LTP: This one is extra long for a reason. It's the official 100th episode!

NiGHTS: LTP Doesn't own NiGHTS into Dreams, NiGHTS Journey of Dreams, or any of the following references.

Random Drabbles 14

(opens in the rec. room where four moaning Nightmaren suddenly walked in, in a zombie-like manor)

Nightmaren: *groaning like zombies*

Jackle: OH HOLY DINGLE BERRIES!

*Jackle pulls a gun out of his cloak and shoots one of the Nightmaren, killing him*

Jackle: DIE ZOMBIES!

Reala: WAIT! *takes a bag of chip and throws it behind the 'zombies'*

*the remaining three Nightmaren walk over to the bag and proceed to eat the chips*

Reala: They're not zombies, they're just really, really high.

Jackle: So then I just-

Reala: Yeah, you're going to prison.

{~~~}

(opens in a store in Down Town Nightmare, where LTP and Jackle are looking at a bin full of mesh shower scrubbers)

LTP: Get in dude!

*Jackle climbs into the bin and waits until two female Nightmaren walk by*

LTP: *snickers*

*Jackle pops up from the bin and sends the shower scrubbers flying all over the place*

Jackle: RAAAHH!

*the two female Nightmaren scream and run*

LTP and Jackle: *laugh their asses off*

{~~~}

(opens in a suicide prevention center in Nightmare)

*phone rings*

NiGHTS: *answers* Suicide Hotline.

Selph: Hey, alright. Um, I'm having a bit of trouble tying my noose. I slipped out of it like four times. So like, after you wrap the rope around itself back up to the top, is it supposed o go through the smaller loop? Or, how do you tie that?

NiGHTS: You... don't.

Selph: No, that's not a very good knot tying strategy. You obviously don't tie many knots. So you would recommend that I just use the rope to asphyxiate myself in a bathtub full of ice water or-

NiGHTS: No, I mean don't kill yourself.

Selph: ... What kind of suicide hotline is this?

{~~~}

(opens in the kitchen from episode 5, where Reala rummages through the fridge for eggs, only to find an empty egg bin as Jackle walks past)

Reala: *slams the fridge door with a grunt and points at Jackle* You orange-caped idiot! You ate all the eggs!

Jackle: Yeah? So what if I did!? What're you gonna do, break my arms?!

(later at Nightmare General Hospital)

*Jackle is now in a hospital bed with his arms in casts and an I.V. drip of painkillers in one of them*

NiGHTS: ... You really shouldn't give him ideas.

Jackle: *mocking tone* You really shouldn't give him ideas!

NiGHTS: *annoyed glare, then flicks a finger at one of Jackle's casts*

Jackle: NNGH! *screams in pain*

{~~~}

(opens in Down town Nightmare, where Jackle talks to a Nightmaren couple in a car)

Jackle: You guys hit this back there! *holds up a dead squirrel*

Nightmaren Couple: *horrified expressions*

Jackle: Do you want it or is cool if I keep it!?

{~~~}

(opens in a vegan restaurant in Nightmare where Reala, NiGHTS, Jackle and LTP decide to leave because the place doesn't serve alcohol)

Waiter: Look, guys, come on. I know the food's a little different here, but it's actually good, and good for you. We don't serve it with any grease of fat-

Reala: If we pay extra, could we maybe get some grease or fat?

*everyone chuckles lightly*

Jackle: Do you have bathrooms here, or do I have to s*** in the plant?

*everyone laughs*

Waiter: *mocking laugh* Stupid f***ing idiot, orange caped ass! You guys think you're so f***ing cool! It makes me sick! 'Let's make fun of the vegans and their crazy lifestyle!', We're not hurting anyone! Go eat a hamburger and choke on a cow d***!

Reala: Aw, someone missed their yoga class this morning.

{~~~}

(opens in the bathroom)

Jackle: Hello again, my old companion. I've missed you ever so much. Let me serenade you with a song I wrote for you. *starts singing gibberish*

*Reala walks in and turns on the lights*

Reala: So this is- this is what you're doing at 4 A.M.?

Jackle: Indeed it is.

Reala: You're... singing to our toilet?

Jackle: ... Yes.

{~~~}

(opens in NiGHTS room where Reala comes walking in with a camera)

Reala: ~You should beware, beware, beware, of a 'Maren on her period!~

*Reala turns the camera on NiGHTS, who is eating a pint of chocolate ice cream in her purple silk nightgown. She's not wearing her hat and looks agitated*

NiGHTS: SHUT UP! *chucks her spoon at Reala*

Reala: Ow! *laughs a little*

{~~~}

(opens in Jackle's room, where LTP is talking to a very happy Jackle)

LTP: Hey Jackle, it is true that you got a job?

Jackle: Yep, and then I was fired.

LTP: What?!

Jackle: It was my first day on the job too.

LTP: You got fired on your first day of work?

Jackle: Yup!

LTP: Then why are you so happy?

Jackle: Oh no reason. Hey, I got an idea. Let's watch the surveillance tape of me making some ass****'s food.

*Jackle plays the tape*

Jackle: Aaand, freeze it.

*the tape is paused to reveal Jackle humping a burger*

Jackle: Looks like the ass**** ordered the "special" sauce.

LTP: PFFFFTTT! *laughs hard* Oh man that is awesome! *realizes something* Hey isn't this Selph's T.V.?

Jackle: *laughs* Yeah, I'm a d***.

{~~~}

(opens in Pure Valley)

Reala: *strums his invisible guitar* Sonic 06. What a disaster of a game.

NiGHTS: *pops up next to Reala* ~Of a game!~

*music starts playing*

Reala: It puts SEGA-

NiGHTS: ~SEGA!~

Reala: And even humanity to shame!

NiGHTS: ~Humanity to shame!~

Reala: ~With its s***ty graphics, and it's stupid story line, when a hedgehog's doing a ginger girl, that's a pretty bad sign! It sucks! It f***ing sucks balls! It's a piece of s***! It sucks! It eats my ass! Every time I see them kiss I- ugh *slouches forward with cuts on his arm*

NiGHTS: Um, um, are you ok?

Sonic: *pops up* Bestiality for the win!

{~~~}

(opens in a hall of Nightmare castle)

Donbalon: ~Wouldn't you like to smell me?~

Jackle: F***ing no!

Donbalon: Oh... okay...

{~~~}

(opens in the bathroom where Jackle barges in on Selph while he's on the john)

Jackle: *holds up a card* Bro, flick this card and see what happens!

*Selph flicks the card and is teleported out of the bathroom, with the toilet*

Jackle: *drops the card* Oh s***.

*in Down town Nightmare, Selph is stuck on the toilet, which is in the middle of the street, while covering himself as cars pass him by*

Selph: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!

{~~~}

LTP: Now presenting, the winner of the Nightmare Teacher of the Year Award. Reala. Reala doesn't give up on his students, and he doesn't let his students give up.

*cuts to a clip of Reala with one of his students*

Reala: I DEMAND YOU TO READ!

Younger Nightmaren: I CAN'T!

Reala: SOUND IT OUT! USE PHONICS! *bashes Younger Nightmaren's face into a wall*

Younger Nightmaren: This... is... sp-Spot.

Reala: GO ON!

Younger Nightmaren: See... Spot... RUN! *cries*

*cuts back to LTP*

LTP: Reala, an inspiration to us all.

{~~~}

(opens in a random room that NiGHTS, Reala, Jackle and LTP are trapped in)

LTP: *clutching at her sides while laughing very hard for no reason*

NiGHTS: *flying around room in random directions while singing a ballet type song*

Jackle: *inspecting the door*

Reala: *watching all three and rolls his eyes* We have not done anything in-

*Jackle suddenly grabs the door and rips it off its hinges*

Jackle: IT WOOOOOORRRRRR! *launches the door clear across the room*

LTP: YEAH!

*the sound of a door crashing against the wall is heard*

{~~~}

(Back with NiGHTS and Selph)

NiGHTS: *pinching the bridge of her nonexistent nose while releasing a frustrated sigh* Sir, for the fifteenth time, a suicide hotline is a number that you call to help prevent you from committing suicide. What part of that do you not understand?

Selph: Like, all of it.

NiGHTS: How can you still not get this!?

Selph: Because never once have I ever called a tech hotline to help me destroy my computer or a triple x hotline where a large man with a gruff voice is assisted me to funnel my boogers of love back into... F*** IT! JUST TELL ME HOW TO TIE THE DAMN NOOSE!

NiGHTS: I'm not going to help you kill yourself!

Selph: That's it, what's your employee I.D. number?

NiGHTS: Why?

Selph: 'Cause after I'm done offing myself, I'm gonna have a talk with your manager and tell him how s***ty of an employee you are.

NiGHTS: ... Ok, good luck with that.

{~~~}

(opens in LTP's office)

LTP:*to the tune of a sea shanty* ~What do you do when you're out of ideas? What do you do when you're out of ideas? What do you do when you're out of ideas?~

*LTP holds up a pug puppy*

LTP: ~Show a f***ing puppy!~

LTP: Okay everyone, I have an announcement to make. After today's episode, we will be taking a temporary hiatus. To put it simply, it's been getting difficult for me to keep up with the posting schedule as of late, constantly getting slammed at work isn't helping much either, and we're starting to run a bit low on material, so we're going to be taking a little beak. but don't think of it so much as a hiatus and more like a break period for SEASON 2! During this period, feel free to send in suggestions for potential episodes, anything from funny movies, abridged series, TV shows, cartoons, web shows, Comedian bits, & whatever else you can think of. We're still going to do 9 drunk Nightmaren, NiGHTS and Reala Play, Dick Figures, Nightmaren with Hats, Sanity Not Included, and whatever stuff I can throw in for Random Drabbles. With that said, I bid you all Good NiGHTS and I shall see you all again in the near future. If anyone has a question, go ahead and ask.