(Chapter Fourteen)

Just as Mark and Rick hung up, Dee Dee entered the kitchen.

With her hair in a ponytail and wearing a yellow pajama short-set, he noted that she looked ten to fifteen years younger that she truly was, and though it was obvious that she was still somewhat tired, it didn't take anything away from her beauty. He wondered if anything could take away from it.

"Good morning." She greeted.

"Morning. Did you sleep okay?"

"Other than waking up twice, I did okay."

"I'm glad you did as well as that." Mark smiled and sipped his coffee.

"Hey, I..." Dee Dee sighed and placed her hand over Mark's. "I want to thank you again for being there for me last night."

"You're welcome, but I told you that you don't have to thank me."

"I know. It's just that..."

"Let me guess." Mark interrupted with a smile. "It's just that you're a very polite person?"

The beginning of a smile appeared on Dee Dee's face. "Yeah, I try to be."

"I appreciate your gratitude, but like I said, I'm going to be there for you, okay?"

Dee Dee nodded. "Okay."

"Do you want me to make you some breakfast?"

"No, thanks. I can manage." Dee Dee poured herself a bowl of cereal. "What are your plans for today?"

"I think I'll work on that song." Mark frowned. "I probably won't get anywhere."

"That piece is really bothering you, isn't it?"

"Yes, it is. I can't get past that part for the piano that you heard last night."

"You'll get it."

"I hope so. What about you? What are you planning for today?"

"I don't know." Dee Dee replied. "I might hang out around the pool or watch a movie...maybe just sleep. In case I do decide to swim, I'd like to borrow one of your cars to go shopping for a suit and a few other things."

"No problem, just help yourself. You know where the keys are."

"I appreciate it. Has my mom called?"

"No, she hasn't."

"I'm surprised. I guess I'll call her before I get ready to leave."

"Okay. I think I'll go ahead and mess around with that song for a few minutes."

The two talked for a few moments more and then left the kitchen to tend to their duties.

"Hello?"

"Hi, mom."

"Hi, sweetheart." Anna sighed with relief at hearing her daughter's voice. "How are you feeling?"

"Tired." Dee Dee replied softly as she sat on the bed. "How are you?"

"I'm okay. Glad to hear your voice. Did you not sleep well?"

"Not really, but that's normal." Dee Dee sighed. "It's the only thing that is normal in my life, lately."

Unsure of how to respond, Anna moved on to her next question. "Do you know how long you'll stay?"

"No, I don't. Mark says I can stay for as long and I want. I'm taking him up on that offer."

"Okay. Well, would you like to meet for lunch or dinner?"

"I appreciate the gesture, but I'd just like to take today and rest. I'm leaving here in a minute to get a few things that I need from the store, then I'll be back to relax."

"I see." Anna replied with disappointment. "Well, whatever you feel is best."

"Thanks. I should be going. I'll talk to you later."

"Okay. I love you."

"I love you, too."

Dee Dee chose to drive Mark's candy apple red Corvette to run her errands. With the the top down, she felt a slight sense of freedom, similar to how she felt when she and Mark drove for a while before arriving at his home the night before, but her distress was still very much present. She hoped that the trip to the mall would alleviate some of it, and though she was happy to find two swimsuits with matching sarongs, other articles of clothing and a few other necessities, she felt her heart sink as she came upon a store specializing in children's clothing. Two particular items in the display window was a boy's white sailor suit, and a newborn baby girl's sailor dress, both with matching berets. Though she'd never forget the moment, it was a harsh reminder of her baby boy and the day he wore a very similar suit...the last suit he'd ever wear. She also thought of how if she had actually been pregnant at this time, she may have a daughter who could wear the little dress, but as the test proved, there was no chance of that happening.

She felt her heart racing as she fought to keep her tears from falling. Finding the nearest restroom; thankful that it was completely empty, she locked herself inside a stall and cried as softly as possible so not to draw attention to herself in case someone came in.

After a few moments, she silently willed herself to calm down and as the seconds went by, she gradually made some progress. She dried her tears and exited the stall with her bags to check her appearance. To her surprise, the very little eyeliner she had applied was still intact, so she freshened her lipstick and then headed for the nearest exit out of the mall.

– – –

It had been over three hours since Rick called to check on Dee Dee and his concentration hadn't improved. When he got the call about a lead on the Harkins case, he tried to focus on the task of getting to the destination and finding more on what he was looking for. He was even more aggravated after making the twenty minute drive to find that the informant decided not to show up after all.

Though his appetite wasn't at its best, he knew that he needed something to help get him through the rest of the day, but before he could think anymore about food, he wanted to try and find out more about Dee Dee.

– – –

"Rick. Come in."

"Hi, Anna. Have you heard from her?"

Anna asked Rick to sit down. "Yes, just a little while ago."

"How is she?"

"I really don't know. She didn't say much; just that she was tired, hadn't slept well and would be staying at Mark's for a while."

Rick exhaled sharply. "I called Mark this morning and he didn't give me much to go on, either. I did ask him not to tell her that I called. I didn't want to upset her."

Anna nodded. "How have you been holding up?"

"Not too great. You?"

"It's been rough. I can't believe that my grandchild and son-in-law are gone, and I can't seem to help my daughter through the pain."

Rick's heart ached for Anna, knowing that she was hurting so deeply. "I wish I could do something to help you."

"You've done a lot, Rick. I do appreciate you for it."

"I'm glad to have done something right." Rick lowered his head as his thoughts returned to how Dee Dee felt about him. "I still can't get past the idea of her thinking that I deliberately hurt her." His voice cracked. "I honestly thought I was doing the right thing. I thought she wanted to sort things out with Alex one way or another."

"I know you did."

"I thought that if things didn't work out between them, she'd divorce him and she and I would be together."

"I know. You had her best interest at heart."

"I really did. I wanted her to decide for herself, though I knew she wasn't happy with him." Rick expelled a ragged sigh. "I still didn't want to cause her any more pain or confusion by flat-out telling her not to ever go back."

"I understand." Anna replied. "I think that she was really confused about everything that she had or wanted to have with you as well as with Alex."

"I suppose. I just feel so guilty for not sparing her so much pain. Now that she hates me..." The words caught in Rick's throat. "She hates me and I may never be able to help her."

Anna looked toward the window. "Is that a car driving up?"

Rick stood and looked out. He realized that he was in trouble and caught himself before cursing out loud. "It's Dee Dee."

He and Anna braced themselves for what they expected to be a very upsetting moment for Dee Dee.

Before Dee Dee could use her key, Anna opened the door. "Hi, sweetie."

"Hi." Dee Dee hugged her mother as Rick watch quietly from the sofa.

"Are you here to visit for a while?" Anna asked as they parted.

"No. I'm just here to pick up a few things." Dee Dee looked toward Rick and then back to Anna with a glint of anger in her eyes. "I saw his car and I almost didn't stop. Then I thought, this is my mother's house and I have every right to be here. He doesn't."

Anna pursed her lips before answering. "He only stopped by to see how you were."

Dee Dee turned to Rick. "I don't need you to check up on me! What I need is for you to leave me the hell alone!" She hurried up the stairs.

Rick stood and looked to Anna. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to cause trouble. I'll go, now."

"It's okay." Anna replied. "You didn't know she'd come by."

Rick nodded. "Call me if you need me for anything."

"I will." Anna placed her had on Rick's arm. "I'll also call to let you know how she is."

"Thank you." Rick answered gratefully as he headed for the door. "You take care."

"You, too."

Rick sat in his car for a few moments, wishing that he could have talked to Dee Dee, to make her understand that he never meant to hurt her, but there would be no way she'd listen to him at this moment.

As he drove off, feeling much worse than he did before leaving his desk, he decided to call Charlie and ask for the rest of the day off. He explained that the lead was a failure and that he hadn't gotten any closer than he'd been since they last spoke. Charlie had no problem with granting the request. He knew that Rick had been on an emotionally charged rollercoaster since Dee Dee lost her family and that he needed time for himself, too.

Rick went straight home and changed into a t-shirt and a pair shorts and headed out to the beach for a walk. He stood and looked out at the water, thinking that if Dee Dee's suffering could be measured, maybe the immensity of the ocean could be a starting guide. Taking time to find shelter from the sun, he sat beneath the pier in the cooler sand, watching the surfers and sailboats take on the waves.

At the moment, he preferred to be alone, but at the same time, he never felt so alone and so lost within himself.

A broken heart can do that do a person.

(Continued...)