LTP: For anyone wondering, we WILL be shooting Titanic Time and Save the Phallus, but they will be in future Random Drabbles episodes. Main reason being that, while both were funny, they were a bit too short for a regular episode. Now then, here is the following roles to be performed for this episode.

Lyle will be played by Reala

Dex will be played by Jackle

Nina will be played by NiGHTS

Amanda will be played by LTP

Disclaimer: I don't own NiGHTS into Dreams, NiGHTS Journey of Dreams, or Sanity not Included.

Suicidal Tendencies

(opens in downtown Nightmare where NiGHTS, Reala, Jackle, and LTP are leaving a movie theater)

Jackle: *sarcastically* That was an interesting movie.

Reala: It was just f***ing stupid.

NiGHTS: How was it stupid?

Reala: OK, he teleports back in time, f***s his own mom *motions with his fingers*, kills his dad, mutates his dog into some Japanese robot type thing, goes forward in time and all of a sudden he's the prince of fairy world!

Jackle: To be fair, it was really terrible.

LTP: Really? I thought it was really good.

Jackle: To be fair, it was really good.

*the four arrive at a car*

Reala: *exasperated sigh* Just get in the car. *gets in the driver's seat*

*NiGHTS looks up and sees something on the roof of one of the buildings*

NiGHTS: What is that?

LTP: *looks around* What's what?

Jackle: *looks where NiGHTS is looking* Uh, that's a guy about to commit suicide. *opens car door* SHOTGUN IN THE FRONT!

*Jackle tries to get in the car but is blocked by NiGHTS*

NiGHTS: Whoa, whoa, whoa! You can't just leave him there!

LTP: Yeah, he's gonna die!

Reala: *pops head out window* Uh huh. Can we go?

NiGHTS: Get him down from there!

Reala: *gets out of car* Okay, easy enough.

*from the top of the building*

Reala: YOU SUCK AND NO ONE LIKES YOU!

Suicidal 'Maren: *whimpering*

Jackle: IF I WERE YOU, I'D JUMP TOO YA P****!

*back down on the ground*

Reala: Okay, if that doesn't get him down, I don't know what will.

LTP and NiGHTS: GUYS!

Jackle: Alright alright, fine. We'll get him down the nice way. *takes a microphone from out of his cape*

LTP: Aw, you're so brave Jackle!

Jackle: No, I'm just trying to save a life!

Reala: You are such a kiss ass.

Jackle: *ignoring Reala's statement* Right then, Reala! Get your guitar, let's get him down!

Reala: *positions his hands like he's holding a guitar* Yeah, next time you kiss that ass, slip it the tongue for me. *strums a few chords*

LTP: *clapping to a rhythm*

NiGHTS: What are you doing? You're gonna serenade him down from there?

Jackle: *sarcastically* Yeah, 'cause that's exactly what I'm doing. But yeah, I am.

*Reala starts playing as Jackle starts singing*

Jackle: *yelling* ~Every night in my dreams, I see you, I feel-~

Reala: *bursts out laughing and stops playing*

Jackle: Come on! What else am I gonna sing? Really?

Reala: Yeah, sure. Whatever.

Jackle: *annoyed sigh* OI! SUICIDE GUY! LISTEN UP!

*Reala starts playing again as Jackle starts singing, again*

Jackle: ~Don't kill yourself just 'cuz things aren't going your way! And if you killed yourself, that would be-~

Reala and Jackle: ~REALLY F***ING GAY!~

Jackle: ~And I really don't care, I've gotta confess.~

Reala and Jackle: ~But we've got girls that we're trying to impress!~

*NiGHTS and LTP lean against each other's backs in a pose*

Jackle: ~So if you're gonna jump, alright, so be it!~

Reala and Jackle: ~'Cuz I don't give a f***, but the way I see iiittt!~

Jackle: ~You're just being a huge~

Reala and Jackle: *falsetto voice* ~P****!~

Reala: P****, ladies and gentlemaren.

LTP: I think it's working!

Jackle: He's stepping back!

Reala: Almost!

Jackle: Come on, come on!

Reala: Almost!

*the suicidal 'Maren steps away from the edge of the roof*

Reala: ALRIGHT! YEAH!

Jackle: *laughs*

*all four cheer for their "success" in stopping the 'Maren from killing himself. LTP jumps up and glomps Jackle as NiGHTS hugs Reala*

Jackle: See? I told you I'd get him down!

NiGHTS: Guys, you're heroes!

Reala: Eh...

Jackle: Nah nah, not really...

LTP: You both did a good thing today. So who's up for ice cream?

Reala and Jackle: *fist pump* HELL YEAH!

Jackle: *opens car door* After you. *LTP gets in*

NiGHTS: I'm so proud of you!

*Reala starts the car*

LTP: So brave and-

*the suicidal 'Maren falls from the sky and crash lands on the hood of the car, killing him. The car alarm starts going off*

LTP and NiGHTS: *screaming*

Jackle and Reala: OOHH!

Reala: Okay, I guess he just got a running start.

*awkward silence, with the exception of the car alarm blaring*

Reala: ... We can still get ice cream though, right?

LTP: Yay for new episodes!

C.L.: *chirps happily*

NiGHTS: You know, a thought just occurred to me, what did you end up doing with Navi? I know you took the Mr. Saturn back to the Earthbound/Mother Universe, and you gave Piedmon that Guide Pug to lead him back to his own universe. But I don't recall seeing you take Navi back home.

LTP: Let's just say I put Navi somewhere where she won't bother anyone ever again... ever.

*at the bottom of the Dark Ocean*

Navi: *inside a glass bottle* HEY! LISTEN! LOOK! WATCH OUT!

*back on LTP's set*

LTP: *shudders* So many pointless reminders... I'll take Xanauzumaki's version of Navi over the original one any day, at least Xana's is funny!

C.L.: *trills in agreement*

Reala: That's fine and dandy, but if you're all quite done with your conversation, can we PLEASE get this body out of here before it starts to stink up the place?

Jackle: I'll get the gasoline!

LTP: I'll get the flamethrower!

Reala and NiGHTS: Why am I surrounded by crazy people?

Who is your favorite Zelda sidekick? Mine is Midna!