A/N: Thank you all for being so patient. For a while, I wasn't able to get my ideas flowing, and once I did, we had tornadoes to come through the area last week and I was without internet service for five days. Thank God that all else was well for my family during the storms. Thanks again!

(Chapter Six)

After five hours of sleep interrupted by unwanted dreams, Dee Dee awoke to find that she was alone in bed and recalled that it wasn't due to Alex being away on business. She sighed with a heavy heart and pulled the collar of his robe up to rest against her jawline, and then pulled her son's teddy bear to her chest again. The actions offered some comfort, but not enough as she felt the tension growing by the second.

She sat up and suddenly felt as if her head weighed as much as a five pound bag of sugar. She could feel the tightness around her swollen eyes, her nose was stuffed and her head and ears throbbed with pain. She slowly flipped the covers back, stood and went into the bathroom to wash her face and brush her teeth before heading downstairs. Seeing her face in the mirror proved that the swelling around her eyes was indeed there and would most likely remain for a while.

She moved quietly upstairs as not to disturb her mother, and as well as downstairs to keep from waking Rick. The sun hadn't yet made an appearance as it was quite early. The darkness and quietness in the house was a bit unsettling, but she continued on to her task and flipped on the kitchen light, opted for a cup of tea, and sat quietly at the kitchen counter. The steam from the cup offered minor soothing affect to the swelling in her face, but it was of no help in soothing her suffering. Within a few hours, she would be choosing the clothing for her husband and baby to wear during the first of two ceremonies to allow everyone to say goodbye to them. A couple of days later, she'd be in back in the states to do it all over again. She wanted to be fair to everyone, to make sure all were able to pay their respects, but wondered if she'd taken on too much for herself.

Her thoughts were interrupted by running water from the faucet in the downstairs guest bathroom, and a few moments later, Rick came into the kitchen.

"Good morning." He greeted.

She looked up and saw him standing in front of her in a pair of shorts and t-shirt. "Morning". She replied softly.

Rick moved toward the coffeemaker. "Do you mind?"

"No. Go ahead."

He switched on the machine to make enough for Anna as well. He could see that Dee Dee was still very much exhausted and drained, but made no comment about it in particular. "Did you get much sleep?"

"I slept some. Dreams...nightmares kept waking me."

"Some sleep is better than none, I guess." Rick leaned over and put his forearms on the counter and clasped his hands. He wanted to comfort Dee Dee, but he felt helpless and unsure of what to do or say. Seeing her in Alex's oversized robe made her look even smaller and more fragile, making his heart ache even more for her. He noted that she held AJ's teddy bear on her lap. "Can I get you some breakfast?"

"No, thanks."

"Okay." Rick turned to pour himself a cup of a coffee.

Anna was now awake and saw that the sun was just starting to peek through the hazy London sky. She freshened up a bit and went down the hall to her daughter's room and found it empty. When she didn't find her in AJ's room, she moved downstairs and heard movement in the kitchen.

"How long have you two been up?" She greeting Dee Dee with a kiss on the forehead and a hug.

"About an hour." Dee Dee answered.

"Fifteen minutes or so." Rick replied.

"Anyone up for something to eat? I can make breakfast or we can eat some of the leftovers." Anna stated.

They both looked to Dee Dee in hopes that she would accept the offer.

"No, thanks." She answered.

"You need something, Dee Dee." Rick tried to encourage her. "Maybe some toast."

"I said, no." Dee Dee replied in frustration.

Anna looked to Rick as she felt disappointment in her daughter. She turned her attention back to Dee Dee."Maybe in a little while before we have to leave."

Dee Dee remained silent as she made a second cup of tea.

Anna proceeded to make a light breakfast so that she and Rick could eat. She hoped that once Dee Dee could smell the food, she would change her mind and join them. The plan failed. While Rick and Anna engaged in small-talk, Dee Dee took her cup upstairs.

Rick put his arm around Anna's shoulders. "It'll all take time. She's strong and I believe she'll be okay."

"I hope you're right. I don't know how I'd fair in her shoes."

Dee Dee sat in bed and finished her tea, wishing she could erase the horror from her memory...from existence. She felt the dread of the upcoming events for her family and was overwhelmed. She placed the cup on the nightstand and lay down and cried. Nearly a half an hour later, she pulled herself together in order to prepare for the day. She needed to get herself dressed, pick out what she'd have Alex and AJ wear, and get set to leave for today's viewing. She placed her son's teddy bear on the bed and allowed Alex's robe to slip from her body and placed it on the bed as well. She then moved to Alex's closet. Looking at his clothes was hard to bear, and she knew it wouldn't be any easier when having to do the same in her baby's closet. When she couldn't decide on something for Alex, she moved to AJ's room and had no luck there.

She sat on her son's bed and sobbed in anger and distress.

Her mother had come upstairs and heard. "Can I do something to help?"

"I don't know what...to choose for...them to wear, mom. I just...don't know." Dee Dee heaved a ragged sigh and continued to cry. "Do I choose something...for today and something different...for the actual funerals, or let them wear...the same thing for both days. What do I do? I don't know anything about planning a..." She broke down even more.

Anna pulled her into her arms and tried to console her. "You do whatever you want, honey."

"That's the problem! I don't know what to do!"

"All I can do is suggest something." Anna began. "What about having them wear the suits you bought for their birthdays for the actual funeral, and we'll find something really nice for today."

Dee Dee gained a bit of composure. "I did intend for them to wear their gifts for the burial. I just wasn't sure about today. Everything is in such a rush. The funeral director needs the clothes in an hour." She sniffled. "Thank God he was nice enough give us until today."

"It was very kind of him." Anna added. "Why don't we go head and get started, okay?"

"Okay." Dee Dee wiped her tears and pushed her hair behind her ears before moving to her baby's closet. She searched through dozens of outfits, each one bringing memories and sadness to her heart, but she pressed on. "I love this outfit. He looked so precious in it." The outfit consisted of khaki dress-shorts, a short-sleeved khaki and baby blue seersucker shirt and a matching baby blue t-shirt underneath. She turned to show it to her mother.

"I love it, too. It's from your family portraits a couple of months ago, and you were all in matching outfits." Anna recalled with a tear in her eye. "I think it'll be perfect."

"I think so, too. They can be dressed alike again." Dee Dee took a seat on the bed and ran her hand along her son's shirt. She remembered how photo-shoot had been a great one. Her two men wore identical outfits, and she wore a knee-length khaki sarong wrap-skirt, and a sleeveless white and baby blue seersucker blouse. All were barefoot in various poses on white silk fabric, with a matching white silk backdrop. AJ loved the session. He laughed at the silly poses, the sensation of the silk on his feet, and most of all during a moment when both parents tickled him as instructed by the photographer. They all had the most amazingly happy expressions captured in that candid shot.

Dee Dee allowed a faint smile to appear through her worried expression at the thought. "I think I'll wear my skirt and top today, too." Anna agreed to the idea.

When they had finished gathering the items needed for father and son, Anna took everything downstairs for Rick to take to the funeral parlor. She felt a sense of relief at knowing one of Dee Dee's tasks for the day had been done. Though Dee Dee always kept the house in great order, Anna needed to occupy her mind and went into the den to put the few crayons and sheets of paper on her grandson's little desk back into the storage box. She shed a few tears while doing so, remembering that her little grandson would no longer hold any of the crayons or toys he loved so dearly, and that she would never be able to send him any others on special occasions, or "just because". She dried her eyes and moved into the living room to freshen up the carpet to rid it of the imprints left by the guests footprints the day before.

As soon as Rick finished getting dressed for the day, he went upstairs to see if he could be of help to Dee Dee. When she heard him knock, she was hesitant to answer, but told him to come in. He found her in bed, lying on her side facing away from him with the covers pulled up to her waist.

"Mind if I sit down for a bit?"

"No." She answered simply.

"I just wanted to check on you before I run an errand. Is it okay if I use your car?"

"Yeah. The keys by my purse on the dresser."

At any other time, Dee Dee may have joked about Rick driving her car, especially with him driving in London, but the circumstances had taken hold of her humor. He truly wanted to wrap his arms around her, but wasn't sure if it was what she wanted.

"Dee Dee, I want to help you if I can. I'm worried about you."

"I appreciate your concern." She said without looking at him.

Rick felt that she was starting to pull away from him, emotionally. He couldn't bear it if she did. He knew he couldn't bring her family back, but he would try anything to help heal her heart.

"Do you want to try to sleep before we have to leave? Maybe take a half dose of your medication?"

"No."

"Okay." Rick stood to leave, but stopped to ask a question. "Is it okay if I give you a hug?"

Dee Dee sat up slowly, and Rick felt better knowing that she would allow it. She returned the action, but within a few seconds, she loosened her grip and began to pull away. Without any comment about it, Rick sighed and moved from the bed as Dee Dee lay back down. "I'll see you in a little while. Get some rest." With that, he left her to be alone.

"How is she?" Anna asked when he entered the living room.

"I'm not sure." Rick hesitated with his thoughts. "She didn't say much and she barely let me hug her. She actually pulled away from me after a moment." His heart sank a little more at the thought of such actions from her increasing.

"She's probably confused about how she feels."

"Maybe."

- – -

Dee Dee remained in bed for a few hours, never falling asleep as the reminders from the accident, plus all events that followed kept her alert. It was nearly 11:30am and she was annoyed by the phone calls that had been coming in since 9am. She'd unplugged the phone in her room, but could hear the one in the guest room. She pulled herself from bed, showered and chose to wear a pair of yellow hooded lounging pajamas until it was time to dress for the wake. When she arrived downstairs, she saw that her mother had changed into a pale green dress and was just hanging up the phone to answer the door. Evelyn and Neil each greeted her with hugs and kisses as Dee Dee watched from the staircase. She loved her family and the few friends she had, but dreaded the idea of having to go through the same motions over and over... "How are you holding up?, "Are you eating?, "Are you sleeping?, "We're so sorry.", "They're in a better place.", and so on. She hated it all. Sure, people meant well, but it was too much to take at times and she knew that she'd have to deal with it even more once they returned to LA.

When Neil and Evelyn saw her, she moved down the stairs to meet them.

"Can I do anything for you?" Neil asked.

"Nothing, thanks." Dee Dee went into the kitchen for a glass of juice for herself, and her mother was finally able to persuade her to eat two slices of toast. When she finished, she returned to the living room to join her family and wait until it was time to leave for the funeral parlor.

Mark's rental car pulled up in front of the house at the same time as Charlie's taxi, both arriving just minutes before Rick returned. They all sat and talked about various topics, trying to keep the mood light, but all noted that Dee Dee continued to look lost within her sadness, barely speaking a word to anyone. She excused herself and went out the backdoor to sit at the small patio table. Rick immediately followed and tried to talk to her, but she never looked up at him. He felt it was best to leave her alone and went back inside.

An hour before it was time to leave, Mark went out to let Dee Dee know that she could start to get ready. Rick watched from the kitchen window and saw that she didn't protest when Mark took a seat next to her. They talked for about five minutes, and then Dee Dee broke down in tears. Mark slowly put his arms around and Dee Dee put her head against his chest. Once again, Rick felt that Dee Dee was somehow upset with him, considering the difference in behavior when it came to Mark

and him. Mark had been there to support her from the start, so why wouldn't she be thankful? But there seemed to be something more. She knew that he would have been there for her if he could have. It couldn't have been helped. Surely she couldn't be angry about that, could she?

(Continued...)