LTP: Oh, I love how this episode came out!

C.L.: *trills happily*

Disclaimer: LTP doesn't own NiGHTS into Dreams, NiGHTS Journey of Dreams, or the following sketch.

LTP: BOOT TO THE HEAD TIME! HELL YEAH!

Boot to the Head

(opens in a board room where NiGHTS, Reala, Jackle, Donbalon, Puffy, and Queen Bella are gathered, following the death of Wizeman the Wicked, NOT due to NiGHTS defeating him)

NiGHTS: As the executor of Wizeman's estate, I have been empowered to read Wizeman's last will and testament.

Jackle: Well get on with it, the bars open soon.

Puffy: *sob* Oh poor dear Wizeman! Waaaaaaah! *crying*

Donbalon: Oh there, there Puffy.

Reala: Wizeman, how predictably boring...

Queen Bella: I never worked for a kinder God.

NiGHTS: If we are all seated, I shall proceed with the reading.

Reala: I knew it.

Jackle: Hehehehe.

*NiGHTS takes out Wizeman's will and starts reading it aloud*

NiGHTS: 'I, Wizeman the Wicked, being of sound mind and body-'

Jackle: That's a laugh! *laughs*

NiGHTS: '-do hereby divide up my considerable estate as follows. To my overly emotional creation, Puffy...'

Puffy: AAAAAAAAAHHHH! *sobs*

Donbalon: Puffy, darling, she's talking about us.

Puffy: *suddenly calm* Oh.

NiGHTS: 'Who grubbed with her mate, Donbalon. Grubbed for everything they could get from me, and then cried crocodile tears when I needed sympathy.'

Puffy: What?

NiGHTS: 'To Puffy, I leave... a boot to the head.'

Puffy: A WHAT!?

*a boot flies from out of nowhere and hits Puffy in the head with a loud thump*

Puffy: OW!

Donbalon: Puffy, are you okay!?

NiGHTS: 'And another boot to her wimpy mate, Donbalon.'

*Donbalon gets a boot to the head*

Donbalon: OW!

Jackle: *cackling*

Puffy: This is an outrage!

NiGHTS: 'Ah... but still, you are my creation. You have both admired my Opera collection and since I no longer need it...'

Puffy: Oh dear Wizeman, he's too kind!

Donbalon: He is...

NiGHTS: 'I bequeath another boot to the head.'

Puffy: What!?

*another boot is thrown at Puffy's head*

Puffy: OW!

Jackle: *laughing*

NiGHTS: 'And one more for the wimp.'

*Donbalon gets another boot to the head*

Donbalon: OW!

NiGHTS: 'Next, to my gambling addicted creation...'

Jackle: Hey, I don't want no boot to the head!

NiGHTS: 'To dear Jackle, who has never worked a day in his psychotic life...'

Jackle: *ducks under the table* I'm covering up my head!

NiGHTS: 'I leave my wine cellar and three crates of my finest Whiskey.'

Jackle: *pops up from under the table* ... Really?

NiGHTS: 'And a boot to the head.'

*a boot is thrown at Jackle's head*

Jackle: Oh!

NiGHTS: 'And another for Puffy and the wimp!'

*boots are thrown at Puffy and Donbalon, Donbalon is knocked to the ground from the impact*

Puffy: Ah!

Donbalon: Ooh!

NiGHTS: 'Next, to my know-it-all creation, Reala...'

Reala: This is so predictable.

NiGHTS: 'I leave a boot to the head.'

*Reala gets a boot to the head*

Reala: Uuuh. I knew it...

NiGHTS: 'And one for Puffy and the Wimp.'

*Puffy and Donbalon get more boots to the head as they sink lower and lower to the ground*

Puffy: Aah!

Donbalon: Ooh!

NiGHTS: 'This takes care of family obligations. And now to Queen Bella...'

Queen Bella: Oh-huh, I don't want nothing, uh heh.

NiGHTS: 'Who took care of me faithfully these many, many years... Who cared, made me laugh, brought me tea...'

Queen Bella: Oh I didn't mind...

NiGHTS: 'To Queen Bella, I bequeath... a boot to the head.'

*a boot is thrown at Queen Bella's head*

Queen Bella: Uuuh!

NiGHTS: 'And one for Puffy and the wimp!'

*Puffy and Donbalon, who are hiding under the table, get booted to the head yet again*

Puffy: AAH!

Donbalon: OOH!

NiGHTS: 'And so to my cat, Clawz, I leave my entire vast- boot to the head!'

*Clawz gets a boot to the head off-screen*

Clawz: *off-screen* Meeeoooooooorrreeeeaaaarrrrr!

NiGHTS: 'And finally to NiGHTS, who has helped me on this will... I leave not a boot to the head, but a rabid Tasmanian Devil to be place IN HER TIGHTS!?'

*vicious snarling and growling is heard from NiGHTS' tights*

NiGHTS: *groaning and pained noises* 'AND! AND I LEAVE MY ENTIRE ESTATE OF TEN MILLION DOLLARS TO THE PEOPLE OF NIGHTMARE SO THEY AFFORD TO MOVE SOMEWHERE DECENT!' *gasps and hunches over the table*

*snarling and growling stops*

Donbalon: I-is that it?

Reala: That's it!?

Jackle: That's disgraceful!

Donbalon: *off-screen* It's terrible...

NiGHTS: There's one last thing for everyone.

Jackle: Cover your heads everybody!

NiGHTS: 'I leave everyone a lifetime supply of ice cream.'

Donbalon: Ice cream?

Jackle: Ice cream?

Reala: Ice cream? That's all?

NiGHTS: That's all.

Queen Bella: Well what flavor is it?

NiGHTS: BOOT TO THE HEAD!

*everyone gets bombarded with boots to the heads*

LTP: Is there anything more satisfying than tossing a boot at someone's face?