I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!

November 18, 2011

Dear Atem

This is so hard for me. I don't know where to begin. I find it so difficult to let go of you, even after all these years. I guess that's the kind of impact you made on me when you became my friend. And even though I wanted something more…

I don't want to delay the inevitable, Atem. I have to let you go. I have to let you go emotionally. You will always have a piece of my heart, and somehow I think you knew that, but it's time I stopped pretending everything is going to be okay because it isn't. I know it's going to get better than this, but right now, concerning you, nothing is ever going to be better. Because you're gone. You're gone forever, and I never got the chance to tell you how I felt. I still don't think it would have changed your final decision. I think you would have still left, knowing that I…

It's too late, Atem. I can't say the words I longed to all those years ago. I can't even write them down. Ironically it's a betrayal to my heart. And to the other who currently resides there.

I'm getting married today, Atem. In a few hours actually. It's the crack of dawn and I'm sitting and writing this letter that I know will never reach you. I'm even crying and I can't see the lines of the page anymore. And yet I still write. I have to finish it. I have to put an end to it. I have to close the door on my past, even though that past includes you. If I don't do that I don't think I will ever be able to move on.

Please don't think ill of me for doing this. I know you would have wanted the same, if not sooner. I just couldn't. I was too emotionally messed up after you left. I…felt too much to see past my own misery. I didn't realise who I was hurting in the process. But now that I'm finally beginning to see clear again, I know where I'm headed, I know the future I'm headed toward. I would have liked it to be different but it's a future without you. I had to cope. I had to survive. And in the midst of it all I met someone who makes me feel the way you once did.

At first it hurt so much. His smile is like yours once was. I thought it was because I wanted him to be you so badly I was conjuring things up in my head. But even Yugi and the others mentioned how similar he actually was to you. Believe it or not, I didn't want a replacement. I wanted the real thing. I avoided him like the plague until he came right out and asked me why I was acting so indifferent when he clearly was falling for me. I broke, spilling every secret I ever held in my heart about you, secrets that not even our dearest friends knew about, or could even fathom the depths of.

At the end of it I thought he would leave but he did the most amazing thing. He burst out laughing and bumped his forehead against mine, calling me a silly fool for ever comparing the two of you. He promised he wouldn't ever up and leave me if we started seeing each other. I know that isn't fair to you, that you had to leave because you were so lonely and longed for something that I couldn't give you. Your freedom. For millennia you were trapped in a cage, not knowing who you were or what you were doing there. It hurt me to see you so confused and alone. But you never gave up, did you. You just kept getting back up every time something knocked you down, whether it was Kaiba, or Marik, or Bakura. I admired that strength in you, Atem. It gave me the courage to start my life anew.

At least, that's what I'm going to do. So this is my last letter to you, Atem. With it I hope to leave behind all the hurt from the past. All these letters, all these years, all these wasted tears…they are all proof that you existed, that you were alive. It's something that will live on, even after we all have perished. You gave all of us the courage to face the future without you. And look at us now. Joey and Mai have just gotten back from their honeymoon. Yugi told me last week he was planning to propose to Rebecca on the anniversary of their first date. Tristan and Serenity have been going solid for years. And I'm about to get married. We're all moving forward with the world, we're all moulding into what we wanted to become, but that doesn't mean we will ever forget you and what you've done for us. You've touched our lives in a way that I can't even begin to thank you for, but I will try.

Thank you, Atem. Thank you for everything. Thank you for believing in us more than we believed in ourselves. Thank you for giving us the strength to stand by your side. And lastly, thank you for giving us the right to call you our friend.

I will never forget you.

Yours Truly…

A Month Later

"Are you sure you want to do this, Tea?" Yugi asked, coming to stand beside the brunette at the railing at the end of the pier in Domino City harbour overlooking the ocean.

Tea smiled, one that after all these years finally reached her eyes, really reached her eyes. He supposed things were going well in her marriage. He hadn't seen her this happy since…Atem. It broke his heart after to see her going through the pain of losing him alone, but back then they were all caught up in their own grief, too unaware of the others' pain until it was too late.

Even at her wedding he had finally seen her let go. She looked so happy, and so beautiful, as she walked down the aisle in her white wedding gown. It was nice to see that the happiness wasn't feigned for the sake of the day. He wanted her to be happy, as happy as he was with Rebecca, and he was at peace having at last gotten a glimpse of that happiness to certify that it was real enough for him and that it would last for a long time.

"Yes, Yugi," Tea said softly, tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ear. "I'm sure about this. When I penned that last letter I already knew what I was going to do with them. Keeping these letters will always keep a part of me chained to him, and I don't want that. It won't be fair to me or to my husband."

She reached down and lifted up the knapsack at her feet. She unlatched the clasp and peered inside. Every letter she had ever written to Atem was in the bag. It was almost overflowing with stories to a person who would never get the chance to read them. It made her sad for a moment that he would never know how well their lives had turned out, but somewhere deep inside her, she knew he knew everything that had happened and she smiled. She was doing the right thing.

The wind picked up, unravelling wisps of Tea's hair from her ponytail. It ruffled Yugi's jacket. But they stood as one at the railing. She held the bag over the railing and with one quick move, flipped it upside down. The letters streamed out, fluttering in the wind as it carried them across the ocean.