A/N: As ever, apologies for the massive delay in updating! I've been in exam mode for the last six weeks or so and only just finished, and this chapter proved particularly hard to write. Hopefully it's worth the wait :)

Also, pushing on that M rating a little in this chapter...

'Would you stop pacing?' Aubrey complains, her eyes following Beca back and forth. 'You're making me dizzy.'

'I can't help it.'

'Then go pace outside instead. Lord knows you could do with the exercise - I'm betting you don't do cardio with the Bellas anymore.'

She decides not to respond to that last part. 'No. It's freezing out there.'

'Then bring a coat, jeez. Just stop marching around like some sort of crazed animal.' She doesn't, and in fact exaggerates her movements to be even more like a "crazed animal"; Aubrey sighs in annoyance. 'Why are you so worked up, anyway? Surely if anyone should be burning a hole in the carpet, it's Chloe, not you.'

'Seriously? I'm meeting her ex,' Beca says, pushing her hands through her hair as she does another lap of the room. Chloe is in her bedroom getting ready, so she and Aubrey are talking in hushed tones so as not to attract her attention. It's getting harder and harder to keep the adrenaline at bay, hence her pacing. 'I know practically nothing about her besides what Chloe has told me, and a few texts she let me see. I have no idea what I'm letting myself in for.'

'She's a bitch, and she hurt Chloe,' replies Aubrey bluntly. 'That's all you need to know.'

'Well, duh, but what is she like? Is she a complete psycho that will jump over the table and throw burning coffee in my eyes as soon as I get there? Or is she a quiet killer kind of person, and she'll just sit there in silence until I get distracted, and then BAM! Oh no, she's just stabbed me in the face?'

The look Aubrey gives her is the same exasperated expression Chloe often has when Beca's being like this, but it's missing her usual fondness. '"Bam"?'

'Well, I don't know what noise stabbing makes, do I?'

'Oh, give me strength,' says Aubrey, burying her face in one of Chloe's cushions for a moment as though it might actually have some strength-giving powers. 'Beca, you knew this was coming, and you agreed to go with her - you can't back out now.'

'And I'm not trying to!' Beca whisper-yells, glaring at Aubrey. 'But that doesn't stop me being worried about what I'm up against!'

'She's just a girl - granted, one who hurt Chloe a lot, but she's not a murderer. Besides, she's nothing to you.'

'Of course she is. She's Chloe's ex girlfriend.'

'You're Chloe's girlfriend now,' Aubrey snaps. 'Stop being selfish - Chloe needs you to be there for her today, and she won't have that if all you're doing is worrying about yourself. And for God's sake, sit down already, you're driving me crazy!' Aubrey launches the frilly cushion she was just holding at Beca; it barely misses her, and, narrowly, one of Chloe's favourite photo frames of the Bellas. 'Oops.'

It does its job in distracting Beca, however, as she suddenly can longer find the energy to pace. She sits down heavily on the couch next to Aubrey, legs tingling from all the sudden movement. 'I'm telling Chloe you just did that.'

'She'd never believe you.' Even so, Aubrey gets up and replaces the cushion guiltily. As she's putting it back into place, she throws an appraising look back at Beca. 'You know, you're being especially stupid today. Why is that? I thought you were okay with this.'

'I don't know,' replies Beca, biting down on the nail of her thumb. 'I thought I was, too.'

'Well, I suppose it's natural to be a bit nervous,' says Aubrey. 'Maybe I should go with you guys. I'd love to meet this Kate character, and make her regret the day she ever messed Chloe around.'

'By doing what, vomiting on her?' She's not even bothered by the way Aubrey glares in response to that remark, because her patience for this conversation is wearing thin. It was nice of Aubrey to extend her trip so she could help Beca take care of Chloe while she was sick, and be around for when she met Kate, but she and Aubrey have perhaps spent a bit too much time together recently in their attempts to spend time with Chloe.

'Well, what are you going to do?' Aubrey shoots back. 'Stab her with your ear spike?'

'Nothing,' says Beca flatly. 'Chloe's going to do most of the talking. I'm just going to sit there and look threatening.'

Aubrey snorts. 'You couldn't look threatening if you tried.'

'Screw you.'

It's a weak response: Aubrey seems almost disappointed. But she goes on, 'Anyway, are you sure it's a good idea to just let Chloe handle it all on her own?'

'Of course,' Beca replies, a tad defensively on Chloe's behalf, and her own for the comment about her ability to look threatening. 'I mean, I'm not happy about her having to do handle it, but she can do it.' She gazes at Aubrey carefully. 'You don't agree, do you?'

'It's not that I don't think she can handle it,' Aubrey says, dropping her voice lower and glancing towards the bedroom. 'It's just... Well, Chloe likes to make everyone think she has it all together and she knows what she's doing, but...' She winces. 'Chloe's fragile, sometimes.'

Beca is silent for a moment, and then states, 'Sorry, Aubrey, that sounds like a load of bullshit to me.'

'What?'

'Chloe's pretty sensitive sometimes, I'll give you that. But she's also really strong at the same time, you know? Even when things are really shitty she can almost always keep her head up and see the silver lining. The only thing is, she spends a lot of her time trying to please other people and make them happy, so she sometimes plays down her own problems, or ... hides...' Beca trails off, sighing as something hits her. 'Shit. I think I know what's going on with Chloe.'

'You do?' says Aubrey, alarmed.

'She's been hiding stuff from me, right? But I don't think she'd be doing that just to be a dick to me. And if she's not doing that, she must be going through something, but trying to hide it because she's worried it'll upset me or make me worried.' She looks at Aubrey, pleased with her deduction, but she's putting her hand to her forehead.

'Beca... That's exactly what we've been telling you all along.'

'... Oh.'

'Remind me why we made you captain again if your observation and listening skills are this bad?' Aubrey rolls her eyes. 'But yes, you're right. And that's why I keep saying you need to be the strong one today, because if she starts thinking she needs to take care of you instead, she'll completely ignore her own needs.' She frowns at Chloe's bedroom door. 'Speaking of Chloe... She's been in there a really long time. Do you think she's okay?'

Beca, still mulling over what Aubrey just said and batting down an ever-growing sinking feeling, takes a moment to realise Aubrey just asked her something. 'Probably not,' Beca admits, 'but I don't really want to go get her, since I'm not that eager to leave, either.' She jumps when Aubrey puts a hand on her shoulder, not expecting the contact. 'What are you doing?'

'Comforting you. God.'

'Well, can you do it without touching me?'

'And I thought I was high-strung... Look, it's all going to be fine,' Aubrey tells her. 'And I wouldn't say that to you if I didn't think so. But first, you have to pull your head out of your ass and stop worrying so much, because Chloe needs you.' She stresses this last part, looking at Beca like a stern parent. 'I know that you're anxious about what might happen, but think how she must be feeling.'

She could argue, just for the sake of it, and because it's Aubrey. But Beca knows full well that she has absolutely no legs to stand on, here. She knows Aubrey is right: if she's worried, then Chloe must be feeling it ten times worse. She shouldn't be making it about her: she's just being selfish by thinking about her own feelings over Chloe's. Ironically ,the realisation seems to make her feel even worse.

'I hate when you're right,' growls Beca.

'You mean all the time?'

Thankfully - for Aubrey, anyway - she's saved from a sarcastic retort by Beca's phone ringing. She raises an eyebrow when she sees who it is. 'It's Jesse... Hey loser,' she greets him, rather confused. 'What's up?

'Hey!' comes Jesse's excited voice on the other end. 'Where are you?'

'Uh... At Chloe's. Why?'

'You're still at Chloe's? You're cutting it pretty fine, aren't you? You're going to have to run all the way here.'

'What are you talking ab -' Beca's eyes widen, as she remembers. 'Fuck!'

Jesse seems to understand immediately why she just swore. 'You forgot, didn't you.'

'Jesse, I'm sorry, it went completely out of my mind -'

'Beca, we planned this ages ago!' Beca does vaguely recollect Jesse going on about some movie or other that he was really excited about and asking her to come with him because it was history in the making and she absolutely had to see it, but she might have been texting Chloe simultaneously. Shit. 'How could you forget?'

'I know, I know. I'm a massive dick.' She groans, pressing her hand against her forehead. 'I'm seriously really sorry, dude.'

'Ugh - okay, we can talk about how you can make it up to me another time,' he says. 'Look, we've missed the showing I wanted us to see, but if you leave now and really hustle, we could still catch the next one.'

'Ah...' she says, feeling even more guilty as he makes a noise of annoyance. 'About that. I've kind of got something really important to do today...'

She can practically hear his eyes roll. 'Of course. What is it?'

'Well, Chloe's -'

'Oh, of course it's Chloe you're blowing me off for.'

His tone grates on her already frayed nerves. 'Look, I said I was sorry for missing our thing, but you don't need to get butthurt because the thing I'm doing is with my girlfriend instead of you, Jesse.'

'I think I'm allowed to be a bit "butthurt" if we made plans a month ago and you're now only telling me about this super important thing you have to do today!'

'The details only got finalised a few days ago. We're meeting Kate today.'

That makes him stop huffing. 'You are?'

'Yeah, and Jess, I can't let Chloe go alone.'

'What, and they just happened to organise a meeting on the day we were meant to meet up?'

'Oh, for the love of... No, it's just how things happened. I don't have time to argue you with you right now - I'll talk to you later.'

'Wait - give me the phone,' hisses Aubrey suddenly, making a grab for it. She nearly knocks it out of Beca's hands in her haste.

'What? No!'

Jesse says, 'Who's that?'

'Aubrey,' Beca replies, trying to block Aubrey's path to the phone with her body.

'Aubrey Posen? Why is she there?' He sounds suspicious. 'Are you sure it's a Kate thing you're blowing me off for?'

'Yes. She was here already visiting Chloe. And she wants me to give her the phone.'

'Why?'

'I don't know, she's weird.' Jesse makes a sound of agreement, and for once he and Beca have a united front. But Aubrey snatches the phone off Beca and presses it to her ear.

'Hello, Jesse. This is Aubrey. Look, I know Beca can be rather pigheaded and scatter-brained sometimes -' Beca glares at her - 'But I can vouch for her. Kate wasn't being very accommodating, and Chloe couldn't get any other time off work. She wanted to see Chloe ASAP.' Aubrey hums. 'I know, I would be disappointed too... The trailers did look rather spectacular.'

'What are you guys doing in here?' Chloe's voice comes from in the doorway; she's staring at Aubrey. 'Who is Aubrey talking to on the phone?'

'Jesse.'

'What? Why?'

'I have no idea. At first she was defending me, now I feel like she's putting the moves on my best friend.'

'Yeah, I'm a fan of his work as well - shut up, Beca!' snaps Aubrey, overhearing that last part.

'See?' Chloe doesn't smile. 'You okay?' asks Beca, getting up to join her. Chloe lifts Beca's arms and wraps them around her, pressing her face into Beca's neck. She's trembling a bit, and although she's past that short bout of illness now, Beca is concerned some of its effects are still lingering. 'Are you sure you're well enough for this?'

'I don't know,' she whispers. 'I feel so sick.'

'We can cancel.'

'I can't... I need to see her.'

'Are you sure? Because honestly, it's not too late.'

'Beca please,' she says, voice wavering. 'I already feel unsure about this as it is - don't make it any worse.'

A comment like that stings. But she remembers what Aubrey said about not making it about her, and forces herself to push that down and ttakes a deep breath. 'Right. Sorry. Uh... What can I do to help, then?'

She squeezes Beca, the hands on her back cold even through the material of her shirt. 'Just this.'

'That's all? I guess I can do that.' She pulls Chloe in a little tighter, feeling more like she's holding her up than just holding her. She feels rather useless, just doing this, but she supposes if that's all Chloe thinks she needs, that's what she should give her.

'God, they're really getting into it,' murmurs Chloe. Beca looks around, and sure enough, Aubrey is chatting away to Jesse. She and Chloe share a glance.

'I swear to God, if something starts up, I'll kill both of them.'

'Maybe it's not like that,' she says. 'Maybe it's the thrill of finally being able to talk to a Treble.'

'Did you forget about Unicycle? I think she's had that thrill already.'

'Oh, yeah.' She and Chloe share another look, and tacitly agree to stay the hell out of this one. Thankfully, Aubrey seems to be finishing up as they watch.

'What the hell was that about?' says Beca, as Aubrey hands the phone back.

'I'm going to see that movie with Jesse.'

'What?' Beca exclaims. 'Why?'

'Well, what else do you propose I do? Stay here all on my own?' She shrugs. 'The way I see it, Jesse and I are in a similar boat, since you guys are doing other things.'

Beca is irritated by this comment, especially as Aubrey made such a fuss about her bringing things back to herself. However, Chloe looks troubled. 'Bree...' She detaches from Beca, walking over to Aubrey to give her a hug. 'I'm so sorry, I know I've barely been able to spend time with you lately. It's just that everything's such a mess lately -'

Aubrey, thankfully, cuts Chloe off with a gentle little tap on her shoulder. 'It's fine, Chlo. There's no need to apologise - I just don't want to stay here on my own, that's all.' She looks over at Beca. 'You better take care of her, Mitchell,' Aubrey says, mock-threateningly, but Beca can see the worry in her eyes. 'Or you'll have me to answer to.'

She smiles as reassuringly as she can, even though inside her heart is already picking up speed. 'Don't worry. I think I'd be answering to myself, too.'

Since finding out she existed, Beca has honestly never spared much time to think of what Chloe's ex-girlfriend might look like. She'd been given basic details by Chloe: blonde, blue eyes, and, in Chloe's vague words, "super skinny". When Beca does picture her, her mental image is usually akin to a female Luke (minus the six-pack, stubble and penchant for beanies) - tall and grumpy looking. Descriptions of her personality have in recent times made Beca imagine her with a pair of devil horns creeping out from beneath her hair, or at least some sort of sinister tattoo, because only overtly evil people can ever hurt Chloe intentionally, as far as Beca is concerned.

But as they're walking up to meet Kate, this question can't help but cross Beca's mind - what does she look like? What features would Chloe have even been attracted to about her? Blonde is completely different to Beca's hair, of course, but blue eyes and skinny sounds suspiciously like herself now that she thinks about it. Is that what Chloe is into? Blue eyes and skinny girls? She supposes there's nothing particularly suspicious about that, given that they're common features, but it does make her wonder about what sort of things Chloe likes, physically, about a person. They've never talked about types or taste, and Tom isn't exactly much to go by; does Beca fit Chloe's "type", or is she the exception to the rule?

It shouldn't matter, but it does. Ever since Chloe showed her some of her old messages from Kate, and Chloe had made a comment about something she and Chloe's ex-girlfriend actually had in common: in particular, some of Kate's more abrasive behaviour.

Beca had shuddered to read them even before that comment. She could barely go a full sentence without knocking Chloe down. 'Can we meet up today? not seen you in ages,' Chloe would text, and Kate would reply something along the lines of, 'I dunno. Might be meeting up with Louise.' Louise, according to Chloe, was one of the first few girls Kate had cheated with - she listed off a whole load of girls on her fingers. And she knew all of their names.

'Kidding,' Kate would text back, when enough time had passed that she could be sure Chloe had both read the text and begun to get upset. 'I suppose we can meet up, if you really want, but I can't stay too long. I guess you'll have to make it worth my while? ;)'

'She was always like this?' Beca had asked, disgusted, scrolling through the messages and trying to ignore the more explicit ones without much luck. Chloe had nodded. 'Fucking hell.'

'I know. But she could be sweet, too,' she said, stopping Beca's scrolling to point out one in particular. She read it, and had to turn away to gag.

'That's not sweet,' Beca exclaimed. She pushed the phone away, unable to read anymore. 'That's like a cross between a a Hallmark card and some creepy-ass porn movie.'

'She was so grouchy the rest of the time, I guess it counted as sweet for her.' Chloe had shrugged, and then said offhandedly, 'I suppose you and her are a bit alike in that way.'

Beca had spluttered, Chloe's eyes had widened as she realised how offensive that sounded. She'd spent the next hour or so trying to apologise for the comment; she'd brushed off each of the apologies, but the damage had already been done. Even now, she keeps thinking about it: Beca has always thought herself witty or amusingly pessimistic, but Kate's behaviour in those texts just seems annoying at best, deliberately hurtful at worst. The thought of acting the slightest bit like someone who had the power to make Chloe appear this pale and sickly brings a little kick of nausea to her own stomach.

She glances over at said girl now, who has been gradually reducing her walking pace to an aching, reluctant crawl over the last five minutes. At this point, she's barely moving her legs anymore. Beca nudges her. Chloe glances over.

'Hey,' says Beca, wanting to say or do anything to make this situation less tense and unbearable.

'... Hi,' Chloe croaks out eventually.

'You doing okay?'

The question seems to trigger something in Chloe, because she stops in the middle of the path. Someone nearly bumps into her and shoots her an annoyed look, but she ignores it. 'No,' Chloe mumbles.

'What's the matter?'

'... I don't want to do this anymore.'

Beca scratches her head, a little confused by the sudden change of heart. 'You want to go back?'

'Yes,' replies Chloe, but then follows it immediately with, 'No.' She shakes her head, and shuts her eyes. 'Honestly, I'd just like her to go away and leave me alone.'

'You and me both. So...' Beca licks her lips, rocking back and forth a little on her heels: unsure what to do. 'Home?' she asks hopefully.

Chloe seems to be seriously considering it for a few moments. Eventually, however, she says, 'No... I can't. That'd just be giving up. I at least want to hear what bullshit she has to say.'

'Alright.' The atmosphere turns awkward and tense again: Chloe doesn't move, and Beca kicks a stone across into a drain to try and ease some of her own discomfort. Chloe doesn't look at all confident about her decision, and Beca desperately wants to take away that lost look in her eyes. 'You know, I'm...' She clears her throat, feeling her cheeks heat up in anticipation of what hamfisted thing she's going to say. 'Look, I know I've been - well, yeah, about the whole thing with Kate -' (she makes a vague hand gesture, hoping that conveyed words such as "assholey, neurotic and paranoid" sufficiently), '... But I keep thinking about what you said, about me and Kate being similar.'

'You know I didn't mean it like that,' Chloe interrupts, looking upset. 'I didn't mean to make it sound like you were anything like her. You aren't.'

'I know,' says Beca, crossing her arms, as the way Chloe is staring at her makes her feel oddly vulnerable. 'But I keep thinking about it. And I don't want you to have to compare us on any level, ever again.'

'I said I was sorry.'

'I don't want you to apologise - that's not what I meant. God, this is coming out all wrong,' says Beca, rubbing her temples. She needs this to be right. 'Basically, I'm proud of you,' she says on an exhalation, trying her best to make eye-contact. 'That you're doing this.'

Chloe freezes. 'You are?'

'Yes,' she says, with a definitive nod. 'And - and I'm here for you, Chlo. And I'll help, however I can. Just tell me what to do.'

She begins to panic and worry that she said something wrong when Chloe's eyes start going rather glassy. Unsure of anything else she can do to make it better, she holds her arms out helplessly to Chloe and nearly falls over (narrowly missing yet another innocent pedestrian) when Chloe throws herself into them.

'Thank you - you don't know how much I've needed to hear you say that,' Chloe whispers into her ear.

'You shouldn't have to thank me.' She's not sure where all this is coming from, as it's not something she could dream of articulating before. 'I should just be there without you even needing to think about it. You shouldn't have to keep stuff from me because you're trying to protect me, or stop me worrying - you should be able to trust me. And I'm sorry I haven't been someone that you could trust.'

'I can trust you, Beca, it's just...'

'It doesn't matter,' says Beca quickly. 'I guess I haven't really shown that I deserve that trust. But I'm going to try and change that - I promise.'

Chloe pulls back, looking at Beca in wonder. 'Who are you, and what have you done with the old Beca?'

'Something Aubrey and I were talking about kind of clicked with me, I guess.'

'Huh. Remind me to thank her.'

'I will.' Beca can still feel her pulse racing with something akin to panic or adrenaline; it takes a few seconds to realise what it is that's building up in her chest and making her heart do somersaults, and when she does, she's never felt more like a cheesy romcom. But she goes with it anyway, for once in her damn life. 'Chloe... I lo -' Chloe's eyebrows shoot up as the words nearly come out, but trip on her tongue at the last moment, again. Frustrated, the next time she tries she can't even start to form the words, too self-conscious. 'Fuck,' she says, throwing her hands up. 'You know what I'm going to say anyway, right?'

Chloe smiles, smoothing the frown out on Beca's forehead with her thumbs. 'Oh?'

'Yep. You do - it's something like this.' She shows Chloe an ill-formed heart shape with her hands, recalling how the Bellas used to laugh at her inability to do this simple shape during rehearsals. Beca can do it now, but intentionally messes it up to make Chloe laugh, and thankfully she does just that. 'Only it's less like a turnip.'

'You're a dork. You know that?'

'Yeah... But you turnip it.'

After that little break, Chloe seems calmer and able to move again. It makes walking up a little easier. Unfortunately, all levity or thoughts of turnips or love goes out of Beca's head, when she sees Kate for the first time.

Even from this far away, Kate is distinctive: she's the only blonde scowling down at her phone like it's offended her, occasionally pulling her leather jacket a little tighter around her when the wind picks up. At first, it's a fitting picture for the mental image Beca had built up from what she knows about Kate's aloof behaviour, but seeing it in the flesh almost makes her laugh at how absurdly typical it is. She might as well have "bitch" written on her forehead.

As they get closer and Beca can see her more clearly, however, the image starts to fall apart. For one, Kate is shorter than Beca had been anticipating - not as short as Beca (not many people are) but still closer to herself than Chloe in terms of height. In a way she finds this somewhat more comforting than if she were some six foot giant, but it sort of throws off the tall, willowy model she'd been picturing Chloe dating. In fact, she's pretty ordinary looking - she has a little smattering of freckles across her nose, for heaven's sake. Hardly a demon. And hardly like Beca at all, she realises with some relief, except for her blue eyes which are even completely devoid of make-up. No black eyeliner in sight.

Although, her features are definitely on par for Beca's in how angular they are - perhaps surpassing her in having a well-defined jaw line, she thinks rather grumpily - but maybe that's a side-effect of Kate being as thin as she is.

And she is. She's really fucking thin. It's the most striking thing about her to be honest - the words that come to mind are "gaunt", or perhaps "seriously freaking ill". It seems to Beca that this hasn't always been the case, because she hears Chloe stifle a gasp as the two of them finally see Kate properly for the first time. Either way, Kate's appearance makes for a disturbing first impression, especially when her lips curl up in either a horrible attempt at a smile or hiding a grimace when she notices them. And especially when she notices Beca.

'Who's this?' is the first thing Kate says. The look she's giving Beca right now is akin to one a normal person would give to a cockroach crawling over their shoes. Beca glares back, Kate's startling appearance forgotten as she immediately takes a more pronounced dislike to the girl. Not that she didn't dislike her before, but previously it was always on Chloe's behalf; now it's on her own terms.

'This is my girlfriend, Beca,' Chloe explains, squeezing Beca's hand. Her skin is damp with sweat. She holds back tightly nonetheless, defiantly meeting Kate's eyes and daring her to comment. 'I'm sorry for not telling you I was bringing her - it was a bit of a last minute thing.'

Kate raises an eyebrow, scanning up and down Beca. Her eyes settle on Beca's Barden University sticker on her bag. She snorts, flips her straggly hair back, and stalks off inside.

Chloe watches her go, and says under her breath, 'God, she looks awful.'

'Never mind that,' says Beca. 'Are you alright?'

'Yeah, of course.' She raises her eyebrows in disbelief, given that Chloe's face is unusually pale right now and she's still clutching Beca's hand like it's a lifeline. Still she insists, 'Really - I'm fine.'

'Yeah. You are,' she replies, and leans up to kiss Chloe. That seems to put a smile on her face, at least for a bit.

'Took you two long enough,' says Kate brusquely when they finally go in and sit down opposite her. 'You done snogging?' Beca nearly retorts but Chloe pushes down fairly hard on her toes with the heel of her shoe, so she holds back the venomous responses that are just waiting to come out. She just needs Kate to give her a reason. At least them being almost level on height and weight means she could probably take her in a fight, if it came to that.

An uncomfortable minute of silence follows as Kate just sits there staring at a stain on the table and fiddling with her fingers. Chloe seems to be struggling to find words to say, while Beca's gaze flits back and forth between the two of them, wondering what to do.

'Chloe, why don't you get us some drinks?' Beca asks eventually, hoping to both get Chloe out of this awkward situation and also to have a bit of time with Kate on her own. But Chloe steps on her foot again. 'Or, I'll get it?' Another step. 'Or not - Jesus, what do you want from me, woman?' She snorts, getting up. 'Fine, I'll be right back. The usual for you, I know,' she says, before Chloe can tell her what she wants. Her eyes fall on Kate. She should probably at least try to be polite, if only because maybe that'll make it easier for Chloe. 'And you - what do you want? Tea?'

Kate almost looks like she might be offended, if she were actually capable of emotion. 'Wow, stereotypes already? I'll just have a coffee.'

'Coming right up.' She pushes her chair back with just a tad more aggression than she might usually, catching Chloe's eye for a moment as she does - her expression is an odd mix of relief and distress. She can't tell which one is winning right now, and whether she just threw her girlfriend to the metaphorical lions by leaving her on her own. But she doesn't try to stop Beca leaving.

Still, as Beca orders them all drinks, she keeps a careful eye on the two of them and monitors Chloe's body language while the two talk. She does seem worried, if the way she keeps fiddling with the edge of the table cloth is anything to go by. But there's still a surprising strength in the way she's sitting ramrod straight and meeting Kate's gaze directly, while the other girl is slumped in her chair with her arms folded, pulling restlessly at a loose thread on her sweater. For once it seems like Chloe has the upper hand in this interaction.

Turning back to the counter, she doesn't suppress the pride in her smile. That's her girl.

Except...

It turns out, that she's an idiot, super fucking bad at reading body language, and managed to read the situation entirely the wrong way. This becomes immediately obvious when she returns to the table with the drinks: what she originally thought was Chloe showing strength is actually her overcompensating. Kate's posture, rather than being indicative of her own fear, is instead a sort of odd, aloof casualness. She can tell she made a mistake in leaving when Chloe looks up at her in desperation when she comes back with the drinks.

Her eyes are just a little too bright and she's biting down really hard on her bottom lip - not to mention, there's a bright red flush making its way up her neck. 'Everything alright here?' Beca asks, glaring daggers at Kate. Chloe nods fervently, taking the drinks off Beca and then tugging her quickly back into her seat. Underneath the table she quickly seizes Beca's hand again.

She's freezing cold.

Kate is gazing at the two of them with something Beca interprets as cool amusement, her head resting on her palm. 'So... You're Chloe's girlfriend,' she says to Beca, pulling the coffee over to her. 'How long have you been together, then?'

When Chloe doesn't answer, Beca steps in. 'A while.' Kate doesn't deserve to know any more than that, as Beca gets the feeling whatever she says would just be fodder for her to scrutinise their relationship.

'Ah.' The amount of disdain she manages to put into that one syllable is impressive. She feels Chloe flinch slightly.

'I hear you've been training to be a teacher,' says Beca bluntly, 'but you keep failing the course.'

Despite Beca's best efforts, Kate's expression doesn't change the slightest bit. 'Oh yeah?' God, that accent. While it's sort of cute on Luke, it's just annoying on this girl. 'Who told you that?'

'Your brother. I work with him down at the station.'

She smiles faintly, gazing back down at her mug. 'Oh, Luke,' she says, with a soft sigh. 'Always supportive. How is he, anyway?

'Don't you know?' Chloe is the one who asks, this time, finally having found her voice. 'I thought you'd have been to see him already.'

'To be honest, you're the only person I actually came to visit, Chloe.' Her eyes bore into Chloe's now, and although she averts her gaze, Beca can't help but bristle at the way Chloe flushes and fumbles with the lid of her drink for a moment. She can easily see a younger Chloe tripping all over herself because some pretty girl with brooding eyes gave her some attention. The thought is all too real, and all too irritating.

'That's um, that's nice,' Chloe replies once she's got a hold on herself, clearing her throat. 'You should really visit Luke, though. I'm sure he misses you.' Beca is almost certain Luke would rather not see her at all, but she suppresses a laugh at Chloe's bare-faced lie. From the way Kate's eyebrow ticks up, she's fairly sure she's thinking the same thing. 'What are you doing here, anyway? Did you want to get a teaching job in the USA?'

'Um, no, not really.' She snorts. 'As your girlfriend so helpfully pointed out, the course isn't going so well for me right now, so I'm taking a break over here. What about you?' she shoots back. She hasn't looked at Beca at all during this exchange, even when directly referring to her. 'What are you doing?'

The question comes across as oddly accusatory, and Beca feels Chloe shrink a little as a result. 'Well, nothing much at the moment,' Chloe admits, taking her napkin and beginning to absent-mindedly shred it in her lap. 'Working.'

'Weren't you doing Lit? Maybe you should get into teaching too. Not much else you can do, right?'

Beca bristles at this comment, but all Chloe does is reply mildly, 'I don't think teaching is for me.' Underneath the table, however, her shredding picks up in speed; Beca surreptitiously takes it off her before she ends up making a huge mess.

'No... Me neither,' says Kate, with a hollow smile. Beca finds herself unsurprised. Kate seems like she'd sooner eat the kids than impart some useful knowledge onto them.

'What do you want to teach, anyway?' Chloe asks. 'I never really pegged you as a teacher, to be quite honest.'

'Primary. For little ones.' Beca can't help it: she laughs out loud. Chloe seems too surprised by this to tell her off, but Kate finally turns her hard gaze on Beca. 'Sorry, did I say something funny?'

'Yes,' replies Beca, without hesitation. 'The idea of you teaching small children. What's on the curriculum? Math, English, Science, maybe an hour lesson on how to be a fucking asshole every now and then?'

Not her wittiest comment, she'll be the first to admit, but she was a little under pressure. Nonetheless, Chloe still has to turn her head away and cough to hide her laugh, making Beca grin triumphantly. Kate seems bothered by this display, but all she does is reply smoothly, 'Seems like you had those lessons too.'

She's about to retort back - with what, she has no idea, since her mind has gone completely blank beyond something like 'Yeah? Well, you smell!' - when Chloe quickly steps in to change the subject back.

'So does that mean you don't live here anymore?'

'Nope. I only came here to study for that one year,' Kate says. 'I'm not like Luke. There's nothing herefor me in the States, is there?' The pause that follows, along with the slight raising of her eyebrow seems perfectly designed for Chloe to reply with something like 'Except me!' that for a moment Beca really does expect her to blurt that out. To her relief, Chloe says nothing of the sort but just sits there gnawing on her bottom lip. Kate seems disappointed. '... Anyway, I'm only here for a few weeks. Call it a holiday.'

'And you wanted me to meet you during it?' asks Chloe. Her voice has gone very quiet. '... Why now?'

'Well,' says Kate, inspecting her nails, which are chewed right down to the quick. 'That's the question, isn't it?'

'So freaking answer it,' Beca growls.

Kate glances at her, and says patiently, 'Chlo, be a dear: call your chihuahua off.'

'Who are you calling a chihuahua, you little -'

'For God's sake - can you stop acting like children for one moment?' Chloe snaps. Beca is surprised when Chloe is giving her a pained look as well, clearly asking her to shut up.

'You're taking her side?'

'No, I'm not - but just let me talk, alright?' She drops her voice so Kate can't hear, putting her hand on Beca's leg. 'I know what you're trying to do, and I appreciate that. But I'm fine. I promise.'

And it seems like she is. Beca had been worried ever since she heard Kate was in the picture again, thinking back to that first night when Chloe had broken down into tears just trying to describe what had transpired between the two of them: worried Chloe wouldn't be able to deal with her returning, worried that she would somehow run all the way back into Kate's arms if she ever came back. She's relieved to see neither seems very likely. And from the determined look in Chloe's eyes, Kate is really in for something special now.

Beca nods, and sits back in her chair to watch the show.

'Listen to your girlfriend, Beca,' says Kate from across the table, with a grim smile. 'She's a smart lady.'

'And you can keep your mouth shut as well,' Chloe barks, rounding on her now. 'I don't want you speaking like we're suddenly friends again - or girlfriends, for that matter - just because I decided to meet you today. Because we are neither of those things.' Even though Beca knew that part already, she's still glad to hear Chloe say it out loud.

'Well, to be honest, I don't actually remember us being friends,' Kate replies, not missing a beat as usual. 'Or girlfriends, for that matter.'

A comment like that must hurt, but now Chloe just folds her arms. 'If that's what you believe, then why are you here?'

'I told you. A holiday.'

'No. I don't believe that for second.'

'Believe what you want,' mutters Kate coolly, swirling her spoon around in her drink.

'Fine. I believe you wanted to come back so you could mess with me again.'

'How could I be messing with you? All I'm doing is sitting here,' Kate points out. 'You're the one yelling at me.'

'Because you're being deliberately evasive, and I'm sick of it. What, did you think I wouldn't have changed? That I'd still be around to be your plaything?' She looks over at Beca, then back at Kate, face twisted in what counts as disgust on Chloe's normally gentle features. 'That I wouldn't have found anything better than you?'

Kate is smiling again, unperturbed by the comments still. 'You don't get it, do you?'

'No. No, I don't - I don't get any of this. All I want to know is why the hell you decided, now of all times, was when you were going to walk back into my life. So please tell me - and excuse my language...' Chloe takes a breath. 'Why the fuck are you here, Kate?'

She says it quietly - enough that none of the other patrons look around, but both Beca and Kate look at Chloe in amazement.

Fuck yes, Chloe, Beca thinks inwardly. It's really hard to keep down a smile right now; she's just trying to keep her face as neutral as she can, but it's seriously hard because she is so fucking proud of Chloe right now. Deep down, Beca also knows she probably shouldn't be getting turned on by watching Chloe stand up to her ex... But somehow she can't help it. It's amazingly hot seeing Chloe stand up for herself - and Beca, by proxy. Right now she's feeling an odd mix of wanting to hug and squeeze Chloe and never let go, and also rip all her clothes off.

It doesn't hurt that she's gotten a little pink in the face and she's breathing heavily, either.

From the look on Kate's face, this finally seems to have gotten through to her. 'Alright... If we're going to go down this road already. I mean, I wanted to keep things civil a bit longer, but you know, never mind me.' She sits back in her chair, looking troubled. 'I just wanted to see you,' Kate starts, but Chloe is quick to retort to that one.

'Well, that much is obvious. But that doesn't tell me anything about what you want to get out of this meeting.'

She swears Kate's eye twitches. 'I just told you. To see you,' she says, so quietly they both almost don't hear it. 'To make amends, okay? So here I am!' She spreads her palms out. A flush is rapidly spreading up her neck; she's losing her cool. 'Making bloody amends. I fly all the way out here to see you, only you bring your stupid girlfriend along and mess everything up.'

'Hey!' Beca protests, but Chloe squeezes her thigh under the table, hard.

'You have a funny way of making amends, if that's really what you're doing.'

'What more do you want?' she mutters, averting her eyes. 'Do you want me to say sorry? Okay, here: "sorry". Happy now?'

'And you said I don't get it...'

'Get what?' Kate pushes her hair back from her face with noticeably shaking hands. 'Jesus. I don't know what else you want from me.'

'I don't know what you want from me either,' retorts Chloe. 'What is it? Money? Sex? Compassion? Because I don't have anything to give you anymore. You already took all that from me ages ago.'

'Fuck it,' groans Kate, putting her head in her hands, pushing the skin of her face upwards. 'Fuck this. I don't even know why I came here today. I'm an idiot.'

Beca and Chloe glance at each other, knowing they're thinking the same thing. 'You know what?' says Chloe. 'I'm not sure I am either. Maybe I thought you'd changed, but you haven't. You're still the same selfish, manipulative person you always were, only I couldn't see it at the time.' She gets to her feet. 'I don't want to stay here anymore. Beca?' she says, looking at Beca, who hasn't moved an inch. A short, non-verbal conversation initiates between the two of them, where Chloe seems to intuitively understand what she is asking. 'Fine. I'll meet you outside, Beca... Excuse me.'

'What, you're not going after her?' says Kate bitterly, as Chloe walks away. 'I thought you'd be one of those co-dependent couples who just can't be away from each other for more than five minutes.'

Beca's jaw hardens, turning to Kate. She's been waiting for this since she got here. 'You're a piece of fucking work, aren't you? Can't you see what you're doing to her? What you've done to her?'

'Yeah, well, that's nothing new, is it?' Kate replies wearily. 'You should see what she's done to me.'

'And despite saying you want to make amends, you don't sound all that apologetic.'

'Should I be? She's not interested in hearing it anyway. I'm scum to her.' Kate gives a little shrug; the ease with which she says that sentence is rather disturbing. Then she's moving on easily, a small smile on her lips. 'Anyway. Tell me, because I'm interested: what's your story?'

'My story?'

'Chloe's clearly pretty invested in you.'

'So?'

'Mm. Chloe's a weird girl. Always was,' says Kate. 'Whenever I needed her, she'd come running. All day, all night. Didn't matter what it was. The girl was obsessed with me and spending time with me.'

'Gee, you're right, there must be something wrong with her,' says Beca sarcastically. 'I can't think why she'd want to spend time with you either.'

But Kate seems lost in her own world, now. 'I was insane towards her,' says Kate, with almost a sense of wonder in her voice. 'But no matter what, she never fucking left... She never complained.' Out of nowhere, she seizes Beca's wrist, making her jump. 'I destroyed her,' Kate states, her nails digging into Beca's wrist. 'And I was happy about it. I wanted her to hurt with me.' She searches Beca's eyes, as though trying to see whether she'll flinch away, but Beca forces herself not to. She repeats, 'I wanted to see how much she could take, to see whether she'd break.'

'And you got your wish, you sicko,' Beca replies as evenly as she can, willing the panic away. 'Also? Let go of me before I fucking punch you.'

Kate lets go immediately. She seems unsettled by her sudden outburst of emotion, because the tremor in her hands has picked up in intensity and makes her cup rattle when she picks it up. 'I always thought she must have enjoyed it in some sort of masochistic way,' she murmurs, 'otherwise, why would she bother?'

'She was in love with you,' says Beca, her teeth clenched. 'That's what you do for people you love.'

She seems startled by the notion. 'No. There's more to it than that.'

'Maybe in your world people need a reason to help you or spend time with you... But in Chloe's, she doesn't. Because she loved you,' says Beca. 'I know that's probably hard for you to understand. Heck, I have trouble with it too. But she never had any agenda besides loving you and trying to make sure your sorry ass didn't end up in the hospital.'

'Yes, but why? I don't really know what her deal is, but it just isn't normal to want to help someone like me without getting something in it in return.'

Beca can only sit there in silence for a moment as she absorbs this depressing statement, staring incredulously at Kate. 'You know, Chloe obviously hoped you'd changed or she wouldn't have met with you today,' says Beca. 'And maybe you have. But to me you just seem fucking sad excuse for a person.' She gets up, her chair scraping the floor. 'You need help. Talk to your damn brother. Then, maybe in a few years you'll actually be fit to even be in the same room as Chloe again - but in the mean time... Just stay the fuck away from Chloe.'

Kate doesn't stop her leaving, or make any kind of comment. She just watches Beca go, blinking softly for a few moments, before sitting back in her chair and shutting her eyes.

When Beca gets outside, she isn't at all surprised to see that Chloe's eyes are red-rimmed, and that she's been watching the whole thing. She cups her hands around Chloe's elbows. 'C'mon, we're going.'

'Should I...' Chloe starts, sounding and looking incredibly guilty. But Beca shakes her head, knowing what's coming next.

'You've done all you can already, Chlo.'

'She looks awful... Maybe I shouldn't have been so harsh -'

She takes a step forward, as though she wants to go back in, but Beca intercepts her. 'No,' she says firmly. 'Look, I know you want to help her despite everything, because that's just what you do. But you can't hurt yourself like that.'

'She looks like she's struggling, I should go back and see if she's okay -'

'It's her problem to deal with.'

'Did I just add more problems to it, though?' Chloe's eyes are filling with tears. 'I was so mean... Oh, God. What have I done?'

'You got closure,' says Beca, beginning to pull Chloe along and away from the door. 'Now come on, Chlo, we gotta leave.'

Eventually, Chloe follows. But she stares back into the shop despondently, where Kate is slumped over in her chair, head in her hands.

'How are you doing?' Beca asks gently, much later. It had been a struggle getting a distraught Chloe home and making sure she wouldn't run all the way back to the shop to see Kate. Now they're on the couch together, Chloe's head pillowed on Beca's chest. They kind of fell automatically into this position upon arriving back at the apartment, flopping as one into some exhausted, snuggly ball underneath a blanket - with Beca for once needing her girlfriend's arms around her just as much as Chloe seems to.

Somewhat luckily, Aubrey isn't home, meaning she can take care of Chloe without having to worry about interruptions. But somewhat unluckily, Aubrey isn't home, which means she's probably with Jesse somewhere - and that's something she really doesn't want to have to deal with right now.

Chloe lets out a breath (still shaky from crying), rubbing her cheek against Beca's shoulder. 'Okay... Better.'

'You want me to get you anything?'

'No. Just this is fine.'

'You want to talk about it?'

'Maybe,' says Chloe. 'Are you going to tell me what happened while I was gone yet?'

Beca had refused to say anything on the way back, not wanting to upset Chloe further. It's been a long day, and like Chloe, the whole interaction with Kate has left a bad taste in her mouth. It takes Beca a moment to pick her words. 'She said some messed up stuff, about you, and about us - I told her to shut the fuck up, basically,' she replies shortly, feeling any more detail would probably not be welcomed, despite Chloe's questions. 'I'm sure you can guess the type better than I ever could.'

Chloe nods solemnly, as though having expected an answer like this. 'Yeah... She always knew the best - or worst, I suppose - things to say to get under my skin. She always made me feel like I ought to be grateful for any amount of time she would let me have with her. Like she had somewhere better to be, but was hanging out with me for my benefit.'

'Fuck that,' Beca growls, drawing Chloe a little closer in her annoyance, and not missing the way Chloe smiles at it. 'I don't understand her at all, to be honest. Why would you even want to date her?'

'I don't know. She was my first girlfriend.'

'Usually they have at least some redeeming traits. I didn't see many in her.'

'Well, she was different today,' replies Chloe, rather defensively. She must realise how she sounds, because she clears her throat and goes on, 'I mean, normally, being really mean isn't her style. That's way too much effort for her - she prefers dropping really subtle, passive-aggressive comments that you'll stay up half the night trying to work out. But today she was all over the place.' While Beca is wondering whether Chloe ever ended up staying up half the night trying to work out if Kate had insulted her - the thought makes her oddly angry - Chloe goes on, 'I think it's because you were there. She felt threatened by you.'

Her eyes widen. 'Threatened? Really?' Beca: 1, Aubrey: 0.

'She was the only one that had a claim on me back then. I guess having you there, being all possessive and trying to stand up for me, threw her off.' Beca half expects Chloe to start telling her off again about getting involved with things she shouldn't, but then Chloe giggles. 'Watching you two fight over me was kind of funny. I thought you might challenge her to a duel at any moment.'

Beca laughs. 'I could totally take her.'

'Mm. Maybe you could have a sarcasm competition.'

'Are you saying I wouldn't win against her in a fight?'

'I never said that - just that verbal fights are more your thing. Wouldn't want you to break a nail, after all.' She kisses an incredulous Beca's fingers, but then waggles her eyebrows. 'Although then again, you always keep them really short, so maybe I wouldn't have to worry.'

'Christ - it's not like that!' Beca splutters, blushing, but without much vehemence. She's too glad to see Chloe making jokes, instead of spending the evening depressed. She'd worried that would happen when she'd had to practically drag Chloe home. 'I just don't like long nails. It doesn't mean anything.'

'I know. I'm just kidding around, Bec.' To Beca's disappointment, she drops her hand and snuggles into Beca. 'Thank you for coming with me,' says Chloe, making a contented noise she tangles her legs with Beca's. 'I think things could have been much worse if I'd gone alone.'

'You'd have been fine.'

'You think so?'

'Of course,' Beca answers. 'You're way stronger than you think you are, Chlo. You didn't need me there at all. And didn't you see how you stood up to her and told her to get the hell out of your life? That was fucking badass.'

'I wasn't too mean to her?' asks Chloe doubtfully.

'No, of course not. You were awesome.' She pauses, and smirks. 'And kinda hot.'

The wide smile she gets from Chloe then is well worth the stress of the day. 'Really?'

'Yup.'

Chloe sits up then so she's looking down on Beca, the blanket sliding off her shoulders. She shakes her head in amusement. 'You're such a weirdo. Things like that get you going?'

'Not in a weird way,' Beca says. 'Just... I like seeing you be all confident. It reminds me of when you barged into my shower all those months ago.'

'I thought you hated that.'

'I did at the time, but...' says Beca. She almost doesn't say what she's thinking, but fuck it, she really likes seeing Chloe grin at her like that. So she goes on sheepishly, 'I dunno, it's the only time I've seen you naked.'

Chloe's mouth drops open, and she laughs in surprise right as the embarrassment over what she just said hits Beca. 'Beca Mitchell! What has gotten into you today?'

'I don't know!' Beca says, flushing and burying her face in the back of the couch. 'I don't know where that came from... Sorry.'

'I didn't say I minded!' Chloe turns her face back. She's chuckling. 'Wow. I have to say, I like you being confident a hell of a lot more.' She gently runs a thumb over Beca's jawline.

'I wouldn't call it confident. I'd call it "I like to see you smile".'

'Huh. That's... unusually sweet, coming from you.' The expression on her face turns suspicious. 'Where's this all coming from? You've been acting differently all day.'

'What, I can't be nice to you?'

'Beca...' Chloe rolls her eyes. 'Is it Kate?'

'No, it's not. It's nothing, Chlo, honestly.'

'What did Aubrey say to you?'

How does she always know? 'Nothing,' Beca reponds casually, but cowers a little at Chloe's stern look. '... Okay, nothing besides that I needed to take my head out of my ass and that I was being selfish by getting all worked up when you were worried yourself.'

It takes a moment for Chloe to absorb this statement. When she does, she frowns. 'Since when do you listen to Aubrey?'

'Not like she didn't have a point.' Beca shugs. 'Plus, meeting Kate today, and seeing how upset she made you... I realised, I don't ever want to be like that.'

Chloe's face clears, and Beca knows she's made some sort of unknown connection in her head. She bites on her lip, pulling it into her mouth anxiously. 'Baby, you know I didn't mean anything when I said that,' she says. 'I wasn't trying to say you were at all like her.'

'I know - that's not what I'm getting that. I ...' She's struggling to phrase it properly, but it feels like it's something she has to say. 'I keep thinking about things I've said to you. In the past, and... That "basket case" comments the other day...' She swallows. 'And yet you never really got angry at me, not even then. You've never held any of it against me. Why is that?'

'What are you saying?'

'Why don't you ever get angry at me or tell me to shut the fuck up, when I do the shit I do?'

'And... How, exactly, would that help?' asks Chloe slowly.

'I dunno. Maybe it'd be the kick in the butt that I need to stop being a jackass.'

'We went down the bickering route once before,' Chloe points out. 'It didn't exactly work out, did it? We just ended up attacking each other. So, now I just try and let it go, because I know you don't mean it.'

'But now you're just letting me walk all over you.'

'No, I'm not. I'm defusing the situation and trying not to make things worse, or hold grudges. I'm not your mom,' says Chloe, a little irritably. 'I'm not going to police your behaviour for you.'

This isn't really turning out how she wanted it to, and perhaps she's stirring up another argument. Tentatively, she reaches an apologetic hand out to Chloe's waistband in order to tug her a bit closer. 'My mom would have told me to grow up and stop being so immature.'

'Exactly,' she replies, with a sad smile. '... I'm not going to do that.' She follows the light tugging until she's laying back down with Beca, on her side now. She places a kiss on Beca's temple. 'We're in this together. That means helping you, not hurting you.'

'But what if I'm hurting you, and you don't even realise it because you're trying to be so patient with me? What if this is how it was with Kate all over again and you don't even know yet?'

'Is that what you're worried about? Beca...' She leans over to kiss Beca. 'You're not hurting me. I love you, and I know you love me. This isn't like Kate, not at all.'

'Are you sure?'

'Positive.' Again, she kisses Beca, but this time Beca reciprocates - firmer, this time, a little more sure of herself, and needing to show some sort of gratitude back to Chloe for all of this. Her tongue traces her bottom lip, finding Beca's and flicking over it until she lets out a rather undignified high-pitched noise. Something in Chloe seems to change, then, because she pushes on Beca's shoulder and angles her weight until she tumbles back onto the couch.

Chloe's kisses are getting a little heavy now, her tongue tracing small circles under her jaw - and alright, this is definitely going somewhere fast that's she's not entirely sure about. She leans away from the touch. Chloe, to her relief, doesn't look at all put out. Instead she smiles at Beca soothingly, leaning up to give her one of the gentler kisses that she's more familiar with until her pulse slows again. 'It's okay, just relax,' Chloe murmurs against her lips. 'You're okay.'

She tries to absorb that thought into her consciousness, replaying it over and over. I'm okay.

Her fingers circle Beca's stomach and upwards, taking the hem of her shirt with it so she can gently run her fingertips over her belly. 'Can I?' Chloe breathes against her, tracing just below the bottom of her bra. Beca must make some sort of face, because Chloe gives her another kiss and a reassuring smile. 'It's okay,' she repeats. 'It really is.'

Easier said than done, Beca can't help but think a tad sourly. But she's willing to try anyway, because Chloe's been waiting for months - she kind of owes her this, by now. Beca gulps, but nods.

She reaches behind Beca and unclasps the bra, pushing it upwards, and apparently, they're actually doing this. Beca kind of feels like an awkward teenager, fumbling around and not quite knowing what to do, but the clear happiness she can see on Chloe's face goes some way to detracting from that. It also makes Beca blush a heck of a lot, knowing Chloe's seeing her for the first time (well, the first time since she came into Beca's shower, but that doesn't count), and just how damn pleased she is just to be touching skin. It's kind of funny, in a way, seeing her grin like that, and a chuckle rises up and out of Beca before she can really hold it back.

Chloe's gazes flicker up to meet hers, an eyebrow arching - although she doesn't keep her eyes on Beca's face for long. 'Something funny?'

'No... Well, a little,' Beca admits, squirming slightly when Chloe lowers her head and her breath washes over Beca's skin. 'I dunno, you just look so damn thrilled. They're just boobs, Chlo.'

'Actually,' Chloe corrects her, 'they're your boobs. Therefore, they are totally awesome.'

'You can't be serious...'

'Shut up and let me seduce you already, Mitchell,' Chloe says, making Beca laugh - but that quickly dies away when her mouth is suddenly fully on Beca now as she takes a nipple between her lips. The sensation isn't quite what she'd been expecting. It feels ... sharper, and more sensitive than she'd originally been expecting, and Chloe's mouth is hot and wet all around her; then there's her tongue, and all Beca can think about is how light her head feels right now.

When she lets out an unchecked groan, she hears Chloe echo it, and whisper something about her sounding "so good".

In the back of her mind she can still feel worry coming, much as she's trying her best to avoid it - it's as though they were beckoned by her questioning of where they were. When Chloe's fingers touch her hips she can't help but flinch a little bit, and that pretty much makes her mind up for her: tonight isn't the right time. Beca slowly puts her hands on Chloe's wrists, pushing her away; she resists for a moment, but then sits back to look at Beca questioningly.

'Maybe not right now...'

She hates how Chloe's face drops. 'But -' Chloe starts to say, but then seems to think better of it and clamps her mouth shut. Beca watches her do this, feeling the guilt wash over her yet again.

'I'm sorry.'

'No - please, don't be sorry.' Chloe's face kind of belies her words, given the way she's pressing her lips together in a tight line, and the frustrated way she shuts her eyes. 'You shouldn't apologise.'

'Look, I'm not trying to push you away or anything,' says Beca, sitting up and clasping her bra to her chest. 'I just don't think doing this today is a good idea.'

'It's not your fault.' She reaches over to help Beca put her bra back on. 'I was getting carried away. I'm glad you stopped me if you're not comfortable.'

'Are you?'

'Yes, of course,' Chloe snaps, pulling Beca's shirt down a little too roughly. 'You should always stop me if you're not into something I'm doing.'

'So why are you angry at me?'

Chloe deflates, then. 'I'm not angry at you, Beca, I'm angry at me. or pushing you. Again... I'm just frustrated,' says Chloe. 'I just really wanted it, and I thought you did too, but obviously you were uncomfortable and I missed that somehow... I don't know, I'm sorry, I -' She makes a distressed noise. 'For God's sake, I can't even speak properly. What's wrong with me today?'

'Nothing's wrong with you. You're fine,' Beca says, reaching for Chloe's hand. Maybe she isn't as okay tonight as Beca thought she was. 'And you weren't pushing me, honestly. But I figured we should just leave it there for tonight.'

Chloe looks at her then, lip trembling; her eyes are beginning to water. At a loss of what else to do, Beca pulls her into a hug as best she can: as soon as she does, Beca can feel tears leaking down her neck, but Chloe keeps quiet, barely giving away that she's crying besides the shake of her shoulders.

'This seems backwards,' says Beca gently. 'Normally I'm the one having a freak out by now.'

'I'm sorry,' she whispers, sounding miserable. 'I'm sorry I'm being such an idiot. I just really wanted -' She presses her face into Beca's neck.

'It's okay. I get it,' Beca replies, leaning back just enough to place a kiss on Chloe's brow. 'I thought the same thing - that it'd be okay this time. But it wasn't, so we stopped. You'd normally say that was a good thing.'

'And it is, I'm so glad you stopped before it got to that point, I really am.' She smiles grimly. 'I just wish the rest of me felt the same... Maybe I should just take a cold shower and be done with it.'

'Or...' says Beca hesitantly, 'you could go...' She makes a face and shimmies her shoulders, hoping Chloe understands what she means. 'I mean, I wouldn't mind.'

Chloe's eyes widen. 'You mean - with you there?'

She hadn't actually thought of that part, only that she felt bad about Chloe being so worked up and not being able to do anything about it. Yet Chloe really looks like she's strongly considering taking Beca up on that offer, and her heart suddenly squeezes with nerves - it's not like she's never thought about that before (how could she not, Chloe has literally told her what song she masturbates to), and yeah it's fucking hot, but faced with the reality it seems like a rather overwhelming thing. And she's not sure Chloe would be able to take it if she suddenly said, 'Oh, sorry, I can't do that after all.'

To her relief, however, Chloe shakes her head. 'Maybe not now,' she murmurs, but she looks a little more cheerful now. 'That sounds pretty good though... Raincheck?'

'Uh... Sure,' replies Beca weakly. Maybe by the time Chloe calls in that raincheck she'll be ready. After all, it's not like she'd actually have to do anything. Probably.

'No pressure, though,' Chloe adds, breaking Beca's train of thought. 'I mean, if you decide you don't want to in the end.'

How does she do that? She smiles.

'Thanks.'

'No... Thank you.'