I looked at the clock again. "Do you think it normally takes this long?" I asked Phil with slight worry in my voice. I looked at Phil and he looked surprised. "What?" I asked wondering what the look was for.
"Nothing, I'm sure it's fine." Phil assured me grabbing my hand but I rose to my feet and began to pace.
"Why do you always have to do that?" He seemed angry and annoyed as he rose to his feet too.
"What do you mean?" I asked not stopping the pacing but still watching Phil. He breathed in and let out a long breathe like he was debating if he should say something he knew he would regret later.
"Nothing." He said finally turning away and running his fingers through his hair as he did when he was frustrated.
"You're lying." I pointed out. He suddenly turned and looked furiously at me as he released something that he had obviously been holding onto for a very long time:
"DO you even love me anymore?" He nearly screamed then smacked his hand to his mouth, muttered a 'Sorry.' between his fingers and turned to leave. I launched myself across the room and grabbed his arm gentley.
"Why would you ever think I didn't love you anymore?" I asked tearing up at the thought of Phil ever thinking or fearing I didn't love him any longer. He swallowed then whispered
"Because I don't even recognize you and if feels like you don't want to be apart of this," He gestured to the closed door then at himself "Anymore." I pulled him away from the door gentley and into my arms, he seemed unsure, but let me continue the motion. I tried to think of something, anything that would prove to the both of us that I wanted this as much as he did.
Then I realized we were swaying. I didn't know if he had started it of if he did but it felt nice. I remembered something from a distant memory that brought a smile to my face.
"Do you remember the first time I asked you to dance?" I whispered in his ear. I felt him smile as he pressed his face into my shoulder, just like he had done so long ago.
It had only been a week when we had offically started dating and we were invited to a stuffy BBC Ball thing. We had only agreed to go because our heating was out, we would get paid to do interviews, and free food. Phil had looked so dashing in his tux it had made me want to tell the world. I would have said 'See that beautiful, handsome, amazing man right there; yeah, I'm dating him!' I probably would have too, if Phil had begged me not to do anyhting stupid before we left. When the music swelled and the drinks were finally hitting me, I had risen from my chair, bent to Phil and asked "May I have this dance?" He had blushed said I was being stupid but agreed after our table practically pushed us onto the dance floor.
"Dan," Phil had whispered as I pulled him closer than nesscaray "People are staring."
"I would be too, if I was as handsome as you are right now." I had replied that's when he had smiled into my shoulder and we danced the night away. Not to mention the amazing morning after where we did nothing all day except enjoy each other's company.
The door opening caused us both to part and look up. Nadia was smiling and Jennifer looked a little shaken but fine as a whole.
"They're in there." Nadia gave a thumbs up. We both smiled but I wasn't sure if was because of the akwardness or happiness.
"Cool." I replied giving her a good thumbing back as Jennifer slipped out of the room to change.
"How long does it take to find out if it worked or not?" Phil asked curiously but I could still see the fear of it not working at all. Nadia gave him a reassuring smile and a pat on the shoulder like I had done in the countless videos when I was still getting the courage to ask Phil out.
"It will take at least fourteen days to know for sure." Nadia gave a sad smile at Phil's impatientness.
"Fourteen days?" Phil asked, agast.
"It takes time Mr. Howell-Lester, I'm sorry." That's went Jennifer joined our little converstation but Nadia continued as if nothing happened at all. "The best I can do is write you a perscription for a home pergnancy test." That's when she turned to Jennifer and placed her hand on Jennifer's shoulder like Phil's asked "Would that be okay?" It seemed like Nadia was a parent seeing if she and Jennifer could reach an agreement on something trivial. 'We can't get ice cream now but we can get some when we get home. Would that be okay?' My mind played out the scene as Jennifer nodded and Nadia gave her the note to give to the pharmacy.
We all exited the clinic in slience. Phil and I holding each other's hand, while Jennifer clung to a bag holding the one way we could find out it we would get a family after all. Jennifer seemed wide eyed and scared so I wrapped an arm around her shoulders like a scarf then said
"It'll be okay." And for once in a very, very long time I actually thought it was true.