Disclaimer: LTP does not own NiGHTS into Dreams, NiGHTS Journey of Dreams, or any of the following references.

Random Drabbles 11

(opens in Jackle's room during a random party)

LTP: I gotta go. My cousin might have the Chicken Pox.

Jackle: I had the Chicken Pox three times! I have no immunity to it.

Reala: We don't have the heart to tell him it's herpes.

*NiGHTS, who is sitting across Reala's lap, just rolls her eyes*

Jackle: It's not herpes if it's everywhere.

{~~~}

(opens at the front door of Nightmare castle, where a Nightmaren wearing a black suit and shades knocks on the door)

Jackle: *opens the door*

'Maren in a Suit: Are you Jackle and Reala?

Jackle: Uh, yeah.

*Reala walks by drinking milk from the gallon*

'Maren in a Suit: You two are the only Nightmarens that can help us. We need you to go on a mission to *inhales deeply* SAVE THE WORLD! *shakes head around and make weird noises*

Jackle and Reala: *excited gasp*

Reala: No. *slams door*

'Maren in a Suit: ... *lip trembles, then shoots himself in the crotch*

{~~~}

(opens in Cerberus's lair)

Reala: Come on Cerberus, let's go outside.

*Cerberus just lays on the floor, ignoring Reala*

Reala: Or stay there and pee in the castle, you're bigger than me.

{~~~}

(opens in Nightmare castle)

Reala: So how are you doing Donbalon? You following any of this whatsoever?

Donbalon: I think so. That guy NiGHTS is really a robot, and you're his boyfriend. So that makes you... a gay robot!

Reala: *sarcastically* Yeah, that's right, I'm a gay robot.

{~~~}

(opens at the Dream Gate where Jackle is being hugged to death by one of the "special" Visitors who thinks he's a bunny rabbit)

Special Visitor: Just what I always wanted! My own little bunny rabbit! I will name him George, and I will hug him and pet him and squeeze him! *tightens hug on Jackle*

Jackle: I'm not a bunny rabbit.

Special Visitor: And pat him and pet him! *squeezes Jackle some more*

Jackle: You're hurting me, put me down please.

Special Visitor: And rub him and caress him and-

Jackle: *throws arms up* I AIN'T NO BUNNY RABBIT!

{~~~}

(opens in Wizeman's throne room during a meeting when an effeminate male Nightmaren with a German accent notices NiGHTS)

Effeminate German Nightmaren: Fraulein. Fraulein. Fraulein! Hey Fraulein!

NiGHTS: *annoyed* Oi!

Effeminate German Nightmaren: ... We would make beautiful children.

NiGHTS: *eyes go wide and blushes hard*

*suddenly Reala takes out a gun and fires it through the Effeminate German Nightmaren's head, killing him*

Reala: *looking pissed* Was that boy-girl bugging you?

{~~~}

(opens in Down Town Nightmare where Selph is trying to diffuse a bomb)

Selph: *holding up a single wire* Heh, this'll be a piece of cake!

*Selph cuts the wire, but the room only gets darker, the bomb's timer is still going*

Selph: What the?

*Selph follows the wire, which is connected to a table lamp, not the bomb*

Selph: ... OH FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDGE brownies! *holds an inexplicably obtained brownie up to his face*

Music: YEEEAAAAAA-

*Down town Nightmare explodes*

{~~~}

(back in Cerberus' lair)

Reala: Ceberus, if you don't listen to me and go outside, I'ma get your leash.

Cerberus: *still laying on the floor, ignoring Reala*

Reala: Okay.

*Reala grabs a chain leash and hooks it to Cerberus' collars, he then proceeds to attempt to drag Cerberus across the floor*

Reala: YOU ARE IMPOSSIBLE!

{~~~}

(opens in Reala's room where Reala is just relaxing when suddenly a small yacht crashes through the wall with the horn blowing)

Reala: *jumps up and has a mini heart attack*

NiGHTS: *pops out of the boat* WHOOT! SPRING BREAK!

Jackle: *pops out after NiGHTS* WE JUST STOLE THIS BOAT!

Reala: Why would you steal a boat!?

*NiGHTS and Jackle float down from the boat*

NiGHTS: Who cares!? GOD!

Jackle: I have an idea! What if we all made out?

*Jackle's response is awkward silence*

Jackle: Well fine!

{~~~}

(opens in the Nightmaren castle training grounds, right after Reala and Jackle killed a bunch of ninjas. Somehow a couch got thrown into the mix)

NiGHTS: *screaming*

*Reala and Jackle turn around to see NiGHTS in a headlock by a 'Maren in a suit, who is holding a gun to her head*

'Maren in a Suit: Hehehe. I have your- your- what's your name?

NiGHTS: NiGHTS.

'Maren in a Suit: NiGHTS! I have your NiGHTS! Now you're gonna *inhales deeply* SAVE THE WORLD!

Reala: F*** THE WORLD! *shoots 'Maren in a Suit in the crotch*

'Maren in a Suit: UGH! *lets go of NiGHTS*

*NiGHTS screams as she runs away*

'Maren in a Suit: SAME SPOT, SAME SPOT!

*Jackle throws a frying pan at the 'Maren, knocking him out*

Reala: *smirks* Nice.

{~~~}

(opens in Reala's room where he and NiGHTS are watching the news from Reala's bed)

LTP: Prosecutors say next to be indicted will be Nightmaren General, Reala. Reala gave-

Reala: What? Indicted? *sits up and leans towards the TV* Indicted!?

NiGHTS: That's not fair, they made you go on that show!

*Reala gets out of his bed*

Reala: You hear what they said NiGHTS? I'm gonna be indicted.

NiGHTS: Yeah, but you only said what they told y-

Reala: Indicted NiGHTS! Indicted! *starts walking around his room* I'm gonna be indicted!

NiGHTS: No, no, It's gonna be ok-

Reala: INDICTED!

NiGHTS: Honey, Reala-

Reala: INDICTED!

NiGHTS: Honey-

Reala: I'M GONNA BE INDICTED! *runs out of the room*

NiGHTS: They can't, it's gonna be okay. Just calm down.

Reala: *runs back in* I can't calm down, I'm gonna be indicted! *runs back out* INDICTED!

{~~~}

(opeeens in Jackle's room, where NiGHTS, Reala, Selph, LTP, Jackle, Chamelon, and Donbalon are gathered for one of Jackle's "parties")

Jackle: Hold up yo, I've been saving this weed for a special occasion.

NiGHTS: What kind is this?

Jackle: This one's called the brown bomber, 'cause when you smoke it you get so stoned you s*** your pants!

LTP and Jackle: *laughing*

NiGHTS: *groans*

Chamelon: I'm not, I don't wanna do that.

Donbalon: Uh yeah, I already s*** my pants this month, so I'm good.

Jackle: Whatever.

*loud rumbling is heard, and it sounds like footsteps*

Selph: Uh, what the f*** was that!?

Jackle: That's a present LTP and I got for Reala!

*LTP laughs manically as the footsteps get louder*

Reala: Dude a bag of weed would've been fine!

*elephant's trumpet is heard, followed by monkey chattering*

Jackle: YEAH MONKEY! KARATE CHOP THE ELEPHANT!

LTP: For anyone wondering how we managed to keep Cerberus from biting Reala's head off, we drugged him with enough tranquilizer to take down a stampeding herd of bull elephants. Even now his snoring is shaking Nightmare castle.