LTP: NiGHTS! Have you seen Jackle and Reala anywhere?

NiGHTS: Jackle dragged Reala on a road trip, remember?

LTP: Oh yeah, I wonder how they're doing now?

Disclaimer: LTP doesn't own NiGHTS into Dreams, NiGHTS Journey of Dreams, or Dick Figures.

Losing Streakers

(opens in a car where Jackle is driving alone and excited)

Jackle: Sal Sagev! Whoo! *Looks up* How you doing up there?

*Reala is tied up on top of the car, screaming and struggling*

Reala: I DON'T WANNA GO, YOU A**HOLE!

Jackle: Crap city!

*the car passes a sign into Sal Sagev. The next scene shows that three people were road-killed by the car before it crashes into a lamp post with Jackle and Reala completely unharmed in front of a casino*

Reala: Dude, we have ten bucks and rent is a thousand! There's no way we'll get it all here!

Jackle: Blah blah blah. Shut yer face! Let's do it! *cartwheels away, at the same time leaving a fart cloud, which Reala gags on* Whoo!

*Jackle rushes up to the employee at a roulette table to gamble their last ten dollars*

Jackle: Put it all on red, big fart!

*Reala tries to stop Jackle*

Reala: Don't listen to him, he doesn't represent me!

Jackle: *pushing Reala away* Don't listen to him he's a big piece of s***!

*the table spins and the ball lands on number 35 in the black section*

Roulette employee: *deep demonic voice with flames in the background* HOUSE WINS!

Jackle: Beep boop boop we're f***ed.

*Reala is enraged*

Reala: That was our last ten dollars!

Jackle: Hey can I borrow ten dollars?

Reala: Are you even listening to me!?

Jackle: Hey can I borrow twenty dollars?

Reala: YOU'RE RUINING MY LIIFE!

*Jackle is suddenly surrounded by three female Nightmaren and holding a bottle of vodka*

Jackle: I'm gonna go ruin my liver. See you in the hospital fat ass!

*Jackle is then carried away by the three Nightmaren*

One of the three Nightmaren: So sticky.

*the Nightmaen bring Jackle to another game with two posh female Nightmaren and a male along with a Craps employee*

Craps employee: Ahh sir, do you know how to play Craps?

Jackle: *Jackle jumps on the table then squats* I play every day!

*the posh male and female Nightmaren along with the Craps Employee watch as Jackle proceeds to defecate on the table*

Jackle: Craps is the s*******!

*Jackle starts making fart sounds as the smiles on the three slowly turn into frightened looks. A moment later, crap splats in their faces*

Posh 'Maren: *monocle pops off* My wor... *Jackle then craps in the man's mouth as he speaks and on the eye where his monocle once was*

*Jackle heads to the bartender*

Jackle: Yo barkeep! Give me a-

*cuts to Chamelon watching a stripper*

Chamelon: RED HEADED SLUT! Yo, Freckle, pick that twenty up in your-

*cuts to Jackle with a bottle forcing Reala to drink it as Reala is held down by two female Nightmaren*

Jackle: P****! Drink that juice down.

Reala: This is gasoline you-

*cuts to Owl in his car*

Owl: A**hole! Get out of the road!

*Jackle is shown streaking across the street, but is censored with a black rectangle*

Jackle: Whoo! I'm sexy and I know it!

Owl: Eeeehhh. That 'Maren has a humongous-

*cuts to two female Nightmaren, one pink and one yellow, back at the casino*

Yellow Nightmaren: *masculine tone* BALL SACK.

Pink Nightmaren: What?

Yellow Nightmaren: That's what I said, I never actually seen a guy's *masculine tone* BALL SACK.

Pink Nightmaren: It's no big deal. It just looks like a *masculine tone* BALL SACK.

*cuts to Jackle, who is really drunk and approaching a slot machine with a drink. Reala approaches as well*

Reala: Dude, I think the cops are coming!

Jackle: *drunken singing* Whatdya gonna do? Whadya gonna want when they come for you? GHOST BUSTERS! *puts the glass to the slot machine* Hey robo-d***! Give me my money back!

Reala: It's a slot machine, retard. It's not gonna talk back.

*a bee appears and flies into Jackle's mouth, who gags*

Jackle: *auto-tuned* That's more like it! Hey robo-c***, give me my motherf***ing money back!

Slot machine: *robotic voice* Hey there, Jackle. Long time no see.

Jackle: *auto-tuned* Hey, machine friend. How's yo mama?

Slot machine: She's been sad since you left her high and dry... Father.

Jackle: *auto-tuned* Zero! Wha-ha-ha-ha-ha-hat?

Slot machine: Oh, why did you up and leave us, Daadyyyyyy?

Jackle: *auto-tuned* Shh...shh...shh...shhhhh. Papa couldn't pay for child support. *hugs the slot machine*

Slot machine: Noooooooo. *goes out of power*

Jackle: *no longer auto-tuned* I remember when you were just a little tamagotchi.

*Jackle vomits onto the slot machine, then it shoots out a lot of money*

Reala: Oh, F***, we are rich!

*Jackle lies passed out on the machine with crossed eyes as a pair of 8-bit sunglasses descend over Jackle's eyes while music plays. "JUST DEAL WITH IT" appears under Jackle and the music stops*

*later, Jackle and Reala are driving away with their money*

Reala: That was horrible. *Falls back on his seat* Let's never do that again!

Jackle: *normal voice* You're right. We're never going to Sal Sagev again. *stares out ahead, then throws his arms up, breaking the car window* VIVA LAS VEGAS!

*Reala screams as they pass the sign into Las Vegas*

*LTP's phone rings*

LTP: Huh? *check phone* Do I know anyone in Vegas? *answers* Hello? ... Reala? ... You and Jackle are in a Las Vegas prison?! What the f*** happened? ... Jackle ran over several Elvis impersonators, three hookers, and destroyed one of those quickie wedding chapels? ... How much is bail? ... *sighs* Alright fine, I'll be there as soon as I can. *hangs up* NiGHTS, pack your bags, we're going to Vegas.

NiGHTS: Why?

LTP: Because Jackle and Reala got arrested for destruction of property and manslaughter. Mostly Jackle though.