A/N: I own nothing except a copy of this great game.
It was a week before anyone heard anything of notice from the Ravager scouts. Ishak had ordered them to scour the land as far and as wide as they could, with orders to stick to the shadows and never reveal themselves unless they had no choice, and let the whisperings of the world clue them into the location of the missing princess. Other than periodic communication via runners, there was little headway being made.
Which was all the more frustrating for Impa back on the homefront. In addition to juggling the reality that the princess of Hyrule was missing from her throne, the Sheikah warrior also had to deal with the threat of complete and utter panic if the news leaked out. People had seen the explosions that had rocked the Hyrulian castle, so it was impossible to simply lie and claim that nothing had happened. But the scope of the attack would shatter the confidence of the Hyrulian people. If their ruler was not safe, what hope was there for them?
This was a fact that Impa was continually reminded of by Lord Grantham. Incessantly. She respected the man greatly, but Goddesses he could be annoying. He'd settled in to his role as backstage director of Hyrulian politics with remarkable ease, and was currently working on calming the terrible panic felt by some of the older noblemen and women that were part of Zelda's court. The bags forming under his eyes were rather pronounced.
"Impa, I'm telling you, something needs to be done." He said, three days after the attack. "The nobles are getting antsy, I don't know what I'm going to do to keep Lord Fawlty from causing a mass panic in and of himself, and the people want to know why they haven't heard from the princess in three days! We can't just not answer their pleas!" They were sitting around the stone table in the throne room, the one that the princess had used to plan out a defense of her country alongside Lord Justinian Tiberius. And now both were gone, one forever and one uncertain.
Impa groaned, and buried her hands in her hair.
"Elijah, I am not a politician!" Impa said. "Fighting and warfare are my forte. What is wrong with simply holding this from the public? They do not need to know every detail."
"With a statement like that, it's no wonder that you're not a politician." Grantham responded coldly. "Zelda's government, her entire style of ruling, was and is predicated on her openness with the people. Never underestimate the masses' ability to make something out of nothing. Give them a few days of silence on the princess' end, and by the end of the week they will be openly rebelling against what they believe is a military coup!"
"That's absurd!" Impa said. "You overestimate their irrationality."
"You haven't spent hours debating policy." Elijah replied. "Irrationality is the staple of political and public discourse." Ishaka, who'd been sitting at the table with his feet up on the edge and a pipe dangling in his mouth, finally spoke up.
"Well, if'n I may say so, that soun's Goddess-fuckin' awf'lly dark a' you, Gen'ral." The Ravager captain said. Elijah turned towards him with a furrowed brow, and sighed.
"It's the truth, and the truth can sting. And…as much as I am flattered by the term of endearment, Ishaka, I would prefer that you did not call me general. Justinian earned that post. I didn't want this job. Not this way, anyway."
"Yer doin' fine." Ishaka said, a little haze surrounding his face from the pipe. Whatever he was smoking was particularly sharp this morning. "T'ain't 'xactly th' best job, innit?"
Now it was Impa's turn to be frustrated.
"Ishaka, you are not helping with pithy comments. You are aware of that, right?" She asked. It looked like the Ravager captain was grinning through the smoke.
"Fig'red I'd light'n th' mood a bit. 'S getting' awf'lly d'pressin' in here."
"And as appreciative as I am for your lightness, Impa has a point." Elijah said. "You're doing more than enough with your Ravagers scouring the countryside looking for signs of the princess. But this is a dire political situation." For the first time in a while, Ishaka looked rather annoyed.
"Yeh think I got nothin' ta contribute?" He asked.
There was a pregnant pause. Mercifully, Lord Grantham was the one that broke the awkward silence.
"Do you?" He asked. There was another pause. Ishaka slowly got up from the chair. Having been accustomed to seeing him sitting in a chair, Impa and Lord Grantham were struck with just how big the man was. It was little wonder that the Ravagers had him as their leader.
"If'n it t'were me," Ishaka began. He scratched his chin. "I'd be thinkin'…could I make th' people see th' princess, wit'out act'lly seein' th' princess?" Impa looked confused, but Lord Grantham looked like he'd had his eureka moment.
"That's…that's it!" He started walking out of the room. "Come with me, you two."
…
"From a distance, it is believable." Impa said.
"You'd have to look very hard to see the differences." Lord Grantham offered.
"Yer all overthinkin' it." Ishaka said. "It's perf'ct!"
They were standing in the royal chambers, right beside Zelda's bed. Though there were several of the princess' handmaidens with them, the trio was focused on the one in front of them. She was dressed as the princess was, complete in Zelda's preference to wear battle-friendly tiaras and shoulder pauldrins. Her hair was a slight shade darker than the princess', but from a glance they were right: she could pass for the missing ruler of Hyrule.
"What is your name, my dear?" Lord Grantham asked.
Blushing furiously, the handmaiden curtseed.
"M-Marin, sire. My name is Marin." She said. Impa smirked.
"Ach, there's your first problem. The princess does not blush nearly as easily. Only after one has told a particularly vulgar joke, or made an insinuation about her preferences…or performance."
Marin's blush deepened. Ishaka came in for the kill.
"A'course, she seemed fine ta me."
That got him a slap across the face from an irate Impa, a choked snorting noise from Lord Grantham that sounded suspiciously like a stifled laugh, and a tittering of giggles from the other handmaidens, and turned poor Marin the color of a tomato.
"Do not listen to this Ordo*." She said. "You will do a marvelous job with this." She grew serious. "All we ask is that you try your best to pretend to be Zelda. You will not have to do anything serious. There will be no policy meetings done in the presence of the other lords and masters. Lord Grantham will guide you through everything you need to, and you will be fine." She looked at Marin square in the eye. "Now, let us ask you again: What is your name?"
Marin took a deep breath. When she exhaled, all signs of nervousness seemed to disappear.
"I am Princess Zelda, ruler of Hyrule." She said. Ishaka, rubbing his cheek slightly, managed a smile.
"Ready fer th' task when needed. Tha's my kinda woman!"
That got him another one.
…
It was another two days before the Ravager scouts returned to their boss. Early in the morning, as Impa and Ishaka were discussing battle defenses with Lord Grantham, the doors to the throne room burst open.
"Brudduh 'Shak!" The leader of the group, a burly and dark skinned Craol, said. "Gah summin."
"Yeah? Whacha got?" Ishaka asked. The Craol stepped forward, giving a little nod of the head to acknowledge the ranking that Impa and Lord Grantham had, and then started.
"We be'n hunnin' fer summah tynau," he began. "Taint gahcha prinnes, buh gadda luh…lead onnanuddah ting." He said.
Impa and Lord Grantham turned to each other, and then turned to look at Ishaka.
"I'm…sorry." Lord Grantham said. "But…um, I'm afraid that we didn't catch that."
"Yer a'ite." Ishaka said. "Bruddah Denbe can't talk tha' well. When 'e were a kid, them Bokoblins cut 'im inna tongue 'n neck d'rin' a raid on 'is village. Damn near pulled it out."
As if on cue, Denbe tilted his head back so that Impa and Lord Grantham could see the ugly and jagged scar that ran from the tip of his chin and all the way down to the base of his neck. It had healed…but barely.
"Thadahk mooven fruhduh noethuh." Denbe said. He was speaking only to Ishaka now, well aware that he was the only man that could properly translate. "Buhdey run inna trubbah inna norease. Thuh be suh fyheeng inna…Fuh-f'ron woos. Led bye uh laydee. Sorsor laydee."
"What did he say?" Impa asked. Ishaka sighed.
"The Sor'cress is movin' from th' north." Ishaka began. "But dey runnin' inta trouble inna Faron Woods. He says dey gotta rebel thr't led by a…sor'cress lady? Princess Zelda do magic?" He asked. Impa felt herself jolted alive.
"That has to be her. Only the princess could be cast out from her castle, and nary a week later come up with a rebel army to stifle the Sorceress' advance into the Faron Woods. It's brilliant strategy, and I expect nothing less from Zelda. We'll send an advancement, ourselves included, to find and rescue her." She turned to Denbe. "Your services are more worthwhile. You and your men deserve hot meals, clean clothes, and rest. Head to the infirmary. Tell them I sent you. They will give you everything you ask for."
Denbe smiled at the compliment, and seemed ever grateful for the reward. As soon as the Ravager scouting party left, Lord Grantham turned towards Impa and Ishaka.
"Alright, so that is our best lead. We think that Zelda is leading a band of rebels in the Faron Woods, and is raising unholy hell against the dark forces. That's…remarkably flimsy evidence, but considering we haven't had anything remotely close to another option in the last few days, I'm going to go and suggest that we check it out."
"We?" Impa asked. She folded her arms across her chest. "Let me, Ishaka, and the Hero lead the expedition into the Faron Woods. It's like you said, Elijah: you aren't built for war."
"That's true." Lord Grantham admitted. "But that leads me to our second issue: who are you taking with you?"
"The Hyrulian army, of course." Impa said. Lord Grantham shook his head.
"Absolutely not."
"What?" Impa asked. Even Ishaka seemed surprised, his jaw going slack enough that his pipe nearly dropped out of his lips. Now it was Lord Grantham's turn to look firm.
"I'm not letting you lead the entire Hyrulian Army on what could be a wild goose chase." He said. "What if the Sorceress attacks Hyrule Castle while you're gone? Diplomacy doesn't really work when they've cut off your head."
"Elijah, you're being…fine." Impa caught herself midargument, realizing that the man at least had a point. It was probably wiser to keep the majority of the Hyrulian army within defending distance of the castle and the civilians. Yet… "Who am I supposed to bring with me?" She asked.
"Us." Ishaka said. "Th' Ravagers."
"How many do you have?" Lord Grantham asked.
"Hundreds." Ishaka said. "That be 'nough." He finished with certainty.
"I'll supplement some Hyrulian soldiers to help your expedition." Lord Grantham offered. "I have confidence in the Ravagers' abilities in the field, don't you, Impa?"
"I…do." Impa said with uncertainty. Ishaka smiled, and wrapped his arm around her shoulders.
"'Ey, it gonna be a'ite, Sheikah. Th' Ravagers see ya as our sistah, anyway!" He said. Impa smiled slightly.
"Thanks, Ishaka. I appreciate that." She said. She turned to Lord Grantham. "You had better take care of this city while we're gone. Do you understand me, Lord Grantham?"
"Of course, Impa." Lord Grantham said with a chuckle. "We will be safe. You on the other hand take care of yourself, alright? We can't afford to lose you so soon after we lose the princess."
…
The following day, Impa stood in the middle of the courtyard, gazing at the sight in front of her. The Ravagers had clearly spent the days since the battle recovering and reloading their numbers and weapons, because what stood in front of her by the Goddesses looked like a passable army. Sure, their "uniforms" were whatever was the clothing on their backs, but other than that they seemed relatively in control. Impa glanced over to Ishaka, who was positively beaming at the sight of his men and women so ready to fight. And then Impa glanced over at Link.
The young man looked positively…heroic in the clothing of ancient legend. His green tunic was bright in the light of day, and he'd clearly spent the morning polishing his boots to a shiny sheen. His pants looked like they were sewn together the previous morning, so free of dirt they were. It was the scarf that caught her attention. It was a big, blue thing with a regal design imprinted on the end of the material, and it was clear that he was mighty proud of it. Impa couldn't resist.
"You look like a hero." She said. Link looked at her, eyes widened in surprise, and then sheepishly scratched the back of his head. A glowing little light seemed to pop out of his head.
"Aw, that's so nice of you, missus Impa!" Proxi said. "Link, say thank you!" There was a pause. "Eh, I'll say it for you. Thank you, missus Impa!" Impa smiled.
"You are welcome, Proxi." The Sheikah warrior said. "Be wary for your hero's safety, would you?" She asked. The fairy flashed a bright light, and it was clear that she had taken this job to heart. Impa turned towards the Ravagers and Hyrulian warriors before them.
"Gentlemen and ladies!" She barked. "You've been chosen for a most daring mission: we're going to find the princess of Hyrule, and we're going to bring her back home. This will be the most challenging mission of your lives. Is there anyone that wishes to step down?"
No one budged.
"As I expected." Impa said with a smile. She gestured to the gates. "Forward, MARCH!"
There was a chorus of cheers from the army, and they began their trek through the streets of Castle Town and towards the great unknown.
…
The first few hours were little problem for the army. With the Ravagers scattered around them and scanning the countryside for any signs of life, it would appear that the march towards the Faron Woods would be completely without intrigue. That changed at around high noon.
"Ahoy, Ishaka!" One of the Ravager scouts shouted from the front. "Enemies have got the entire plain swarmed! There's no safe way to continue through this racket to get to the woods!"
"What?" Impa asked. She got a hill nearby where the expedition was resting, and stared ahead intently. It was true. There was an exorbitant number of Bulblins, Moblins, and Bokoblins digging in for what they expected to be a siege of sorts. At the moment, they were facing away from Impa's expedition, but it was clear that any closer advancement would reveal their presence. The Sheikah saw the massive trees of the Faron Woods ahead of her and realized that this massive army was designed to keep anything that was inside of the woods…in.
"What should we do?" Proxi asked, floating in between Link and Impa. Impa sighed.
"I am not sure, Proxi." She said. "We do not have the numbers to do battle in an open field, and I do not wish to put us through a meat grinder just because we can. The quicker we can get to the princess in the woods, the better." She said. Ishaka snorted.
"There be other ways inta th' Woods, Sheikah." He said. Impa turned towards him.
"Such as?"
"Th' Caves." He said. Impa's eyes widened.
"The Eldin Caves?" She asked. "Surely you jest."
"I be ser'us, though my name ain't Shirley." Ishaka said. Impa resisted the urge to slap the moron in the face. Later. That would come later. For now…
"They are incredibly dangerous."
"And we Ravagers know th' way." Ishaka said. "There be an entrance to th' forest through th' caves. But we bett'r move now, 'fore it get dark."
Impa thought about it for a moment. It was either charge into the forest and that Moblin blockade straight on and risk a massacre for the slim hope that the princess was alive and within the place, or turn around and hook through the Eldin Caves where they might get massacred but also might make it out relatively unscathed.
In the end, the choice was relatively easy.
"Tell the men we're making a detour into the caves." Impa said. As Ishaka was about to walk away, she grabbed him and yanked him in close by the scruff of his neck.
"I am putting our lives into your hands. Do not take that lightly."
…
One of the benefits of being the Sorceress of Time was the possession of very far-ranging eyes and ears. Cia allowed herself a smirk as she watched this change of course. She cursed the fact that that blasted princess had enough magical prowess to shade much of Hyrule from her scrying eyes, but this far out into the Hylian fields? Fair game.
Cia laughed at the thought. Fair? Hardly, considering she was spying on the enemy. Well, better them than her. Still, it didn't take a genius to figure out that the Sheik warrior was leading those ragamuffin soldiers into the Eldin Caves in order to get to the Faron Woods, and that they would need to be taken care of.
"Oh…Wizzro, dear?" She asked. There was a dark, smoke-like presence that materialized before her, and the bulbous and disgusting creature was before her once more. Cia had no idea what was underneath that ragged cloak that…it wore, and had no interest in finding out. Probably concentrated magic, or maybe smoke.
"Yes, Mistress Cia?" It rasped. Cia sighed, slightly melodramatically.
"I have it on good intelligence that there is a Hyrulian and…something else brigade approaching the Eldin Caves." She watched with a smirk as Wizzro's eye widened in interest.
"Go on…" It intoned. Cia tapped her crystal ball expectantly with her pointer finger.
"They're going to go in there. Do me a favor, my dear. Kill them."
"I thought you'd never ask." Wizzro rasped. It was about to disappear, when a thought struck it. "What about your hero?"
"Mmm…my darling Link?" Cia asked. She seemed to be lost in thought for a moment, and then it became clear that she was daydreaming. Wizzro debated snapping his fingers to get her attention, but didn't want to get on her bad side. So it waited. Cia opened her eyes, and though she wore a mask it was clear that she was staring straight at him. "Him…you will bring to me. And as handsome and as precious as you find him, understood? Because if I see that even one hair on his gorgeous little head is harmed, I'll erase you, wizard. Are we clear?"
"Transparently." Wizzro said. He had hesitated. And with that, he disappeared in a cloud of smoke. Smiling to herself, Cia turned back around and continued to stare at this adorable little hunting party heading to their doom. And of course, the only one she had eyes for was her beloved Hero.
"I'll see you soon, baby…"
…
It was damned hot in the Eldin Caves.* Impa could feel herself sweating, and they had barely been in the caves for twenty minutes. She glanced over at Link and Ishaka. Neither of them were sweating in the caves. She rolled her eyes. Figures. Link, being the Hero of the Era, was probably being blessed by the Goddesses to keep a cool head, but what the hell was Ishaka's excuse? There was no way that she was wearing thicker clothing than that damned duster of his.
They stood in the middle of a rock floe, looking at the lava streams around them. Impa thanked the Goddesses for the Gorons and their heat-reducing magic. If it weren't for them enchanting the rock upon which people could walk, being this close to that much lava was a recipe for instant immolation.
And speaking of Gorons, shortly after they had entered the caves they had been joined by a Goron squadron. The Goron Empire had heard of their quest to investigate the Faron Woods (dismissing Impa's stunned protests with "It's our business to know these things, Sister."), and was glad to send some of their finest troops to help their revered Big Sister Impa.
"Big sist'r, eh?" Ishaka asked. "Di'nt think yeh had it in ya!" Link covered his mouth to stifle a laugh, and they both could see that Impa was getting embarrassed.
"It is just a…formal name. The Gorons are remarkably informal with their titles, but it is a formal title all the same." She said. Ishaka chuckled, that same "hee-hee-hee" sound that was the soundtrack to Impa's greatest irritation, and gestured to a rocky area in the distance.
"That be th' exit I be talkin' 'bout!" Ishaka said. "Jes' gotta hook 'round these pathways, an' 'fore yeh know it, we're in th' clear!"
"Thank goodness." Impa said. "It's getting awfully boring here. One almost wishes for something to happen."
At that moment, there was a horrific cracking noise, as if the ground was ripping itself apart. Everyone drew their weapons in alarm as bony hands emerged from the ground, with soulless skeletal bodies attached to them. Stalchildren. Hundreds and hundreds of Stalchildren.
"I WAS KIDDING!" Impa roared, swinging her Biggoron Knife with enough power to cut through half a dozen of the little beasts. Link drew his Hylian sword, and with a cry launched himself at a few more of the charging beasts. Ishaka drew his twin knives, and let out a snarl.
"Come an' get me!" He barked.
…
From a perch high above in the gloam, Wizzro watched the action and clapped its hands in glee.
"Hiya hah ha!" It cackled. "Kill them! Kill them all!"
…
Impa turned around to see that her force had been cut off. While she, Link, and a few Hyrulian and Ravager troops had been pushed up a rocky pathway and into a overhang-laden area, the majority of her troops were still stuck with Ishaka. The Sheikah warrior was about to bark out an order, when she realized that her little party was surrounded. She'd never seen so many Stalchildren before. They seemed to block out the ground, and their glowly red eyes were like countless coals from a fire. She felt something bump into her back, and realized that it was Link. They were completely trapped.
There was a soft melody in the air. It was enough to halt the attack of the Stalchildren. Impa and Link turned to look up towards the source of the music. A human figure was standing at the top of an overhang above them, eyes closed and gently playing a harp. It was sweet music, almost enough to make one forget that one was facing certain doom. It looked like a young man, wearing a hooded face mask and tribal gear. He opened his red eyes, and suddenly strummed the harp violently. Impa watched in awe as the musical notes took form in a shock wave and smashed into the Stalchildren, and turned them all into bones. The male leapt from the overhang, and continued lazily playing his harp as he approached the wary Hyrulian group.
"Who are you?" Impa asked.
"No one of circumstance." The male replied a rather husky yet soft voice.
"I must know." Impa said. "How do we know we can trust you?"
"You don't." The male said. "But you can." He put away his harp, and drew a nasty-looking knife. "My name is Sheik. I am a member of the Sheikah tribe. And I come bearing a message passed from the princess."
"Sheikah? But that's imposs-" Impa was cut off by a realization. "The princess? You've seen her?" Sheik nodded.
"The princess is not dead. Continue on this path, and you shall be reunited shortly. For now, let me help you. Your ally the Ravager fights an endless battle, though he does not know it. For the Stalchildren in this cave have been magically enchanted to endlessly revive by the Spirit of the Cave, which itself has been revived by the dark magician Wizzro. Come. We must destroy it, and only then will things come to an end." He said. He dashed off, and Impa and Link barely had time to register what was happening before they took off after him.
…
Ishaka could feel himself slowing down. He'd lost count at four hundred slain Stalchildren, but he'd be damned if the things kept picking themselves up and throwing themselves at the steady yet rapidly tiring Ravager defense. The Gorons were reduced to throwing rocks at the advancing Stalchildren, as their hammers and clubs had worn out from the constant pounding.
Ishaka decapitated a creature, and then glanced up. There was a massive pillar of rock behind him, hanging on the ledge of where it was safe to walk. He saw that, if it were to fall, it would fall towards the exit of the cave. Now, if only…
"Hey!" He barked towards a nearby Goron captain. "You gotta Bombchu?"
"Yes, but only one works, brother!" The captain replied. "The other one can't get its fuse lit!"
"They cond'ctive 'xplosions?" Ishaka asked, feeling really tired. The Goron captain nodded.
"Yes, but it's very dangerous! We'll need time and some space to set them up and-"
"JES' DO IT, DAMMIT! I GIVE YEH ALL TH' TIME YA WANT!" Ishaka roared, kicking a Stalchild in the face so hard the skull caved in on itself. The Goron captain nodded.
"Brothers!" He boomed. "Summon the Bombchus!"
…
"By the Goddesses, how is it so cold in here?" Impa asked, completely shivering by now. They had followed Sheik into the depths of the caves for a few minutes now, and were stunned with how different it was in these caverns. Crystals, mirrors, reflections, and frost. Completely antithetical to what they knew Ishaka was fighting in. Still, there was something about this mysterious Sheik that was leading them that led Impa to believe that they were on the right path.
Eventually, they were led to a dark culdesac within the cave. It was near impossible to see what was going on in here. Yet Impa felt the skin stand up on the back of her neck. This was an evil room. She knew it. Sheik turned to face them.
"Ready your weapons." He said. He strummed his harp, sending up what appeared to be a flare of some sort. Impa and Link looked up, and their jaws nearly fell in shock. For floating above them was some wispy black mist, with what appeared to be a malevolent outline of a face inside it. It looked at them, and let out a shriek. The mist spiraled downwards to the ground, and took corporeal shape in the form of a ragged old Poe.*
"Get it!" Impa barked.
She and Link lunged for the creature, while Stalchildren emerged from the ground and attacked their backup. Even Sheik was forced to grab a weapon and jump into the fray.
Impa let out a banshee-like screech and she hacked and slashed at the creature, but was increasingly frustrated by her lack of contact or any corporeal damage. The Spirit of the Cave began to laugh, and pointed a crooked finger at her in a mocking fashion.
"Yoouuuuuu are weeeeeaakkkk…" It hissed. It was about to fire a blast of dark energy from that fingertip, but it never got the chance. There was a flash of steel, and then a horrible shriek. Link had leapt forward, and severed the hand of the Spirit clean off, the pointer finger still extended. Everyone watched in awe as the hand went completely corporeal, and then crumbled to dust as time finally caught up to it.
The Stalchildren turned their attention to this strange creature that had harmed their master, but effortless slashes from his blade turned them into a pile of dust and decaying bones. The Spirit of the Caves tried to disappear into a haze of smoke, but Sheik played another melody on his harp, making the light in the room even brighter and causing the Spirit to become even more corporeal. So much so that it was knocked to the ground, as if weights had been fastened beneath it. It saw Link approaching it, a determined look on his face, and held up its hands. If it could think, it would have tried to flee, or leave to fight another day. But the Spirit of the Caves did none of these things.
What it did instead, in its final moments, before that glowing blade came crashing down and brought eternal darkness with it, was fight off the irresistible urge to flee.
To beg.
To crawl.
Impa and Sheik, as well as the rest of the group, stared in awe at Link as he walked back towards them. He sheathed his sword, and had a slightly carefree expression on his face. Proxi was floating around his head, but it was clear that even she was dumbfounded by what she had seen. Link looked at the group, and then glanced down at his left hand.
Even though it was covered in a glove, the Triforce of Courage was glowing with a brilliant light that shined through the leather.
They slowly made their way back to the beginning of the caves, where they had been separated from Ishaka and the rest of the Ravagers. There was a mountain of bones on the ground, and Impa praised the Goddesses that the number of their fallen was microscopically small. They made their way to Ishaka, who was leaning against a massive pillar of rock while the Gorons finished prepared the Bombchus.
"Are you alright, Ishaka?" Impa asked. The Ravager leader was covered in bony dust, from splintering countless Stalchildren, and was teetering back and forth on his heels.
"M'fine!" He said, in a strangely chipper voice. "I be th' best I…I ever be!" He said. Impa glanced at the Goron captain.
"He broke up enough Stalchildren to fill a valley of graves and has been smoking something of indeterminate origin but most determinate barbiturate nature." The captain said. "Would you give me a hand in moving him? I'd hate to see this one caught in the blast radius."
Sighing mightily, Impa walked over to Ishaka. She stepped under one of his shoulders, and the Goron captain got under the other. With a grunt, the two of them heaved him up and walked him out from under the pillar, as the fuse for the one Bombchu was lit. They barely managed to get out of the zone before the Bombchus detonated, causing the pillar to fall into the lava…but create a perfect line straight for the exit.
"How…'bou' tha'?" Ishaka asked. "Made a bridge. An' it only took whuh…ten sec'nds?"
"More or less." Impa said, smirking at how out of it the exhausted Ravager captain was. She set him down against a rock. "We will rest here for a few moments. I'll let you sleep it off."
"Slee'…slee' it off?" Ishaka asked. "On…th' contrary Sheikah…I be….*Yawn*…I be jes' gettin'…star…ted…" His eyes almost closed, before he managed one more non sequiter. "Smoke if yeh got 'em!"
He started snoring moments later. Impa fought the urge to laugh. Oh, this was most certainly going to be held against him.
HYRULIAN CODEX
"Ordo" – A Sheikah expression for a donkey or mule's rear end.
Eldin Caves – A labyrinth of maze-like caves that run underneath the Hyrulian surface, in particular underneath what is colloquially referred to as "Death" Mountain. The Eldin Caves technically fall under the jurisdiction of the Goron Empire, but because of the high amount of dark forces that lurk in there, as well as the extreme temperature differences between the volcanic underbelly of some of the cave in comparison to the icy interior where the "Spirit of the Cave" dwells, it is difficult for any Goron colony to settle in. Despite this, the Goron Chieftain keeps an attachment of his toughest soldiers to recon the area, along with a steady amount of Bombchus to break through harder rock.
Poe – Some spirits die with dignity, and are allowed to keep their physical semblance as they pass on to the next life and to the eternal journey. Some other spirits, however, are not given this luxury. These are the spirits that cursed the names of the Goddeses, or who delighted in harming those around them, or let their hearts grow cold as ice. As punishment, their "eternal" life is that as a misshapen and grotesque ghostly figure…a corporeal figure that can be "killed" by mortals…before they regenerate again to repeat the same cursed cycle.