Dakota:
WHENEVER I SEE SOMEONE LESS FORTUNATE THAN I
AND LET'S FACE IT... WHO ISN'T
LESS FORTUNATE THAN I?
MY TENDER HEART TENDS TO START TO BLEED
AND WHEN SOMEONE NEEDS A MAKEOVER
I SIMPLY HAVE TO TAKEOVER
I KNOW I KNOW
EXACTLY WHAT THEY NEED
AND EVEN IN YOUR CASE...
THOUGH IT'S THE TOUGHEST CASE I'VE YET TO FACE!
DON'T WORRY! I'M DETERMINED TO SUCCEED
FOLLOW MY LEAD
AND YES INDEED
YOU
WILL
BE...
POPULAR!
YOU'RE GONNA BE POPULAR
I'LL TEACH THE PROPER PLOYS
WHEN YOU TALK TO BOYS
LITTLE WAYS TO FLIRT AND FLOUNCE (SQUEALS)
I'LL SHOW YOU WHAT SHOES TO WEAR
HOW TO FIX YOUR HAIR
EVERYTHING THAT REALLY COUNTS TO BE POPULAR
I KNOW ABOUT POPULAR
AND WITH AN ASSIST FROM ME
TO BE WHO YOU'LL BE
INSTEAD OF DREARY WHO YOU WERE...
WELL ARE...
THERE'S NOTHING THAT CAN STOP YOU
FROM BECOMING POPULER...
LAR!
LA LA LA LA
WE'RE GONNA MAKE YOU POPULAR!
WHEN I SEE DEPRESSING CREATURES
WITH UNPREPOSSESSING FEATURES,
I REMIND THEM ON THEIR OWN BEHALF
TO THINK OF
CELEBRATED HEADS OF STATE
OR ESPECIALLY GREAT COMMUNICATORS
DID THEY HAVE BRAINS OR KNOWLEDGE?
DON'T MAKE ME LAUGH!
THEY WERE POPULAR
PLEASE, IT'S ALL ABOUT POPULAR
IT'S NOT ABOUT APTITUDE
IT'S THE WAY YOU'RE VIEWED
SO IT'S VERY SHREWD TO BE
VERY VERY POPULAR
LIKE ME!
Heather: This is never going to work!
Dakota: Oh Elphie, you mustn't think that way anymore! Your whole life is going to change... and all because of me. Okay, stand... I will turn your frock into a beautiful ball gown! Stand up...She Picks Up Her Wand And Waves It. Ball gown! Nothing Happens, So She Repeats. Ball gown! Still Nothing Happens. She Taps Her Wand On The Bed. Is this thing on?
Heather: Do you want me to try?
Dakota: No, I've got it! She Throws The Wand Down. Oh, just wear the frock... it's pretty! Now, I'll show you how to flip your hair: Flip flip. Or you could use your hand. Demonstrates. Or, you can use your whole body. Falls onto bed. Squeals. Now, for the finishing touch. Takes flower out of her hair, puts it into Elphaba's. Why, Miss Elphaba, look at you, you're beautiful. Hands her the mirror.
Heather: After Looking In The Mirror. I... I have to go.
She Runs Off.
Dakota: You're Welcome! She Admires Herself In The Mirror.
AND THOUGH YOU PROTEST
YOUR DISINTEREST,
I KNOW CLANDESTINELY...
YOU'RE GONNA GRIN AND BEAR IT
YOUR NEW FOUND POPULARITY! (SQUEALS)
LA LA LA LA
YOU'LL BE POPULAR!
JUST NOT QUITE AS POPULAR
AS ME!