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Chapter 12
(Mercedes' P.O.V.)
"Ok – just remember you said you were prepared." I watched his every movement as he slowly closed the short distance between us. He stood so close. I watched as he deliberately placed his hands on my hips – his fingers wrapping in the belt loops of my jeans. Tugging me even closer, he leaned in nice and tight before whispering in my ear. "Right now…I'm thinking about how very much I want to take that sweet soft mouth of yours in a long hard wet kiss."
Ok – he was right I wasn't prepared!
Not prepared doesn't begin to cover how I was feeling. Did John Cena just say that he wanted to kiss me? "No you idiot!" My little inner voice screamed "he said that he wanted to take your mouth in a long hard wet kiss – there is a difference you know." Yes my inner voice picks the worst times to yell at me – it's like advice now – yell later. What am I supposed to say – he just admitted he wants to kiss me and I don't have a damned clue what I'm supposed to say.
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(John's P.O.V.)
Prepared my ass – No way in hell little Mercedes was prepared for that! Stepping in even closer – completely invading her personal space I gave her a fleeting smile. I wanted this. Right this second, I wanted this more than I wanted my next breath. Even a blind man could see the uncertainty – perhaps confusion in her eyes. A true gentleman might have backed away; maybe given her some space. Fuck that – I never said I was a gentleman.
I was going to kiss her of that much I was absolutely certain. Would I spook her in the process – probably but that was a chance that I was willing to take. "I tried" I whispered as my fingers knotted tighter at her waist. "I tried to tell you…don't ask… so much you shouldn't ask…yet here we are" I suddenly felt hyper-aware of everything and nothing all at once. My words…hell my own voice seemed almost foreign to me. The uncertainty in her eyes increased as did her breathing. She wasn't as immune to me as she liked to think. The rapid rise and fall of her chest was nearly hypnotic as it betrayed her.
My left hand jerked at her hip pulling her as flush and tight against me as I could. I slid my right hand up from her hip – up the side of her body. The way she trembled at my touch was nearly my undoing. My fingers drifted along her cheek – gently caressing. Slipping my hand under her chin I forced her to meet my gaze. I watched with hungry primal eyes as she tugged her lower lip between her teeth. I wanted to tug that lower lip of hers between my teeth. "If you want out – say it now!" I warned. I gave her an out; all she had to do was say the word. Her soft ragged sigh, the flush of her cheeks, her rapid breathing, the gentle trembling of her body; she never said a word. I couldn't wait any longer.
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(Mercedes P.O.V.)
I'd never seen such intensity; all of it focused on me. Pure emotion dominated his clear blue eyes. It was too much too fast. I couldn't look him in the eye. His words rattled me. "I tried" he whispered as his fingers tightened along my hips. "I tried to tell you" he murmured. He seemed almost sad when he spoke again. "Don't ask… so much you shouldn't ask…yet here we are." His words left more questions than answers. I felt his hand lingering against my hip. He was suddenly everywhere. He invaded my personal space and took over. I could feel my breathing growing shallow and rapid – my body betraying me. His hands on my hips were intense. When his right hand trailed up my ribs I began to tremble. Did he know – was the trembling as obvious as I thought? A few words – a simple caress and my emotions were all over the map. Nothing had ever felt like this before. A small part of me wanted to scream in frustration and confusion.
As his fingers glided across my cheek – I wanted to scream. I couldn't look him in the eye. I was terrified of what he might see in my eyes; oh worse what he wouldn't see. His hand slipped under my chin – forcing me to meet his gaze. I wanted to turn – to run but I couldn't. Tugging my lip between my teeth, I tried to look into his eyes. The hungry primal man watching me in return left me speechless. My body continued to tremble at his touch.
"If you want out – say it now!" He's words as serious a warning as I had ever heard. This was my chance. This was my out. All I had to do was open my mouth and speak. I could turn and walk away. Our relationship wouldn't have to change. So why didn't I? Why didn't I run when I had the chance? Instead I stood there my breathing ragged and shallow, my cheeks flushed, my body trembling in equal parts fear and anticipation.
His lips a soft gentle caress – barely a whisper across my mouth. Once, twice, three times his lips nothing more than bare whispers across my mouth. It was as intoxicating as it was painful. I didn't know if the urge to scream was so he would stop or not. I couldn't do this. He couldn't possible want me this way. I opened my mouth – looking for the right words.
Suddenly he took my face in his hands as he showed me what a long hard wet kiss really was his. He took my mouth; his tongue darting in and out of my mouth; imitating a deeper, darker, more primal act. Without warning my mind screamed "why me?" I could feel my doubts, my past, and my nightmares creeping in – taking over. I couldn't do this. I couldn't bear anymore. I pulled back. "John please….please just stop."
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(John's P.O.V.)
I didn't want to spook her – honest I didn't but I had to taste her. God knows I wanted to be gentle. I needed to give her time to adjust. My first "kiss" was barely a kiss at all. My mouth barely whispered across hers. I needed for my mind and body to get on the same damned page – not likely tonight. I managed two more soft barely there kisses. Then she opened her mouth. I knew she was wanted to speak – to possibly object. I wasn't ready – I couldn't hear her right that I second. No, in that moment I needed to taste her all of her. I took her mouth in soft deep kiss. I couldn't stop my tongue from sliding in and out. I could feel her hands wrapped tightly in the cotton ends of my t-shirt along my waist. I wanted to rip the t-shirt from my body. I wanted to feel her hands all over my body. I wanted to scream. The dark tumultuous thoughts skittering through my head would certainly scare her off for good. I needed to slow down to regain some semblance of control. Without warning she pulled back her words pleading and broken "John please….please just stop."
Wrapping my arms around her, I pulled her tight against my chest. Her face immediately buried against me. After a moment maybe two I felt her trembling ease some. I heard her begin to murmur – disjointed words – random thoughts really. Pulling back, I tilted her chin up "Mercedes" I questioned?
"I can't do this John," her words barely more than a whisper, her voice quivering with every syllable. "I need for us to be friends John. Friendship…"she began her words trailing off as she looked away.
I wanted to scream to pummel my fists against the wall. Standing here in my arms, with lips red, wet, and trembling from my kisses and she wanted to talk to me about friendship. Images of her naked spread out across the top of the pool table like a veritable buffet had haunted me for the last hour and a half. I wasn't feeling very damned friendly at all.
Fuck that! She wants so badly to deny this….this whatever the fuck this is between us then she can damn well look me in the eye when she does it.
Tucking my hand under her chin I smiled brief and bitter returning her gaze to mine. "You want to lie to yourself Mercedes you go right ahead. If you plan on lying to me at least look me in the eye when you do."
"I'm not lying," she defended "It's the truth John and you know it!"
"It's the truth – Really?" I questioned before pushing "You stand here in my arms trembling I stopped – closing my eyes for a brief moment maybe more.
"I'm not lying to you John. I wouldn't…" she protested once more.
"Yeah baby-girl you are. Your lying if you think friendship is all there is between us." I returned cutting her off.
"What's wrong with friendship?" Her words were cautious. I could hear the nervous undertones painting every word.
"Nothing" I retorted a little more sarcastic than intended. "There's nothing wrong with friendship. If that's all there was between me and you I would expect it, but it isn't. There is so much more between us and you know it."
"John please don't" she pleaded.
"Don't what Mercedes feel this?" I demanded grabbing her. Wrapping my hands around her upper arms I jerked her tight – flush against me once more. That first kiss – I held back. I didn't want to scare her. This kiss – let's just say I was a little past giving a damn. I nearly growled as I took her mouth in a brutal punishing kiss. My tongue all but attacked her mouth. I couldn't bring myself to stop I wanted to taste every inch of her wet delicious mouth.
Something inside me snapped as I heard a soft mewling escape her. I pulled back. I could see the fear, questions without answers, and more importantly the need painted in her deep dark eyes. Yeah that kiss scared her, but she felt it. And whether she admitted it or not she wanted more.
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(Mercedes P.O.V.)
"John please….please just stop!" I pleaded unsure of my own thoughts and emotions at the moment. In an instant I was wrapped up in his arms. I knew I should object. I knew I should pull away. At that moment though, the thought of pulling away was too much. I couldn't face him, not yet, so I did the next best thing I buried my face in his chest.
I had to say something. I needed him to understand. Opening my mouth I started to speak once, twice, three times. My thoughts incomplete – random babble. I prayed he would understand, even if I didn't. I prayed to find the words to make him see. Why did this have to be so damned hard I wondered as he whispered my name? "I can't do this John," I whispered, silently pleading for him to understand. "I need for us to be friends John. Friendship…" My words trailed off as anger and frustration painted his features. I nearly panicked when he forced me to meet his flashing gaze. "You want to lie to yourself Mercedes you go right ahead. If you plan on lying to me at least look me in the eye when you do."
"I'm not lying," angry that I had to defend myself. Why couldn't he just understand my feelings "It's the truth John and you know it!"
"It's the truth – Really?" he questioned. Without giving an inch he pushed on "You stand here in my arms trembling," he stopped looking away. He was right I was trembling. My emotions were bubbling so close to the surface. I prayed I could get through this without tears.
"I'm not lying to you John. I wouldn't…" I pleaded praying for his understanding.
He flashed me an almost angry smile as if that made any sense before pushing "Yeah baby-girl you are. Your lying if you think friendship is all there is between us."
"What's wrong with friendship?"
His eyes flashed arrogant and annoyed "Nothing" he shot back sarcastically, "There's nothing wrong with friendship. If that's all there was between me and you I would expect it, but it isn't. There is so much more between us and you know it."
"John please don't" I pleaded. I was more than ready for the floor beneath to simply swallow me whole.
"Don't what Mercedes - feel this?" he demanded. Grabbing me he wrapped his hands around my upper arms and jerked me flush against his hard body. The way he grabbed me, his words, his scent, his mere presence it was all so damned overwhelming – I couldn't breathe. He looked as though he were about to speak – a low near growl his only sound. A mere instant later he claimed me with a deep brutal, terrifying, amazingly erotic kiss.
His kiss drove every thought from my mind save one. I was certain that I'd heard a strange noise coming from somewhere close by. A strange thought when a gorgeous six foot one man is kissing….wait a minute that strange noise was me. That strange mewling sound was me. I brushed hot scarlet as he pulled back.
Burying my face in my hands I tried to cover the hot blush painting my cheeks. He would have none of it. Lightly he pulled my hands away from my face. "Tell me again you don't feel that Mercedes? Tell me you're still trembling from my touch?" Casting a glance downward, his eyes rested briefly across my chest. "Tell me" he demanded his voice deep and rough "that your nipples are not rock hard right now thinking about how good it could be between us?"
I was mortified. How could I continue to deny what was so painfully clear to him? "Why me John?"
I could see that my question caught him off guard. I asked once more "Why me John? Look at you – your John "freaking" Cena. You could have any damned woman you wanted – day or night. Why pick me?"
His eyes changed. It happened quickly. If I hadn't been standing practically on top of him I'm not sure I would have noticed anything at all. But I was, I noticed the raw emotion flee as something darker colder took its place. Turning loose of me quickly, I nearly stumbled at the loss of contact. Picking his pool stick up from the floor, he tossed it onto the pool table. Without really giving me much of a second glance he spoke "I think it's time we go."
Within ten minutes we had made our good byes to Kris and were headed back towards the hotel parking lot where Mack and the bus were waiting. The entire car ride lasted maybe ten or fifteen minutes – the longest ten or fifteen minutes of my life. He said nothing as we boarded the bus. Mack greeted us both with his usual happy-go-lucky greetings. John barely managed a hello for his longtime friend before pushing past us both and heading towards the back of the bus – his bedroom.
Figuring that neither of us felt much like talking anymore tonight I headed to the smaller bathroom and changed into shorts and a tank top. As I headed back towards the front of the bus; I noticed for the first time that Mack had left sheets, blankets, and a pillow on the larger of the two sofas. What a dear sweet man. At this point I was eternally grateful. I just wanted to close my eyes for a little while and pretend that everything was normal. Thanking Mack for this thoughtfulness, I collapsed on the sofa. Standing I unfolded the fluffy black and blue blanket wrapping it around my shoulders I settled back on to the sofa and waited. I knew the minute I heard John coming out of his bedroom we needed to talk. Friendship maybe all I could offer, but I didn't want to lose it. His friendship meant too much to me. I had to make him understand. I had to do something and fast. I just wish I knew what that something was. I called out "John…can we talk?
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(John's P.O.V.)
'Dammit! Why talk about it?' my mind screamed. I was angry, hell I was good and pissed off. I knew things could and would be explosive between us. After her reaction to me at the bar – I thought it was real plain. She obviously didn't see it as cut and dry as I did. Walking back into the "living area," I took a seat at the small table. I watched with hooded eyes as she crossed the way to take a seat across from me. For a long moment maybe more neither of us said anything. Reaching across the table she laced her fingers with mine "Please John, talk to me."
I almost couldn't bear the simple innocent contact. 'Fucking hell Cena you have it bad!' my head all but screamed at me; like I really needed the reminder. "What's there to talk about? I think you made yourself pretty clear at the bar. Friendship I get it! I think your lying to both of us, but it is what it is. I'm not going to sit here and beg you to change your mind."
As gently as I could I pulled my fingers free from hers. The loss of contact however minor seemed to upset her. Dammit to hell – why this woman I wondered? Why in the bloody hell did this complicated, baggage ridden, pain in the ass, sweet, scared, and sexy as hell woman have to fall into my lap. Why couldn't it be simple cut and dry black or white? I let Liz tie me up in knots. I swore it would never happen again – until now.
"John I know your angry. I just need you to try and understand. I don't want to lose what we have. Your friendship means the world to me right now. I can't lose that."
"Did I say you were going to lose me? Did I? You know Mercedes you're not the only one who wants to understand. Why not you?"
"I don't know what you mean?" she asked seemingly honestly confused.
"You asked me at the bar, Why you, now I'm asking why not you?" I retorted working to keep my words devoid of emotion.
Laying her hands on the table top, she stared at her fingers, never looking up she spoke. "You could have any girl in the world. Someone who is so much more sophisticated, smarter, prettier; someone better than me. Were just better off as friends."
Anger bubbled hot and fiery in my gut. This was insanity and it would stop now. I slammed my fist against the table top. Her head jerked up in surprise. Her finally meeting mine; good I wanted her attention. Reaching across the table easily, I grabbed her chin forcing her to look me dead in the eye. "I've had just about all I can stomach for one Mercedes. Mention friendship or down yourself one more time and I swear to God I will drag you across this table and paddle your sweet little ass. Do we understand each other?"
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(Mercedes P.O.V.)
My God! What was he doing to me? My mind screamed, a grown man just threatened to paddle my ass like a small child. I was more than a little freaked out by that. My physical reaction was for more instantaneous. My breathing grew rapid, I could feel my nipples harden painfully beneath my soft cotton tank top, and I was certain that I was growing very wet between my thighs. Here I sat trying to convince him that we should remain friends only. The second he threatens to put his hands on me my damned body becomes so aroused I can barely breathe. What the hell was he doing to me?
He held my chin in his grasp, obviously waiting for an answer. What do you say to a man whose just threatened to paddle your ass? I couldn't speak I merely nodded
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(John's P.O.V.)
The nodding of her head wasn't enough I needed her to say she understood. "Say it" I demanded "tell me you understand."
She nodded her voice the barest whisper "I get it."
"Good" I mumbled before releasing her chin from my grasp. As I settled back against the booth I watched her. After a moment I noticed; the flush of her cheeks, the rapid rise and fall of her chest, the way her nipples pebbled hard against the soft cotton of her top. Whether she admitted it or not my words had turned her on. Mercedes Levesque wanted to be paddled by me. Standing from the table, I moved to stand directly beside her. Kneeling down beside her, I whispered in her ear "When you realize that friendship will do nothing to cure the going ache between your thighs – you come find me baby-girl. I'll be waiting." With that I leaned in nipped her ear before dropping to soft wet kisses against her neck. Standing I moved away from the table heading for the bedroom I called out "Good-night Mercedes, Sweet dreams!"
Author's Note: While the previous chapter was the most fun to write – this one was night. I struggle with writing the male point of view. I hope that I painted John in the right light. I wanted to show his frustration over the situation without making him needy or whiney. Please let me know what you think, as always good, bad, or indifferent leave it in the box below. Much love xoxoxox Keeper of Oz
Author's Note: Special thanks to everyone who reviewed; Mocha, Guest, ParkAvenue, Lady Isadorra, Awesomeone21, My time is now, and Taker Always. You guys ROCK – on so many levels. Thanks again to everyone who has added to favorites or is following this little adventure. I hope you continue to read and enjoy. As always good, bad, or indifferent leave it in the box below.