Chapter Two: Truth Be Told

Angel stared at Willow in confusion. "What do you mean 'Yes, you were,'? Willow, I thought you lost control of the magicks when you tried to destroy the world?"

"I did, but I still knew what I was doing. The magicks that Giles gave me was enough that I could have gotten control and stopped the seductive whispers of the magicks, but I didn't care enough to stop it. Without Tara my world was nothing but darkness. Why would I want to live in darkness?" Willow asked, looking at her oldest friend.

Angel reached out and pulled Willow into a hug, holding her close to him. Willow was the only person that Angel had hugged in almost a century, refusing to allow anyone else to mean as much to him as Buffy once had.

Willow allowed herself to accept the comfort, even knowing that she didn't deserve it. Not after what she did, not after her addiction to magic had resulted in not only her love's death, but her own curse.

After the thought came to her, Willow pulled away from Angel and walked over to look out the window into the darkness that always surrounded her home. She had chosen the one house that sunlight would never reach for her own punishment. She didn't deserve to live in the light, not after everything. She belonged in the darkness like all the other evil creatures walking the earth.

Willow looked back at Angel. "I should have died with them, Angel," Willow whispered, grieving for her friends once more. "I should have died in battle beside them."

"There's a reason your still alive, Will. The Powers That Be must have some plan for you."

"Eternal suffering," Willow muttered, turning her back to him.

"No. Something good," Angel offered, hoping to make his friend feel somewhat better.

"Angel, the only thing the Powers That Be ever gave me was my soul mate dead in my arms and eternal suffering until I find her and convince her to love me," Willow said, looking at the picture of her and Tara holding each other sitting on the nightstand.

"That wasn't the PTB. That was Warren, Amy, and some random witch that did that to you."

Willow stiffened and slowly turned to look at Angel, her black eyes hardening before she spoke. "They didn't stop it. They didn't care to intervene and prevent any of that. They could have saved Tara, and I never would have given into the dark magicks. They could have stopped me from killing Warren, but they didn't. They let Tara die in my arms. They let me fall beneath the dark magicks and skin Warren alive. They stood by while Amy and her friend cursed me for eternity and made it so I watched my friends and family die."

"I'm sorry, Willow. I know it's hard. I lived through it too, longer than you have," he reminded her, hoping to give comfort but instead infuriating her.

"No you don't, Angel. You choose to become a vampire and live for eternity. You choose to kill your family while you were that vampire. You may not have asked for a soul, but you wanted the rest of it. I didn't. The only thing I choose for myself was learning the magicks. Now I'm stuck as a monster for the rest of the world to see my darkness. I didn't ask for this curse, Angel. I didn't ask to live forever in darkness while those I love died. I didn't choose this life," Willow whispered, her anger evaporating as she realized just how much her life had changed since she innocently started working magic.

Angel walked up behind Willow touching her shoulder. "You're right. I did choose to become a vampire because I wanted to see the world and live forever. I didn't know what it would mean, but I didn't care. Now I know. Now I care," he told her. "I'd give anything to go back and change my decision. Maybe then, Buffy would be alive and you wouldn't have gotten involved in magic."

"Angel, if you hadn't become a vampire, we all would have died so much sooner," she reminded him, looking at the ground. "You saved us so many times," she told him.

"Yeah, but the vampires I turned and the ones they turned wouldn't be here. Spike wouldn't have killed those other slayers, and Buffy may not have become a slayer," he whispered, feeling guilty.

"You don't know that. Angel, there's so many things I could have done differently before. I could have stayed away from magic all together. I could have just loved Tara and not become obsessed with magic. I could have just let Buffy stay in heaven and not bring her back with dark magicks. There was so much stuff that we could have done differently, but it doesn't matter. We can't change anything. I'm just throwing a pity party," she said, giving him a forced smile.

The smile didn't reach her eyes, just like all the others. Willow's smiles never reached her eyes anymore, not since Tara. After Tara's death, Willow forced many smiles. A few smiles were real, but they never reached her eyes. When Buffy died, Willow rarely let any emotion show, fearing that she'd break if she allowed herself a grain of emotion. After Xander and Dawn's death, Willow finally broke down and cried, but soon pulled herself together and shut herself off to the world, refusing to allow herself to let anyone else into her heart.

The two stood in silence as they remembered the past and their friends. They stayed like that for a while before Willow stiffened and lifted her head to look out the window again.

"What's wrong?" Angel asked, watching Willow.

"Tara," she whispered, as she vanished from the room.

"I hate when she does that," Angel muttered, before running out of the house to help Willow.

Standing outside Tara's house, Willow felt the anger and fear flowing from the home as she watched from the darkness. She could see people moving around in there, and could hear some of the words being shouted, but she was waiting. She wasn't going to intervene if she didn't need to. She wasn't going to show herself unless she had too.

As she watched, Willow heard a crash sound through the house and recognized it as glass shattering against the wall. Stiffening, Willow felt the fear rise and knew that Tara was afraid. She frowned when the fear grew so much that it nearly brought Willow to her knees. Moving forward, Willow used her magic to throw the door wide open and her anger rose at the sight of Tara pressed to the wall by a man with graying hair and cold blue eyes.

"I suggest," she said, her voice low and dangerous, "that you let her go."

"Who are you?" the man snapped, watching Willow with fear and anger his blue eyes.

"You're worst nightmare," she said, lifting her hand in a "C" shape towards him.

The man's eyes widened as he fell to the ground, holding his throat and coughing.

"Stop, please," a voice begged, causing Willow to turn her head and see an older version of Tara.

Willow stared at the woman before looking at the man and dropping her hand to her side. "Touch her again, and I will kill you," Willow whispered, watching the main for a sign that he understood Willow's words. When he nodded in understanding, Willow turned and started to walk out but her path was blocked by the woman who had begged her to stop.

Willow lifted an eyebrow in question at the woman as she surveyed her. "Willow?" the woman whispered.