Chapter Eighteen: Friendly Advice

"Hey, Red," Faith said, watching the witch walk past her in silence, not responding to Faith's greeting. "Red?"

Willow continued up the stairs, not hearing Faith as she tried to escape her thoughts and the realization that Tara knew what she was. That Tara knew she was a monster.

"Willow?"

The sound of her name being said so softly, caused Willow to flinch as she turned to face the intruder, surprised to see Faith standing there. "What?"

"What happened, Red?" Faith asked, staring at the confused redhead.

"Tara knows."

"Knows what?" Faith wondered, not understanding Willow's words.

"She knows what I did. Knows what I am."

"Red..."

Willow just shook her head, stopping Faith from trying to make her feel better. "Don't tell me I'm not a monster. Don't tell me that I'm judging myself to harshly. I know better, Faith. I know what I am."

"What does that make me then? I killed a lot more people then you, Red? I joined the enemy to bring about the apocalypse. You and I are a lot alike, Red. So tell me, what does it make me if you're just a monster? What am I?"

"You were just a kid, Faith. You were confused. You did your time and became a better person," Willow argued, looking at her friend in surprise.

"So have you. You were grieving after losing the love of your life. You felt guilty for killing a man that was more of a monster than either of us. You felt guilty for killing a magic dealer. You're not a monster, Red. And just like me, you paid for your crimes."

"I didn't go to jail. I've been walking free since Warren's death. How did I pay for my crimes?" Willow asked, anger in her voice as Faith tried to prove Willow wrong.

"Because you've been punishing yourself. You still are. Even a century later, you're still punishing yourself."

"Because what I did was wrong! I killed people, Faith. I flayed a man, and enjoyed it. I deserve to suffer for what I've done," Willow told her, frowning at the slayer.

"So have I, Willow. I may not have flayed a man, but I have staked one. I have killed a lot more people than you have. I held a knife to your throat. I nearly killed Angel in an attempt to make Buffy's life a living hell. I was ten times worse than you could ever be."

"Faith..." Willow said, feeling guilty for causing the brunette pain as she thought about her past.

"You're not a monster, Willow. No more than I am."

Willow just nodded, knowing Faith was right. They had both messed up and made mistakes. They had both killed people, but neither one of them was a monster. Because unlike Warren, they both felt guilt for the things they had done.

"Thanks," Willow whispered, looking at Faith and giving her a soft smile. "I needed that reminder. Tara overheard me talking about some of the things I've done. I panicked."

"It's cool, Red. Just next time, remember who your talking to. Both Anya and I have done worse things then you have." Faith paused as she waited for Willow to accept her words before continuing. "How did Tara react?"

Willow shrugged and looked off to the side. "I don't know. She said she was glad she overheard, but I'm sure it scared her. I mean...I talked about how I killed Warren and Rack. I admitted to trying to end the world."

"But you didn't give her time to react? Come on, Red! Why would you leave without knowing where you stand? Are you going to go talk to her tonight?"

"No. I'm going to stay here, and then see Laura again tomorrow morning," Willow explained, looking at the slayer.

"You need to talk to her, Red. You promised her you'd be there for her."

"And if she doesn't want me around anymore?" Willow asked, frowning at the brunette.

"Then you need to decide if that's more important then your promise to her mother," Faith said simply, knowing Willow already knew the answer.

"I'll talk to her tomorrow after I see Laura," Willow promised, turning away from Faith and over to stand by her bedroom window to look out at the sky.

"You better, Red."

"I will," Willow assured her, glancing back over her shoulder at Faith before looking back out at the night sky. "I just need time to gather my thoughts about everything."

Faith nodded, watching Willow for a moment before walking down the stairs, knowing the witch needed some time alone to figure things out. "Faith?" Willow whispered, stopping the slayer from disappearing.

"Yeah?"

"What would you do if you were in my position? Would you let her go or fight like hell?"

"If someone meant as much to me as Tara does to you, I'd fight like hell until she tells me straight up that she doesn't want me or anything to do with me. Then I'd let her go," Faith told her, watching Willow curiously.

"I sometimes wonder if I should just give up. Then when I do just that, she pulls me back in. I can't let her go because when I do, I manage to find whatever excuse necessary to go back to her. It just...it hurts to keep trying to fight for something I may never have again," Willow admitted, keeping her back to Faith.

"Then you need to ask yourself if she's worth all that pain."

"She's always been worth it. I would suffer for all eternity if I could kiss her one more time," Willow said, finally turning to face the brunette.

"Looks like you know what you need to do then."

"Kiss her?" Willow asked, confused by Faith's words.

"Fight for her."

A/N: Thank you Gimpy72 for all the help with this story and all my others.