LTP: I don't know why, but I really enjoyed doing this one. Anyway, I do not own NiGHTS into Dreams, NiGHTS Journey of Dreams, or Sanity not Included.

Lyle will be played by Reala

Dex will be played by Jackle

Nina will be played by NiGHTS

Teach me

(opens in a fast food restaurant in Nightmare)

Reala: Okay, run this by me again. You're hanging out with me because... ?

NiGHTS: I just, felt like I had to get out of the castle. You know?

Reala: What and leave Jackle alone there?

*at Nightmare castle*

Jackle: NiGHTS? Reala? Oh my Wizeman! I am going to touch everything in their rooms!

*back with NiGHTS and Reala*

Reala: You do know he's gonna mess with your stuff, right?

NiGHTS: Why do you always assume things like that?

Reala: Because they usually happen. *turns to the employee* Yeah give me a double Murkaburger with- *recognizes employee, who is Selph* ah f***.

Selph: Hey-hey! Dude! I haven't seen you in forever man!

Reala: Yeah, that was kind of intentional.

Selph: Wow dude, you're still a d***!

Reala: *crosses arms and smirks* Wow dude, you're still working at a fast food restaurant?

Selph: *gets in Reala's face* HEY! You know what I think?

Reala: That taking a simple order is really, really hard? Which I'm assuming is why you're having so much trouble with it?

Selph: ... *puts in order*

*a burger comes out a second later*

Reala: Yeah, that's what I thought. *takes food* D****.

NiGHTS: How can you do things like that?

Reala: Um... naturally?

NiGHTS: Teach me.

Reala: Huh?

NiGHTS:*crosses arms* Whenever some annoying jackass starts talking to me-

Annoying Jackass: *offscreen* SHOW US YOUR TITS!

NiGHTS: -Which happens a lot, I can't ever seem to be able to get them to piss off for some reason. Please, teach me how to be a b****!

Reala: It's really not that hard. *sets food down* Here, try tearing me a new one.

NiGHTS: The one time you're actually nice?

Reala: See? I'm way the f*** out of my element too, and I'm doing alright so far. *exasperated sigh* Okay, you don't like Nicholas Cage right?

NiGHTS: God, no!

Reala: Well, pretend I'm Nicholas Cage.

NiGHTS: I don't see how-

*Reala pops up next to NiGHTS, cross-eyed*

Reala: *mocking Nick Cage voice* Hey, I'm Nicholas Cage, I hear you don't like my movies.

NiGHTS: They're... not very good?

Reala: *eyes go back to normal* NiGHTS, if you give Nicholas Cage an inch, he'll take a mile. Meaner!

NiGHTS: They suck.

Reala: Meaner.

NiGHTS: They suck because you're in them.

Reala: THAT'S IT! Uh, *clears throat, goes cross-eyed again while speaking in mocking Nick Cage voice again* You know nothing of Nicholas Cage! I, Nicholas Cage, am the greatest!

NiGHTS: Oh yeah, you're a real master in the craft of taking lame roles, speaking in monotone, looking like you just shot up on horse tranquilizers with that dumb droopy-eyed facial expression! THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE GREAT AT NICHOLAS CAGE! *get's in Reala's face, who's eyes are normal again* THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE GREAT AT YOU ASS***!

Reala: Okay this actually getting kinda weir-

NiGHTS: SHUT THE F*** UP! *tosses Reala at a table a customer is sitting at, destroying it*

Customers: OH S***!

Reala: AAAHH!

NiGHTS: *realizes what just happened* Oh my God I'm sorry!

Reala: Ah, ah, don't apologize for that. That defeats the purpose. Speaking of which. *points at floor* IS ANYONE GOING TO CLEAN THIS UP!?

Selph: *off screen* F*** YOU MAN!

Reala: *laughs* Brilliant.

NiGHTS: Wait, I did it!

Reala: *gets up and casually pulls a screw out of his arm* Yeah, feels good don't it?

NiGHTS: Wow, yeah! Now I think I totally get why you always- Jackle is touching everything in my room right now isn't he?

Reala: Probably.

*NiGHTS and Reala exchange looks, then run out of the restaurant*

LTP: And that's the end of this week's episode!

*Jackle runs by*

Jackle: *mad laughter* MY MIND IN ON FIRE! NIPPLE SALADS! NIPPLE SALADS! *more mad laughter*

NiGHTS: ... Okay, I think Jackle's enjoying Borderlands 2 a little too much.