I'm not dead yet.
This chapter... it's a weird one, guys. I've always wanted to do one like this, and the opportunity finally showed up. Now, whether or not this is the "good" kind of weird or the "hideous" kind of weird is all up to you. So grab yourself a seat, sift through that basket of candy you were supposed to give to kids, and enjoy.
Chapter 24
The Good Girl
"Gah!" Anna sucked in a sharp breath; her entire arm was positively alight with searing pain, and it took all of her willpower not to just scream loud enough to rattle the entire Palace. "Ow! Owowowow..."
A pair of rounded, wire-framed spectacles flashed before the Princess' eyes. The doctor sniffed dispassionately through his hawkish nose, irritated that Anna was disrupting his work, and continued applying alcohol to her skin. "With all due respect, Your Highness, you've been at this for almost ten minutes now. Would you please give it a rest?"
Anna wriggled in defiance, lifting her reddened arm up for view. "Can you at least put something that doesn't feel like you're setting my hand on fire? They're just scratches!"
The doctor chuckled darkly. "Not unless you want this thing to go septic."
"Huh?"
The doctor grinned manically behind his glasses, further increasing his resemblance to an oversized raptor. "Those 'little scratches' of yours will quickly change into... interesting shades of colors if left alone for too long." Twiddling his fingers, he added: "Yellows, purples, pinks and red, soon it would turn black and rot. You might as well be a walking corpse, filling the air you walk with the incredible stench of your pustule-riddled hand. You'd be bedridden from your own blood poisoning you. If you were ever to stand a chance at survival at that point, I would have to saw your infected arm of, and neither of us are too excited about that prospect. Isn't that right?"
The redhead merely stayed in her seat, open-mouthed and bug-eyed.
The doctor sighed to himself in satisfaction, and finished his procedure without further interruption. With deft hands, he quickly wrapped the Princess' arm in gauze. "Alright Your Highness, you're done! That wasn't too difficult, was it?" he remarked cheerily, patting the bandage. Standing up to gather his supplies, he hardly paid attention to the door creaking open behind him.
Anna immediately snapped out of her stupor. The newcomer could potentially be anyone, but she needed the news on how everyone else had been faring. Perhaps shamefully, she as hoping on the entrant being either Elsa or Kristoff; sure, she knew they were among those who'd collapsed at the very end of the Bergrisi's rampage, but there was nothing wrong with believing the two had woken up sometime while she was stuck in this room.
...Right?
A cold draft entered through the crack in the doorway, blowing in a few flakes of silvery powder. Anna coiled in her seat to pounce the newcomer...
...Only for the person to enter carrot nose-first, followed by the rest of his snowy body. The enchanted flurry Elsa had made for him enthusiastically followed the region above his head like a loyal pet. Olaf looked round curiously, noticed Anna, and grinned at her.
Anna pounced the snowman anyway.
"Whoa ho-ho! Hey there, Anna?" Olaf chortled with a wide grin. "What's up with you?"
The redhead squeezed tightly, burying her face into the little figure's shoulder. She could feel the snowflakes from his personal cloud land on her skin and settling in her hair. "I'm just glad to see you again..." she mumbled.
Olaf beamed, and wrapped his twig arms around Anna's body. "Yeah, I'm happy to see you too." He cocked his head to a side, and then asked, "Hey, did you hear all that ruckus going on beyond the castle walls? I was hanging out with Sven when I heard all those crashes outside. I tried asking some of the guards about it, but they seemed so hush-hush." He looked around conspiratorially, and leaned closer to Anna's ear. "I think they were trying to set fireworks without your knowledge."
"Olaf, I was there."
"Oh... right! So then, how did it go?"
Anna's mouth opened up to answer the question, her mind still fresh on the Bergrisi's last breath... and then her blue eyes flitted over to the sole window in the room. Sunlight no longer entered through its triangular frame, not that she expected anything to pierce through the smog plaguing the kingdom.
Night had fallen.
Everything... all the blood, sweat, tears and pain Anna and her friends had to go through... It was all for nothing.
The Princess shook her head violently, prompting a curious look from the little snow golem. Keep it together, Anna. You're still alive and kicking, aren't you? You've come this far! Just because it's nighttime doesn't mean I should drop everything yet. Now think!
"Okay..." Anna rubbed at her temples, and turned her attention back to the snowman. Steeling herself for the worst possible outcome, she squeezed her eyes close, and swallowed. "Olaf... how is Elsa and Kristoff?"
"Well! Uh... You know, they're alright...-ish?" he answered, making a so-so gesture. "I mean, they could be better, could be worse- no, wait..."
Anna blinked. It was an absurdly shoddy job on Olaf's part, but he was actually trying to dodge the question. The rarity of such a situation was setting alarm bells off the Princess' head. "Please Olaf, I must know how they are doing!"
The snowman held his hands out in front of him, panic beginning to touch the edges of his voice. Another rarity. "Anna, you should stay here and wait for the rest of your injuries to heal! You look pretty banged up, even in comparison to the others-"
"Olaf!"
The snowman smiled valiantly at Anna with reassurance, a grin as wide as his cheeks would let him. His left eye twitch maybe one too many times... three seconds passed in strained silence... and then Olaf completely broke down. His face fell in less than a second, and he let out a long deflated sigh that even caused the snow flurry to sag. Anna can count the number of times he looked this dejected with only one hand, and not even requiring that many fingers.
"Well... Helge is taking care of them. He woke up about half an hour ago, you know?" the snowman explained.
Anna nodded. "And?"
"He's working really, really hard right now, reading through books, muttering to himself, and generally just running all over the place. It's almost scary, they way he seemed to be so involved in... whatever he's doing."
Anna's entire body relaxed with a sigh. If that little troll was hard at work, all wasn't lost just yet. "Are... are they with him? Can I see them right now?"
"H-Hey!"
Anna and Olaf snapped their heads towards the outburst; the bespectacled, intimidating doctor had been listening in on the conversation between the Princess and the little snow abomination out of curiosity, but only at this moment chosen to speak up. "Your Highness, shouldn't you be getting yourself a proper rest!?"
Anna raised her hands up in protest. "It's only for a little bit, Mister. I'll be back soon, honest! I just need to stretch my legs out for a bit." Averting her eyes away from the man glaring daggers at her, she turned back to the little snowman. "Show me the way, pleae."
Olaf hopped once in place, saluting by digging his stick hand a little too deep into his forehead. "Right this way, Anna!"
It would be horrible of me to leave my favorite assistant and her friends die, no?
Huh... you were right. We do need more people like her running around...
Why don't you come with me and have a listen?
Do you see how beautiful you are? How much courage and love you possess?
Elsa, look out!
...
Elsa didn't really know how long she had slept, how much time had passed until she finally regained consciousness. A scrambled mess of voices and images buzzed beneath her closed eyelids, playing confusedly over and over again before finally fading away like dying embers. The events that could have inspired them seemed to bizarre and unbelievable; pretending to be someone she's not? A giant monster? A rampaging ghost? But still... there was just something about these that kept her from assuming everything was just a vivid dream.
The platinum-blonde breathed in through her nose, slowly gathering her bearings. Elsa first gained awareness of the solid floor pressing against her head and backside, which was a little odd considering how comfortable her body felt right now. Elsa felt so relaxed in fact, she was in half a mind to just nod off once more. Besides, she couldn't detect anyone else in the-
"...Hehahaha!"
...same room.
I may be imagining things, but was that... a child laughing?
...
Nobody answered her back.
The ensuing silence bothered the platinum-blonde a little more than she liked. This entire atmosphere was missing something, and her sense of loneliness compounded into something that was almost as tangible as it was terrifying. Unnerved, Elsa peeled her eyes open, and promptly gasped.
She was staring at a ceiling. Her ceiling. The one in her bedroom, with its rows of wooden support beams and floral patterns faintly carved into the edges. The one that she'd accustomed herself to viewing for years all by herself, especially on nights when the window bathed everything in blue tints just like right now. She could even identify the one spot where no source of light could ever fully touch, a blotchy mass of shadows sitting all the way at the top.
Heh... how long has it been since I would spend countless hours just lying here on the floor, trying to entertain myself? Elsa wondered nostalgically. Several days? It had to be at least a couple weeks, I'm sure. She smiled a little to herself. I guess I have to thank Anna and the rest for making me forget.
...Anna and the rest...
...Anna!
Elsa's heart raced, and her breath shortened - memories of the recent past started to enter like torrential water gushing through open floodgates. Earsplitting noises, crashes, horrid screams rattled against the inside of her skull. Dull aches, echoes of the injuries she sustained in that battle, throbbed and burned. Her chest in particular felt like someone had slammed it with a piercingly hot iron weight, rendering her incapable of movement. Unable to do anything else, she filled her ears with questions as she furtively twitched her eyes left and right, desperate to find something, anything to get herself out of this plight: How long was I asleep? Is it too late? Who carried me to my room?
A sudden burst of logic made the platinum-blonde shudder. If I was taken here... then why would I be lying on the floor, instead of placed on the bed?
"Having fun yet?"
Elsa's eyebrows shot upwards, and she turned her head towards the source of the voice. Somebody sat on the couch besides her triangular window, a small and darkly blue silhouette that could have belonged to a child. At least, that was what Elsa initially thought: the platinum-blonde blinked once, and then it was clear this person was really a full-grown woman. She had her back turned away, and quietly stared out the glass. Grey light from the outside pooled onto the floor like a spill, clashing drastically against the rest of Elsa's vividly-colored bedroom. Elsa could have sworn its boundaries flickered back and forth in the vein as a candle flame, as if it was eager to consume more space and take over.
"I suppose you need a little help." said the voice.
"U-um..." Elsa sighed. She didn't have much of a choice. "Yeah, I do. Please help me up."
Strong, cold fingers clasped around her wrist, yanking it and the rest of her body up as if she was as light as a feather. Elsa staggered as her feet hit the floor, feeling a little weak on the knees as she patted her clothes. "Thank you-"
"-No need to thank me, Elsa. I'm just doing my job."
Elsa jolted, her ears prickling something fierce. How did she not catch it the first two times?
...
Still quiet. Elsa shot another glance at this stranger to glean more details: A slim figure, a simple dress and jacket, and hair that flowed freely down her back. That was all she could catch, as every other detail was lost to the darkness.
However, there was only one single problem Elsa found with this observation: This room was entirely well-lit.
Elsa' stomach dropped. Her brain quickly went through what must be a laundry list of explanations, some of them regarding possible illusions, an overly tired brain, an assassin, yet another monster, or worse... the Spøkelse himself. "W-who are you?" she stammered, quickly lifting her hand up like one would lift a pistol. "What are you!?"
The shadowed creature didn't move a bit. Elsa willed cold mist to emanate from her fingertips to show she meant business... and found nothing at all. No power, no sensation no anything. There wasn't any interference with the process. She wasn't weakened at all. The magic was simply gone.
"Hey, hey! Are you as trigger-happy as you are rude?" the mysterious person snapped. "Not that it matters much. Your ice isn't going to work here."
Wait, what? "I just-... look, what is going on here!?" Elsa implored. Her head was hurting badly now, sending panicked signals with every hastened heartbeat like a metronome against her skull. "How are you doing all of this-... this darkness thing? Why won't my magic work? Why am I here? How do you know my name? Why do you have my voice?"
At first, the lithe figure didn't say anything. She released her grip Elsa's hand, and flicked her wrist in a casually dismissive manner - tendrils of black started to peel away, starting from the hem of her dress up. The platinum-blonde watched in bewilderment as they faded away into nothingness, replaced by the color hiding underneath. "You're sharper than I thought... but I suppose I should have known that best." the woman commented. When she spoke this time, her voice-... Elsa's voice sounded like it was echoing inside an empty chamber. "I take that you want some clarification, right?"
Elsa thought she saw unintelligible faces swimming among the floating shadows, but she didn't dare come closer to investigate. The platinum-blonde shakily nodded.
"Heh, very well!" More and more shadows stripped themselves from the entity, unveiling the flowing bottom half of her simple, but elegantly-patterned dress. "I am the ever-faithful, the one always standing by your side, the one whispering things behind your back..."
Countless little crystals shone on the lady's bodice like little stars, and Elsa could now spot a flash of pale skin on her collar. "I am what could have been, what should have been, and what could possibly be. I am what makes you strong, I am what keeps you from your potential. I am your second opinion, your voice of reason. I am me, and most importantly..." the lady abruptly brought herself closer to Elsa's face, allowing the Snow Queen to see every little detail of her own: dark eyebrows, nearly invisible freckles that sprinkled her nose, platinum-blonde hair that flowed and fell unbridled... and a piercing, icy gaze so blue, the effect stunned the other like electricity. "I am you."
"I-impossible..." Elsa croaked.
"Impossible?" the other Elsa scoffed. "Like how you could conjure up the powers of winter at your own whimsy? Impossible, like how you were able to freeze over an entire kingdom with just one passing glance? Impossible, like how after thirteen whole years you were still able to crawl out of your room and find people who were willing to accept you?"
"But... but if I'm talking to myself... wait, you're the one who keeps arguing with me this whole time!?" Elsa stepped away from the double and clutched at her head, staggering until she hit a wall. "I really have gone mad."
"Hey, at least lighten up on your self-deprecation, okay? What you say to yourself applies to me as well." The not-quite Elsa brushed a long lock of hair behind her shoulder, and then crossed her arms in a fashion the Queen herself would have certainly taken countless times before. "And... well, being forced to double-time as your imaginary friend was uncreative of you, but you aren't exactly crazy."
Elsa bit the bottom of her lip, and began to play with her own hair nervously. "...What is your name then?"
The duplicate raised a dark eyebrow. "Elsa."
But... that's my name." Elsa mumbled.
"That never stopped anyone in the whole world from ever having the same name, you know. Like it or not, my name is still Elsa." Elsa shot back. Still, the platinum-blonde looked up at the ceiling in thought, clearly taking Elsa's words in consideration. After a few seconds of musing, her face lit up. "How about one of us change our names for the time being? That way, nobody gets confused."
Elsa gave some thought of her own, and admitted: "That's... actually a pretty good idea."
"Great! So, what name do you wanna pick for now?" Elsa asked.
Elsa sighed moodily. "I don't know... I'm just not fond too fond of being 'Elizabeth' at the moment."
"Neither am I." Elsa agreed. "I mean, I guess one of us can take 'Ellie' as a moniker, but I don't think I should be the one to change my name."
"But aren't I the real Elsa?" Elsa asked.
Elsa's left eye twitched. "So?" she said, her tone becoming a little serrated. "I'm as real as you are. In fact, I'm the 'Elsa' who's making sure 'Elsa' isn't going around making a fool of herself."
"But I'm still the 'Elsa' that has to walk around and make all the choices!"
"Elsa, it is just a name!"
"So why don't you change it, Elsa?"
The two Elsa's stared at each other in silent, both sets of cheeks turning a bright pink. Elsa was beginning to see red, and it was taking some considerable willpower not to simply tear her braid off in frustration. Of all the things she'd ever fantasize, she'd never imagine she would be in a heated argument with herself.
Still, now that she was giving it some thought... she was being the stubborn one after all. It's embarrassing, really. Sighing in disappointment at herself, she broke off her glare and crossed her arms. "Alright... I'll do it."
The Elsa with the loose hair blinked in surprise. "Wait, what?"
"I'll do it. It was immature of me, and I'm sorry for that. You can call me whatever you want. I won't stop you."
The other Elsa tilted her head with a peculiar look on her face, like a child hearing words she didn't quite understand. "You would... you would really do that? For me?"
At least the situation was visibly diffusing. "Sure." Elsa shrugged.
"That's... that's... I mean, are you sure-" The other Elsa shook her head violently. "You know what? Never mind. I'll take another name, you stay as Elsa."
"But I thought-"
"Don't worry your pretty little head over it, Elsa. You saw for yourself that keeping this going is confusing enough as it is." The other-Elsa raised her blue eyes up to the rooftop and stayed quiet for a second or two. Eventually, she looked back down with a little smile on her face. "From now on, just call me 'Ellie'."
It was Elsa's turn to raise an eyebrow. "Seriously?" A whopper of a headache was coming along nicely thanks this series of bizarre events.
"So, finally got it through that head of yours, then?" Ellie casually asked. With a snap of her fingers, a table made of polished wood emerged from the floor, followed by two chairs placed on opposite ends, each painted with patterns commonly found on Arendelle Palace furniture. "Have a seat, Elsa. I'm obligated to tell you everything you need to know, lest you end up making a mess of everything."
Elsa blinked, but she seated herself without much protest. Coughing once to clear her throat, she forced herself to focus on those uncanny pair of blue eyes; it was akin to talking face-to-face with a mirror. "Um... what is going on, exactly? Is this really my room? Or is this all a dream? Is that why I can't use my magic?"
The free-haired platinum-blonde pursed her lips. "Well... yes. Yes, and no."
"What do you mean?"
"A dream would imply that all of this is just your imagination stringing random thoughts and memories, with no impact on reality whatsoever." Ellie scratched her head, a slightly annoyed expression on her face. "This isn't actually your room, I can give you that. You see that there portrait in the back?" Ellie jabbed a thumb behind her: Where there used to be a sizable portrait depicting Elsa's father and the late King of Arendelle, was replaced with a portrait of Elsa herself, coronation outfit and all. "Let me warn you though, you aren't dreaming. This is as real as it can get."
Elsa nodded, but the fresh implications running across her head were troubling. "Are you saying that I'm currently inside my own head? Like... like the center of my mind or something?"
"Yep."
"Then... doesn't that give me control over this place? Can't I just wake up by myself?"
"No."
Elsa's left eye twitched. She was not in the mood to be delayed any longer, even if this was a literal case of arguing with herself. A small part of her felt guilty for being this heated, but there was literally no time left to spare. She needed to leave, now. "So why not?"
"Your mind's currently in a weird state, Elsa. You wouldn't be able to leave this place if you tried."
The more she was figuring out about this mental world thing, the more the platinum-blonde was feeling terribly distressed. Ellie was not improving factors either; it was just so strange seeing a mirror duplicate of herself talking and breathing independently, as every bit alive as she was. This latest tidbit was probably the worst of all: She couldn't be in an enchanted sleep, right? Maybe this is the kind of thing the Spøkelse's victims experience through. If that was the case, then... she wouldn't know what to do.
Ellie seemed to have read her mind, although it might be simply because the worry was written all over Elsa's face. "It's nothing like that, Elsa. I can actually get you out of this place once I deem it necessary."
Elsa patted her chest, exhaling out with relief. For a moment, she'd thought she would be stuck here forever. "I would kindly appreciate it, if you wake me up, please."
"Nope."
The air split apart with an abrupt bang: Elsa had stood up on her feet, knocking the chair a fair distance away with the sound of scraping wood. Both her palms were flat on the wooden table, and her face was flushed pink with blood. "What do you want with me, Ellie?"
Ellie did not seem to react. When she spoke however, there was a little shiver in her voice, like she was attempting to hold something raw backwards before it could blow over. "...Are you angry?"
"Yeah? Well you sure have a way to show it. I have to be stuck here, doing absolutely nothing while my kingdom falls apart! I don't know what's going on right now, I can't do anything about it, I don't even know if Anna and the rest of my friends are safe, and now you're telling me that you can help me escape, but you won't let me anyway? I'm sorry I am sounding like this, but I need to get out!"
Silence filled the entire room.
Elsa's chest swelled and deflated with every heavy breath. She was seeing red, and her body was shaking from the bundle of tense nerves threatening to snap. As she stared at the woman sitting from across the table, whose head was held downwards and face covered by her platinum-blonde hair, she was immediately stricken with the ever-familiar sensation of regret, followed by the equally familiar shame. "I-I'm sorry." Elsa mumbled, lowering herself back onto the chair. "That was... that was uncalled for, and I'm sorry."
"Don't be. It's what I'd expected of you." Ellie muttered curtly.
Something had changed within the muse, and Elsa couldn't help but express alarm. "Excuse me?"
The platinum-blonde crossed her arms as if she was trying to carry herself. "You never really gave much consideration for how much you affect others, after all. 'Being stuck with you...' 'doing absolutely nothing...'" Ellie shivered once. "How long did you think I've been suffering this for?"
Elsa blinked. "Well-"
"Thirteen years. For thirteen years, you decided to uphold that stupid charade after the accident with Anna. Did you know how badly you hurt Mom and Dad?"
"Don't you dare bring them into this!" Elsa blurted.
You could have changed your mind, maybe talk more to those servants!" Ellie shouted back with matching volume. "You could have shared more than a word or two with Anna, or else your only family relationships wouldn't have been this messed up. You could have even went behind Father's wishes, I'm pretty sure even he and Mother wouldn't blame you for doing so! You certainly could have talked to them more, maybe even hug them! They certainly would have wanted it, I'm sure!"
"I-I..." The pain in Elsa's chest was beginning to worsen, and her head pounded erratically with stress. Dark thoughts started to pollute her mind, and it was a challenge just to keep her vision straight. She didn't know whether it was simply her being forced to face her own past again, or if it was actually the influence of someone who practically had her by the ropes.
"What did you do when you saw last saw them? What did you do?" Ellie hissed.
Elsa lowered her head.
"That's right. You bowed. You chose not to touch them! Maybe they weren't worth touching to you! I-I-..." "sniff" "I miss them so badly... We suffered through all those years... we couldn't even have a more ordinary, or even happy childhood... for more than half our entire lives, we hid in fear instead of actually living, all because you were so stubborn with your choices! How many times did Anna offer her love before she finally called it quits? How many times did you refuse to be touched by the hands that raised you since you were born?"
"It wasn't like that! I-I was a danger... I did what I had to do to protect others..."
"No, you did it because you were spineless." snapped Ellie, tears streaming down her face. A crack ran along her cheek and only seemed to spread further like a virulent spider-web, leaving behind fine traces of neatly-scarred skin. "Y-you had so many opportunities to back out, to reach out to others, and every single time I had to watch you reject them, watch you refuse to change at all! You wouldn't listen to yourself! Did you know how much that cost for me? For us?"
"I-I... I understand-"
"Understanding doesn't cut anything!" Ellie seethed. "It was thanks to you that we've turned out this way! You could have lived a life without fearing anyone or anything, but instead we're just scarred pieces of work who couldn't find happiness if it landed on our faces!"
"Ellie, I know what I have done!" Elsa exclaimed. "I'm not so deluded as to think I can just take back what we lost... but please, hear me out!"
"I DON'T CARE!"
The entire room groaned violently like a structure threatening to collapse at any second, and suddenly Elsa's ears burst with the sound of paper violently tearing itself to pieces. She clasped at her head to block the sound out, and twisted in pain as she spun... only to come face-to-face with a little girl. She had nigh-silver hair, a headband, a small outfit consisting of a blue jacket and a trimmed-dress, and blue, unblinking eyes that never strayed from the Queen's sight. She had not seen this person with such definition and... well, real-ness, in so long, so she reacted by bringing a hand up to her mouth.
For the first time in thirteen years, Elsa saw the spitting image of herself as a child. The little girl stood without moving in the slightest, with only a sad and pained expression drawn on her face. "I... never really got to grow up..."
Another roar of tearing paper. Elsa fought the urge to plug her ears, and whipped her head to the left - Another lady, full-grown this time, stood with eyes looking at the triangular window. She seemed to take more after a certain redhead's cheerful personality, and had the twin-plait hairstyle and the perpetual ghost of laughter to prove it. Even so, she wore a grim expression that Elsa was all too-familiar with, having witnessed it in a mirror for years. "We could have been the talk of the town."
Another ear-splitting tear, another Elsa standing without further hint of arrival. This one almost a perfect copy to the real deal, but her hair was that of a brunette. The platinum-blonde nearly had a heart attack from such an appearance, and she had to remind herself repeatedly that whoever this person was, she wasn't actually Mother. "What was it like for them?" the reflection softly mused.
A wave of paper being torn to pieces resonated with enough intensity to match a crashing wave, and a teenage Elsa abruptly appeared on the other side of the room, leaning her back against the wall. "What could I have done before I slipped that one time?"
"I don't know-" Elsa began, but her voice was lost to the crashing wave of shredding parchment, followed by newer variants, differing reflections of the lady in blue, crowding the bedroom. Some only carried subtle differences, like a braid resting on the other shoulder, or skin tanned for a few too many seconds under the sun. Yet others were markedly unique: one looked rather mannish for a girl, another possessed jet-black hair as dark as obsidian, one malnourished-looking woman carried an old doll with her, another girl looked severely battered and bruised, and yet another possessed both a matronly face and a plump figure. Each and everyone of them spoke with a voice of unique inflections, characters, and pure emotion, which only mixed with each other to create something truly born of madness.
"I should have been there for Anna's adventures..."
"Have I made myself a fool in front of the others?"
"I don't need anyone to be happy."
"Was I ever friends with anyone?"
Everyone knows coconut shouldn't belong in candy."
"Do people think I am a funny person?"
"You can do this, Elsa."
"Mom and Dad don't exist anymore."
"What would my life be like without powers?"
"I am an awful daughter. An awful sister. An awful friend."
"Monster."
"I don't want my powers to be taken away from me!"
"I am free..."
"I am lost..."
"If I was like the rest of my family, how much would the lives of everyone else change?"
"Should I have been born?"
"What could have been..."
"What should have been..."
What could be..."
Even though these reflections spoke in different voices and pitches, some whispering, others singing, a couple screaming, every single pair of eyes flashed in unison like cerulean stars. "What could have been... What should have been... What would be..." they chanted in dissonance.
"Stop!" Elsa backed herself against a wall and flitted her view in panic, feeling the reflections' icy blue gazes pierce her like cold spears. "Stop it!" In her haste to ward them away, to break herself away from them, she instinctively flung her hands out in front of her. Accidentally, she snapped a hand too close to one duplicate Elsa... only for her fingers to slip through her face as if she was never there. The copy's image fluctuated and fuzzed with the intensity of an unstable mirage, creating some sort of static krrrkkrkrrrrr sound, before reverting back to a realistic figure again.
I-I can't touch them, I can't use magic on them...
"WhatcouldhavebeenWhatshouldhavebeenWhatwouldbeWhatcouldhavebeenWhatshouldhavebeenWhatwouldbe -"
Elsa squeezed her eyes shut, desperately clinging onto this one idea that they would eventually go away... but nothing happened in the slightest. The horde of reflections only continued staring with their glacial blue eyes, their lips moving to form a discordant buzz.
One... two... the platinum-blonde thought to herself, desperately focusing on counting the beats of her heart. Three... four...
...Twenty-one. Elsa breathed long and slow to build her resolve up, and finally peeked one eye open: All the duplicate Elsa's were still standing, hardly moving even moving an inch from their original spot. The only difference was that they had stopped talking, probably in the middle of the platinum-blonde's counting, so instead they watched her in silence. Only the sound of hiccups and hobbled breathing occupied the room now, somewhere in the middle of this mess. Elsa swallowed, and stepped forward warily; the ones closest to her backed away.
As unsettling as they were, the reflections were never here to harm her.
Gaining fortitude, Elsa continued walking forward as more and more reflections stepped aside. After what felt like an eternity of feeling pressure from all directions, she finally entered the clearing where the table was, where the only other lady who was actually in her seat. No longer did Ellie carry that confident air: so many tears had dripped down her face, hands, and body, her clothes and skin looked as smooth and glossy as sculpted ice. It was almost as if she was actually melting...
Wait...
"Ellie, you're melting!"
The platinum-blonde flickered in much the same way like one of reflections previously met, complete with the sound of static. Before Elsa could stop her, Ellie collapsed onto the floor below and curled within herself, a human tortoise trying to isolate itself from the outside world. Fine, spidery lines continue to spread, and in some places chipped off into shards of ice. Her body continued to fluctuate as if she was the disturbed surface of a reflective pool.
"Ellie!" Elsa quickly approached her subconscious and dropped to her knees by her side, surrounded by the reflections who now focused their stares on the two. She paid little attention to them now - she didn't really understand if they were simply illusions, or if they were genuine aspects of her, maybe even split from the original muse. It didn't matter anyway; Elsa wrapped her arms around Ellie's body, and squeezed tightly.
And just like that, the reflections vanished. There was no drama, no flair, not even a whisper or a flicker. They simply disappeared without a trace.
Ellie's body felt oddly small under Elsa's embrace. The girl within shivered a little, and she turned her head to peek a damp eye up at the platinum-blonde. "W-what are you doing?" she asked.
Elsa rested her head against the girl's cool body. "Something I should have done when I first saw you. I know what had happened in the past, and I... I will never forget my mistakes."
Ellie didn't say anything, but the wet spot on the floor seemed to spread even further.
"I know I can never fix what I've done in the past, and I'd be an idiot for trying to gain it back. I thought about what you were saying... and realized quite a lot about you."
"..."
"What was lost is lost, but you don't have to focus on Mom and Dad anymore. You don't have to keep the pain of isolation so close to your heart. Over these past three weeks, and these couple of days in particular, I've seen a lot things, and learned so much. It's true, I never got a childhood, and I was a lousy excuse to my sister... but you know what? I still have a lot ahead of me. So do you, and you know that."
When Ellie finally lifted her face to look at Elsa in the eye, she wasn't a near-perfect mirror of the Queen anymore; cradled within the platinum-blonde's arms now was simply an eight-year old girl in blue, with teary eyes and an honest look full of hope. "Y-you think so?"
"You seemed pretty casual about the Spøkelse so far. With that vote of confidence, I'm pretty sure we'll make it in the end." Elsa lifted a tuft of the child's silvery hair, idling twirling it around her fingers as she gazed out of the triangular window. Her chest felt warm now, and she smiled gently with the memories she now carried within. "You must be so lonely staying here, dealing with someone like me for so long... and I am truly grateful for that." Elsa smiled a little and leaned closer. "I wasn't able to catch it before, but now I know you truly do care. But we have Anna now! And friends! It isn't everything we wanted just yet, but it's a start. Do you know what I mean?"
A bit of snot dribbled down from Ellie's nose. A little embarrassed, the child wiped her face dry with her sleeve before dipping her head up and down.
Elsa beamed. "That's better. And you know what?" She leaned in closer, and whispered softly into the the little girl's ear. "You're a better person than anyone gives credit for. If we could ever trade places, I bet you could have done a better job than me."
Ellie blinked a couple of times, wiping her face dry with the front of her dress. A suspiciously wide grin soon spread on her own face, and she drummed her fingers together with cunning in her diabolical eyes. "You know... we can do that right now. It wouldn't be too hard."
Elsa sputtered at these words, too scrambled in the head to come up with a proper response. Much to her confusion though, Ellie immediately doubled over in a fit of giggles, covering her mouth with the tips of her hands. The older of the two pouted indignantly, determined to show just how awful such a joke was. Even so, the little girl's cheer was infectious, and soon even Elsa broke into giggles of her own. By the time the laughter ended, both platinum-blondes faced each other with warm affection in their eyes.
Ellie was the first to stand back up on her feet. With a serious look on her face, she said: "Look, I've said some things-"
No no," Elsa protested, standing up. "You shouldn't apologize to me-"
"Actually, Elsa, I do." Ellie tucked in her chin, hid her hands behind her back, and looked away, completely scarlet in her cheeks. With the body and stature of an eight-year old, she looked positively adorable. "When I was talking during that mess... well, not a lot of people get to take all of this 'introspection' stuff literally. I guess I got too excited, and should have taken it easier with you." She smiled a toothy grin. "For everything I've blamed you for, I'm actually glad that you're the one running the show. You're alright." Ellie approached the lady in the snow gown, and wrapped her arms tightly around her waist. "I think we'll be alright."
"...Yeah."
For the first time in a while, the bedroom was at complete peace and tranquility, with the two girls holding each other at the very center. Eventually though, Ellie was the first to break off; she raised her arms up at Elsa and waggled her fingers, displaying a somewhat pleading look on her face.
"Aren't you a little too old for this sort of thing?" Elsa teased in a cutesy tone. Nevertheless, she hoisted Ellie up, letting the child seat herself on the lady's crossed arms and hang an arm off the back of her neck. She nestled herself against the platinum-blonde further, making herself comfortable. Elsa didn't mind; the child was lighter than she appeared.
"...You wanted to know why I was keeping you here, right?" Ellie quietly asked.
Elsa's eyes widened. "Well... now that you've mentioned it, yeah."
The girl nodded seriously, and looked deep and hard into Elsa's eyes. "I going to give it to you straight, alright?"
Elsa nodded.
"Okay then, here we go..." the silver-haired girl visibly braced herself, tensing her body up and squeezing her eyes shut. "Elsa, the Spøkelse Holmgeirr is currently invading the rest of your head."
Elsa had expected a lot of things at this point. Strange happenings, supernatural events, bizarre explanations, and experiences such as... this. She was quite prepared for the worst, and even then she was surprised by how little a reaction she was giving in light of this. Granted, the tell-tale icy pit in her stomach and the chills came, but it wasn't enough that she would end up dropping Ellie out of shock. Puzzled, she raked through her memories, and quickly found the answer. "It was the spear, wasn't it?" Elsa asked seriously.
"Yeah... that mental attack knocked you out pretty good. And before you ask, everyone else should be in a safer position than us two." The girl pointed towards the window, where the grey light had been continuously shining through as if it was trying to envelop the entire cerulean bedroom in grey, with little success. "It's weird, really: This guy simply won't let us go, or else it would have been safe for me to let you free. I had to drag us to the very center of your mind, or else he would have been able to spy on this conversation along with your memories."
"M-my memories?" Elsa swallowed. "...But doesn't that mean we have lost?"
The girl flashed an assuring grin. "As long as he is busy, he can't do much of anything."
Elsa nodded. "I see... So how long must I stay here?"
"We're going to weather him out: The moment he stops the assault, you'll be whisked back into the real world. I know it isn't perfect, and everyone we know are still in a lot of danger, but it's the best I can do."
Elsa continued to stare at the triangular window in thought; upon closer observation, the it looks as if the entire world outside was covered in the same grey, innocuous-looking mist that had pervaded the whole kingdom today. The fog shifted lazily, deceiving its true and malevolent purposes. With that in mind, she hobbled over to the large bed, and settled Ellie down before taking the spot next to her. "There isn't really much we could do, is there?"
To her great surprise, Ellie immediately perked up with a twinkle in her blue eyes. "That would be if you consider 'waiting' to mean 'doing absolutely nothing'. You're giving me too little credit here, Elsa." The child stretched her arms out spread-eagle and grinned from ear-to-ear. "We're in the center of your mind! Guess what we can do here!"
"Um... build castles out of mental blocks?"
Ellie wrinkled herself into a rather impressive stink-face, eliciting an amused laugh out of Elsa. "Awful pun notwithstanding, I, uh... I can't really do that. Frankly, I'm surprised you didn't immediately say it."
Elsa tilted her head in confusion. "What do you mean?"
"Oy..." Ellie bent down to rub long and slow at her own temples, appearing quite frustrated with Elsa's apparent ignorance. Finally though, she snapped back and hopped out of bed, grabbing Elsa's hand with both of her own. "Come with me, I want to show you something..." The little girl even giggled to herself as she pulled, dragging the platinum-blonde lady all the way to a drawer sitting by the side. Elsa merely frowned at the sight of the thing; this particular drawer - the real-world counterpart, of course - was delegated to the perfectly mundane task of storing undergarments and casual wear.
"Ready?" Ellie asked, brimming with excitement.
Elsa shrugged. "A drawer's a drawer."
The silver-haired girl stuck her tongue out in disapproval. Resting her hands on the wooden handle, she proceeded to pull it open with all the care and caution of some handling a very valuable, very mysterious vault. She was practically shining with pride as she flourished a hand out to Elsa. "Go on, then. Have a look."
Elsa bent over to take a peek, holding her breath just in case if it really was going to be spectacular... and promptly defaulted to a deadpan expression.
There was nothing inside except for a neatly-sorted array of keys. Some of them were of different colors and decorations, making the overall effect akin to an oversized toy set. Elsa raised a dark eyebrow at her muse and crossed her arms, waiting for the girl to provide an answer.
Ellie sighed long and low, grumbling with all the impatience of an immature child. "I mean, that's alright and all, but maybe if you allowed yourself to be a bit more excited... I mean, it kind of stings... okay, I admit it. That was pretty lousy." She gingerly reached a hand inside to pull one out, careful not to touch any of the keys carelessly. When she finally grasped the one she'd been looking for, she raised it up for Elsa to see its metallic sheen and floral carvings. "Well?" she asked excitedly. "What are you waiting for? Touch it!"
Still confused about all this enthusiasm, Elsa decided that she might as well just buy into the act a little. She raised a hand to the key, tapped it with her knuckles-
The entire room flashed white as it buzzed with indistinguishable words, and her nose stung from a surprise scent out of nowhere. Her tongue felt like it had been drenched for hours in bitter tea leaves. Abrupt heat and lightning coursed across her entire body, starting from her hand and running down to her toes, flaring up in intensity every time her heart pumped. The shock was so intense, it was enough numb her mind and make her muscles involuntarily spasm. For a second or two, she even forgot how to breathe.
And yet... as powerful as these sensations driving her head into overdrive were, they weren't entirely unpleasant. In fact, the situation was comparable to entering a hot bath without getting used to the temperature first. Once she properly prepared herself, a lot of things were made clearer to the platinum-blonde: The words echoing inside the bedroom was revealed to have belonged to one voice, a voice that was equal parts unfamiliar and nostalgic. If it weren't for panic taking the edge off, Elsa's body would have kept on tingling delightfully. Staring open-mouthed at Ellie and her key, she rubbed at her knuckles, only to feel nothing at all. "W-what was that!?"
""Shh... you didn't really have it that bad, you just weren't prepared for it. This way!" The little girl skipped away with the key on hand, quickly approaching the bedroom door. Elsa followed along, watching with curiosity as the girl inserted it into keyhole. "Ready?"
Well, at least this time Elsa had the good sense to brace herself. She nodded.
Ellie turned the key in place-
"Who's a good girl?" cooed a familiar voice.
Elsa giggled, covering her eyes with chubby fingers. Even though her gums were hurting sorely from a loose baby tooth, the sight of Gerda was enough to make her forget all that was wrong with the world. Now, all she wanted was another person to play with.
Feeling soft, gentle hands wrap around her body like a blanket given life, Elsa immediately smelled the lady's floral perfume that was so dissimilar to Mama or Papa's. Basking in the warmth of her embrace, the toddler pressed her lips against Gerda's cheek, much to the young maidservant's delight.
Elsa staggered backwards from the door, rubbing a temple out of disorientation. "That was... that was Gerda..."
"Yep!" Ellie chirped. She raised the key up to eye level, and tapped on the round end. "It even says so on the label."
"It's amazing!" Elsa exclaimed, completely out of breath. "I mean, what are these key things exactly? How were they able to access my memories?"
"Ah-ha! Now you're starting to talk on the same level, Elsa!" Ellie paced back to the drawer, and pulled out yet another key. "What you just experienced was your link between you and another person, the one in question being Gerda. I came up with the idea of storing them under lock and key, cause... well, it felt appropriate at the time."
The girl held up the two keys, one on each hand, for the lady to see; the one that didn't belong to Gerda was relatively smaller in size, and was less decorated with patterns or trinkets. "Their size at the start varies on how much you have in common with other people, and most of them are simply scrapped because it would just take up space. If you keep maintaining your trust with someone though, their respective key will only grow. This one for example..." she wiggled the smaller one, "it belongs to the servant who loaned you her clothes this morning. It's not as big because she doesn't connect with you as much as Gerda, but that can change if you want it."
"Incredible..." Elsa's dark eyebrows shot upwards, and she fearfully turned back to the bedroom. "But wait, doesn't that mean the Spøkelse can get inside from there?"
For a brief moment, Ellie looked just as troubled by the thought as Elsa... but then she shook her head and resumed smiling. "I'll know."
"Alright then..." Elsa said cautiously. Her blue eyes flitted back to the wondrous drawer of keys, and her heart rate started to increase. "Say..." she tried to voice casually, although the frog in her throat was converting her words into croaks instead. "Can I see... you know... show them to me?"
Ellie didn't need any further explanation to understand. "Sure." With a professional atmosphere that did not match all with her little body, Ellie carefully closed the drawer, only to open another one at the very bottom. She pulled one out, a sizably silver thing with a wood trim, and a cute tuft of reindeer fur tied around the end. Elsa didn't even need a second to guess exactly who it belonged to.
"Yep, it's already getting this big. Good for you, Elsa." Ellie commented affectionately, swelling with pride. Once again, she reached inside the drawer, and pulled out yet another.
Elsa briefly forgot to breathe again.
With a golden shine and engraved pink and green flower embroideries, the key should have been kept inside a secure vault than a clothes drawer as simple as this. Childish writing was etched into its flat end, but in Elsa's eyes it only complemented the rosemaeling to make something truly unique and special. It could have been a perfect work of art made of pure joy solidified into metal, if it weren't for a forlorn crack running across the its body. It might have been bent out of shape in the past, leaving behind a scar. When Ellie rested it onto the Queen's hand it was like holding a small flame that sent warm pulses down her arms. "A-... A-ann..."
"Yep... that's hers." Ellie guiltily looked down on the floor and played with her hair. "Those years when you-... we made that choice, that happened. Don't worry, it works just as well nowadays. I am still not able to erase the evidence though and fix up perfectly-"
Elsa threw her arms around the girl, cutting her tirade short. "It's wonderful, Ellie. Thank you."
"N-not problem..." Ellie blushed furiously in light of Elsa's gratitude. "Not a problem at all."
Elsa desperately wanted to see for herself, to review those years back when she was a happy child who played alongside with Anna practically every day. And yet, in the middle of her contemplation, seeing her own, smiling face reflecting back on the golden key, a single thought bloomed in her mind: She didn't actually need to review her early childhood. She and Anna had already agreed to turn a new leaf, to make memories of their own...
...What she really needed is closure. Elsa's eyes flicked to the portrait in this mental room, the one portraying herself instead of her father.
"Ellie... I want to see them. I want to see Mother and Father again."
The little girl snapped her fingers with that moment of brilliance, her eyes shining enthusiastically like bright blue stars. She looked so excited, Elsa initially pegged her as someone trying too hard to imitate Olaf's perpetual glee. "Oh... right! Of course! How could we have forgotten?" She made a dash for the drawer once more, sifting through her keys with such joy-
The little girl froze. Ellie's face, which had little color in it in the first place, was absolutely drained of all blood. Her hair stood on end, and her body shivered intensely from the head down to her toes. She winced, almost as if she forcing herself to touch something revolting and sickening, like rotted fish, putrid ooze, or something so virulent even gazing upon it for too long will contract a severe illness.
"Elsa... look." Ellie breathed. She pulled the offending object up.
It was an malformed key unlike any Elsa had seen: The others had been beautiful in their own way, lovingly crafted by someone who truly hoped to make them timeless pieces of art. This one was made of iron that was so rusted, dark little pieces fell off like soot. Its teeth were jagged enough to cut like a saw if applied to a solid surface, and the name written upon it had been almost complete scratched out angrily with something sharp. Elsa's eyes can just barely make out "l", "g", and "r" among the mess.
...l...g...r...
Holmgeirr.
"Just remember, when a dream appears... You belong to me~!"
Questions? Thoughts? Theories? You can either share them with me, ask on my Tumblr, or post them as a review below. Or we could just shamelessly eat candy in spite of the disapproving stares of our peers.
See you guys soon, fans of Frozen, and have a Happy Halloween.