LTP: Hey everyone!
Reala: *sarcastically* Great, she's back to nor- What the f*** is that thing?!
*Reala points at a baby Velociraptor perched on LTP's shoulder. The raptor is about half a foot tall, is dark red with 3 black stripes on its back, and is wearing a grey collar with different colored dragons embroidered on it*
LTP: Hm? Oh! This is Crazy Linda, or C.L. for short, a baby Velociraptor that Sun sent with her Get-Well-Soon gift. And I have to say, that magic potion she gave me, that stuff worked wonders!
Jackle: *pouting*
LTP: Don't pout Jackle, you were practically hugging Sun to death when I told you she helped me get my voice back. I appreciate that you tried to help, but the only thing your "super elixir" did was make me bow to the porcelain throne.
Reala: *snickers*
NiGHTS: *elbows Reala* Ree!
LTP: *sarcastically* Good to know my suffering brings you so much amusement Reala.
*C.L. growls at Reala and latches onto one of his horns, Reala widens his eyes in surprise but is not harmed*
LTP: My sentiments exactly C.L., but we can't go around biting our co-workers, okay? Now come on sweetie, let go of the emo jester.
*C.L. trills a bit before letting go of Reala and hopping back up onto LTP's shoulder*
LTP: Alrighty then, everyone get to the set while I take care of the disclaimer!
NiGHTS: Right! *flies off*
Jackle: OKAY! *flies off*
Reala: Whatever. *flies off*
LTP: Ahem, I do not own NiGHTS into Dreams, NiGHTS Journey of Dreams, Sanity Not Included, Action Bunnies, Liar Liar, Yu-Gi-Oh The Abridged Series, Kingbach vines, Grandma's Boy, or anything else!
Note: LTP does not approve of the abuse of drugs and/or alcohol. Any snippets below depicting drug use was purely for the reader's entertainment, and should not be taken seriously.
Random Drabbles 8
(opens in Nightmare castle, where Jackle is being chased by a flying toilet... I know, I'm surprised myself)
Jackle: I TOLDED YOU NO!
Toilet: MAKE POO IN MEEEE!
{~~~}
(opens in a legal office, where Reala is returning to his office)
NiGHTS: *holding up a phone* Reala, Reala. It's Selph. He knocked over another ATM, this time at knifepoint. He needs your legal advice.
*Reala walks over and takes the phone from NiGHTS*
Reala: *holding phone to face* STOP BREAKING THE LAW ASS****! *hands the phone back to NiGHTS and walks away*
{~~~}
(opens in Nightmare castle)
Clawz: Face it Puffy, the only difference between you and Donbalon is about 20 pounds of silicone!
Puffy: My breasts are NOT fake!
LTP, NiGHTS, Reala, and Clawz: *skeptically* Riiight.
Jackle: I don't believe you!
{~~~}
(opens in the kitchen from episode five)
Jackle: Hey Reala! Can I get some ice cream?
Reala: Only a spoonful!
*Ice Cream and Cake song starts playing as Jackle holds up a giant spoon with a serious look on his face*
{~~~}
(opens in Wizeman's throne room)
Wizeman: I think my cat is sick.
*camera shows Clawz on fire*
Reala: ... I don't think it's sick.
Wizeman: Who died and made you a vet?
{~~~}
(opens in the kitchen from chapter 5, where Jackle is looking directly into the toaster)
Jackle: Hey, where's my toast?
*suddenly a piece of toast shoots out of the toaster and hits Jackle in the eye. Then it starts floating and talking*
Toast: *echoey voice* I am the Toast Genie. I shall grant you three wishes.
Jackle: *now with a black eye* Hey man, I just want my toast.
Toast: Wait, what are you doing!?
*Jackle grabs the Toast Genie and proceeds to eat it*
{~~~}
(opens in a hallway of Nightmare castle, where NiGHTS and Reala are having a conversation)
NiGHTS: So I told him to bugger off and you know what he did?
Reala: What did he do?
NiGHTS: He came in the next day, completely nude, save for a diaper on his head, and started screaming about he would become the next Hokage or whatever BS he was spewing. The worst part of all was the fact that he looked and smelled like he was covered in shi-
*Jackle flies circles around NiGHTS and Reala, with the toilet still following*
Jackle: STAY AWAY FROM ME YOU DEMON SPAWN OF PORCELAIN!
Toilet: I WANT TO DEVOUR YOUR FECES!
Jackle: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! *flies down a random hallway*
*NiGHTS and Reala look down the hall that Jackle and the toilet went down, with wide eyes and stunned expressions*
NiGHTS: ... Reala?
Reala: ... Yes, NiGHTS?
NiGHTS: Did we seriously just see Jackle being chased by a flying, talking toilet?
Reala: ... Yes, we did.
NiGHTS: ... Reala? Have we gone completely insane?
Reala: ... I don't even know anymore...
{~~~}
(opens in Selph's room)
Selph: Alright, bust a beat. Ready? Go!
Donbalon: *really bad beatboxing*
Selph: *face is covered in spit* Okay, you're spitting ALL IN MY S***!
{~~~}
(opens in the rec. room of Nightmare castle, where LTP and Reala are watching MTV for lack of anything better to do. C.L. is laying across LTP's lap, eating a small hamburger)
TV Announcer: Like, oh my God! Do you remember when this channel used to be about music? Now back to Stupid D****s the show.
Annoying Glasses Guy: TOTALLY GNARLY DUDE! LIKE RADICAL *makes weird noises, then craps himself*
Stupid B****: Like OMG *holds up a baby by the umbilical cord* THIS BABY! AAAAAAAAHH!
Obnoxious B****: *scoffs* Can you believe that people like, work for money? *scoffs some more, until it borders on screaming*
Annoying Glasses Guy: Like, I know right? I'm gonna get my dad's Camaro!
Stupid B****: BABY! LIKE OMG! *screams*
Annoying Glasses Guy: *shakes head around while screaming and making weird noises*
Obnoxious B****: I'm from Beverly Hills!
Reala: *looks at LTP* ... This is your country.
LTP: *head hangs in shame* I know...
{~~~}
(opens in Jackle's room)
Reala: ... You're getting a lion?
Jackle: Yeah.
Reala: Why?
Jackle: To protect my s***.
Rela: Never heard of a dog?
Jackle: Dude, you can get past a dog, nobody f***s with a lion.
Reala: Yeah, that's true.
Jackle: So, what kind of weed do ya want? I've got the Incredible Hulk, I got some of the Green Monster, I got the Bling-
Reala: Hey! We go through this every time I come here. I don't care what it's called, I just want a bag of f***ing weed.
Jackle: Whoa, chill bro. You know you can't raise your voice like that when the lion's here.
{~~~}
(opens in Reala's room, where Owl is sitting in a chair while Reala pours gasoline on him)
Reala: *holds up a lit match*
Owl: I can't wait for my new superpowers!
Reala: Wait, what're we doing?
{~~~}
(opens in LTP's Fortress of Randomness, AKA, her office)
LTP: Hmmm, what am I gonna use for the ending this episode?
*suddenly Jackle bursts in, startling C.L., who was sleeping on a black couch with a fluffy blanket*
LTP: *jumps* What the!?
Jackle: LTP YOU GOTTA HELP ME! AN EVIL TOILET'S BEEN CHASING ME ALL DAY AND IT WON'T LEAVE ME ALONE-HO-HONE!
LTP: ... Wait, what?
Jackle: *looks down the hall* OH WIZEMAN IT'S COMING!
*Jackle dives over LTP's desk and tries to hide underneath it while knocking off a Fennekin plush doll, a Shadow Heartless plush doll, some toy pugs, and a bowl full of pomegranate flavored candies*
LTP: *grabs her computer so it doesn't fall off* AAH! Jackle, what the hell are you doing!? Get out from under there!
*flying toilet comes in*
Toilet: FEED ME YOUR STOOL!
LTP: ... You gotta be kidding me.
C.L.: *growls at the toilet*
Jackle: *whimpers* Please help me...
*LTP sighs and casually pushes a random button on her desk. Suddenly, A giant sledgehammer swings out from the ceiling and smashes the toilet into thousands of tiny pieces, thus destroying the porcelain menace*
LTP: Sorry about that Jackle, we've been having an issue with the toilets in the west wing becoming self-aware lately.
*Jackle pops out from under the desk and hugs LTP*
Jackle: THANKS LTP! *flies out cackling manically*
LTP: ... Looks like I found my ending... and I'm talking to myself... awesome. *goes back to typing*
*C.L. snorts, hops back onto the couch, and goes back to sleep*
LTP: FYI, that whole skit with the living toilet, that wasn't really sketch, that actually happened. So... yeah.
NiGHTS: So, what else did Sun put in her care package besides the magic potion?
LTP: Let's see, there was some toy pugs, some joke books, C.L., and a remote that controls whoever I want. I'll probably save the last one for emergency situations, like if Cerberus gets loose and goes on a rampage, or if Jackle gets a hold of anything with caffeine or sugar in it.
Jackle: Hey! I do not get that crazy when I have caffeine!
LTP: Jackle, that last time you had caffeine, you blew up an electric appliance store.
NiGHTS: Right after you flooded it.
Reala: And then you proceeded to make out with a fire hydrant.
LTP: Oh, before I forget, just a little word of warning, do not make mention of the fact that C.L. is T-I-N-Y. Because, like Edward Elric, she has a tendency to overreact when people refer to her as being not-big. If anyone mentions the forbidden word, or any of its variations, in regards to her size, she WILL set you ablaze as she has the ability to breathe fire.
Reala: *scoffs* Yeah right, and Donbalon's a world famous male model.
LTP: Oh no, it's true. Sun somehow managed to splice some dragon DNA in C.L., thus giving her the ability to breathe fire. It's also the reason why Chamelon's back in the burn ward. He said the trigger word and she reacted.
NiGHTS: It's true, I saw what happened.
Jackle: So THAT'S how Chamelon caught fire again.
Reala: ... S***.
*Batman theme* DANANANANANANANANANANA RE-VIEW!~