Lol it's been a while since I've updated this fic, and I've had this chapter staring me down for so long. I've debated a lot about whether or not I actually wanted to post this because it feels a little bit OOC, but I found it funny enough that I thought someone might enjoy it lol.

Theme #87: Gunshot

(In a small cabin in the woods, after the Majin Buu Saga)

Android 17 lived alone in a small cabin in the woods. It wasn't too bad though, since his sister and her family would occasionally stop by...which sort of led him to what he was doing now.

He could never admit it out loud or to anyone, but he was secretly...

A little bit...

Sort of...

Okay, he was very jealous that 18 had a family of her own now.

That she had found love... Which he most definitely did not care about. He just sometimes sort of wondered to himself...a lot about what it might be like if he had someone of his own to love.

Occasionally.

Or frequently.

In any case, he didn't mind the idea of having someone with him to fill this empty cabin. Sure, it appeared fairly small to an outsider, but at times it would almost seem a bit too large to him because of how lonely he was.

"First name: Android," he said aloud as he typed on his laptop. "Last name: 17."

Investing in Internet service may have been the best thing that happened to him, even though it was often really slow because he lived in the middle of the woods. When it did work, he was sure to take full advantage of it though.

He thought about his name for a bit and considered changing it. "Cyborg 17."

He went back and deleted it only to change it again. "Sev Enteen."

"17th Android."

"'Droid 17."

"Number 17."

"Francesco Guardinali."

"17 Again."

He sighed and changed his mind back to what it was originally. "Android 17."

He scrolled further down the page and continued to read and type aloud. "Age? Hmm..." His fingers hovered over the keys and seemed to do a little dance when he wasn't sure what to put. Thanks to Gero, he really didn't know exactly how old he was. What should he put?

"25," he decided. He accidentally hit the "5" key twice and laughed for about three minutes straight when his age said "255."

He laughed until his sides hurt, and he worried that he was going to break something inside of him. When he stopped, it got eerily quiet. "I'm lonely..."

17 quickly deleted the extra five and moved on to the next question. "Hair color? That's not too hard."

Then he noticed an extremely long answering box below it. Maybe they expected a really good description of his hair in paragraph form. "Beautiful black locks that fall to my shoulders. Shampooed and conditioned daily with only the highest quality of products. Blow-dried and cared for with love. Hair this good does not come easy."

The android read the paragraph aloud before adding, "I have really nice hair. Just date me already. Please. Ha. Ha." He shook his head and completely deleted the entire paragraph.

Android 17 reevaluated the question. Hair color? "Black."

He continued answering some of the more physical and straightforward questions until he got to one that he didn't know what to do with. "Job?" He sighed and looked around his cabin. He lived off of money that his sister had been lending him, but it still wasn't a lot.

"Unemployed," he wrote, grudgingly. "But...interested in park ranging!" He was pleased with himself for adding that one.

He stared blankly at the next question. "Interests?" He let it roll off of his tongue. "Interests... Is it asking for my interests, like park ranging, or the type of women that interest me, or-"

He was cut off by someone suddenly opening the cabin door and walking inside. As fast as he could, he slammed the laptop screen down and casually placed his hands on top of it, hoping to keep this little secret to himself for now.

Or forever.

His sister came clearly into his view, and he rolled his eyes. "Would it hurt to knock, or do you always barge into other people's houses?"

"If I'm paying for it, then technically this is also my house," she reminded him. She looked at him funnily as she noticed how oddly he was...caressing his closed laptop. "What are you doing?"

17 looked around the room and laughed nervously. "Who me?"

"Yes you, you moron. Why are you holding your laptop like that?"

He quickly placed the laptop onto the table next to him and gave her a big, stupid grin. "Holding my laptop like what?"

She didn't know why he was so jumpy and jittery, but she was determined to find out. He had never acted like this before. Android 18 marched over to where 17 had placed his laptop and began to speak. "Have you been-"

"No! No! No!" he quickly shouted as she tried to open it, cutting her off. "You don't want to look at that!"

She narrowed her eyes. "No? Why not?"

He would die of embarrassment if his sister found out about his soft little secret. "I've been looking at some very, very naughty things."

After he admitted to that, Android 18 hesitated as her hands hovered above the closed laptop. But for some reason, she didn't quite believe him, and she quickly flipped it open before he could even stop her. She skimmed the page that he was on and was surprised at first. But then...

She laughed.

And she laughed.

And laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed at just how pathetic her twin brother really was.

"This?" she asked, gesturing to the screen. "This is what you're so embarrassed by? It's a dating site! You're trying to get a date!"

"N-no," he stuttered. "I was just-"

"It's cool," she said with another laugh. "I understand. My brother is too pathetic to meet anybody in real life!"

He felt his cheeks heat up, which was saying something because he was mostly machine. "I was just curious."

"Don't worry," she told him. "You're secret's safe with me." She gave him a wink and tried not to laugh at him again.

17 rolled his eyes. "Where's baldy and 18 Junior?"

The blonde shook her head at him. "For starters, Krillin's not even bald anymore, but they stayed home. I wanted to drop off this month's money alone this time. They're not here to embarrass you. I promise." She paused and smiled mischievously. "But I am!"

And then she laughed some more.

...

Later that evening, Android 18 went home still laughing to herself about her pathetic twin brother. Was he really that desperate? Krillin caught her laughing at what appeared to be nothing as she sat down on the bed before going to sleep.

"What's so funny?" he asked, feeling a wave of anxiety fill him. "Do I still have toilet paper stuck to me or something?"

She smiled and shook her head. "It's more embarrassing than that. It's about my brother. Because he is my brother, I care enough about him that I don't want to ruin whatever 'reputation' he still has, so I probably shouldn't say anything though."

Krillin made a pouty face. "Aw, come on! You can tell me, babe!"

She rolled her eyes and gave in. "Okay. Fine. But you have to promise not to tell anyone..."

...

Krillin, Gohan, and Goku were having a guy's day out the next morning. Krillin thought about what his wife had told him last night and chuckled to himself. Android 17...on a dating website?! The news was just too ridiculous to believe!

"Are you laughing?" Gohan asked his friend as they strolled down the city streets.

He hadn't even realized that he was doing it aloud. He cleared his throat and looked away awkwardly. "No. No, I'm not."

Goku raised a brow. His short friend had totally been laughing a second ago. "Yeah, you were. Tell us what's so funny!"

"18 doesn't want me to tell anybody," he said, not meeting their eyes. He knew that he had screwed up now. They were going to keep pestering him until he caved in.

Gohan seemed a bit surprised. "Android 18? Your wife? What's so funny that she told you that you're still thinking about?"

"We can keep a secret," Goku said with a wink.

Krillin shuffled his feet nervously. He would be a dead man if 18 ever found out that he blabbed about this. "Okay. But you cannot tell anybody else!"

...

"Do you know Android 17, Videl?"

The girl furrowed her brows in confusion. "You mean Android 18?"

Gohan shook his head. "No. 17's her twin brother."

She vaguely recalled hearing Gohan tell her about another android during the horrors of when Cell was alive, but she didn't actually know anything else about him. "Yeah, I don't really know who he is..."

They were having a date night tonight, and were in the middle of eating their dinners at a fancy restaurant. Gohan only took a small bite of his food, remembering his public manners. He swallowed. "Okay. I was just curious."

"What?" she asked, taking a bite of her own food.

"What do you mean what?" he asked in return.

"You can't just casually mention somebody and not say anything else!"

"It doesn't matter. I couldn't have told you even if you did know him."

Videl couldn't believe her boyfriend. "Well, that just makes me all the more curious!"

He shrugged and didn't see why he couldn't tell her. "I guess it'll be fine to tell you since you don't even know who he is. So he was this pretty scary guy, right? Well, Krillin told me..."

...

Videl flew in the air with a young Saiyan by her side. Gohan was too busy studying, and Chi-Chi didn't like Goten flying out on his own, so Videl offered to take the boy over to Bulma's house to play with Trunks.

They landed on the Briefs' property and Trunks immediately rushed out the door. Bulma quickly ran out after him. "Wait! Don't you go anywhere yet!"

Bulma then realized that Videl was here today and began to speak to her. "Hey Videl! I didn't know that you'd be coming over here today. Are you practicing working with children?" She made sure to give an obvious wink.

The teen girl's face heated up very quickly. "Oh, um, Gohan couldn't bring Goten over, so I said that I would."

"Mom!" Trunks said, tugging lightly on his mother's clothing. "Can Goten and I go play now?"

"One second," she said. "I think I can take you guys down to the park today, but I want to chat with Videl real quick."

Trunks groaned because he knew that when a grown-up said something was going to be fast, that just meant that it was extra slow. Goten, however, was not as mature as Trunks and did not understand the adult lingo. He jumped up excitedly at the thought of going to a park to play.

Bulma was not going to let Videl off so easy though. "So I take it things are getting pretty serious with Gohan?"

Trunks rolled his eyes. "Mom, you can gossip later! I want to go to the park now!"

"And I said hold on!" she stated firmly. "Has the question of marriage popped up as an option...?"

Videl wasn't sure what to say. Yes...no...she didn't know! She was nervous and embarrassed, and just about anything would be better than this awkward conversation! She hardly even knew Bulma Brief!

"Uh..." Think of something! Anything! How about something...funny?! "Are you familiar with Android 17?"

The woman was surprised at this girl's words. "Yes...? Don't tell me he's coming in between you guys' relationship?!"

She laughed awkwardly. "No! That's not it at all! But speaking of dating, Gohan told me a funny story about him. I'm not really supposed to tell anyone, but you can keep a secret, I'm sure. So basically..."

Ironically, Bulma, the biggest gossip out of all of them, actually managed to keep her mouth shut about this one. The two impatient children, however, decided to hang on to Videl's every word while they waited to go to the park...

...

"Goten," Trunks hissed as they stood at the top of a slide at the park. "Did you hear what Videl said?"

"I guess I did," he answered, not sure what this had to do with the game that they were playing.

"That gives me an idea," the older boy said mischievously. "You do know who Android 17 is, right?"

"Not really..." Goten admitted. "Do you?"

Trunks shrugged. "Sort of. I know that he's Android 18's twin brother. I've never met him before but..."

...

Android 17 woke up groggily to the sound of a ding coming from his laptop. He didn't even realize that he had fallen asleep next to the small computer, but it was clear that he had. He rubbed his eyes and looked at the screen.

"Trisha Daves gave you a thumbs up..." he read sleepily. He blinked twice realizing what that meant. A girl was actually interested in him!

This actually wasn't his first thumbs up though. The first one came from an old man obsessed with cats and science. Android 17 quickly reevaluated his profile after that one. Perhaps putting "masculine things" under interests was not the best idea... He just wanted to sound manly enough to catch a girl's attention!

He quickly clicked on this girl's profile. It was a mess! Her spelling and grammar was awful, but he didn't even care that much. He finally had received a thumbs up from a real life girl! He looked closely at this lady's picture. Long blonde hair. Brilliant blue eyes. The photo was blurry, but 17 approved of her appearance.

He sent her a thumbs up back. Now they had a connection! And that meant that he could send her a message. He quickly typed in a few awkward words. "So you sent me a thumbs up. I sent you one back."

He was really surprised when she responded so quickly. "I saw. Ur cute."

Android 17 felt emotions fill him that he'd never felt before. He'd been especially nervous about taking that picture, but he eventually found a good selfie angle that really worked for him. And it clearly paid off!

He frowned and looked at the screen. What should he do now? He was no love expert! He panicked momentarily before getting an idea. He reached to the back of the table and picked up the phone to punch in a few quick numbers.

It rang a few times, but eventually he got an answer. He cleared his throat. "18?"

"What is it now?"

"You remember that time a few days ago when you saw that whole...dating website thing?"

"How could I forget?!" She began to give a mocking laugh before abruptly coming to a halt. "Oh no. Please don't tell me-"

"I need your advice," he said, cutting her off. "We're in the middle of a chat right now, and she just told me I was cute."

She laughed some more and 17 began to get frustrated. "I guess what they say is true. There's a first time for everything!"

He rolled his eyes. "You're too funny. But this is a serious issue right now, and I don't know what to say!"

She sighed loudly. "How am I supposed to know? I don't know what to do... Try...complimenting her...?"

He nodded and set the phone on the table next to him after pressing the speakerphone button. "Okay." He took a deep breath in and a deep breath out.

"You're cute too," he typed.

It was taking a long time for her to reply, and he got really nervous. What if she changed her mind? What if she left because she was bored? He was beginning to not like this "dating" thing as much as he thought he would. It was beginning to feel worse than getting absorbed by Cell!

Well, maybe not that bad.

But pretty close!

"How's it going?" Android 18's voice emanated from the phone.

17 states at the screen. "Not good... She hasn't replied!" Ding! "Wait! She just did!"

"And what does it say?" she asked impatiently. She hated having to prompt information out of her brother. He should be able to tell her these things on his own.

"I want a date w u," he read aloud, including the letters. "I guess she's asking me on a date? Shouldn't I ask her on the date though?"

"Maybe that's just her way of hinting for you to ask her out, only not so subtly." 18 couldn't believe she had a twin this dense.

He felt his heart begin to race in his chest. His feet tapped the ground nervously. "Would you like to go on a date with me?"

17 waited for a response, and one came quickly this time. "Ya."

"I've got a date!" he exclaimed excitedly.

The eye roll from the blonde on the other line was practically audible. "Good for you. Do you have the details worked out? Like when and where?"

He stopped celebrating as he realized that he still had more work to do. "How does tomorrow night at Jack's Buffet sound? 6 pm?"

"Ya," was the response once again.

"Now I've really got a date!" he cheered loudly. But it wasn't over yet. "Wait! 18! What do I do now?! What do girls even like on dates?!"

She took a deep breath in and a deep breath out. "I don't know. Bring her some flowers or something." She thought about it some more. "And dress casual without looking sloppy. But make sure that it's not too formal either." One more important thing. "And do not bring your handgun with you."

His jaw dropped. "But my semi-automatic is my baby!"

"You don't use the revolver anymore?"

"Nah, I switched over to this pistol, and I immediately fell in love!"

18 began to snicker. "Then maybe you should take that pistol on a date instead of that girl."

"Shut up," he snapped. "I'm hanging up now." Click.

A breath in and a breath out. He did it. He actually did it. And...he was totally taking his gun with him.

...

Flowers? Check.

Nice clothing? Well...his converse were a little worn, but no matter. Check.

Ignored sister's advice about pistol? He tapped the holster for his gun lightly. Check.

He searched around for someone who could possibly be Trisha. The back of a blonde head in a large floppy sunhat caught his attention. He walked up to the lady, who teetered a little bit. He held the bouquet of flowers out before him, ready to present her with them.

"Trisha?" he asked carefully. "Trisha Daves?"

The woman spun around and the first thing that 17 noticed was how unattractive she really was. Her blonde hair was such a mess that it almost looked like a wig, and it was all tangled in that giant floppy hat. Her head seemed awkwardly too little for her body. And her makeup was the sloppiest he had ever seen done. She was wearing a large, red trench coat too. He began to hope that this wasn't actually Trisha.

"Actually," she said in a squeaky, weird voice, "it's pronounced Davis."

Her voice was like fingernails on a chalkboard. He was just being shallow though. These were all her physical attributes. Maybe she was a great person. He smiled and tried to converse with her some more. "Oh. It's spelt Daves."

"And it's pronounced Davis!"

He nodded and forced himself to smile some more. "Why don't we go inside and get something to eat?"

Android 17 held the door open for her as she walked inside. Once she enterred the building, he quickly tossed the flowers in a garbage bin, which was sitting just outside of the restaurant. He made an unhappy face and entered after her. He should've known that this was a bad idea.

"So, Trisha," he said slowly after they had gotten their food and sat down at a table. "What kinds of things do you like to do?"

"Um- um..." She seemed to be a bit nervous. "Beauty."

He tried not to show any surprise on his face, but some of it probably escaped anyway. "Oh really? I can...tell..." He swallowed his disgust. He was having a really hard time being civil with this creature. "What kinds of beauty stuff do you like?"

"Just, you know, normal beauty things," she screeched in her awful voice. "You know, hair, makeup, a little bit of everything."

He nodded and tried to hold back a grimace as he gave a shaky smile. "I noticed that your eyebrows are purple and your hair is not."

Her hands quickly shot up to her eyebrows as if something were wrong, but then she tried to play it off awkwardly as if she were just playing peek-a-boo...with her eyebrows. "Peek-a-boo! They see you!" She gave an uncertain laugh. "My eyebrows are a...beauty thing. It's the fashion trend right now. Purple...eyebrows..."

Even she didn't sound too convinced.

He tapped the table, wishing for this ridiculousness to be over soon. "I noticed that you haven't eaten any of your food."

"Neither have you," she said in response.

"I'm not hungry." If he told her that he couldn't digest food than she would...well, that might not be such a bad idea actually. Maybe it would be such a turn off that she would get up and leave the restaurant.

But she beat him to speaking. "I'm not hungry either." Her horribly lipsticked lips formed a smile, which was probably a normal smile, but to 17 it looked really crooked. "I think we're pretty similar, don't you?"

He cleared his throat and pushed his plate further away from him. "Actually, Trisha, I'm an android, so I don't need to eat food."

"I know that," she said with that same crooked smile.

"You do?" he asked quickly. "How?"

She giggled in an awkward voice that somewhat resembled a pre-pubescent boy. "Well, for one thing, you entered your name in as 'Android 17,' remember?"

"Oh yeah."

He looked down at the floor, but his head shot up when he could've sworn he heard a muffled voice come from inside Trisha's trenchcoat saying, "He's kinda dumb."

He narrowed his eyes at the lady, who began to visibly get really nervous. "What did you say?"

She laughed and twirled her hair with a finger. "I was just saying that...the man behind you is pretty dumb."

Android 17 glanced at the man behind him, but he didn't notice anything that made him obviously dumb. And when he looked back at Trisha, he had to stifle his own laughter as she tried to pull her finger out from her tangled hair because of twirling it a second ago.

She finally managed to rip her finger out, along with a chunk of hair. Only, by doing that, she also shifted all of her hair over somewhat. Android 17 was just about done with this lady's craziness and even asked out loud, "Are you wearing a wig?"

"Yes..." was the slow response.

He was trying to be nice. He really was. Oh Dende... he prayed silently to the guardian. I know that I don't really know you very well, but...what did I ever do to get placed in this situation?! I tried to be good! I tried to change my "evil" ways! And what do I get? This freak! You know what, Dende?! Screw this! Screw all of this!

"Wait!" someone's voice suddenly cut into his mind.

Dende...? Are you actually listening...?

"Yes, as well as being mildly entertained," he said in his mind. "Don't do anything rash!"

Why not...?

"Because Trisha's actually-"

A good person? I don't care! This sucks! I don't want to listen to your advice. I'm hanging up.

"You can't just hang up! It's a prayer! I-"

Android 17 hung up. He looked at Trisha, completely fed up with this date. "You know, Trisha. I thought that I didn't really have any expectations, but now that I now what they are, you've missed them by a mile."

"Well, you haven't exactly met ours either," she grumbled.

As soon as she had said it, they both instantly recognized her mess up. He locked eyes with this "woman," suddenly beginning to catch on. "Ours?"

She gave him her best smile. "Yes! Ours! I was, uh, talking about my eyes! Both of them! They had expectations and you didn't meet them!"

He discreetly pulled out his gun and held it under the table. "Oh is that so, Trisha?" He pressed the name like how he wanted to press the trigger of his handgun.

"Trunks, I think he's on to us," a little voice from inside the trenchcoat whispered loudly.

Ch-chck! "Don't. Move," he said as he whipped out his pistol.

Bang! The sound of a gunshot rang throughout the restaurant, and it got silent as many heads turned in his direction. The bullet didn't actually hit "Trisha," but it did blast the floppy hat and wig off of her head.

"Put your hands in the air," he ordered the small child that had impersonated a "date" for him. Nobody around the restaurant stirred or said anything at all.

The kid lifted his arms, but the coat was so big, you couldn't even see his hands! 17 had him just where he wanted. The poor kid was sweating all of his badly done makeup off. It might've actually been an improvement though.

Bang! The shot hit the bottom of one of the really large long sleeves, but the impact was enough that it caused Trisha's top half to topple over, revealing the child that was underneath the lavender-haired kid. Trunks now sat on the floor defeated, and Goten still sat nervously in the seat in front of the android.

"Well, if it isn't a mini-Goku and a young Trunks, I believe?" he asked with a menacing tone.

Finally, the manager came out to deal with the scene. "I'm sorry sir, but we, uh, have a no-shooting-the-customers-in-the-restaurant policy."

17 didn't hesitate to point the pistol in the direction of the manager as he spoke. "Is that so? Well, I'd hate to break the rules. I guess we'll just have to take our business outside." He stood out of his seat and aimed the gun from young boy to young boy. "Get up! We're going on a field trip."

The two half-Saiyans stood up out of fear and followed 17 to the outside of the restaurant. The android tossed his gun in the air with his left hand, then caught it with his right. What to do, what to do...

"We can take him, Trunks!" the darker-haired boy shouted. "He can't be all that tough!"

Android 17 pointed his gun at the runt who just spoke and bang! pulled the trigger.

...Only after quickly re-aiming it at a nearby sign. He couldn't bring himself hurt the Goku look-a-like as much as he wanted to.

"TRUNKS! GOTEN!" a loud angry voice yelled as a blue-headed woman stormed over to the restaurant from somewhere else down the street. "IS THAT YOU?! THIS IS THE LAST TIME THAT YOU'LL FLY AWAY FROM ME!"

The android man laughed as he examined his gun. "It may be their last time indeed!"

"17, that's enough!" Android 18 said as she dropped from the sky.

He glared at his sister. "How long have you been there?"

"Long enough," she vaguely answered. "I was curious to see how this date went."

"Were you in on this?" he asked, gesturing from child to child and somewhat hoping that she was. It was embarrassing to be humiliated by two young pranksters, but if his sister was involved then...it was still embarrassing, but at least he knew that he hadn't been outsmarted by just a couple of kids.

"Actually, no," she admitted this time. "And of course, you brought your gun. Why do you even use that thing? You could have just blasted them if you really wanted!"

He shrugged. "It's not as fun."

While the android twins' conversation was going on, Bulma was sure to give the two little brats an earful. Trunks wasn't afraid to ask a question though. "How did you know where to find us, Mom?"

"The answer is simple," she said with an all-knowing smile. "You forgot to click out of that dating website."

The two boys facepalmed, and Bulma gave Android 17 an earful of his own for nearly shooting the kids. "What the," she glanced at the two young boys as she carefully chose her words for the android, "heck were you doing?!" Now she was staring at the blonde android. "18, control your brother!"

"Control those kids," he taunted in return. "They dressed up like two halves of a woman. I mean, what is this, some...chick flick?"

Her eyes widened in surprise at his choice of words. "You watch those too?"

Widened eyes from the woman were matched with narrowed slits from the android man. "What? No. Of course not!"

"Well, Vege-" She cut herself off before she could say anything more. Silence filled the air momentarily.

"Oh boy," Android 17 said with a laugh. "Please tell me that you were going to say that Vegeta does!"

But before she could confirm or deny it, the authorities showed up. Apparently, cops don't really like it when you pull a gun out on two little boys.

"That's my cue to leave," said 'Droid 17 as he flew away quickly. His sister took off after him as well.

One police officer walked over to Bulma. "Are these your two sons?"

"One of them, yes. The other, no."

"And what's your relation to the other, ma'am?"

"Family friend."

"And did you know the gentleman who tried to shoot these two boys?"

Bulma couldn't help but hear irony in the word "gentleman." "Actually, yes."

The cop was genuinely surprised to hear this. "And...what's your relation to him?"

She sighed loudly. "Family friend."

...

"Have you learned anything from this, 17?" 18 asked as they flew back to his cabin in the woods.

He shrugged in the air. "Online dating sucks."

She smirked. "Anything else?"

"I want to become a park ranger more than anything right now."

Well...that was interesting! As bizarre as it was, I hope you all still enjoyed it at the very least! :)

-TOW

P.S. I have a poll up on my profile asking about which full-length story you guys would be most interested in. Check it out please! :D