Chapter Seventeen: The Past Hurts

"Hey," Willow whispered, standing outside of Laura's hospital room as she stared at the granddaughter of her long deceased best friend. "How are you feeling?"

"Aunt Willow, come in," Laura said, seeing the woman standing in the doorway was making no effort to come in. "I'm glad you're here."

Willow smiled slightly at Laura's words as she walked cautiously into the room. "How are you feeling?" she asked again, stopping a few feet away.

"I'm okay. The doctors have me on medication to help the pain. Have you seen Tara?" Laura wondered, worry in her voice as she thought about her daughter being left alone.

"I talked to her last night and stayed with her until morning," Willow told her, watching Laura relax. "I made you a promise."

"Thank you. You can never know how much it means to me knowing that you'll watch her after I'm gone."

"I wish I could save you," Willow whispered, watching Laura with a sad look in her green eyes.

"I know, but I don't need saving. It's my time Willow. We both know the goddess always calls us home sooner or later."

Willow just nodded, a frown forming on her face. "Why doesn't she take the kindest souls while they're so young?"

"I don't know. Maybe she just thinks their ready," Laura explained, knowing that Willow wasn't just talking about her now.

"I won't let her die young again," Willow promised, lifting her eyes to look at Laura.

"Who? Tara?"

Willow nodded, staring at Laura as the blonde understood what Willow was trying to say. "Tara's the old lover that was killed. The one you were talking about when you attacked Donald. That's why you asked Donald if he was related to your Tara, isn't it?"

Willow frowned and looked at her. "Yes, your daughter is the reincarnation of my lost lover."

"I'm not sure how I feel about that," Laura admitted, giving Willow an awkward smile.

"Neither am I. My Tara was older then yours when I first met her. We met in college in a Wiccan group. She died three years after we started dating," Willow told her, looking at Laura as she spoke. "A nerd that your grandmother was having problems with shot her when he shot your grandmother. Buffy lived. Tara didn't."

"You killed him though?"

"Yes. I lost control, gave into the magic inside of me. The same magics that Tara hated. I didn't know there was a darkness in me for a long time until I nearly lost Tara. When I held her in my arms as she died, I stopped caring there was a darkness and let it have full control. I took whatever magic I could and I killed Warren. After that, I lost control. I killed a dark magic dealer, fought Buffy because she tried to protect two nerds that had worked with Warren before he shot Tara. Nearly killed Giles, and tried to destroy the world."

At the beginning of Willow's confession, Tara had started to walk in the door, only to stop as she listened to Willow's words, staring at her mother and Willow as they talked. "What stopped you?" Laura wondered, knowing her daughter was there, but also knowing Tara needed to hear this as much as Willow needed to say it.

"Xander. He talked to me. Reminded me of how we became friends and told me he still loved me. That he'd love me no matter what."

Laura smiled, remembering the kind old man she knew. "He was always such a softie. Aunt Dawn use to roll her eyes every time he'd tell us stories about how he earned his pirate patch and all the adventures him and Grandma Summers use to have."

Willow smiled as well, remembering watching from a distance as her old friend told the stories to the newest scoobies. "He was wise in his own way. It always surprised me how wise he could be. I remember in the battle against Caleb and the First how Caleb had said Xander sees everything. It's why he tried to take Xander's sight. I'm glad we stopped him before he could take it completely."

"Do you ever think about what you would change?" Laura asked, staring at Willow curiously.

"All the time. I sometimes wish I was the one standing in front of that window all those years ago."

"But if you were, the last battle may not have been won," Laura pointed out.

"I disagree. Tara could have played my part. She could have activated the other slayers. Buffy didn't need me. If I had died instead of Tara, the world would have been a better place," Willow said softly, a sadness filling her voice as she spoke.

"You don't know that," Tara argued, speaking for the first time since entering the room and surprising Willow in the process.

Willow jumped slightly at Tara's voice, jerking around to face the blonde. "How long have you been standing there?" Willow wondered, worried about what the blonde may have heard.

"I walked in while you were talking about your Tara. You were talking about how you met in college," Tara admitted, watching Willow stare at her in silence and feeling guilty for listening in on her mother's conversation with the dark witch. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have listened."

"You knew she was here, didn't you?" Willow asked, directing the question at Laura as she stared at Tara.

"I saw her walk in," Laura told her, worried she had upset Willow.

"You shouldn't have had to hear that," Willow said softly, watching Tara with worry and discomfort in her green eyes.

"I'm glad I did," Tara admitted, giving Willow a gentle smile.

Willow didn't say anything. She just looked at Tara for another moment before turning back to Laura. "I'll come by to see you again tomorrow," Willow promised as she turned to walk from the room, only to be stopped by Tara.

"I'm sorry for listening to your conversation," Tara told her, not wanting Willow to leave because of her. "I just couldn't stop myself."

Willow just nodded, looking at Tara for a moment before walking out of the room in silence, leaving Tara and Laura looking after her in confusion and guilt.

A/N: Thank you Gimpy72 for all the help with this chapter and the others. :)