I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!

July 27, 2006

Dear Atem

I can't describe how it feels with you gone. The others are happy with their current lives. Yugi is a college student studying archaeology. Who would have guessed that was the path he would take? When I asked him about it he said that once he graduated he would look into being stationed in Egypt for a while. He said it made him feel closer to you.

In my grief I had forgotten that he mourns your loss almost as much as I do, if not more. You shared with him a bond not even I can fully understand. He lost a brother that day. A friend, a confidant. And yet he still has the ability to smile every day. I don't know how he does it.

Joey and Tristan are following a career path in business. I'd like to think they've both grown up but I know there's more at work there. I think they're both seeing someone. I'm assuming their decision to go to business school wasn't theirs at all, but of the people who they love and who love them back. With Joey, it isn't hard to guess that that person is Mai. I don't know why he's keeping it a secret though. I assume Tristan is dating Serenity. I understand why he has to keep it a secret. If Joey were to find out he'd go ballistic.

They're all stepping forward. I am too. But when no one is watching, in the darkest part of the night, I still give in to the tears that are haunting me. I let go of all the pain I still feel at losing you.

You probably won't understand why I'm still giving in to my feelings even after all this time. The truth is that I feel closer to you when I write these letters. It's silly but they're my link to you. My only link.

In these letters I find my courage, not to deal with the way my life has turned out, but to tell you how I feel. Even now I'm a little reluctant to divulge the depths of my feelings for you. It's because they're feelings for a man who never existed in my time.

Put that way I suppose it does make these letters a bit redundant. I mean, who are they for? In my heart you receive all these letters from me even though I know it's impossible.

But the truth is that I'm afraid, Atem. I'm afraid to let go. When I ask myself why, I don't have an answer. All I feel is fear. Fear that I'll forget what you look like. And I don't want that. Not yet. Please, let me bask in this madness a bit longer.

Yours Truly

Tea