AN: Thank you, thank you to everyone who followed and reviewed this story. I really hoped you enjoyed it!
Where Robert had spent the previous week avoiding Cora, it was now her turn to disappear around corners at the sound of his approach. He had been in her company briefly, as they bade farewell to James, Camilla and Patrick. He, Cora and the girls lined up and said their goodbyes, all the while Robert noting the unhappy turn of James's mouth as he cast a lingering look up the length of Downton's walls before settling into the carriage. Cora seemed to shudder beside him and his fingers twitched, wanting to lay a reassuring touch upon her, but stayed where they hung.
With the last of their guests gone, the house was suddenly very quiet. Robert's military trained ears could hear the clocks ticking in the rooms, the starched swish of the servants clothing as they went about their chores, the crackling of fires in the hearths. What was noticeably absent were the noises Cora made while occupying a space. He realized it set him on edge, her not being close by. Sitting at his desk in the library, he could take his own company no longer and he wandered up the stairs, finding himself in front of the nursery door.
"May I come in?" Robert asked, peeking into the room.
Stopping her work on a puzzle, Mary squealed and ran toward him, wrapping her arms around his middle. Robert marveled once again at how tall she'd grown in his absence.
"Papa!" Edith cried on the heels of her sister, hugging his free side.
Robert chuckled, leaning to embrace his two oldest while little Sybil kept her place where she played on the floor, looking up at him with uncertainty and then glancing toward the door.
"Where is Mama?" Her tiny voice was high and displeased.
"I don't know dearest." Robert answered, his initial happiness at seeing his daughters sobered by Sybil's continued weariness towards him.
"She usually comes to see us while we breakfast," Edith said, her honey colored brows pulling together.
"I thought once you were home she wouldn't be sad anymore," Mary said quietly without meeting Robert's eyes.
Robert stroked his daughter's hair. "Has she been terribly sad?"
Before Mary could reply, Sybil stood quickly, her chubby hands balled into fists and punched into her hips. "Don't you say mean things about my mama!"
When she stomped her foot for emphasis, Robert couldn't help but laugh and it only caused the scowl she was aiming at him to deepen. He held up his hands quickly in surrender. "I'm not, cherub! She's the very best Mama, I know. I was just concerned."
Mary placed a hand in his. "She's very attached," Mary whispered. "Granny says Mama is too indulgent."
"I think you will all appreciate her brand of indulgence when you get older and realize how well you've been loved." Robert cupped Mary's chin and leaned down to kiss her forehead. "And now I'm going in search of the lovely lady in question. Be good for Nanny, girls."
After some sleuthing and finally, good old fashioned asking, Robert discovered from Carson that Cora had left for a walk earlier in the morning.
"But it's chilly!" Robert observed, knowing how much Cora hated being cold.
"Her Ladyship's gotten into the habit of walking after breakfast." Was Carson's explanation before helping Robert into his thick coat and hat. Robert's mood sagged more, realizing there were all sorts of habits she may have developed while he was away and he didn't like the servants having to educate him about his own wife.
The night before had seen a light dusting of snow blanket the countryside and Robert was glad for it as it held the marks of Cora's slim footprints. Robert followed the path she had unknowingly left for him, inhaling the crisp air deeply, savoring the mix of burning pine that escaped Downton's chimneys as the smoke mingled with the scent of a fresh snowfall. What a contrast this winter landscape was to the one he had recently left behind. He never thought he would be so content to feel his toes going numb from walking the cold earth. If only he could leave the images of Africa behind as easily as he had left her heat.
It didn't take long for Robert to realize where the tracks led. He should have known, really. Cora's favorite spot in the summer was the secret garden, but in the winter she gravitated more towards Penelope's Woods, the cover of the bare branches and how they played with the winter light speaking to something within her. He found her on the bench at the edge of the woods; the one he had placed there for her years ago, when she insisted on making the walk while heavily pregnant with Mary. She didn't move at his approach and Robert wondered if she had heard him at all as she stared ahead, at what he could not fathom. When he cautiously cleared his throat, she jumped to her feet, hastily wiping at her face before looking up at him. He noted the tension in her posture and the bruised skin under her eyes.
"I'm sorry if I've kept you up at night," Robert began, unsure of what to say now that he was facing her.
Cora shook her head dismissing his apology. "You haven't. I can't sleep anyway."
They both fell into an anguished silence reminiscent of their early days together and Robert felt the beginning tingles of panic. Perhaps they had spent too much time apart, experienced too much heartache alone to bridge the chasm.
"Cora…" Robert let the second syllable of her name linger on his tongue, caressing it the way he wished he could her.
"Robert, I would go to London." Cora spoke quickly, stopping whatever else it was that Robert hoped to express. "It would surely make it easier for you, not having to run away from me all day."
"Cora…" Robert tried once more.
"I would have gone already. I'll still go if that will truly make you happy, but being away from the girls...being separated from them..." Cora's breath hitched in her chest, preventing her from going on and Robert could see her chin quivering. She quickly lost the battle to contain her emotions and began crying into the palms of her hands.
"Of course you won't be separated from them." Robert told her as he went to her at last and wrapped her in his embrace. "Nor me. I do not want you to go live in London, Cora! Please do not cry my darling. Please."
Robert continued to hold her, rubbing her back as her tears subsided, almost as quickly as they had sprung up. They stayed that way, listening to the other's breathing and the whirling breeze through the bare branched trees around them. It was, Robert suddenly thought, the first time he had held her, even touched her, since that day he'd come back. His embrace tightened and he placed kisses to the top of her head, palming the back of her neck and massaging the taut muscles there.
"I'm sorry, Robert." Cora's voice was muffled, her face still pressed into his chest. "I thought I was doing what was best."
"I know. I know." Robert soothed. "I was angry and so terribly sad but it's no excuse for how I reacted."
After a few more moments of holding her, Robert pushed Cora gently away, rubbing her cheek with his thumb.
"Why don't we go inside? I've not reacclimated to this cold weather and you must be freezing." Robert placed his arm around Cora's shoulders and turned them around back toward the house.
Aunt Em had just come out of the house to water the cabbages when she looked up and saw Dorothy running toward her.
"My darling child!" she cried, folding the little girl in her arms and covering her face with kisses. "Where in the world did you come from?"
"From the Land of Oz," said Dorothy gravely. "And here is Toto, too. And oh, Aunt Em! I'm so glad to be at home again!"
Cora closed the leather bound book and placed her hands on the cover. "And now girls, it is time to sleep."
"Good night Mama!" The three Crawley sisters sang, snuggling under their blankets.
Cora stood from the rocking chair she had sat in and went to each bed, for a kiss and hug from each of the girls. When she turned to the door she paused, then smiled to see Robert leaning against the wooden frame.
"Good night my darling daughters." Robert called out softly. Before closing the door behind them, Cora leaned into the room blowing one last kiss to the sleepy girls.
"I haven't heard that story before? Is it new?" Robert asked as they quietly made their way down the hall.
"Yes. The Wonderful Wizard of Oz, it's called. Mother brought it with her when she came. One of the many, many things she brought." Cora explained.
"I quite feel like that Dorothy, though sometimes I forget I am home and still feel as though I am in Oz." Robert said quietly, looking at the floor.
Cora laid her hand upon Robert's arm. "Oh darling, I cannot imagine how it is for you. And though I don't pretend to be a great comfort, I'd like to try."
Robert looked up then, taking her carefully by the shoulders. "But you are. A comfort that is. My most precious one." Robert kissed her gently on the forehead. "Might I move back in tonight?" Robert nodded his head toward her bedroom.
"Yes," Cora said without hesitation.
Robert chuckled at her eagerness, taking her hands in his. "I might keep you up. The dreams…"
"I don't care," Cora said resolutely. "We'll face the night together."
"With you by my side, I can face most anything," Robert whispered before placing his lips on hers.