(Chapter Fifteen)
As Dee Dee drove back to Mark's home, she hoped that music would offer a distraction from the earlier events, and though the car stereo provided great sound quality, it didn't keep her mind fully drawn away from her worries.
Anna's home, approximately two hours earlier -
With her heart pounding from anger at Rick, Dee Dee hurried the gather the things she came for so she could quickly return to her safe haven. It was hard enough for her to break down at the mall, but then having to confront her mother and Rick only added to her misery.
She never imagined that such betrayal would come from him, and the pain he'd inflicted upon her was something she knew would never heal. Her thoughts were interrupted by Anna calling to her.
With a sigh of frustration, she answered. "Yes?"
"You had a phone call earlier." Anna entered the room. "It was Arnold James. He wanted to know how you were, and left a number for you to call him."
Dee Dee nodded without looking up. "I'll call him later."
Anna watched as her daughter rush to get her things. "Are you okay?"
Dee Dee stopped and stared at her mother for a few seconds. "Why would you ask me something like that? Would you be okay?"
Anna sat on the bed and sighed out of guilt and disappointment. "I don't guess I know what to say or do, anymore. This is hard for me, too...to see my child suffering and to know that I can't help her."
Dee Dee felt her own pang of guilt and sat beside her mother. "Mom, I'm sorry if I'm hurting your feelings, but you have to realize that I'm going through hell. I have to try to get through it in the best way that I know how. If that means blowing up at someone every-so-often, you all just have to bear with me. I've never hurt like this in my life." Tears began to form in her eyes. "This is something that no one can tell me exactly how to get through because they're not me. Even if I had an identical twin sister and we both experienced the same loss, she and I wouldn't suffer in the exact same way. I need to do what I need to do for me."
"I understand." Anna caught a tear trailing her own cheek. "It's just so hard for me because I really do want to help you."
"Then just let me do what I need to do, and when I need you to be there for me, just be there."
"Okay, I'll do my best." Anna heaved a sigh and stood to leave.
Dee Dee wiped her tears. "Mom?"
"Yes?"
"I do love you and I appreciate that you want to help me."
"I know, and I love you, too." Mother and daughter embraced before Anna left.
Dee Dee continued gathering her items while fighting to keep her emotions intact.
She was thankful that she and her mother had grown closer over the past few years, but she still felt that Anna still didn't truly understand her and never would. She had promised herself and AJ that she would be a much better mother than Anna had been, and that she would put her child before anything and anyone. Anna hadn't done that as Dee Dee grew up and it affected her deeply. She knew that she hadn't been a planned child as her parents weren't married at the time, and if not for Anna's pregnancy, they may not have married at all or at least not as early as they did. She often felt that her parents, especially her mother regretted the decisions to keep her and/or to marry. She always carried that inside her heart, never knowing the exact truth of the matter and it was a dreadfully painful situation to be in.
Anna had every opportunity to love and to raise her child unconditionally, but chose not to, putting her life as a socialite first and criticizing Dee Dee at every turn for the things that made her happy, but not Anna. Though Dee Dee had promised to do this for her child, the time had now ended for her to do. She sat on the bed and thought of how unfair it was for a woman to have a child with her for over thirty years and to never really love her as she should have, and for another to have her child for only two years and to love him beyond belief, knowing from the moment he was conceived, that she would die for him at any given moment. How can she and her mother be so different when it came to their children? Apparently, it was due to one wanting her child and the other not wanting her child. The thoughts created a sickening churning in the pit of her stomach.
The more she thought of it, the more she hurt and wanted to hurry away from the house.
A few minutes later, she headed for the front door and called to Anna who was in the den.
"Mom, I'm leaving! I'll see you later!" She put her bags down to open the door and Anna caught up to her.
"Okay. Are you sure I can't..." Anna caught herself before finishing.
Dee Dee, knowing that her mother was about to repeat the same question, released a sigh in aggravation. "I've gotta go." She quickly exited the house and hurried to the car.
Dee Dee keyed in the security code to gain access through the gate leading to Mark's house. Before driving through, she took a deep breath and tried to shake off some of the tension. As she pulled into the garage, Mark was on his way out to help her.
"I saw you at the gate on the monitor." He told her.
"Oh, okay." Dee Dee replied simply.
"Is something wrong?" Mark asked. "I hope you know that I'm not spying on you. If I'm near the monitor, I can see anyone that drives up."
"Of course I know you're not spying." Dee Dee stated while offering a weak, but reassuring smile. "I just had a few rough moments, earlier."
"I'm sorry." Mark took the larger bags from the car. "Do you need to talk about it?"
"Maybe later." Dee Dee took the small bags and they started for the house.
"Whatever you want." Mark followed her inside and carried her bags up for her.
"Thank you." Dee Dee said to Mark. "I know I'm bringing more things in, but I swear I'm not moving in permanently."
"I know." Mark smiled. "You're here for as long as you need to be, and that's perfectly fine. I told you before, you're welcome here, and that my house is your house."
"I'll have to figure out a way to repay your generosity." Dee Dee stood on her toes to wrap her arms around Mark's neck. "You have no idea of how much I appreciate you."
"No, you don't, and yes I do." Mark gently wrapped his arms around Dee Dee's waist and held her until she slowly pulled away.
"Are you still going for your swim?" He asked.
"Not right now. I'm not really up to it at the moment."
"Okay, I'll leave you to yourself." Mark turned toward to the door and then back to Dee Dee. "Why don't you come to the studio with me? Maybe you can give me some input on that song. It'll give you a bit of a distraction."
Dee Dee thought for a second. "I'm not sure of how much help I'll be, but I'd like to see how you're coming along."
"Great."
For the first half hour, Dee Dee quietly took time to look over the equipment and some of the many albums on the shelves and was quite impressed and was now anxious to visit his music library.
With an album in her hands, she looked over her shoulder at Mark. "Making any progress?"
"Nope." Mark folded his arms.
"I'm sorry." Dee Dee replaced the album and sat beside Mark at the piano. "Do you mind if I have a look?"
"Not at all."
Mark sat quietly as he watched Dee Dee study the arrangement, hoping that she could offer some advice, though he had no idea if she knew what she was looking at or not. He just knew he needed some help. He watched as Dee Dee took a slip of paper and began writing something. "Please tell me that you've just written the rest of the song." He joked.
"Sorry to disappoint, but...no." Dee Dee smiled. "I do have a couple of suggestions, though. I hope that's okay."
"Sure it is. What have you got?" Mark took the paper and studied it for a moment. "I'll give it a try."
He began to play the part of the song that was giving him the trouble, using the note changes that Dee Dee had given him. "Hmm." He stopped and thought for a minute. "That's better than what I had. I like the way it sounds." He smiled.
"Thanks."
"No, thank you. So, are you really into writing music?"
"Well..." Dee Dee began. "I dabble. I've written a few songs, but I'm nowhere near as talented as you are."
"Why do you say that?" Mark furrowed his brow.
"Because...well, you're a writer, a musician, singer, producer...you can do it all."
"I can do all of those things, but I can't do it all in this business, though I appreciate the acknowledgment. And for the record,just because I do more than you do, doesn't mean you're not just as talented or even more talented. I'll bet if you'd take the chance, you could do just as much or more."
Dee Dee saw the sincerity in his eyes and it made her feel a bit encouraged. "Maybe. I do sing, play piano, write my own lyrics and I even tried the guitar for a while."
"You sing?" Mark asked in surprise.
"Yes. It's one of my passions." Dee Dee allowed herself to smile a bit.
"You're just full of surprises, aren't you?" Mark smiled as his interest piqued. "What types of music are you into? What types of songs do you prefer to sing and write?"
"I like classical, jazz standards, contemporary jazz, swing, R mostly the earlier Motown sound, fifties rock and roll, and rock from the seventies and eighties, to name a few."
"I don't find that surprising at all. You seem like the type to just delve in and find out what suits you in most any genre. I like that."
"Thanks. I try." Dee Dee smiled.
"Maybe you'll sing for me one day."
"I'll think about it." Dee Dee sighed. "I used to sing to my baby all the time. When he was old enough, he'd try to sing along, too. I miss that so much."
Mark saw Dee Dee's minimal smile fade. "I'm sure you do." Feeling that she could use a bit of cheering up, he made a suggestion. How about we leave this alone and go watch a movie. I just feel like being lazy right now. I've decided not to take any meetings today, so let's do this."
Dee Dee was slow to respond but nodded. "Okay. Which theater should I check for..." She caught a smile from Mark. "Oh, right. You have your own theater in the house." She giggled.
Mark laughed. "I do, but we can definitely go out if you'd rather."
"No, I really don't, but I thought I'd give it a try, but only because I'd forgotten about your theater.
I would much rather stay in."
"Great."
"I just need to make a phone call and get into something more comfortable, first."
"That's fine. I'll go start up the popcorn machine and you can meet me so we can pick out something good to watch. Maybe a comedy."
"Sounds good. I'll see you in a few minutes." Dee Dee went to her room and changed into a t-shirt and a pair of shorts and chose not to wear shoes, only socks. For a moment, she was hesitant about making the call, but felt it was necessary to talk to her old friend. She dialed the number and was surprised to get an answer on the first ring.
"Talk to me."
"Hi, Sporty. It's Dee Dee."
"McCall I'm so glad you called."
Arnold "Sporty" James replied with a slight smile. He'd always been especially fond of Dee Dee and Rick, most often calling them by their last names since the day they'd met, and he'd always told Dee Dee that she'd be "McCall", no matter what. He was the best when it came to "the word on the street" and the duo considered him a friend, not just an informant, so Dee Dee never had a problem with him calling her "McCall" when it was her last name or now that it isn't.
"Mom told me that you called. I want to thank you for all of the beautiful flowers." Dee Dee spoke of those that Sporty had delivered to the funeral and those that were sent just for her at her mother's home.
"You're very welcome." Sporty cleared his throat. "Listen, I want to apologize for not staying for the entire service and for not being at the cemetery. I just don't do well at funerals, especially when it involves a child and someone I care so much for." His words caught in his throat. "When I...I saw you enter the church, my heart broke and I almost left at that moment, but I stayed for a while. I'm just so sorry that I wasn't there for the entire time. I hope you can forgive me."
"Sporty." Dee Dee caught a tear with her fingertip. "There's nothing to forgive. I know how much you care about me and I know that these things aren't easy to deal with. I just appreciate you being there at all."
Sporty felt his heart lighten at knowing that his friend held no harsh feelings toward him. "Thank you, and you're welcome. If I can do anything for you, please let me know."
"I will."
The two talked for a few more minutes and Dee Dee gave Sporty her cell phone number. They promised to stay in touch and to meet for lunch in the near future.
When Dee Dee entered the home theater, she was impressed by the setup which was very much like a commercial setting, only much smaller. The entrance hall had a soft lighting, framed vintage movie posters along the walls, and a small self-serve concession stand, complete with various candies, a soft drink fountain and antique popcorn cart.
On the inside, there were twelve over-sized plush recliners on the elevated rows; each recliner large enough to seat two. The color-scheme was of a soft cream and rich burgundy; including the burgundy curtain which covered the large screen above the small stage.
"Hey." Mark said as he turned to see Dee Dee taking a look around. "Come on in."
"Wow. This is stunning." Dee Dee smiled as she continued down the stairs. "I love it."
"Thanks." Mark was glad to see a smile on her face. "I've always wanted my own theater, so I had one built. It's great for family and friends."
Dee Dee walked up to the stage. "Do you act along with the movies?" She giggled.
"Well, I have to. It's expected of me." Mark joked. "Actually, it's more for the kids, my brother and sisters' kids that visit. They like to put on little shows, sing, dance, you know...show off for us. Sometimes we'll use it for an audition for a potential client, you know to give them the feel of being on stage and help to loosen them up when they sing."
Dee Dee sighed as she listened to her friend's explanation. "It must be really nice to have so many friends and family around you."
"It is. I'm really blessed." Mark confessed sincerely. "Maybe one day I'll have my own, you know?" He thought about what he'd said as soon as he'd said it. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean..."
"It's, okay." Dee Dee replied. "Please don't feel guilty for expressing that you want a family. I'm struggling, but I don't want you to walk on egg shells around me, okay? Please just be yourself."
Mark felt a little better after Dee Dee consoled him. "I will."
"Alright, then. How about we get some junk food and start a movie?"
"Sounds like a good idea." Mark and Dee Dee chose a comedy, went out to gather their snacks and returned to take their seats in the center of the back row, but not before collecting pillows and blankets to make themselves even more comfortable. Mark had pointed out the closet to Dee Dee on their way to the concession stand. He always kept a supply of those items stacked away for his guest.
Once settled in, nice and comfy in their seats, the two began the movie. It did Mark's heart good to actually hear laughter coming from Dee Dee. He told himself that he needed to try harder at making her laugh. She needed it, and so did he.
He wasn't the only one feeling this way.
Rick, still sitting beneath the pier, thought of how many times he and Dee Dee had come to the beach to console one another or to just have a free moment to relax and to laugh. He couldn't get the idea of her never laughing again, but he feared that even if she did, he may never be allowed to hear it.
(Continued...)