i would gladly take your feedback no matter how critical. I love you all...kinda aha jokes. Please review! cya