15 August 1900
Dear Mother,
Thank you very much for the warm birthday wishes and for the gift, although a check in the amount you sent is far too extravagant for a thirty-second birthday. I know what you are doing and I appreciate your concern. It's a concern that is with me daily as well and while I know that Robert has made some provisions for us in his will I still fear what will happen to us if the worst should happen. During this past year, I have realized the true extent of what a privileged life we have all led. I've taken for granted that my comfort would never be taken away, that I would never have to worry about where I would seek shelter and how I would feed my children. I never imagined that I would be a widow, nevermind while my girls were still young. But these are the realities that plague me, mother. Even when I am engaged in some task, these thoughts sit at the edge of my mind, waiting for the briefest moment of quiet, so that there is no time for stillness, only duty, and worry and exhaustion.
I'm sorry. I don't mean to burden you and I should just toss this and start again, but truthfully, and I hope you do not find me impertinent for writing it, but I haven't the time to construct a whole new letter. Robert is home! For three glorious weeks. We spent time in London, as his chief reason for leave was to address the House of Lords and speak on behalf of the war office for more financial support. Since that business has finished he has been back at Downton. The girls are over the moon at seeing him again. I only wonder, though, if it will make it more difficult for them to say goodbye again.
We've only a few more days together and already I am looking ahead with trepidation to the day he will leave.
I must be off. We are taking a picnic by the lake and the girls are calling for me. Take care, mother, and send Harold my best.
Your loving daughter,
Cora
Cora sat comfortably on the blanket in front of the newly bloomed heather. The landscape was verdant and lush, the chirping of birds and the low buzz of insects filling the air along with the mossy fragrance of plants and trees. Milford Lake was vibrating with life and the August sun created a halo of warmth in all of the places it touched. The infectious sound of laughter shook her from her idle and she squinted into the sun, adjusting her hat to see what had the girls roaring so loudly.
Robert stood in the lake in his bathing costume. From the distance she sat, he looked like an exotic prince, glistening and muscled and browned by the hot desert sun. He held onto the small wooden canoe that the girls were perched in. Cora felt her legs tense underneath her, ready to jolt up as she watched Sybil's chubby arms flail at her sides while Mary and Edith playfully rocked the boat. Robert looked to her, his smile calm as one hand patted through the air, motioning for her to sit, placating her nerves, and Cora sighed out her apprehension knowing he would keep the girls safe. He waded through the water, walking along and pushing the boat that contained their children as they squealed and dipped their hands in the water, splashing one another playfully. Cora laughed to herself, her heart light at seeing the girls. They hadn't seemed so carefree in such a long time.
"Mama! Mama!" Edith's high pitched voice carried across the breeze.
"I see you darling!" Cora called out, waving above her head. She wished she could wrap her arms around this day and never let it go.
"Mrs Hughes seems to be a very competent addition to the staff, my dear. Well done!" Robert commended before taking a sip of his whiskey.
"I'm glad you think so. Now we just need a proper cook." Cora replied, flicking her shoes off with her toes and lifting her legs up, resting her limbs in Robert's lap.
Robert raised an eyebrow in her direction before placing his drink down and massaging her stockinged foot. "You've grown quite daring, Lady Grantham. Must be the scandalous company you're keeping."
Cora groaned. "Oh please let's not talk about Antonia Coolidge!"
Robert rubbed the flesh around Cora's ankle bone. "Don't worry, I wasn't planning on it. I've said all I needed to in the letter."
"Good." Cora sank back on the sofa as Robert's hand wandered higher on her leg. The opening of the library door made her sit up immediately, swinging her legs down while Robert hastily smoothed out the fabric of his pants.
"Carson, I thought we dismissed you," Robert spoke to the intruder, his voice rough with irritation.
"Oh, I'm sorry my lord," the nasal voice of Nanny replied instead of the butler and Cora turned quickly, seeing the woman carrying a sniffling Sybil.
"What's the matter, darling?" Cora cooed as Sybil began to cry fresh tears, pushing away from Nanny and reaching her arms out for her mother. Once in Cora's arms, Sybil buried her head in her mother's chest.
"She had a bad dream, milady, and wouldn't calm until I brought her to you. I was afraid she would wake Lady Mary and Lady Edith." Nanny apologized.
"It's all right, darling. It was just a dream."
Robert watched, mesmerized, as Cora whispered in their youngest's ear. Sybil's giant tears slowed as she looked into her mother's face, solemnly listening to every word. A fragile smile twitched on the child's lips after several minutes of rocking and Cora placed a kiss on each of her cheeks. Carefully, she slid Sybil to her feet, giving her one last squeeze before passing a hand over her hair.
"Give your Papa a kiss, darling, and then sweet dreams," Cora instructed quietly. Sybil toddled over to him, her eyes peering up at him through her long lashes, the tears she had shed still lingering on the tips. Robert hugged her tightly before placing a kiss on her head.
"Good night, darling Sybil." Robert said as she took Nanny's hand and walked with her out of the room.
"Does that happen often?" Robert asked once the pair were gone.
"Not often," Cora said, thinking for a moment. "She wakes more than Edith and Mary ever did at her age, but I wouldn't say it's frequent."
"The girls are very reliant on you, Cora." Robert stated carefully. Cora drew her shoulders back, in the way she did when squaring herself for an argument, and Robert held up his hands, attempting to defuse the sudden ire he saw flash within her eyes.
"I am their mother, Robert. Why shouldn't they be reliant on me?" Cora asked, her voice clipped.
"Of course you are. And you are a wonderful one at that. I just wonder if it's natural." Robert explained.
"Well," Cora huffed, "where I'm from, it's the most natural thing in the world. Perhaps it is your view on the matter that is the unnatural one."
"You could be right," Robert conceded, not wanting to fight with his wife, not when he only had two more nights at Downton. "I can't say I remember ever going to Mama when I had a nightmare."
"No doubt. I daresay she was the cause of most of them," Cora said, biting her lip to hide the mirth her reply gave her. Robert looked at her before bursting out with a chuckle.
"You are impertinent!" Robert growled before circling his fingers around her arms and pulling her to his chest. He studied her eyes for a moment, making sure her anger was gone, before lowering his head to hers and kissing her deeply. Cora responded to his attention, settling closer to him, running her hands over his chest while never breaking the contact their lips had. Robert's caresses grew more demanding, his low grunts a sure sign of his building arousal.
Cora granted him one last, long kiss before reluctantly pulling away. Robert groaned disappointedly as she sat back, his lips still puckered.
"We are meeting with Jarvis early in the morning dear. It's probably best to go to bed." Cora said.
"You are such a task master!" Robert complained before standing up. He held his hand out, pulling her to her feet once she took it. He kissed her thoroughly, his tongue exploring her mouth, before breaking the contact once more and leading her out of the room and up the stairs.
"Mr Jarvis, the fact remains that this summer has been an exceedingly dry one and the crops have suffered. The irrigation systems for most of the farms are out of date." Robert sat back a swell of pride filling his chest. He nodded slightly, encouragingly, as Cora's eyes darted to his for reassurance before she continued. "I've spoken to many of the farmers whose yields have been effected, and they have outlined what would be required to modernize."
"Lady Grantham," the patronizing way that Jarvis extended the end of her title made Robert grit his teeth. Jarvis shrugged his shoulders dramatically, looking from Robert to Cora, "you say the estate is spending at a rate it cannot support and yet you propose these drastic upgrades that will cost thousands. One bad summer is not a reason to reorganize the infrastructure."
"Mr Jarvis, but this will be an investment," Cora replied, her nerves causing her to clench her hands. "We must-"
"If you will forgive me, Lady Grantham, perhaps you should leave the estate management to Lord Grantham and I while he is home and concentrate on the upcoming church bazaar." Jarvis suggested, folding his hands across his chest.
Robert took a step closer to Cora, placing a hand on her shoulder blade. "I think you need to remember yourself, Jarvis." Robert interjected cooly. The smile left the other man's face and he swallowed hard.
"I meant no disrespect, milord-"
"Perhaps you did not mean it but disrespect is exactly what you just showed. I've already looked at Lady Grantham's notes, her research into contractors that can upgrade the irrigation and I myself have spoken to some of the farmers in need of new systems. This is happening." Robert's voice was firm in a way that Cora had never heard before. It was the voice of a man who commanded an army into battle.
"Yes milord," Jarvis mumbled before collecting his papers hastily.
"And Jarvis," Robert said, "as I've already told you, Lady Grantham is who you report to while I am away. I don't want to hear of any other instance where you forget your manners. Or your position."
"Of course, milord," Jarvis stated nervously before rushing out of the library.
"My, but that man is a misogynist." Cora breathed, rubbing her arms.
"You did brilliantly, my dear. Don't let him bully you." Robert instructed, placing a kiss on her cheek. He took her hands in his, rubbing her knuckles lightly. "You'll have to oversee all of this once I'm gone. As well as the church bazaar. Are you sure it isn't too much? I could have James come…"
"No, no," Cora assured him, "it's fine. It isn't as though I need to dig the trenches myself!"
"Jarvis will need much hand holding, I'm afraid." Robert sighed.
"And so I will hold it, and most likely pull him along kicking and screaming," Cora observed, only half jokingly.
Cora stood on the train platform, watching as Robert directed the man taking his bags. This time she had insisted on accompanying him to the station. As predicted, the girls had a more difficult time saying goodbye then they had when he first left. Mary wept openly in front of Downton and Edith had begged him not to go. Little Sybil, unsure as to what was happening but overcome with the emotions of her older sisters, laid in the gravel and threw a tantrum the likes Cora had never seen from her youngest. The state the girls whipped themselves into had almost held her back at the house. She was torn at leaving them like that, but luckily Rosamund and Marmaduke had come to see Robert off and they quickly attempted to divert the girls attention to the presents they had brought, with a degree of success. When Robert and Cora had left for the station, all three girls had dry eyes, though Mary's remained downturned and sad as she insisted on watching their carriage traverse the length of the drive.
Cora let out a stuttering sigh, her own throat becoming painful with the force of unshed tears. Three weeks had gone by in a blink while he had been with her. If only it would be so once he left. Robert handed in his ticket, and once the last bag was stowed on the train, he turned in her direction, walking to her slowly.
"I must board," Robert said, his voice heavy in her ears. Cora closed her eyes and nodded, leaning into his hands as he placed them on either side of her face.
"No tears," Robert instructed tenderly.
"No tears," Cora repeated, her chin trembling, her eyes still closed. The tears that were banned filled her lids and she blinked several times, pushing them back.
"My darling," Robert crooned, "my own brave cowboy. I do believe it's almost over. Just a little longer and we'll be together again."
"Do you promise?" Cora's voice cracked.
"I do," Robert said firmly before guiding her face to his and kissing her hungrily.
"Be safe," Cora whispered.
"Be well," Robert replied before giving her cheek one final caress. Dropping his hands and pulling down on his uniform jacket, Robert tipped his hat to her before striding down the platform. Cora followed him as he climbed into the train car and took his seat. She jumped when the whistle blew, and walked forward as the train began to move. She continued to walk along side of it, waving. Robert pressed his face to the window and blew her a kiss before the train picked up momentum and sped down the track, taking him away. Cora stayed where she was, her hand covering her mouth, until the smoke cleared.