Jackle: WHY ISN'T LTP BACK YET!?
NiGHTS: Jackle don't tell me you forgot the flow of time in the Waking world is different from our world.
Jackle: Oh yeah...
Reala: How much longer is the Phil going to be here?
*camera pans to a giant black Velociraptor with red flame designs on its body, and a metal collar around its neck, ankles and tail. Phil is next to Cinder as the two eat the corpse of Jackle's meat dragon*
NiGHTS: Sun did say he would leave on his own accord, so we simply have to wait. In the meantime however, let's get on with the show!
Reala: LTP doesn't own NiGHTS into Dreams, NiGHTS Journey of Dreams or Dick Figures.
Planet Ass****
(open in Downtown Nightmare where Jackle sits at a table holding a burrito)
Jackle: Oh, sweet burrito, your black beans and rice make my tummy feel nice, and my butthole burn.
*an alien tractor-beam picks up the burrito*
Jackle: The fu-? Wait, no! NO! Burrito, come back! Don't leave me!
*he cries, then Reala walks up with his own burrito*
Reala: Dude, what happened to your burrito?
Jackle: Aliens abducted it!
Reala: Oh, that. Well, they better not drop it off in my shoes again, d***.
Jackle: No, seriously! There was this light and then a WHOOSH and then-
*Two aliens appear from the tractor-beam*
Red alien: Greetings, Dream Creatures.
Blue alien: I am Der. This is Eulb.
*Jackle and Reala gasp*
Eulb: We come bearing gifts. Just kidding. We're here to kill you.
Reala: Oh, s***!
Der: Just kidding. We come in search of food.
Eulb: We have scoured the galaxy in seach for acceptable sustenance.
Der: We traveled to the cloud world of QB-13 Beta and their food was like... meh.
Eulb: We also tried the fire planet Ablusphormat, but we were farting for 7,000 lunar cycles.
Reala: Where are you guys from?
Eulb: We are from the planet Al-bu-quer-que.
Reala: You mean Albuquerque?
Eulb: No, Al-bu-quer-que.
Der: Your Night Dimension food tubes were the most delicious thing we have discovered.
Jackle: You mean burritos?
Der: Yes, we demand you give us all your burrito tubes or we'll kill you. Just kidding, but not. We are a humor race.
Jackle: *to Reala* These guys can't tell a joke to save their life!
Eulb: Oh, yeah? How 'bout this one? A human traveled to a planet that was hostile to his carbon-based life support systems. He perished abruptly. The humor is in his termination.
*Eulb and Der laugh*
Jackle: *weakly* Ha...
Eulb: See? We're not so different, you and I. You breathe oxygen through your mouths and out of your butts.
*Jackle smiles*
Eulb: We breathe oxygen through our butts and into our brains which powers a miniature nuclear reactor.
*Jackle smiles bigger*
Der: We are the same!
Jackle: *to Reala* Dude, let's totally mess with these guys!
Reala: Yeah, yeah!
*time lapse. All four stand around a toilet*
Jackle: This is how we wash our faces!
*Jackle and Reala giggle as Eulb gives himself a swirlie*
Jackle: *whispering to Reala* I just pooped in there!
*time lapse. They stand on the side of a highway*
Reala: To relax, we jump in front of these metal boxes.
Der: Okay. *jumps in the road and gets run over* Excellent. I feel soft everywhere.
*time lapse. They stand in front of a brick wall somewhere*
Jackle: To reproduce, we kick each other in the stomach, like this. *kicks Reala in the stomach* You're pregnant!
Reala: *groans in pain*
Der: *to Eulb* You are pregnant. *kicks Eulb in the stomach*
Eulb: Ow.
Jackle: *laughs*
*time lapse*
Eulb: Your Nightmaren ways are strange.
Der: And painful.
Jackle: *laughs* Are you kidding? We don't actually kick each other in the stomach, we were just messing with you guys!
Eulb: Mmmm. Define messing.
Jackle: You know: Joshin', playin', goofin', foolin', screwin', f***in'.
Reala: We were mocking you.
*silence for a few seconds, somber music plays*
Der: Nooooo.
Eulb: You were mocking us?
Jackle: How could we not!?
Reala: Seriously, you guys were totally asking for it!
Der: Negative.
Eulb: *upset* How dare you mocking us?
Jackle: *laughs* Come on, man! Don't be such a puss about it!
Eulb: Don't make fun of us, we are weak!
Der: Our species is powered by self-esteem. You are killing us.
*Jackle and Reala burst out laughing*
Eulb: You guys are d***s!
Der: Yeah!
Eulb: We were just going to collect all of your food tubes and leave, but now we are going to rename your world in the galactic database...
Der: To Planet Ass****.
Reala: Go for it!
Jackle: Yeah, yeah, that sounds awesome.
Eulb: We hate you!
Der: We are going to reroute an asteroid into your world's orbital path!
*Jackle and Reala stop laughing*
Der: Prepared to be destroyed in 86 million Earth years!
*Jackle and Reala resume laughing as the aliens depart*
Jackle: Oh, my Wizeman, can you believe those guys?
Reala: What douchebags!
*All the burritos begin to be picked up by the aliens' tractor beam*
Street Artist 'Maren 1: *holding onto a telephone wire* Naw! Not our food tubes!
Street Artist 'Maren 2: No!
Jackle: No! Not the burritos! You bastards! Not the burritos!
*the aliens laugh as they abduct the burritos. Suddenly, they get hit by an asteroid*
REVIEW FOR FOOD TUBES! Also happy Thanksgiving!