A/N: I own nothing except a copy of this great game. Second note: A single singer is demarked in italics "like this", while a crowd singing is demarked "like this."
Lana gazed at the portal in front of her. It was a large and truly powerful bit of magic, radiating with power and might that put her skin on edge. The others, blessed in their naivete, couldn't feel the true might and complexity of this abnormality. What Cia had done was the equivalent of telling rain to fall upwards, or the sun to rise and set in reverse. It was an act that could only be accomplished by the acquiring of the total Triforce, for only the distilled power of the Goddesses could possibly defy the laws of nature that They had set.
She sighed, and peered off into the distance. Impa and her army had just finished marching into whatever land their portal would take them. Link and his forces were in the middle of the same process, with half of them in the portal and the other half waiting for room to move. That just left her with Ishaka.
She peered around a little bit nervously. Impa and Sheik had gone with an equal split, with Hyrulians and Ravagers in almost identical numbers. Link had gone in with essentially the entire Hyrulian army, and only a handful of hand-picked Ravagers to guard the Hero. That left her with the Ravager army. Just the Ravager army. Not a single Hyrulian bit of steel or gleaming armor in sight. She turned around and looked at the ragged masses behind her. They were wrapped in rags and poorly sewn leathers and animal skins, their faces dirtied from their time in the Southern Vale. She didn't like how some of them were staring at her. It made her feel like….well, it made her feel like they were putting her on a pedestal, and one that she didn't deserve at that.
She heard a soft coughing next to her. Ishaka had breathed in a little bit too deeply into his pipe, and some of the smoke had gone down the wrong airway. He smacked his chest in order to help clear out his lungs, and then looked over at her with a smile.
"Yeh ready, miss Lana?" Ishaka asked. Lana nodded a bit hesitantly.
"Yes. Yes, of course." She looked around. "Do…do I need to say something to them?" She glanced furtively at the Ravager army. "I…I don't think that I'd make for a very good speech-giver."
Ishaka chuckled, that "hee-hee-hee!" sound that he broke into when something was particularly amusing. He took his pipe out of his mouth, and held it loosely in his left hand by his hip.
"Yeh needn't worry, miss Lana. I be th' talk'r fer this here comp'ny. Though…" he gave her a little wink. "I be thinkin' yeh'd do jes' fine if'n yeh had ta talk yerself."
Lana smiled a little bit. Ishaka took that moment to stand atop a rock a few feet high, so that everyone could see and hear him.
"Ay yooooooo, Ravagers!" Ishaka barked. Almost immediately, the ragtag army of ruffians all straightened to ramrod and rapt attention. It was positively astounding, and Lana could scant believe her eyes that they were all so quick to pay attention.
"Gentl'men!" Ishaka began.
"And ladies!" a feminine voice barked out from the back. Ishaka peered out into the crowd, dramatically looking through them all.
"I don't know 'bout ladies, but we've got females in th' ranks, no?" Ishaka asked. A round of chuckling from the Ravagers. Lana instinctively smiled, but then shook her head. That was a rather undignified thing to laugh at. Still, the women that she could see in the Ravager lines didn't seem to upset with the joke. In fact, judging by their reactions, they looked positively expectant: they were expecting worse.
"If'n I may," Ishaka continued, shooting a mockingly stern glance towards the crowd as if daring someone to speak. "Th' time comes fer us ta go inta th' brave unknown! I can't say jes' where it'll take us, but I can guar'ntee this: it ain't gonna be a walk inna park fer any o' us!" He pointed to the portal. "Here be th' route tha' our enemy ran off ta! Most def'nitely th' place where they lie in wait fer us! An' they can wait all they damn well please, 'cuz it ain't gonna matt'r a damn sight!"
A rumbling of agreement rolled through the ranks. Ishaka smiled, a gleam in his eye.
"But I will wag'r this: there be en'mies on th' oth'r side o' this 'ere portal! Brave 'uns too, if'n they figgered ta go through inna firs' place!" He smirked. "Brave en'mies…let's go kill 'em."
A roar emerged from the crowd, and with that the Ravagers began to advance towards the portal. Lana felt her stomach drop into her toes. There were an awful lot of them coming her way…
.
Before she could react, Ishaka had leapt off of the rock and was standing in front of her.
"Hiya, miss Lana!" He said with a grin. "Needn't worry 'bout transp'rtation. I gotcha cover'd!"
"Covered? Whatever-" Lana was interrupted midsentence when a positively massive Goron grabbed her from behind and hoisted her onto his shoulder. She had given a squeal of fright, and only managed to calm down when she was safely sitting on the big beast's shoulder. Ishaka laughed, and started walking alongside her.
"This be ol' Meat'ook! Say hi ta miss Lana, Meat'ook!"
"Hullo…" Meathook rumbled. He was about seven feet tall, a few inches taller than Ishaka, but massively wider and stouter than the Ravager commander. Lana realized that perhaps it wasn't so bad that she was about to be transported like a VIP through the portal. Ishaka saw her slowly forming smile and laughed.
"I figgered yeh'd need a prop'r escort, miss Lana!" Ishaka said. "Can't be 'avin' yeh git 'urt on my watch now, can ya?" He asked. Lana smiled some more.
"No. No I suppose not." She said. Ishaka saw that they were only a few feet away from the portal. Most of his soldiers had already raced in.
"Oo rah!" Ishaka shouted. "Inta th' breach, Ravagers! Charrrgggeee!"
With a flash, they'd stepped into the portal.
.
Lana had only heard stories, but she recognized this place immediately. It was a pretty land, but there was something…melancholy about it. Like instead of looking at the sunrise of Hyrule and all of its glory, this seemed like Hyrule towards the end of an age. An era of…
"Twilight." Lana said. The Ravager army, all of them stopped and setting up basic defensive positions around the portal, turned to look at her. Lana blushed a little bit, not realizing that her voice carried so far while atop Meathook's shoulder. Ishaka cocked his head to the side.
"Twiligh', miss Lana?"
"Yes." Lana said. "A time in the history of where two dimensions mixed together and nearly ripped apart the fabric of civilization. The Era of Hyrule's schism with the Twilight Realm.* The Era of Twilight."
"That soun's kinda om'nous, if'n yeh don't mind me sayin' so." Ishaka said. Lana nodded.
"There were dark and mysterious creatures that inhabited the land during this time period. And…" She gestured in the distance. Like great curtains, walls of darkness and strange symbols covered various pieces of the fields that they stood in. Nothing could be seen anywhere within those pockets. "…the Twilight obscured all in its path."
Ishaka's exuberant nature seemed remarkably subdued. He whistled.
"Ryu!" He barked to a female Ravager. She was covered in tattoos and had shaved all of her hair. Her ears were pierced so many times that Lana wondered how they hadn't fallen off of her head.
"Yes?" She said. Ishaka cocked his head to the side.
"Yeh woul'n't min' buildin' some defens've p'sitions 'round this 'ere portal, would yeh baby doll?" He said, winking at the end. Ryu smirked.
"Of course, sugar." She turned around. "Alright, you heard the commander, maggots!" She barked in a harsh voice. "Start making a command post! Cut down some trees and build defense walls!" Lana's eyes widened, clearly not expecting that turn of personality. Ishaka walked up to her, and leaned up on his tip-toes so he could whisper in her ear.
"Ryu be a bit o' a toughie wit' th' men, but they love 'er. She gotta heart 'o gold." He said.
"Stop lying, Ishaka!" Ryu said. She turned around and put her hands on her hips. "Don't fill that little waif's head with shit: I'm a bitch and proud of it!"
"OO RAH!" A bunch of Ravagers barked in agreement.
"What a strange army this is…" Lana muttered. Ishaka shrugged with a chuckle.
"Them's th' breaks, miss Lana!" He turned around. "I be takin' th' Sorceress ta scout th' village o'er there!" He said, pointing to an abandoned-looking place to the west. "In th' meantime, stay on yer guard, Ravagers!" He drew a sword and dagger. "I don't like this place…"
.
Lana saw his choice of weapon, and sighed. She'd remembered how catatonic he'd been with the loss of his black knives, weapons he claimed were one of a kind and forever lost. He'd been searching for something to replace them, but had never found anything satisfactory. Spears and swords were too unwieldy, and he didn't like carrying a shield. In the end, he found a trainee's sword and had sharpened it to a ludicrous point, and grabbed a dagger that had a blade about eight inches long. They weren't black knives, but they were good enough. Well, that was what Ishaka had said. Lana could tell that he was lying.
Meathook started lumbering after his boss, and Lana had to grab tightly onto the Goron's shoulders so that she wasn't knocked off. A platoon of sturdy-looking Ravagers broke away from the main force, and with that followed their leader towards that ruined village.
It certainly looked ruined. Houses were burned out, arrows littered the streets, and ragged clothing abandoned on the line fluttered in the wind. Ishaka kept his weapons drawn, and frowned.
"It be a ghost town." He said. Lana spoke up.
"Who could have done this?"
"Bokoblins." One of the Ravagers said. He'd picked up one of the arrows from the ground, and examined it closely. "Only those little beasts would make arrows as brittle as these. Quick to fire, easy to make-"
"An' hell ta treat." Ishaka said. "Can't say 'ow much ol' Itami 'ates 'avin' ta fix up fellas wit' Bokob'n arrows in 'em."
"Why are they so bad?" Lana asked. "Aren't all arrows…bad?"
"They splinter easily." The Ravager examining the arrow said. "It's hard to get all of the pieces out of a wound. And considering Bokoblins like to use wood that's coated in poison ivy…infections are rampant."
"I hate Bok'blins." Ishaka said. "Buncha good fer nothin' li'l monst'rs. They 'ave a likin' ta prey on th' weak an' 'elpless."
At that exact moment, a shrill scream echoed through the air.
"What was that?" Lana asked.
Ishaka hadn't answered. He'd already started racing towards the source of the sound.
"Um…follow him!" Lana said. The other Ravagers took the order.
.
She was running as fast as her little legs could carry her. She'd raced over the hill, and was now running towards the village while they howled and snorted behind her. Her dress was restricting her movement, and her shoes were not built for sprinting. Her soles hurt and her legs were getting tired. She clutched her basket tightly to her chest, terrified of losing anything inside.
"Help! Heeelllpppp!" She shouted again. She continued running. She was about to turn left, and then saw that more of those monsters were coming. She doubled back and tried to turn to the right…and more of the monsters were coming. She started to back away from the beasts, and then hit the side of the hill. There was no way to climb up. There was nowhere else to run. She was trapped.
"D-don't squish me!" She pleaded.
The Moblin leader of the pack grinned. It really did like kids, it thought as it raised its spear.
They didn't make too much of a mess.
.
There was a roar, and she let out a squeak of shock and fright as suddenly a blade burst through the mouth of the massive pig-like creature that had raised its pointy stick at her. Another grunt, and the blade was pulled back through the back of its head. As the pig-like beast crumpled over, she could finally see her savior. A very tall man, wearing a ragged coat and clothing underneath that had clearly been sewn many times. His hair looked like it had recently been cut, and his face was covered in scruff. And oh, how marvelous he fought! She clapped her hands in amazement. He moved like a mighty stag beetle, using those two blades in his hands like the pincers of that species. In a few moments, all of the awful beasts lay at the feet of the beetle man, bleeding and unmoving, and he quickly turned towards her with a panicked look.
He knelt down on one knee, and put his hands on her shoulders and looked her in the eye.
"Are yeh alright, m'dear?" He asked. She giggled. So polite!
"Why of course! Thank you for saving me!" She said. She cocked her head to the side, putting a finger to her chin. "And who might you be?"
.
This little girl was taking the fact that he had gruesomely killed an entire squad of Bokoblins and their Moblin leader right in front of her face remarkably well. He frowned slightly in confusion, but then quickly adopted a warmer smile.
"Um…I be Ishaka. Call me Ishaka. An' who you be, miss…?"
"Agitha!" The little girl said, twirling her umbrella in her hand. "You may call me Agitha. Thank you again, brave knight. You've done a most chivalrous thing in saving the Princess of the Insect Kingdom!"
At that moment, Lana and the rest of the Ravager squad came barreling around the bend.
"Ishaka! Is everything all-who is this?" She asked, walking up to Agitha. The little princess giggled.
"I'm Agitha, princess of the Insect Kingdom! This here is mister Shasa, who saved me from those mean baddies!" She said. Lana glanced around, observing the Bokoblins and Moblin all in varying states of death. She gave Ishaka a bit of a glare, and resisted the urge to roll her eyes at his sheepish shrug. It was clear as day what he was thinking.
Sorry it was so messy, I didn't really think about that.
"Princess…of the Insect Kingdom?" Lana asked. Agitha nodded excitedly. Lana tapped her finger to her chin. "I, uh, can't say that I've heard of-"
"It's a bit o' a li'l kingd'm, innit miss Agitha?" Ishaka quickly interrupted her. When Lana looked at him with a slightly annoyed glance for interrupting her, she caught the meaningful look in his eyes. Just play along. "Maybe yeh'd like ta 'elp us, yer highness?" He said, exaggerating those last two words in a way that made Agitha giggle.
"Of course, mister Shasa! Whatever do you need from me?" She asked. Lana spoke up.
"We're looking for a Gate of Souls…but we don't really know where to look." Lana said, sighing as she flipped through the pages of her spellbook. The blasted thing was great in telling her that such things existed, but the where of it all was rather frustrating. Agitha looked confused.
"Gate of Souls? Can't say I've ever heard of one before…" She said. Suddenly, she brightened up considerably. "But I can take you exactly where you need to go!"
Lana and Ishaka looked at each other. Lana put her hands on her knees, and looked down at Agitha.
"And…how exactly will you do that?" She asked. Agitha reached into her picnic basket, and took out a jar. She uncorked the jar, and to the surprise of everyone in the group a small and glowing little ball of blue light emerged from it. It floated daintily in the air, and gently came to a rest on Agitha's outstretched palm.
"With this Goddess Butterfly*!" Agitha said proudly. "All you have to do is ask nicely, and she'll take you where you want to go!" She looked at Lana quizzically. "What is it that you said you wanted to find, again?"
"Erm…the Gate of Souls, please." Lana said. She gave a glare to Ishaka when she saw him stifling a laugh. Well, let's see how he feels soliciting the help of a butterfly! Agitha thankfully did not notice this, and smiled.
"Okay! Mrs. Butterfly?" She cooed to the little creature. "Can you find us the Gate of Souls, please?"
The little blue light suddenly grew brilliantly bright, and with that took off to the northeast.
"Yay! She's on the right path!" Agitha said, skipping after the creature.
For a moment, Ishaka, Lana and the Ravagers watched her go in confusion. And then, they realized that they were letting a little girl prance unarmed and unprotected across what was sure to be an open battlefield. They all gave cries of shock, and raced after the mysterious little girl.
.
"Hee hee! It's such a nice day out!" Agitha said, skipping through the fields and over burned out battlements with a spring in her step. In front of her, the Goddess Butterfly continued to fly through the air in some general direction. Behind them, Ishaka, Lana and the squad of Ravagers were doing their best to keep the little girl from being attacked from any of the Bokoblins and Moblins in the valley. "Come along, everyone! I promise you that the Goddess Butterfly is trustworthy."
"Does she ev'n know wha' th' hell is goin' on?" Ishaka asked, in between gutting a Bokoblin and decapitating another one. Lana pirouetted and pivoted around the field, pointing her finger and watching the jets of electricity escape from her fingertip.
"Don't stop! Just keep her safe!" The sorceress commanded. The other Ravagers were all too busy dealing with the Bokoblins to say anything themselves, but it was clear as day that they weren't about to disagree with their leaders.
Agitha eventually stopped in the middle of a burned out town square, slightly to the north of the village that they'd found her in.
"Oh dear, oh dear!" She said, shivering with fright. The Goddess Butterfly was tucked in the bottle now, and refused to come out. "Mrs. Butterfly is scared of the Twilight! We can't go any further!"
The rest of the platoon caught up to her. Most of them put their hands on their knees, panting as they tried to regain their breath. This little girl may be a little bit…off, but by the Goddesses she was quick. Managing to find his breath, Ishaka spoke up.
"Th' Twiligh'? Whate'r d'ya mean, yer highness?" He asked. Agitha shivered some more.
"Scary things hide in the Twilight. Scary things like-EEK!"
There was a snarl, and a dark form seemingly emerged from out of nowhere and flew down towards the group, buzzing them so that they all had to duck and cover. Lana instinctively ran over and huddled over Agitha, with Meathook wrapping himself over them both. That left the rest of the Ravagers to deal with this flying menace.
It screeched, and circled back around in the air. It looked like a flying Aeralfos, but was pitch black. There wasn't a hint of color anywhere in the creature's body. Ishaka sheathed his sword, and drew the little dagger he had and twirled it in his hand. It was time to do something stupid.
"Gimme a lif'!" Ishaka shouted. One of the bigger-looking Ravagers ran forward, and cupped his hands close to the ground. Timing it, Ishaka ran forward, stepped on the Ravager's hands, and with a grunt leapt up into the air. Coupled with the Ravager deadlifting, he managed to get just enough hangtime to crash right into the dark beast. It hissed in rage, trying to bite his face off. Ishaka wrapped his legs around the creature's belly to keep from falling off, and with both hands grabbed the edges of the creature's jaw to keep it from snapping at him. They were flying erratically around in the air, and with a roar Ishaka yanked the creature's head in a funny angle. He heard the dull snapping noise, and the creature went limp.
Ishaka had roughly a moment to celebrate before he realized that this dead creature was also the only thing keeping him up in the air. He gave a shout of shock as they both hit the ground hard.
"Ishaka!" Lana shouted, as she and the rest of the group ran over to the two bodies. They rolled the dead dark Aeralfos over, only to see Ishaka rolling around on the ground and clutching his shoulder in extreme pain.
"M'should'r!" Ishaka said through gritted teeth. "It's outta AAAAARRRGG-" He bit his lip to keep from screaming in pain, and Lana saw he was drawing blood. She swiftly looked over the joint in question. It was jutting out rather prominently, moreso than normal. She wasn't the most masterful healer in the world, but it was clear that it was a clean dislocation.
"It looks dislocated." Lana said. "Let's get you back to Ryu and they can help you-"
"Pop it!" Ishaka barked. He was gritting his teeth so tightly that his jaws were whitening. "Put 'er back n'place!"
Lana took a deep breath. That was usually a risky thing to do, especially if it was a serious dislocation. But she saw how badly this man was hurting, and knew that he would have to be carried off of a battlefield in a straitjacket. Sighing, she turned to two of the Ravagers.
"Hold him down."
They looked at her, then him, and then back at her. They both gulped in fear, and went to keep Ishaka pinned on his knees. One of them held him by the shoulder, while the other gingerly braced the arm for the inevitable. Lana took a deep breath, and then summoned her Deku spear from the transdimensional pocket she kept it hidden in. She looked for the flattest edge of the piece, and then lined it up with Ishaka's shoulder. She gingerly pressed it to the joint, and heard the Ravager commander whimper in pain. She closed her eyes.
"On the count of three." She said.
"Wai', wai'!" Ishaka said. "Yeh mean 'one, two, three' an' then yeh hit? Or issit 'one, two,' an' then hit on three?"
"On three." Lana said. She rolled her eyes. A smartass, even when in excruciating pain. She lined it up like a lumberjack. "One…two…"
She swung.
He nearly rendered them deaf with his roar, followed by the loudest exclamation of a rather vulgar word that went on so long and with such force that Lana started to blush.
"-UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!" Ishaka finally finished. He blinked the tears out of his eyes, and then gingerly rotated his shoulder. He winced a little bit, but it wasn't enough to make him stop. Tentatively, he unsheathed his sword, and swung it around a bit. He was wincing in pain, but it wasn't nearly to the level of before. He sighed. "Er, sorry 'bout tha'." He turned to Lana. "Yeh can hit pretty 'ard wit' tha' thing, miss Lana." He was squinting one eye closed, so he was clearly still in some degree of pain. Lana shrugged.
"Well, there might have come a time where spells don't work, and I have to hit something." She said. "I might have enjoyed that a little bit, to be honest."
"How very ingenious of you, missus Lana!" Agitha said. "Now let's get back to following Mrs. Butterf-" She looked at her jar, and squeaked in shock. "Mrs. Butterfly! She flew out of her jar, and I can't find her!"
"Looking for this?"
.
They turned to see an army of bones in front of them. Stalchildren, Stalmasters, and everything in between. They were all staring at this group with their soulless and burning red eyes. But it was the being in the middle of them all that had their undivided attention. It was a little imp-like creature, wearing a strange mask that obscured one eye and kept its orange hair tied back. The thing looked a little feminine by the width of its hips, but none of them had ever seen a creature like this before so they weren't about to check. It was both dark and light-colored, black and faded teal, and ancient runes seemed to be patterned into its fur. The creature held something up in her hand: encased in a protective sphere of dark magic was the Goddess Butterfly. It didn't seem like it was hurt, but it wasn't about to escape any time soon.
"Let that go!" Lana said. "We need it!"
"Why?" The little imp asked. "So it can go around spreading poison amongst my soldiers? Hardly." She glanced back at her army. "Well, I mean it's not like they'll feel it, being dead and all, but I'll certainly be annoyed." She stared at them smugly. "Can't be too happy now that I have your poisonous little friend, huh?"
"I can assure you, that butterfly is not of a poisonous genus!" Agitha forced her way to the front of the rank, standing right in front of Ishaka and Lana. The imp creature raised an eyebrow.
"Who's the little urchin with the picnic basket, and why is she in the middle of a battlefield?" It asked.
"Why, I never!" Agitha pouted, stomping her feet in the ground. "My name is Agitha, Princess of the Insect Kingdom. That's not nice to talk to royalty like that!" To the surprise of the rest of the group, the Imp Creature laughed. It was a strange, unusual laughter. Lana was reminded of a more annoying version of Ishaka's own chuckle. Ishaka was wondering if he sounded that stupid.
"Well, excuse me princess!" The Imp said. "From one royal to another, I sincerely apologize." She looked quizzically at the little Butterfly in her hand. "Alright then, I'm stumped. If this isn't a poisonous little attack on my army, then what on earth are you carrying it around for?" Before anyone could say anything, Agitha clapped her hands and spoke.
"Why, it's a Goddess Butterfly! All you have to do is ask it nicely, and it will take you anywhere you want to go! Isn't that great?" Agitha said. Ishaka facepalmed.
"Stop talkin', yer highness…" He said under his breath. The Imp grinned slyly.
"Anywhere I want, huh?" It asked. It released the Butterfly, and then looked at it. "Hey, Butterfly! Take me to that awful witch that made me look like this!" The Buttefly glowed a brilliant blue light, and started flying off. The little Imp giggled, and started floating after it. After a few paces, she stopped and looked over her shoulder. "Oh, by the way: thanks for the gift. Pleasure doing business with you. But, uh, I'm not really one to leave loose ends untied soooo…" She turned to the Stalmaster next to her. "Take care of them."
It growled, and motioned for its forces to advance upon them.
.
"Does tha' thin' not know we're fightin' a Sorc'ress too?" Ishaka asked. He drew his weapons. Lana readied her Deku spear.
"This is no time to worry about semantics, Ishaka!" Lana shouted. She swung her spear. The flat edge of the wood cracked across the skull of a Stalchild, shattering its head into several pieces and causing the entire body to come apart as a result. "We just need to find it, and see where it's taking the Goddess Butterfly!"
"Oh dear me, oh dear me!" Agitha said, as she tried to maneuver in between the various bits of fighting without getting hurt herself. "I'm too small for battling like this!" She said.
There was a rumbling sound. She turned around to see Meathook come barreling through a couple of Stalchildren, finishing by picking up a Stalmaster by the neck and literally crushing its head with his bare hands. Getting down on one knee, Meathook gestured for Agitha to climb up his arm. She did so, and as soon as she was safely on his shoulder Meathook resumed throwing Stalchildren aside with his massive arms. Agitha giggled.
"Oh, this is so much fun!" She said. "You fight like a Rhinoceros Beetle!"
Meathook seemed expressionless, but if one looked rather carefully, one could see the faintest traces of a smile.
.
Ishaka stabbed a Stalchild in the face, and then yanked the blade out of the bony hole. He scowled. There were too many of these creatures, and though his platoon was cutting through them fine enough it wasn't enough to keep the pace with that imp-like creature.
"Meat'ook!" He shouted. The massive Goron took a break from pasting Stalchildren to turn around. "Gimme a lift!" Recognizing what his boss was asking for, Meathook lowered his massive hand so that Ishaka could stand on it. Slowly, Meathook lifted him up into the air, so that Ishaka could see far down the fields. Ishaka took a deep breath, puckered up, and let loose a series of shrill whistles.
.
Ryu heard it cutting through the air. A small cadre of stupid Bokoblins had stumbled upon the Ravager army as they were sitting tight and waiting for something to do, and were currently paying for their foolishness. As her army turned the Bokoblin advance into a meat grinder, the bald-headed woman heard a series of bird-like whistles cutting through the air. It was Ishaka calling out. Taking a deep breath, Ryu answered back with a series of sharp whistles of her own. While Ishaka's had sounded almost questioning and quizzical, hers were more declarative. There was a pause. Another quizzical series of whistles. Ryu smirked. He was asking if they were willing to move and rendezvous. Ryu's whistle was even more affirmative than before. There was a pause, and then Ishaka's whistle in reply was a long and loud note held for an ungoddessly long time. Ryu drew her jagged scimitar.
"Get a move on, maggots! Let's ravage these bastards like salted earth!" She shouted. There was a roar, and the Ravager army began to advance out from the portal between worlds.
.
She watched all of this with a combination of bemusement and disdain. So the Twili princess hadn't been killed off by the rampant Bokoblins running through the fields, and had currently summoned up herself an army of the undead to do battle. And, to complicate things, it would seem that she had been followed through the portal by Lana and that disgusting horde of low-lifes led by their equally disgusting leader. She smirked, remembering how he'd screamed when she electrocuted him from the inside out. Though she wondered how it was that he had survived, being hit square in the chest by black lightning* and all, in the end she decided not to spend too much time pondering it. Perhaps it would be best to take care of her backup plan.
She gave a little laugh as she summoned up a portal to the Twilight Realm*. Zant would no doubt need to know that that pathetic little girl calling herself princess had survived, and that he'd best fortify his castle. After all, what good is a Usurper King if he is removed form power almost as soon as he's usurped it? She stepped through the portal, and began her walk between worlds.
The other matter was not a laughing one. She'd heard reports from those of her forces that had survived the realm of the Sky that her darling baby Link had been…harmed. And that Volga had not stopped that loose cannon Ghirahim from doing it. Cia felt a wave of warm rage spill over her, both reinvigorating and infuriating her at the same time. There were consequences for those that didn't follow orders.
Especially if it involved her beloved in harm's way.
.
Lana slammed her Deku spear down on the head of a Stalmaster, breaking the body into several useless pieces, when she heard a roar. Turning to her right, she saw the Ravager army racing over a gently rolling hill on the horizon towards the fight. They looked like a bloodthirsty horde, screaming and whooping and raising their weapons high above their heads. She saw the Bokoblins start to set up a defense, think better of it, and then straight-up retreat. This would do them no good. Bokoblins are quick, but Ravagers are quicker. The truly amazing thing, though, was the reaction of the Stalchild army. Stalchildren and Stalmasters were simply reanimated bones. They were conditioned to be emotionless, soulless, killing machines. After all, there was no mind or soul left in these bodies to control them and give them context.
And yet, as the Goddesses were her witness, the Stalchild soldiers were dropping their weapons and fleeing for their undead lives.
It didn't save them.
There was a terrible scream. Lana watched in shock and awe as what appeared to be a massive orange arm that rose up into the air and swatted away Stalchildren, Bokoblins, and several unfortunate Ravagers. The hand snapped back, began to shrink, and came to rest behind the mask of that imp creature. It took Lana a few moments to realize that that extendable arm was in fact the creature's hair. She didn't know what kind of magic that could possibly involve, and didn't want to know.
"Useless, useless, USELESS! I have that witch right where I want her and she slips through my fingers!" The imp was shouting. She snarled, and held the Goddess Butterfly in her palm. "Fat lot of good you did, you little tinkerbell. I oughta squash you like the little bug you are!"
"No, please don't!" Agitha pleaded from her perch on Meathook's shoulder. "Goddess Butterflies are incredibly rare, and they never harm a soul. Please don't touch her, miss kitty!"
"KITTY?!" The imp creature shrieked. Her resting smug face had now given way to wide-eyed offense, and she hissed at Agitha. "How dare you insult royalty, you little brat! Why, I think I'm gonna crush this thing right in front of-"
She was cut off by the realization that a dagger was being pointed at her throat from point-blank range, the tip gently poking her neck. She sighed, and yawned dramatically.
"Y'know, I could just kill you now, but I'm more impressed by the fact that you completely snuck up on me despite being the size of two Gorons…so, I'll give you one word. Then I kill you. And your little butterfly, too."
"Parley." Ishaka said, his expression stone-cold as he held the knife at her throat. The imp raised its eyebrow in surprise, and turned to look at the man holding it at knifepoint (though taking care not to stab herself).
"Not bad, hairball." She said. The imp-like creature took a moment to look over Ishaka's beard and hair, both of which were growing back in full force. "I give you one word in a figurative manner and you use maybe the one word that literally is relevant. Though why would I want to parlay with a bunch of people I don't know? What leverage do you have?"
Ishaka didn't say anything. He simply whistled sharply. The Ravagers all let out a series of howls and screams, making a sound so terrible and mighty that Agitha plugged her ears in fear and Lana winced. The imp looked around, and shrugged.
"Okay, not bad. But I can summon countless Stalchildren, so it's kind of a wash."
"So we bein' parlay'n." Ishaka said. "Eq'al terms, no?"
"You are clearly not a well-read man, otherwise you'd know that you never parlay with someone you don't truly understand." She smirked. "They might just be playing you in the end."
"An' you clearly don' know a Rav'ger." Ishaka countered. "Cuz I be th' one wit' th' knife at yer throat."
"Touche." The imp said. She rolled her eyes. "I can't believe I'm doing this, but what could you possibly wish to parlay with me about."
"Can we at least clarify something?" Lana asked. She stepped forward from the ranks, walking out into the open. "You said that you're fighting…a witch?"
"YES!" The imp snarled. Her eyes got wide again, with her pupils practically shrinking to pinpricks. "That hag cursed me to look like this. Again! Do you have any idea what it is like to be like this…after having it fixed already?"
"I don't see what is the matter." Agitha said quietly to Meathook. "She's a cute kitty, don't you think?"
Meathook made a rumbling sort of noise, and nodded sagely in agreement.
"Well, what was the name of the witch?" Lana asked. The imp snarled some more.
"Cia. That lady waltzes right into my castle, with a bunch of my brain-dead guards following her with their tongues wagging thanks to that outfit (or lack thereof) she was wearing…before she promptly kills 'em, turns me into this, and then casts me out of my own kingdom!" She was floating in the air still, but now stood ramrod straight. "My name is Midna, Princess of the Twilight Realm. And mark my words, I'll have my revenge on that hussie!"
Lana took a deep breath. This next bit was going to cause a reaction. Well, there was no other way to do it other than go for the truth.
"Um…we're fighting Cia too." She said. "In fact, that Goddess Butterfly was trying to take us to her when…you took it."
There was a long pause. Midna stared at Ishaka, her expression a combination of blank and stupification.
"She's joking." It wasn't a question so much as it was an incredulous statement, completely flat in delivery. Ishaka just shook his head.
Midna kept looking at him, and then glanced at Lana.
"YOU SHOULD HAVE LED WITH THAT!" Midna shouted, with enough force that it nearly knocked Ishaka over. She was wildly shaking her arms in exasperation. "That trollop and I have unfinished business. Oh, if only I'd known that you were actually on my side, we could've killed her in, like, five minutes tops!"
"You didn't give us a chance!" Lana countered. "You straight up kidnapped the Goddess Butterfly and then told your forces to kill us!"
"Well, I wouldn't have done that if you'd told me why you were here in the first place: oh look at that, you didn't!" Midna said.
"Why is miss Lana arguing with the kitty?" Agitha asked Meathook. Meathook just shrugged.
"LADIES, PLEASE!" Ishaka barked. "Yer both pretty, now zip it!" He said. He glanced at Midna. "Yeh seem'd a mite too 'appy ta kill us when yeh 'ad th' chance." He turned to Lana and shrugged. "We di'n't do th' best o' jobs in tellin' 'er why we was 'ere, though." He sheathed his knife. "Th' way I sees it, le's jes' put this all b'hind us, an' focus on th' importan' thing."
"That being?" Midna asked. Ishaka shrugged, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
"Witch huntin'!"
The Ravager army roared in approval, and even Midna smirked.
"I don't know where you found this one, sorcery girl…but I like his sense of humor." She said.
"Yeah…it's the best." Lana said, looking somewhat ambivalent.
Only Ishaka caught the hint of sadness in her eyes. Something was bugging her. Something that she wasn't telling them. And deep in his guy, Ishaka had an awful feeling that they were going to find out Lana's secret soon for better or for worse.
A/N: Another one in the books! Hope you enjoyed reading this chapter as much as I had writing it. A few points:
I removed the "break the twilight realms to weaken Midna!" mechanic from the game. The whole point of their squabble was on poor communication. If I'd stuck to my guns, there'd be a lot of dead Ravagers and Stalchildren and that would be pointless. See my thoughts in the Author's Notes for the first arc of Act II, when I changed things up for the Goron mission. So, instead of option A I created option B: a chance for parlay. I think I've watched Pirates of the Caribbean a little too much.
I had way too much fun writing Agitha. There was something delightfully twisted about the fact that she doesn't seem to realize that she's in the middle of a war zone, or that she does realize this and that it's all a great bit of fun for her. Good grief.
I've been waiting fifteen chapters to write that "kitty" line from Agitha. And Midna's reaction.
I'm sure we'll see Cia's reaction to finding out about Link's rather gruesome injuries soon enough. I would feel bad for Volga when I think of what she could do to him, and then I remembered that he's a vain, racist prick. So fuck him.
Oh God, is Zant gonna be fun to write.
Thanks again for reading, and as always reviews are much appreciated. Till next time!
HYRULIAN CODEX
Goddess Butterflies – Goddess Butterflies are mysterious and near-mythical creatures. Incredibly rare, they are distinguished by their blue wings and the strange light that glows from them. The stories about these fantastic little beasts and where to find them are many and so far few can be proven, but the best story is this: they only appear to someone that is pure of heart, and will gladly listen to your request provided you ask it nicely. Of course, if a Goddess Butterfly is captured midway through its request, it will switch allegiances to whomever has captured it with no resistance. Fables say that this is a bit of fickleness on the parts of the Goddesses: If mortals relied on little cheats like this, then they would never learn anything. Others say that it is probably closer to the fact that Goddess Butterflies are very gentle and trustworthy creatures, and perhaps they've simply confused the new requestor for their first and pure master.
White/Black Lightning – So White Magic and Black Magic have different schools of thinking and thought, so too do they have different approaches to the concept of magical lightning. A very advanced form of magic, lightning can be expelled from the fingertips, the palms, and in rare occasions from the mouth. However, from there the differences emerge. White Magic is at its core a school of defensive and preventative magic, designed to either defend others or stop a fight from getting out of hand. Thus, it is rarely fatal to be hit by White Lightning…but it is still painful. There are rumors of "pure" White Lightning dubbed "Electric Judgment," but there is little to go on as to what this is and how adept one has to be to use it.
Black Lightning is laughably simple. It is drawn from the dark impulses of Black Magic, a primarily aggressive and preemptive form of magic. These bolts don't just hurt, they dig deep into the very essence of a person, causing them excruciating pain and a miserable death from prolonged exposure. Understandably, Black Lightning comes from an explicit desire to cause pain and suffering unto others, and is often cast by magicians that are sadistic in nature. Similar to the mythical "Electric Judgment," there is an infamous form of Black Lightning that is so dark it becomes red that is simply dubbed "Reaper's Hand." A wry joke told by Black Magicians is this: If you see Red, you're already dead.
The Twilight Realm – A mysterious place on the flipside of Hyrule during the Era of Twilight. The attacks of a Usurper to the Twilight Throne caused the line between realms to blur, ultimately leaving it to a Hero to put down the darkness and help restore order to the realms. This Hero was accompanied by the de-throned Princess of Twilight, who was fighting both to reclaim her throne as well as the growing affection she gained towards the selfless Hero that fought alongside her. It is a favorite tale of many a historian, though most children's tales do not feature an adaptation. Why is this? For the legendarily sad ending: after sealing the darkness away forever, the Twilight Princess was restored to her throne. She thanked the Hero and his Princess for their help in restoring her to the throne…and then promptly shattered the link between worlds permanently. Despite extensive research into records and tales, no one is able to discern if the Hero of Twilight was ever able to reunite with his dear friend. One can only imagine that she mourned the loss as much as he did.