LTP: HEY EVERYBODY! GUESS WHAAAAT~?
NiGHTS: What's up?
LTP: I have big news~!
Reala: Well get on with it. We don't have all day.
LTP: Be patient Reala, I'm not gonna make the big reveal until after today's episode is done.
*Clawz suddenly runs past with Jackle, who is holding a giant Tortilla wrap, hot on his tail*
Clawz: LEAVE ME ALONE JACKLE! I DON'T WANNA BE A BURRITO!
Jackle: YOUR'E GONNA FLY THROUGH SPACE AS A BURRITO AND YOUR'E GONNA LIKE IT!
LTP: JACKLE! STOP TRYING TO ROLL CLAWZ INTO A BURRITO! FOR GOD'S SAKE, WE NEED HIM FOR A SKETCH!
Jackle: Oh ok... *stops chasing Clawz*
NiGHTS: Why were you trying to roll him into a burrito anyway?
Jackle: I wanted to make him into Nyan Cat!
Reala: ... Nyan Cat?
LTP: *sighs* First off Jackle, Nyan Cat's body is a pop tart, not a burrito. Secondly, when Nyan Cat flies through space, he shoots rainbows out of his butt while singing and annoying, but catchy, song. And third, someone say the disclaimer before so we can get this show on the road!
Clawz: LTP doesn't own NiGHTS into Dreams, NiGHTS Journey of Dreams, or any of the following references that we are about to act out.
LTP: Good kitty! Have a fish! *tosses a fish at Clawz, who catches it in his mouth*
Random Drabbles 7
(opens in a restaurant in Nightmare, Jackle and NiGHTS walk in)
Employee: Welcome to Dimpus, can I take your order?
Jackle: Give me a uh, double bacon cheeseburger.
Employee: *into the microphone* Double bacon cheese burger, it's for a second level.
Jackle: What the hell's that all about? You gonna spit in it now?
Employee: No, I was just telling him that so he makes it good. *to the mic* Don't spit in that second level's burger.
Jackle: *sarcastically* Yeah, thanks. Give me a uh, pie. Apple.
Employee: Do you want me to hold the spit? *laughs* Just kidding! So uh, do you want to "Dimpusize" your meal for a quarter more?
Jackle: Want me to punchasize your face, for free?
{~~~}
(open in Jackle's room, where Jackle is playing Halo and has just killed a player)
Jackle: HA! Yeah, take that! You're gonna get tea bagged so good! *crouches over dead player*
*Reala's in-game avatar walks up*
Reala: Dude, what are you doing?
Jackle: What? I'm tea bagging him!
Reala: You're supposed to put your balls in his mouth, not sit on his d***.
Jackle: Oh.
*camera shows Jackle's in-game avatar sitting on the dead players crotch*
Jackle: ... S***.
{~~~}
(opens at the Dream Gate where Wizeman has confronted NiGHTS)
Wizeman: Any last words NiGHTS?
NiGHTS: Giraffe.
Wizeman: What? *gets kicked away by a giraffe*
NiGHTS: *thumbs up* Thanks Giraffe.
Giraffe: *goofy voice* NO PROBLEM NIGHTS!
{~~~}
(opens in a courtroom)
Reala: Jackle, would you care to tell the court, in your own words, what happened on the morning of October the sixth?
Jackle: *whimpers* I DID IT! I DID IT! Reala, I'm sorry man! I did it! It was an accident! I didn't mean it!
Reala: O.o
Jackle: I! DROPPED THE SCREW! IN THE TUNA! I! DROPPED THE SCREW! IN THE TUNA! IT WAS ME! OH THE HUMANITY! *cries as he jumps into the judge's podium*
Judge: *screams a little*
Jackle: I! DROPPED THE SCREW! IN THE TUNA! *grabs podium microphone* I! DROPPED THE SCREW! IN THE TUNA!
{~~~}
(opens in the kitchen from chapter 5, NiGHTS, Reala and Jackle chill out at the table)
Jackle: NiGHTS, can I see that paper for a sec?
*NiGHTS hands over The Nightmaren Times to Jackle*
Jackle: *reading through the paper* Huh. That's odd. I thought that would be big news.
NiGHTS: You thought what would be big news?
Jackle: Well, there seems to be an absence of a certain ornithological piece. A headline regarding mass awareness of a certain avian variety.
NiGHTS: What are you talking about?
Jackle: Oh, have you not heard? It was my understanding that everyone had heard.
NiGHTS: Heard what?
Reala: NIGHTS DON'T!
*Jackle gets up from his chair, knocking it over, and starts singing and dancing to 'Surfin' Bird' while the music plays from a record player he pulled out of his cape*
Jackle: ~ A-well-a, bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word~
~A-well-a, bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word
A-well-a, bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word
A-well-a, bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word
A-well-a, bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word
A-well-a, NiGHTS, don't you know about the bird?
Well, Jackle's gonna tell you about the bird!
A-well-a, bird, bird, b-bird's the word
A-well-a, bird~
~Suuuuuuuur-fiiiiiiin' Biiiiiiiiiiiiird~
*starts acting like he's having a seizure, with much violent twitching*
Bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbadffasjdaiofjawcniszfjnisjnxcsijgszcf
akjnzkgluxvdgncasnrdvgnuvdkzfcsnflvzkd◊gnvlshrzvdgckszlazbflnbxcgnf
lsxudczxhagunhuighcuidufdzkxhdfckdsnzCIFlnmsnugnisdzvncxaaaaaaaaaa
*Jackle gasps and lays on the floor unmoving*
NiGHTS: *at Jackle's side* Oh my God! Jackle, are you alright?!
Jackle: ~ Papa-ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow~
*Jackle gets back up and continues dancing to the song*
~Papa-ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow
Ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow
Papa-ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow
Papa-ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow
Oom-oom-oom-oom-ooma-mow-mow
Papa-ooma-mow-mow, papa-oom-oom-oom
Oom-ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow
Ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow
Papa-a-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow
Papa-ooma-mow-mow, ooma-mow-mow~
*NiGHTS walks out in annoyance as Jackle continues his song, Reala takes out a gun and casually aims the barrel in his mouth*
{~~~}
(back with Jackle in the restaurant)
Employee: Beverage?
Jackle: Give me a uh, liter of cola.
Employee: A what?
Jackle: A liter of cola.
Employee: *into the microphone* Liter of cola, do we make liter of cola?
NiGHTS: Will you just order a large Jackle?
Jackle: I don't want a large Jackle, I want a Wizeman damned liter of cola!
Employee: I don't know what that is.
Jackle: *grabs the employee as NiGHTS tries to hold him back* Liter is French, for 'Give me some f***ing cola before I break your f*** leg off!'!
Employee: ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT! RELAX!
*later at the table*
Jackle: *looking at his burger* That look like spit to you? *shows NiGHTS*
NiGHTS: *looks* Yeah.
Jackle: *shrugs* Ah f*** it. *takes a bite*
{~~~}
(opens in a hallway where Reala knocks on Jackle's door)
Jackle: Hey Reala!
Reala: Don't you answer your phone? I've been calling for half an hour.
Jackle: Oh, I'm sorry. I was putting up my Christmas tree.
Reala: Dude, it's July.
Jackle: Get the f*** outta here, it is!?
Reala: Yeah. And uh, why are you naked?
*camera shows Jackle without his cloak, hat, boots or gloves*
Jackle: *looks down at himself* Oh my Wizeman! I am naked! *laughs*
{~~~}
(opens in NiGHTS' room, where she is covering a game controller in peanut butter for some reason. Suddenly Jackle bursts in, his eyes are pink*
NiGHTS: AAAHHH! *jumps up and grasps the wall behind her*
Jackle: NIGHTS DUDE! IT'S THE BEST IDEA SINCE UNDERWEAR! *holds up a pair of underwear*
*In Jackle's room*
Jackle: Alright, *clears his throat and slaps a picture of Reala's face on a 'Devil May Cry' poster* Huuuuhh?
NiGHTS: *rubs chin* Hmmm, you may have an idea there.
*Will slams the door open*
Will: *eyes wide* NIGHTS! IT'S AN EMERGENCY!
NiGHTS: *gripping her head* WHAT WILL!? WHAT!?
Will: DONBALON JUST GOT FATTER! *pupils shrink*
NiGHTS: *crosses arms* Emergency, that's not an emergency.
Jackle: *lights a match*
*suddenly a much fatter Donbalon bursts in through the ceiling, crushing Jackle underneath a pile of rubble*
Donbalon: *roars like Godzilla*
NiGHTS: O.O
{~~~}
(opens at the Dream Gate)
Selph: Hey, did you hear they made a sequel to Crack Down?
Reala: Oh, really?
Selph: Yeah, it's called Crack Up. It's a really funny game.
Reala: ...
Selph: You- you get it? It's because of-
*Reala snarls and grabs Selph by the throat*
Selph: *choking noises*
Reala: *throws Selph into the dark ocean with a scream of effort*
Selph: AAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa *screaming fades as he hits the water*
{~~~}
(opens on a mini golf course in Nightmare, Clawz and Jackle are at the final hole with a large clown head)
Clawz: All right, this one's very tough.
*Jackle hits the ball, the ball goes up the tongue ramp and gets blocked by the clown's teeth as the clown starts laughing*
Jackle: *mocking laughing* He's laughing, he's havin' a good time! Good for you! Yeah, laugh it up! Enjoy your night! *mocking laugh*
Clawz: Come on Jackle, concentrate.
*Jackle hits the ball, the same thing happens again*
Jackle: ... I hate that clown.
Clawz: Easy. If you can't beat the clown, how're you gonna beat Chamelon?
*Jackle relaxes and hits the ball again, this time the ball goes into the clown's mouth*
Jackle: YEAH!
*clown head hawks and spits out the ball, then proceeds to laugh*
Jackle: YOU'RE GONNA DIE CLOWN!
*Jackle breaks the clown's nose off with the golf club*
Jackle: YOU THINK THAT'S FUNNY!? I DON'T HEAR YOU LAUGHING NOW!
{~~~}
(opens in Down Town Nightmare)
LTP, Jackle, and NiGHTS: Doin' illegal stuff!
*cuts to NiGHTS holding the camera while LTP drives into a handicapped parking spot as Jackle screams with his head out the window*
Jackle: OOOOOOOOOOOOHHH!
*cuts to a grocery store*
LTP: Hey this looks pretty good. *knocks a pack of toilet paper off the shelf*
*LTP, Jackle, and NiGHTS run for it while giggling*
{~~~}
(back at the restaurant, again)
Jackle: I got a good feeling about this.
*Jackle peels the $10 million sticker off his cup, cola starts pouring out from a hole punched into the cup*
Jackle: DAMNIT YOU BURGER PUNK! YOU SON OF A B****! *jumps over the counter and tackles the employee*
LTP: I just noticed, there's a lot of Jackle in this one. Anyway, before we end the show this week, I have an announcement! I just noticed not too long ago that the one year anniversary of NiGHTS into Randomness will be coming up in a couple of months. That being said, I have decided to tell you all the tale of how the show came to fruition! The story will be separate from the actual show, under the title 'How it all Began: The Creation of NiGHTS into Randomness'. I already went ahead and threw together a little preview for ya'll, enjoy!
{~~~}
"The f*** is a Nightopia?", the Dreamer questioned with a blank look on her face, startling NiGHTS with her strong language.
"... You're kidding right? Didn't Owl explain everything to you when you first arrived at the Dream Gate?", NiGHTS asked, surprised that this Visitor somehow managed to avoid getting her ears talked off by the old bird.
"Owl? Wait, did this owl happen to dressed like an old man by any chance? You know, glasses, old man jacket and such?", The Visitor inquired after a moment of realization.
"That's exactly what the old bird looks like, did something happen to him?", NiGHTS asked, now a bit worried for her feathered friend. NiGHTS heard the girl take a sharp intake of air, making a hissing type noise, before she continued.
"Oh. Yeah, see, about that...", the girl began nervously, thinking back to what happened at the Dream Gate.
~Flashback time!~
"Am I high or something?! What the hell was all that back there!? And where the hell am I now?! Ugh, that's it, I'm never drinking steak sauce before bed again.", the human girl ranted at no one in particular upon her arrival at the Dream Gate. As she was trying to figure out just what was going on, she didn't notice the presence of one of the Dream Gate's main residents. That is, until...
"Hoo Hoo! Welcome Visitor!", proclaimed the owl that we all know and somewhat love, effectively scaring the s*** out of the Dreamer. Bad idea.
"HOLY S***!", the Visitor exclaimed with a start before kicking the owl into a tree. Owl could only groan in pain as his body hit the tree, bounced off and landed in a bush at the base of said tree. She was about to go check it out, but then something else caught her attention, namely a door that magically appeared out of nowhere. You know what that means~.
"Hey a door! Hello door! What secrets do you hide behind thy wooden surface my friend?", the Dreamer actually asked the door before going through it.
~Flashback over~
"Um, I might have, accidentally, kicked him into a tree", the Visitor admitted sheepishly.
{~~~}
LTP: I hope you enjoyed that little sneak peak. For the next couple of months, I will be working on the anniversary special along with the upcoming episodes for NiGHTS into Randomness. With that said, SEE YA NEXT WEEK!