A/N: I don't own this. We all know who does. She'd probably get ready early, just in case. I wait 'til the last second, pretty much every single time. :)
Thanks to my girls - Alice's White Rabbit, Belle Clementine, EdwardsBloodType, and MrsRobward. In the words of Lindsay Lohan … "You're it. You're the ultimate." :) Bet you didn't think I knew any Lindsay Lohan song lyrics, did you? :D
o*O*o*4*o*O*o
It's just after eleven when I hear a soft knock on my front door. Shit! He's early! I thought I had another hour to get changed and ready to see him. I check my hair in a mirror though there's nothing I can do about it now. I'm excited to see him, but a little nervous, too, so I force myself to take a deep breath on my way to the door. I can't stop wondering about the woman who answered his phone. I think before anything physical happens between us tonight, we need to talk. Especially if this relationship is going to be anything more than just sex. Even if it is the most fantastic sex I've ever had in my life.
"Hi," he says as he steps inside and closes the door behind him. "I thought about you all day."
"Yeah?" I ask, pushing a strand of hair behind my ear and trying my best to look sexy as I stand here in shorts and an old, over-sized sweatshirt. Damn, I should have changed my clothes earlier. Maybe put on some makeup. At least, I could have taken my hair out of the ponytail-knot it's in before I opened the door.
"Yep." He looks good enough to eat in his blue button-down shirt with the sleeves rolled up over his forearms and the top two buttons undone so just a little bit of chest hair can show through the V.
"You wanna sit down? Are you hungry or thirsty?"
He smiles as he stalks toward me, putting his hands on my hips and pulling me toward him. "Oh, I'm hungry all right," he whispers then leans down to kiss me, and I let him push his tongue into my mouth because I can't stop him. I don't want to, but I need to.
I lick my lips and look down at his chest after pulling away. "Can we talk? Do you wanna talk?"
I can feel his body freeze, and there's a little groan that comes from his throat.
"It's not bad, I swear." Looking up, I can see the worry in his eyes. I didn't want to do that to him.
"Usually, when girls say they wanna talk, it's not good." He looks like I stole his puppy, and it's breaking my heart. "Did I do something wrong? Are you upset with me for some reason?"
"No!" I practically shout at him. I need to calm down because I'm screwing this all up. "I want to know you. I mean, you said you wanted me for more than one night, so I thought if that's gonna happen, maybe we should talk. Find out some things about each other."
"That's all it is?"
"Yes. I promise. Come on." I kiss him lightly, hoping it makes him more comfortable. My hand wraps around his, and I pull him into my living room. I still have essays laid out across the coffee table, and when he sees them, he smiles.
"So, this is what you do for a living, huh? Write and sell essays to school kids? You know, I think that's frowned upon."
He makes me laugh. "No. I'm grading them."
"You're a teacher?" he asks, looking at me a little strange.
"Yeah. I teach third grade. This is my tenth year." Oh, shit; that was probably the wrong thing to say. "And now I feel really old again."
"Don't," he whispers, running his fingers along my cheek. "I love that you're a teacher. Do you like it? Your classes and the kids and stuff?"
"Yeah. It's all I ever wanted to do. Well, that and be a mother. But that hasn't happened for me, so if I can't have my own kids then at least I have a classroom full of them."
"Why hasn't it happened?"
I sigh as I pull him down next to me on the sofa. I know you're not supposed to bring up old relationship baggage early on in a new relationship, but he's asking, and it feels right that I tell him. I mean, if he's gonna run, I'd rather it be sooner than later. At least, that way my heart won't get completely annihilated by him.
"I was with someone for a long time. We met in college and moved in together when we graduated. We were living in Seattle, I started teaching, and he decided to go for his masters. So I supported us for the three years it took him to do that. And then when he was done, he decided to get his doctorate." I play with my fingers, remembering my life before. "I figured I'd go wherever he did, but his acceptance letter came kinda late, and I was already starting with a new class, so we thought we'd do the distance thing for a year, and then I'd move there to him."
He's listening to me, and I watch him to see his reactions. He seems okay with it so far, so I keep going.
"I went to visit one weekend. He'd been in California for almost two years. I wanted to move after that first year, but he was in an apartment with other guys, and we didn't have enough money saved up to get our own place, so I stayed. At the end of the second school year, I resigned and decided I was going, no matter what. He was supposed to come visit the next weekend; he said he needed to see me. We'd been together so long I just figured he was gonna propose, you know? I got anxious, and my dad paid for my airfare, so I went." I tuck a lock of hair behind my ear and take a deep breath. I hate this part of the story. "One of his roommates let me in, and I found him in bed with some other woman. Turns out, his big news was that she was pregnant, and he was dumping me. After we'd been together for six years, and I'd supported him for half that time."
Edward's face is sad, shocked, and I know he's pitying me. Just what I didn't want, but what I'm used to from men by now. "Wow. I'm so sorry, Bella."
"Yeah, well. I went home, finished packing up my apartment, and moved to Forks. My dad's here, and he knew the school principal. She hired me on the spot, and I was teaching a few weeks later. It's been great, other than the fact that the dating pool is pretty slim."
He smiles. "Nah, you were just waiting for me."
A laugh bubbles out of me. It's a mystery how he makes me so calm with just one look, a few words. "Yeah. Maybe."
"So you haven't dated much since then?" he asks.
"Not for the first year I was here. Then I got to know Alice, my birthday friend from the bar, and she started setting me up with anyone she could think of. I finally made her stop. I think she was a little devastated that I broke her matchmaker streak or something."
We talk about my job a little more, I tell him about buying my house, and he asks about my family and friends; it's easy between us. And not just physically.
"I'm in college. In the second year of my master's program," he tells me after I get us beers from the kitchen.
"What are you studying?" I ask.
"Forestry, land management. That kinda thing. I'm planning to work for the Forest Service."
"A forest ranger? Like Smokey the Bear?"
"Who?" he asks, and suddenly, I feel a hundred years old.
"You know, Smokey the Bear. 'Only YOU can prevent forest fires.' Please tell me you know those commercials?"
He laughs. "Um, is that an 80s' thing?"
"Oh, shit," I mumble, my face buried in my hands. He just laughs.
"I'm kidding. Of course, I know who he is. You're so easy."
"Yeah, I think you already knew that." Because, clearly, I am easy. At least, according to the slut qualifications chart.
We laugh for a few more minutes, and he tells me about his schooling and job prospects then about the crazy girl he'd dated who prompted his unplanned move to Forks.
"That's why I'm staying with family right now. I mean, she wasn't dangerous or anything, but she couldn't seem to understand that we were over. She'd show up at my apartment at all hours of the day and night. I couldn't take it anymore. Most of my classes are online, so there wasn't anything holding me there. I didn't want to leave my friends hanging, so I left most of my savings with them for rent and stuff. I'm saving up money now so I can get a place."
"That's good." I've wondered about all this, so I'm relieved that he's offering it up so freely.
"And the phone today, that was my sister. She's 12, and thinks she's 25. She's kinda driving me crazy. I really need to get out on my own."
I smile as I hold his hand, playing with his fingernails. "I'm sure she's excited to have you home, that's all."
"Maybe." He's quiet for a few moments, and even though it's silent and still between us, it's relaxed. Serene. "Bella, I don't have a house like most guys you've probably dated. And I don't have a career going yet. I don't have a retirement fund set up, and I don't have a new car. None of that stuff really matters to me, but I don't know if it does to you."
He's not looking at me, and I feel bad. Have I somehow made him feel like those are things I need and want? Because they're not, and I don't.
"Edward, I don't care about that. I mean, if you never had any desire to have a career, then maybe I'd worry, but I don't think that's you. I don't care where you live or what kind of car you have. And I don't need fancy dates or 401K statements. I like you because of you, not all that other stuff. There's plenty of time for those things."
"Are you sure?" His eyes show so many emotions. They really are like windows to his soul, no matter how cliché that sounds.
"Yes, I'm sure. Now," I say as I move to straddle his lap. "I don't think I gave you the grand tour of my house last night. There might be some other rooms you wanna see."
His smile is blinding as his eyes turn darker, predatory. "Show me."
And I do. Three times. I think his age just might be one of my favorite things about him. Youth equals stamina and quick recovery time.
o*O*o*4*o*O*o
A/N: I hope you remember who Smoky the Bear is … and that only YOU can prevent forest fires. :) I have a brother-in-law who's a Bureau of Land Management Law Enforcement Officer. My sister has reminded me many times how dangerous an open flame in the forest can be. Then she tells me about her four-year-old, the Human Tornado, and whatever substance she's dumped all over the carpet, or couch, or bed, or tile that day. After the story of the sharpie all over the brand new suede sectional sofa I pretty much believe my darling niece is a weapon of mass destruction. My sister needs a nanny for just that one little girl. :D