A/N: I've not been updating as regularly as I was hoping to (oops, sorry?) , and this is the shortest chapter so far. The thing is, I wrote far too much for one chapter and had to break it into two so regular updates would be am actual thing that actually happens.

Also, also, also, a SHOUTOUT to my lovely anonymous reviewers who I appreciate so very, very much. I try to get back to every non-anonymous reviewer but if I happened to miss someone, please consider this a SHOUTOUT for you too!

Enjoy~

Kasamatsu spent his entire middle school fearing the worst of the worst; getting a letter in his locker from a girl. Luckily the trauma of having to go through an actual confession process has yet to occur, but there's plenty of letters piling up in his locker, around his locker, a couple even snagged in his gym shoes.

Composed mostly death threats. For Kasamatsu, this is not exactly the end of the world. He tells Moriyama this when his friend, the very definition of 'hopeless romantic', cries on behalf of him, but Moriyama cries harder and insists that Kasamatsu's highschool life is wasted.

He never understood the concept of love letters. Not that there was any hint of anything resembling love, or like, or even bare tolerance, in the letters he receive daily.

The ones that didn't forecast his imminent death insinuate that death is too good for scum like him, and how dare he touch their 'precious Ryouta-sama 3 3 3' (the hearts were decidedly not directed at him).

Kasamatsu's not worried. Nope, not at all. Their perfumed claims of knowing where he lives and their cursive and descriptive knowledge on how to skin meaty basketball players slightly concerned him, is all. It's not as if he could bow down to their demands of him and his teammates maintaining a 5 meter bubble between him and their idol at all costs.

"They do know we play basketball, right" Kasamatsu sighs to himself one day, and Kise just happened to walk by. What was he even doing anywhere near the third year's floor?

"What do you mean senpai, everyone knows you play basketball!"

Kise was, as always, blindly oblivious to the chaos he was unknowingly creating with his mere existence.

"Huh, fanmail? When did senpai become this famous?" Unfortunately, he wasn't literally blind, like say Midorima, so there was no way he could miss all the piles of paper stashed in his locker in all its pink, perfumed glory. "Is all this per day?"

"Unfortunately" Kasamatsu grumbles, straining to shut his locker but every time he pushes in a handful, another avalanche falls out.

"Senpai" Kise sounds oddly serious, and Kasamatsu could count with one hand with fingers to spare how many serious moments they've had together so he turns to meet his kouhai's eyes.

Said eyes filled to the very brim with tears, like molten gold. If Kasamatsu was waxing poetic, or Moriyama-like, he'd say they were like warm golden honey amber-

"Senpai, I…" Kise takes a deep breath, and Kasamatsu gulps, all his instincts telling him to either jump off the 3rd floor or push Kise off or together in some kind of twisted Romeo and Juliet move-what is he even thinking, he's spent too much time with Moriyama, that's what's happened!

"You're getting a lot of attention from girls, and I know it's hypocritical of me of all people to complain, but…"

"Whatever you want to say, just spit it out clearly" Kasamatsu barks, like he's not writing sonatas of Shakespeare's tragic love on the inside.

"I'm sorry senpai, but the truth is.." Kise sniffs. "We'll be forced to be rivals in the school's next popularity contest! …senpai, hey senpai, what's wrong?"

The bell chimes for the first period, and that's all that saves Kise from getting kicked down the stairs. That and the subpoena he'll undoubtedly be served with for inflicting damage on public goods.

No one is the basketball world outside the Generation of Miracles knew this, but one-on-one actually mean 'hot basketball monkey sex', according to Takao at least. The two of them had become fast friends, despite being rivals in more ways than one. And Takao took that as express permission to fill Kasamatsu's head with all kinds of weird garbage.

So the 'hot basketball monkey sex' idea stuck in his head floating around until he heard Kagami demand a one on one from Kise.

"Denied!" Kasamatsu barked out, before Kise could even turn his pretty blonde head. The gym paused in its usual hustle and bustle to stare at Kasamatsu. Kagami stared too, and ever so slightly, blushed.

"Y-You!" Kasamatsu all but physically pounced on him "You've been talking to Takao, haven't you?"

Kagami spluttered, blushing for all his worth now, his bright red hair not helping any.

"Aww…Kagamicchi's so cute!" Was Kise's reaction to all this. "I've been getting a lot of one on one requests recently-" And just why is it that Kasamatsu's heard nothing of this? He glares at his team who in turn finds the gym floor a tad too interesting.

Needless to say, Kise was not at all aware of all the 'hot basketball monkey sex' he was supposedly having. Damn that Takao.

"Don't be shy, Kagamicchi!" Kise smiles brightly, obviously ecstatic about his sudden fame "You can come to me for one on ones anytime you want"

Kagami promptly passes out.

"Please excuse him, he got a little over excited" Kuroko explains while stuffing what looked suspiciously like a syringe into his gym bag. He looks up and caught Kasamatsu's frozen, wide-eyed stare.

"No one sees me coming from behind" And he smiles. Again.

Kasamatsu shivers, and bans all forms of one on ones with his ace with anyone for the foreseeable future.

~TBC

Leave a word or two (preferably more! :P ) telling me what you think, it would really make my day :DDD

ps- Midorima's lucky pencils for all you guys who have had, are having, are going to have exams these months~ Best of luck to you-nanodayo!