NiGHTS: Where's Chamelon? Doesn't he have a part in this episode?
LTP: Chamelon is currently recovering from 3rd degree burns, my bad by the way, and unfortunately won't be able to participate in this episode.
Jackle: HOW'RE WE GONNA DO THIS WITHOUT CHAMELON!? THE SHOW IS DOOMED!
LTP: Calm down Jackle. Luckily, I just so happened to find this guy wandering around the Hall of Universes when I was checking on it earlier!
*Piedmon walks in*
LTP: Everyone, meet Piedmon, one of the main villains from 'Digimon Digital Monsters' and one of the main characters from Sundiel's show, 'Randomness'! Sun was so kind as to let me borrow him for the day!
Jackle: Pied! Remember me!?
Piedmon: Yeah I remember you, you ate the entire talking cake! And you didn't save any for me!
Jackle: Hehehe, that was yummy!
Reala: ... You look like a demented clown.
LTP: Reala play nice.
Piedmon: Like you're one to talk! You look like a demonic mime going to a masquerade ball with that tacky mask of yours!
Reala: *gritting his teeth* That 'tacky mask' is my persona, and it is a symbol of my loyalty to Master Wizeman, the god of Nightmare!
LTP: Piedmon, you'd best say the disclaimer and get the show started before Reala decides to strangle you. He always gets kinda touchy when it comes to his persona. Plus I don't exactly want to have to explain to Sun that you died on set because you pissed off the general of the Nightmaren army.
Piedmon: Fine then. Ahem, LTP doesn't own NiGHTS into Dreams, NiGHTS Journey of Dreams, Dick Figures, or Digimon.
Jackle: YAY! THE SHOW'S NOT DOOMED!
Captain Jackle and the Piña Colada Armada
*on a pirate ship somewhere in the Aqua Garden*
Jackle: *wearing an eye patch and hook hand* ~Ohhh, 13 flies in a dead man's ball sack, 14 holes in a seagull's kayak, 15 spots on the Mask of Rorschach! Earlye in the morning!~ Avast ye, mate-ster! Shiver me portside and Buckle-swash the poop deck!
Reala: You have no idea what you're talking about, do you?
Jackle: Nope.
Reala: How can you like being a pirate? Don't you get seasick all the time?
Jackle: Hogwash! *throws up* That's just how I sneeze. Ahoy, wenches! Blast due southward!
*camera pans to several female Nightmaren*
Wenches: Aye-aye, Captain Jackle!
Blue Nightmaren Wench: *hands Reala a drink* Piña colada, Lieutenant Reala?
*Reala sighs and drinks it*
Reala: *thinking* Piña coladas, whatever, what a girly drink- this is really good.
Jackle: Arr, matey, once we find a ~real live mermaid~, we'll be rich and famous! And handsome!
Reala: Aaaand, how are we supposed to find one?
*Jackle brings out a fishing pole with a worm on the hook*
Reala: Really?
Jackle: *casts the line into the water* Yarrr. And now we wait.
*later*
Jackle: *peering through binoculars* HARK! Up the Starbucks bow!
*A ship full of female Nightmaren; including Puffy, Queen Bella, and Bomamba; approaches. The captain is NiGHTS*
Jackle: Hmm, 'tain't mermaids... Avast ye, scurvy b****es!
NiGHTS: Avast ye, f***nuts, you're in our waters, now give us your gold!
Jackle: You're in our waters, now show us all your boobs!
NiGHTS: Nay, hand over your plunder!
Jackle: Nay, reveal your teats!
NiGHTS: Fork up the doubloon!
Jackle: Let fly your melons!
NiGHTS: Give us the loot!
Jackle: Gazongas!
NiGHTS: Never!
Jackle: *to his wenches* Fire!
*both ships exchange fire and NiGHTS' ship sinks*
Jackle: Hahahahaha! To Davy Jones' arse with ye!
Reala: Holy s***, dude! Did you just kill my girlfriend?!
Jackle: Pssh, no. 'Tain't official yet.
*camera cuts Reala's Persona Book page awaiting confirmation that Reala is in a relationship with NiGHTS. He is constantly refreshing the page*
Reala: Any minute now. Any minute.
*camera cuts back to the ship. Someone sings while line is being pulled*
Jackle: Mermaid!
Reala: Mermaid?!
Clawz: *holds up a meat cleaver* Sashimi!
*the line is reeled in, and reveals Piedmon as a mermaid*
Piedmon: Hahaha! Whoa! Why hello, young SEMEN!
Jackle: 'Tis an ugly mermaid.
Piedmon: *giggles*
Clawz: I would not eat-a the sushi.
*Piedmon falls onto the deck and grows legs. He laughs as Jackle & Reala scream*
Reala: OH, MY WIZEMAN, HE'S GROWING A...!
Piedmon: Oh, splendid! Now, I'm a real Digimon!
Jackle and Reala: SEA DEMON!
Jackle: Kill him!
*Jackle shoots Piedmon with a pistol, then Clawz throws his meat cleaver at him and finally Reala pulls a rope for the anchor, which hits Piedmon and knocks him into the water where he gets eaten by sharks*
Piedmon: *drowning*...F***!...*more drowning*
Reala: Well, we found the mermaid. Can we go home now?
Jackle: Nay! Because, now we're handsome!
Reala: What?!
Jackle: Wenches, more piña coladas! *Grabs Reala's piña colada and drinks it*
Reala: Hey, that's mine!
Jackle: ~If you like piña-~
LTP: And that is it for today! Thank you for your cooperation Piedmon!
Piedmon: *still dripping wet* It was my pleasure!
*suddenly a Velociraptor comes charging into the studio and roars at LTP and Piedmon*
LTP: What the f***?
Piedmon: Oh dear God! That's one of Sundiel's Velociraptors! They must have gotten loose!
Jackle: OH MY WIZEMAN WE'RE GONNA DIE!
LTP: Did they now? *pushes a nearby by button that says 'IN CASE OF VELOCIRAPTOR ATTACK'*
*a weighted net drops down from the ceiling onto the Velociraptor before tranquilizer darts are shot at it. Then a large Spinosaurus wearing a purple and coral blue bandana comes stalking in as the raptor falls unconscious*
LTP: Everyone, meet Cinder the friendly Spinosaur! Say hello Cinder!
*Cinder makes a growling noise that sounds like 'hello' before picking up the net containing Sun's Velociraptor in her teeth and stomping over to the Hall of Universes*
Reala: ... Where did you even manage to get a Spinosaur?
LTP: Cloning facility.
Reala: Ah.
NiGHTS: Knowing you, I would've thought it was going to be a giant pug or something.
LTP: That reminds me. *takes out a pug and hands it to Piedmon* Here, have a Guide Pug!
Piedmon: ... What am I supposed to do with this?
LTP: Buddha here is what I like to call a Guide Pug, he's been trained to navigate the Hall of Universes. His job is to guide characters back to their own universe and/or guide other characters to any universe they want to visit. Basically, he's a living GPS, he'll help you get back to your universe. Also, take Cinder with you, she'll be able to help round up any of the remaining Velociraptors in Sun's studio.
Piedmon: 'Kay thanks. *starts to walk off*
LTP: Also, make sure to tell Sundiel that she can keep Buddha if she wants him! I got plenty of Guide Pugs running around. However, I will need Cinder back!
Piedmon: Will do!
*Piedmon, Buddha, and Cinder enter the Hall of Universes*
LTP: Okay, we're done here for today! See ya'll next week!
Review~